by Jill Valley
“I doubt it,” I say. “I don’t think it’s me they’re mad at.”
I don’t know that for a fact, because I feel very vulnerable at the moment, but in my fuzzy head all I want is for Mark to understand the danger he must be in.
The guys are getting closer to us, and I’m shrinking away. Mark is still oblivious when the front door of the Black Jack bursts open.
My knees go weak from relief at the sight of JJ standing there. Both Ben and Sylvan are behind him.
JJ’s eyes are wild until they land on me. He strides forward, and I swear I’ve never seen a more beautiful man. He has broad shoulders, and the slight sway to his hips is sexy as hell. In my drunken state I don’t even know that I’m staring. I just do.
He might be smaller than the guy with no neck, but I’d pick him over Evan in a fight any day.
JJ walks right up to us and points at Mark.
“Let go of her hand. Now,” he says. No one in the bar is saying a word, but the music is still playing, so he has to raise his voice to be heard.
Somehow I feel like I’ve done something wrong that I should apologize for, but I don’t know what. I just stand there while Mark doesn’t let go of my hand.
“Why?” Mark asks.
“Let go of her hand or I’ll make you let go of it,” says JJ, taking a step forward. Mark shrinks away from him a bit.
“Hey JJ,” yells Evan. “If you don’t beat him up I will.”
“Can we just call this one even, Evan?” JJ asks, talking over my head. I guess he knows Evan. Somehow that shouldn’t surprise me.
I turn around and see Evan give a large shrug. “Whatever you want, man,” he says.
“Come on,” says JJ to me. He reaches out his hand and I don’t hesitate. I release Mark’s hand and take JJ’s. It’s warm and comforting. Mark looks lost as JJ pulls me away.
JJ steps up to me and cradles my face in his hands. He looks into my eyes and, in front of every person in the bar he says in a gruff voice, “Are you okay?”
I nod. “Yeah,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
His eyes soften, making heat rush through my blood.
“For what?” he murmurs. He’s gently rubbing my cheekbones with his thumbs, and it’s making it hard to think.
“I have no idea,” I say honestly.
He nods sympathetically.
“Come on,” he says, “we can talk outside.”
But the last of my strength has been used up just standing there. JJ notices my hesitation and wraps a strong arm around my waist, cradling me close. Ben and Sylvan make way for us as he leads me out the doors.
“You shouldn’t have come here,” says some guy standing nearby, but I don’t have the energy to turn.
JJ nods to the bouncers and pushes the door open. I take a deep breath as the cool night air hits me in the face.
“Why’s it called the Remember?” I ask. I snuggle closer into my blankets. Sleep is taking over my eyelids and insisting they close, but I’m putting up a good fight. My head feels funny and all the pain inside me has dulled to a distant ache. I feel JJ’s hands rubbing my back, small circles of heat sparking in the places he touches.
I hear pleasure in his voice as he answers, and I’m ridiculously happy that I’m the one making him happy . . . especially after my super embarrassing behavior tonight.
“My grandfather named it,” he murmurs. “He refused to tell me at first, but eventually he did. I informed him that if I was taking the place over I had to know how it got its name, and he relented.”
“I’d relent too if you wanted something from me,” I say. Must be drunk. Wow, how could I fall so far?
“It was right before he died. We were talking one night and it was late, but he wasn’t tired.”
I’m not looking at JJ, but he continues to rub my back as his voice takes on a distant quality.
“He was more lucid than I’d seen him in a long time and he wanted to talk,” he continues.
“I wish I’d met him,” I say. “Know what all the fuss is about.”
JJ chuckles. “He would have liked you.”
I flush with pleasure, or maybe that’s from his gentle touch. I open my eyes to look at him, but they feel dry and scratchy so I close them again.
“Anyway,” says JJ, “my grandfather starts talking and he says that the best moments in life are never moments at all. They don’t just make you happy for a few hours and then fade into the background. They make you happy for days, years, decades, a lifetime, and forever. You have to remember and cherish them and treat them like they’re the sacred objects they are. Like the people you love; never let them fade away.”
“What if people you love don’t love you back?” I ask. I’m so relaxed I barely know what I’m saying.
“If you love someone and they don’t love you back then it wasn’t real love to begin with,” says JJ. “My grandfather always thought that was obvious.”
“I think that’s nice,” I say. “But I don’t think that’s all there is,” I murmur. “I think when he gave that name - to a bar no less - he was thinking of something, or maybe someone specific.”
“Maybe,” JJ whispers it very close to my ear, but I’m too tired.
“Goodnight,” I say. It’s the last word out of my mouth.
“Goodnight, Nora,” he whispers back. “Sweetest of dreams.”
I wake up in the morning with a massive headache. Barely opening my eyes, I look at my nightstand. There’s a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin. I’m never drinking again in my life.
Gingerly I take the glass of water and drink the whole thing, only pausing at the end to open the bottle and swallow a pill. I see a black and white blur moving toward me and Snick wanders in, gives me a disapproving look, and wanders away again.
“I’m right there with you, Snick,” I mutter. After the water I feel better enough to sit up.
It’s only then that I fully open my eyes . . . and yelp. There’s a body lying next to me in my bed. I thought it was just extra pillows. Hell, I don’t even know what I thought. I drank too much last night. That hasn’t happened, well, ever. This summer seems to be piling up the new experiences.
JJ rolls over and opens one eye to examine me.
“Hey,” he says, his voice only slightly thick from sleep. “You have a very nice cat. Mine should take lessons.”
“Uhh,” I say. “What are you doing in my bed?”
“Tap dancing,” he says. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Cats don’t give lessons,” I say sagely. JJ chuckles.
I pause and close my eyes, trying to remember the night. Everything comes back to me slowly and I remember going into the Remember and making a total fool of myself in front of my friends. Oh man, oh dear, ohhh shit. How could I? I remember JJ getting into a fight with someone about me and then insisting on bringing me home. There’s a good chance Sylvan drove us back to my place in his squad car.
I cover my face with my hands. I want to die.
Two large strong hands, which I have already spent way too much time in my life staring at, take hold of my wrists. Instead of calming my frantically racing pulse, the gesture only serves to ignite it further.
Mortified, I meet JJ’s beautiful gray eyes.
“Yes, look at me, examine the beauty in my eyes,” JJ says, grinning, and I shrink even further.
“Did I tell you that last night?” I ask, a total ball of mortification.
“Oh, yes,” says JJ, beaming. “Obviously, I was flattered.”
He looks like he’s about to say something else, but then he stops. We both go breathless at the same time.
“What are you DOING here?” I cry, shocked again.
“You said goodnight,” he shrugs. “I thought that was an invitation to stay. It was really late. You didn’t want me to go all the way back to my apartment, did you?”
“Of course I did,” I say, feeling my face heat up. “I don’t give a damn what happens to you once I’m comfortable.”
I clap my hand over my mouth as JJ chuckles. “Hard-hearted despite the sweetness. I get it.” He shifts the pillows and braces his head on his laced hands.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he says. “In fact, I think you should make me breakfast.”
“Did one of the guys at the Black Jack hit you really hard in the head?” I ask. “Because that’s not happening.” It’s mostly not happening because I wouldn’t get out of a bed I’m in with JJ for a million dollars. I have a bucket list to finish, and I’m going to do it.
I snuggle further into the covers and JJ’s eyebrows rise.
“You aren’t teasing me, are you?”
I grin at him in what I hope is a suggestive way.
“Nope,” I say coyly. Gosh, people actually do stuff like this? I kind of like it.
“Didn’t think so,” he, says, looking away. “By the way, I did my best to help you out, but I stopped short of removing your makeup for you.”
It takes me all of half a second to process what he’s saying. With a scream I leap out of bed and rush to the bathroom, the sound of JJ’s chuckle following me.
I’m a mess. I mean, since I’ve never cared what guys think about me, I barely wear makeup. Looking good would get in the way of the whole blending in so no one ever notices me thing, and I’m not a self-conscious girl. But I seriously want to die when I see my face. My mascara is streaked and my eyeliner is in all kinds of places that aren’t my eyes.
After about ten minutes I feel presentable and head for the kitchen, but JJ isn’t there. Frowning, I check the living room.
No JJ.
Finally, carefully, I returned to the bedroom. Sure enough, there he is, curled up with a book. My traitorous cat is snuggled into his side, purring like a fire engine.
I lean against the door and fold my arms over my chest, mostly to hide the fact that my hands are shaking. JJ looks good. Like, really good. He gives me a boyish grin and looks up from his book.
No wait!
It’s my book.
I want to melt into the floor.
“I have to read it for school,” I say, shrugging.
“Most girls like any excuse to read Pride and Prejudice for the millionth time,” he says. “Mr. Darcy’s so sexy.”
“How do you know I’ve read it a million times?” I ask, still glued to the door.
“Because this book is worn through,” he says. “I’m surprised it’s staying together.”
“I got it used,” I say.
“Sure you did,” he smiles.
I quirk an eyebrow at him.
“You’re entirely too comfortable in my bed.”
“There’s no such thing,” he says.
“You should get out of my bed,” I say, but there’s no heart behind it.
JJ can sense what I mean, and instead of responding to what I actually say, he just sits up a bit. Snick, realizing snuggle time is over - at least for him - picks himself up and leaps off the bed. My heart is racing.
JJ crooks a finger at me and mouths. “Come here.”
Steeling myself, I walk over to the bed.
JJ takes my hand and pulls me down so that I’m curled on top of him, my head resting under his chin. He lightly rests his other hand on my hip, keeping hold of my other hand with his. Lightly, I rest my free hand on his chest. I can still feel the heat of his skin, his hard pecs, and the beat of his heart.
I snuggle closer and JJ gives a contented sigh.
“Comfortable?” he murmurs. He brushes the top of my head and holds me closer.
“Mmm humm,” I say. “Very.”
“Good,” he whispers. He lets go of my hand and I’m about to protest when he places his fingers under my chin and tilts my face up.
We’re inches apart, breathing the same air. I want to guzzle it, very unromantic. My silly thought must show in my face, because his eyes spark.
“Yes?” he asks. I can feel the start of a rumble in his chest, because, you know, I’m lying on top of JJ freaking Curtis.
I shake my head, barely daring to move. “Nothing,” I say.
“Good,” he whispers again, and tilts his head down to mine. His lips are feather light, barely caressing mine. I’m trembling all over, and he releases his chin as his hands find my hips again. This time he gently turns me. It takes me long enough to realize what he’s doing that I fumble with my hands. They hit all sorts of things, his torso, his hip, his stomach and lower abdomen. At that one he gives a groan.
Nervous, I let my full body weight fall onto him so that I can pick my hands up and grip his biceps. I feel the heat of his skin and hold him closer.
Gently, with the same feather light touch, JJ rests his hands on my back. I feel his body rise and fall under me, his breath labored.
“You okay?” he asks hoarsely. I met his eyes.
I nod once and he starts to rub his hands over my back, gently kneading and massaging.
“Good,” he murmurs.
I’m staring at his lips. Like, forget his gorgeous eyes. My eyes are locked on his mouth.
“What?” he asks, laughing a little now. He almost dislodges me, and his hands tighten on my waist to keep me steady.
“Nothing,” I murmur. My face must be beet red and my head still feels fuzzy from the effects of last night.
His phone chooses that moment to buzz and I silently curse it. I don’t know at what point I realized I wanted this - I mean, I'm lying on top of him after all - but I do.
JJ swears softly and reaches for the phone, which is sitting on the nightstand.
“It’s Lila,” he says frowning. “I have to get this.”
I nod, but I refuse to move. He’s grinning at me as he answers.
I can hear her tone, but not her words. She sounds frantic. JJ’s face falls, and reluctantly I push myself off him. Instantly I miss the contact, but JJ sits up and starts grabbing his stuff.
“I’ll be right there,” he says. “Is everyone okay?”
I can’t hear her answer, but JJ nods. That has to be good, right?
He hangs up the phone and looks at me. “There was a fire at the Remember,” he says. “They think it might have been set intentionally.”
I clap my hand over my mouth. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
His eyes look so sad I can't bear to look at them, and there’s tension in every line of his body. “Are you going to be alright?”
“Sure,” I say. “I’m going to spend the day seeing what it feels like to be an irresponsible lush.”
He smiles a little at that, and my heart lifts a fraction.
“Good,” he says. “I’ll call you later and let you know what’s happened.” He starts forward, as if he wants to do something more, but then he thinks better of it, gives me a nod, and leaves without looking back.
I feel lost. I had been imagining that we’d spend the day together. Of course we have to respect the fact that he and Jessie just broke up, but a moment before this I didn’t really want to. Now the Remember might have burned, and I can't even take in what that might end up meaning.
I check my phone and see several messages from Lizzy, who wants me to meet her and Noah at the coffee shop. I grab my wallet and rush out, eager to see what they’ve heard about the Remember.
As soon as I walk in the door, two sets of eyes turn questioningly toward me.
“Sooo,” says Lizzy gleefully, “how’s our most recent lush?”
I roll my eyes and blush. I hate losing control, and this time it didn't even make me feel better, especially because JJ saw it.
Lizzy and Noah are sitting at one of the tables in the corner, and I’m glad no one else is in the shop. I would have felt uncomfortable talking about JJ in front of strangers.
I go over and sit down. Noah has already gotten me coffee, and he has a ridiculous grin on his face. “You two better come back next summer when I’m twenty-one,” he says. “I hate missing this stuff.”
“Assuming I let you back next summer,” yells his gr
andmother’s voice from the back.
“Gram's here,” he says, still grinning as he cradles his own mug.
“Tell. Me. Everything,” Lizzy says.
I just shrug. “Nothing much happened,” I say. “He just brought me home. Now there’s apparently a fire at the Remember.”
“Oh, no!” says Lizzy, while Noah holds up his hand.
“Hang on,” he says, “do you know that because JJ texted you about it, or because he was there this morning to tell you about it?”
“Ohhh,” says Lizzy, her eyes lighting up. “Nora, tsk tsk.” She's laughing.
“Hey,” I say, “I’m young. I can flirt.” But it’s more than that. It’s so much more than that, and we all know it.
Lizzy rolls her eyes. “Yeah, you can. I’ve been trying to tell you that for years.”
“What about you?” I say. “Where’s Steven? You were supposed to spend summers together and you don’t. Instead, you drag me and Aimee to bars and flirt with everything that moves.”
“NO I DO NOT,” Lizzy yells. “I only flirt with guys that move!”
We glare at each other for a few seconds, then break into uncontrollable laughter. I’m glad Lizzy has broken the tension, because I hate fighting, especially with my best friend.
We sit there in the coffee shop for a long time. I’m shatteringly happy, and I’m afraid that if I make a wrong move or take a wrong breath, I’ll ruin it. The thought that JJ having to deal with a fire at the Remember is on my mind, and I tell my friends about it, but they tell me not to worry until I hear from him. I try not to, but I keep checking my phone.
I just stay there hanging out with my friends, smiling the whole time.
No one ever wishes the weekend to last only one day, but I kind of do at this point, because Saturday was wonderful and now Sunday sucks. I’m so wrapped up in talking to my friends that I don’t hear my phone buzz. When I finally look at it I see both a missed call and a voice mail.
JJ has probably tried to call me and I've missed it! I scramble for my phone.
But the number isn’t JJ’s. I don’t recognize it, except that I know it’s Boston. Fear grips me. What if something has happened to my mom or dad?
