by Lolly Walter
“I couldn’t. Not anymore. I hurt too many people, and I didn’t make anyone safer.” Joe shrugged and pretended he was fine. “I don’t blame you. You either, Oliver.”
“I’m sorry, kid. We were both hoping you’d stay out of it,” Oliver said. “The boss wants to see you first.”
Of course. Boggs had expected Joe all along. For a microsecond, his fear for Devin was so great, because now Boggs would hurt him for real, that Joe thought about trying to fish his gun out of his pocket and forcing Sam or Oliver to kill him. He couldn’t, though, probably never would have been able to pull the trigger no matter who was guarding the door. Bea had said taking Nina wasn’t in him, and killing another human being wasn’t in him, either. He dropped his head. “Lead the way.”
Oliver rapped three times on the door while Sam stepped behind Joe. Soft footfalls approached from inside the apartment, and when the door swung open, Joe gasped.
The boss wasn’t Boggs.
***
As soon as he saw it was Victor pulling him up, Devin knew Joe wouldn’t wait for them. He scrambled wildly on the rusty railing, trying to dig his toes between the rails and vault over them all at once. All his flailing caused Victor’s hold to slip, and Devin almost fell. By the time he righted himself and Victor got him safely onto the balcony, Joe was gone.
Devin ran, not bothering with his shoes. He’d almost reached the door when Victor’s hand closed over his mouth and a powerful arm wrapped around his ribcage, trapping his arms at his sides. Victor swept Devin’s feet out from under him and silently lowered him to the ground. Devin screamed, tried to bite. Kicked. Tried to roll.
Victor didn’t let go. His heavy body pinned Devin, held him prisoner.
Voices came from the hall. Joe. And was that… Shit. Sam and Oliver. Joe wouldn’t shoot, wouldn’t protect himself. For everything Devin didn’t know about his partner, he knew that. Joe wouldn’t kill. Joe protected. He kept people safe.
Tears trickled down Devin’s cheeks, wetting Victor’s hand.
The door across the hall opened and closed. Devin couldn’t hear anything. Above him, he felt Victor straining to see out the partially open door.
“They all went inside,” Victor whispered. “Calm down, blanco, and I’ll take my hand off your mouth. If you cooperate, we can get in a better position to listen.”
Devin stilled, and Victor loosened the grip on his mouth but didn’t take his hand away.
“They’re gonna kill him,” Devin said.
“Not necessarily. Joe’s smart. But he wants you to be safe. That comes first.”
All of this was to keep him safe — the lying, the searches, Bea’s death. Devin had never asked for this, sure as hell didn’t want it.
“What do you care, Victor?”
He was shocked when Victor kissed his temple.
“It’s an ugly thing, hate. But it snuggles right on up to love. You feel it, don’t you, blanco? You hate him right now? But you love him, too.” Victor rested his head on Devin’s. “So do I.”
“You don’t know shit about love. You used him.”
“I made terrible mistakes five years ago. Beat him. Whored him out. The day he ran away, I brought home books for him.” Victor huffed a pained laugh. “I was gonna apologize, ask if we could start over. He was gone. Ebony, too. I lost my baby, my best friend, and my lover all at once. God, I hated him. Hate him still.”
“He was a child.”
“So was I.”
Devin didn’t know what to say to that. It was true. Did that make Victor less at fault? Devin wasn’t inclined toward feelings of mercy right now. “You were cruel to him after Nina got stolen.”
“Another mistake.”
Devin fidgeted. Thought of Joe across the hall. Had to get to him.
Victor pressed him harder into the floor. “You have to listen, blanco. I need to confess, and he’s not gonna get to hear it. Someone needs to know.”
“We could be helping him.”
“We can’t and you know it. At least three people are guarding the apartment. Joe has the gun. Our part is over.”
Devin laid his head on the floor. Fresh tears fell. Victor was right. However this ended, they were powerless to help Joe.
“I’m sorry. I wish it was different. Please listen.” Victor kissed Devin’s temple again, the way Devin had seen Ebony kiss Nina. “I shouldn’t have told anyone about the mom. I kept it secret all that time, but I was so damned bitter after he left. Heartbroken. I blamed him for all of it. Not just the running away and taking Ebony, but the baby dying, too. He was the one going out and hustling. He probably brought some disease home and that’s why the baby died. It wasn’t fair of me, but I didn’t know what to do, and being angry kept me moving forward. So I resented him, hated him, and let that fester and grow these last five fucking years. When the new baby got taken, I thought, ‘This is my chance. I finally get to wreck him as bad as he wrecked me.’ I told everyone his secret, and it felt so perfect when I was talking. And then I looked at his face, saw what I’d done to him. It was so wrong, what I did, whether I hated him or not. I need you to understand how sorry I am.”
“You want him back.”
“I don’t. You won’t understand it yet, but I still hate him. And I love him. But neither thing matters, because him and me will never be together. I don’t get a chance after this, so I’m gonna make this count. You are staying safe, because you matter to him, and he matters to me. And I need someone to know he mattered to me. You got me, blanco?”
“Yeah, now let me the hell up.”
“I got more to say.”
“Jesus, Victor—”
A loud thump sounded from across the hall, and Devin couldn’t take it. He had to get up and find out what was going on. He struggled harder, kicking his feet against Victor’s legs, and hit a piece of furniture. With a loud crash, a table tumbled onto its side.
Victor and Devin stared at each other for a frozen second, then scrambled to their feet.
***
Joe should’ve seen this coming, should’ve asked questions, should’ve thought. He hadn’t, though. He’d been too blinded by grief and guilt and fear. She’d been there the night Nina was taken.
“Joe, what a pleasurable surprise, at least for me.” Matching her bodysuit, Candy’s eyes glowed an eerie iridescent green. Joe was reminded of a picture he’d seen of a cicada, except Candy wasn’t as beautiful. She drew his attention to her, scraping a pointed red nail along his cheek hard enough to sting. “Perhaps I’ll have a little fun in this dreary place while I await my escape.”
She turned away and curled up on a low sofa. Dainty feet tucked under her ass, she patted the seat next to her. Joe sat and tried to fit himself back into the role he’d played for the past few years, be the willing whore, but he couldn’t. Devin had ripped open something inside him, and he’d never be able to be that person again. He’d almost feel free if he hadn’t lost Devin in the process.
“You took Ebony’s baby.”
“Of course not, silly boy.” Candy swatted his arm playfully. She wasn’t even scared. “Brandon’s minions did the dirty work.” Her tinkling laugh grated Joe’s nerves. “But I have been stuck here, changing smelly diapers, while we wait.”
“What are you waiting for?” Joe didn’t care. He asked out of the habit of caring.
“Our buyer fell through. Brandon thought it would be smarter to stay here while we arranged a second buyer. Saves me from traveling to other cities. He’s quite a cheap bastard.”
“Is Nina all right?”
“Who, the baby?” This time when Candy slapped his arm, her hand stayed. It slithered under his sleeve.
Joe pushed it away mechanically. He was going to die. He wanted Devin to be his last touch, his last kiss. “Yes, the baby.”
“She’s fine. Cries. I don’t know what that’s all about, but it’s none of my concern. We’ll find her new parents or masters, whatever, and they can worry about it.” She rested her
head on his shoulder.
He shrugged it off.
Candy put a hand on her hip and, with one finger on the other hand, motioned Joe closer. When he didn’t move, she snapped her fingers toward Sam and Oliver.
“We can do this easy or hard, Joe. It’s your choice. Are you going to cooperate, or am I going to make these nice men force you? I like to watch, too, you know.”
“I’m done being a whore.”
She laughed again, sliding her feet out from under her and resting them on the floor. “Once a whore, always a whore. And I may be able to sweeten the deal. I can give you things.”
“I don’t want anything you can give me.”
Those iridescent eyes flashed, and one of her sharp fingernails pricked Joe’s arm. A trickle of blood glided down his skin. Candy leaned in and whispered, “I can take you with me.”
Joe sat up straight and met her eyes.
“See, beautiful, I’m not so bad.” Candy swung around and straddled Joe’s thighs. Her hands rested on his chest. “Brandon’s told me how obsessive you are about your money; how much it matters to you. We laugh about it in bed. But it got me wondering. What would a little street rat in Austin want with money? You can’t use it here, and I know you’re not dumb enough to think you can. You want out of town.”
“I do.”
Candy tilted her head and tapped her fingers along Joe’s chest. In a sing-song voice, she said, “I can make that happen.”
“For a price.”
“Nothing is free, dear, but my price is painless.” Candy smiled, and it gave Joe chills. “I get very bored at home. I have endless friends and parties and boys to sleep with, but it all gets so mundane. You’re a great little fuck, Joe, and I like all the light going on behind your eyes. You’d be a very fun toy to have at my beck and call. You’d live with me, sleep with me, do my bidding, then when I tire of you, you’ll be cast aside and you can do whatever your heart desires. A few years of servitude isn’t too high a price to pay for a trip north and your eventual freedom.”
She was right, wasn’t she? What did he have to lose? Devin didn’t want him. Bea was dead. Ebony wouldn’t forgive him. He’d hurt them all. Hell, he was a whore. What did it matter, anyway? That shower where he’d tried to wash himself clean? It hadn’t worked. He’d never be clean. He didn’t remember putting his hands on Candy’s hips, but they were there. He squeezed her closer.
From another room, the baby began to cry.
Candy rolled her eyes. “What a pain in the ass.”
Like an icy slap, Joe woke up. Devin had cooed at that baby, petted her and doted on her. He hadn’t thought she was a pain in the ass. Devin was kind and gentle, and yes, he had a temper. He was mad, but he’d get over it. And Joe wasn’t the ugly things he’d had to do to survive. He’d had the best of intentions, and he was tired of the life he’d led. He wasn’t consigning himself to years with Candy and without dignity. He wasn’t leaving Devin, who was somewhere in this building, or hopefully, rushing home to wait for him there. He had to make sure Devin was safe, but he wasn’t going to do it by living a lie.
He stood and dumped Candy onto the floor.
“I’m not interested.”
Oliver stepped forward and helped Candy to her feet. Her eyes had hardened, and Joe couldn’t think of a way to escape. If he had any sense, he would have run as soon as Candy hit the ground.
A crashing noise came from outside the apartment, and Joe froze.
“Sit tight,” Sam said. “I’ll check on it.”
Sam left, and for the first time since he’d entered the apartment, Joe was afraid.
***
They would have made terrible spies. Devin and Victor hadn’t managed to do more than stand when Sam burst into the apartment, weapon pointed at them.
Sam watched them standing stupidly, doing nothing. The man with the plans was in the other room. Devin had no idea what to do or how to behave. He stepped sideways to make some room between himself and Victor, and Sam pointed the gun in his direction. Devin stopped moving.
“Joe?” Devin asked. He couldn’t help it.
Sam grimaced, then put the gun to his lips.
Devin got it. Be quiet.
“Hide,” Sam mouthed. He grabbed Victor’s arm and dragged him out of the room.
***
Joe prayed while he waited. His dad may have been agnostic and his mom a bit of a skeptic, but he was certain now; he was a believer.
Oliver stood several feet to his right, and Joe sensed Candy behind him, still standing where he’d dumped her from his lap.
They waited several breathless seconds, then Sam returned with a wide-eyed Victor in front of him, but no Devin. Joe took a shuddering breath and covered his face with his hand to mask his relief.
“Oh, Victor, it’s just you,” Candy said. “I’d thought Joe might’ve brought his pretty blond friend for backup. Well, this will be easy.”
“Fuck off, Candy.” Victor grabbed his crotch and jerked it toward her.
“Don’t be such a party pooper. What is it you want, Victor? You really should have stayed away. The description the guards gave me of yesterday’s intruders made me certain it was you and the cute little blond girl, but I’d hoped you’d learned your lesson. Did she die, your friend? I know she got shot.”
Victor and Candy knew each other? In all the years Joe had known Candy, he’d never seen her interact with another runner besides him. She’d been in their presence, sure, but she’d never spoken to or even looked at anyone else until the night of the carnival.
Victor glanced at Joe, then focused back on Candy. “It was wrong, taking that baby.”
Joe blinked. His heart skittered. Everything fell into place. Bea, scared, at the carnival; her asking what Joe thought had happened to the baby. How Victor had known about the stairs; how he’d known where to find Nina. They hadn’t sneaked off from the search to get some privacy. They’d gone to try to get the baby back. The baby they’d stolen.
“You got paid,” Candy said. “What do you care?”
Joe didn’t bother to turn toward Candy when she spoke. He couldn’t take his eyes off Victor. “You and Bea.”
Victor clasped his hands in front of his chest. “Efraín, it was wrong, I know. You have to understand, we… we were toxic together, me and Bea. We were both so pissed. We wanted to hurt you. God, Ebony got over it the first time, didn’t she? I thought… I thought if I couldn’t have a baby, she shouldn’t get to, either. Bea said it’d be okay — that you’d lose everything, the runners would turn on you — and we’d be happy if we just did this one thing.”
“You son of a bitch.” Never would Joe have expected this. He’d known Bea was furious. Victor hated him forever. But this? And Bea had paid with her life. Odds were he and Victor would, too. Nina. Devin.
“We knew we’d messed up the next morning after I told everyone your secret. What we’d done didn’t make anything better.” Victor straightened, and his eyes grew hard. “There is no hurting you that’s enough, you bastard. Everything I do to hurt you hurts me, too, and none of it ever makes me happy. Ebony didn’t deserve to be hurt because I can’t let you go. Me and Bea, we saw that this apartment was still lit and figured Candy must not have left town right away after all. We decided to try to get the baby back, but that all went to hell.”
“You got Bea killed!”
“You and I both did.” Victor smiled, twisted and pained. “Don’t go giving me all the credit.”
“Entertaining as your little blamefest is, boys, Joe was about to die.” Candy’s voice scratched over Joe, as sharp and cruel as her nails. “You, too, Victor. You had to know you’d be killed if you returned. Can’t have either of you blabbing to the rest of Brandon’s employees about him being a baby thief.”
“I’m not stupid, you freaky bitch. I knew what I was doing.” Victor’s eyes dragged slow and heavy down Joe’s body. “Some things are worth it, right Efraín?”
“Blah. Blah. Blah. Last
chance to change your mind and come north, Joe.”
The torment on Victor’s face drowned out the meaning of Candy’s words and crushed the last of Joe’s hope. Victor expected to die. Devin might have a chance, but only if Joe was dead.
“I’m sorry, Victor.” Joe surprised himself by how much he meant it.
Victor opened his arms and stepped into Joe’s space. He pressed their bodies together and whispered, “I’m sorry, too.”
He leaned back an inch or so, and his hands came to rest on Joe’s hips. He smiled the way he had the day they’d met, a little hopeful, a little shy, and so haunted, and he repeated the words he had said the first time they’d met. “You and me are gonna be friends. I’m gonna take care of you.”
He leaned forward and kissed Joe’s forehead. His hand slipped into Joe’s pocket.
Joe didn’t understand why Victor would fumble around in his pants that way, not until the weight in the pocket decreased. The barest reflection bounced off the silver metal in the millisecond it took Victor to raise Joe’s gun, aim, and fire.
Candy crumpled.
Victor’s eyes registered satisfaction before he shoved Joe to the floor.
A sharp snap of energy lashed through the air, and Victor fell. His legs twitched.
Oliver’s weapon recoiled only a little before he trained it on Joe. “I’m sorry, kid. I respect the hell out of you, but Boggs’ll blame us if we leave loose ends.”
Joe didn’t even try to defend himself. He rose to his knees with a vague idea of having a straight back, some dignity, before he died. Victor curved a wet hand around his wrist, and Joe twined their fingers. Neither of them would die alone.
To Joe’s left, something moved, but he didn’t look. He kept his eyes on Oliver’s, so he heard rather than saw the whip of electricity, but he saw Oliver’s face, his surprise, the way his tense jaw relaxed and dropped open a moment before a trickle of blood appeared on the edge of his lip, followed a second later by red drops coming from his ears. He fell then, and that’s when Joe turned and saw Sam holding his weapon, pointing it at the other guard. A rasping noise caught his attention, and Joe looked down.
