by Jill Valley
“Steven should never have brought Jaia,” I whisper back. She was nice enough, quiet, but she obviously didn’t understand the history between her new boyfriend and his now ex-girlfriend. Lizzy is furious, and she can be the queen of catty when necessary.
Kevin has no idea what’s going on, so at one point Ellis takes him aside and explains it to him. He comes back looking entirely enlightened. By the end of the meal I just want to go home, but there are still toasts to be gotten through.
“It’s so pretty here,” says Jaia.
“Do you know anything about gardening or flowers or plants?” Lizzy asks dangerously.
Jaia gives her a bewildered look. “No,” she says.
“Does she need to in order to appreciate beauty?” Steven asks, his eyes flashing.
“Nope,” says Lizzy. “Just trying to understand exactly what I’m dealing with.”
“A bad attitude,” says Steven.
Kevin is his brother’s best man, and when he stands up to read his speech, we all quiet down. He isn’t as good-looking as James, his nose is a little large for his face and his eyes are light brown instead of bright blue. But he has the same lovely smile.
He clears his throat, a little nervous. “I overheard my brother talking to Amelia once,” he says. “My brother isn’t romantic, so it shocked me when I heard him say, ‘In the heat of the moment I saw you and knew that I would love you forever.’”
“If forever is a few years until you’re bored, then sure,” Lizzy mutters. Steven gives her a sharp look.
“James continued talking. The next thing they agreed to do was even more shocking. ‘We promise to love, honor, and cherish each other.’”
“Or until you find someone sluttier,” Lizzy mutters, just loud enough for Jaia to hear. Steven’s face is as red as a cherry.
Now Kevin is turning to Amelia and addressing her directly. “You’ve found a man who loves you unconditionally,” he says.
“At least until he sees one of your flaws. Low standards!” Lizzy cuts in.
Now everyone at the table is looking at Lizzy. She’s so caught up in the heat of the moment, giving quiet responses to Kevin’s speech, that she barely notices.
I reach over and take Nora’s hand, and she doesn’t pull it away. “It’s okay,” I whisper to her. I can see her flinching, and Sylvan is sitting there stony-faced. Nora hates it when her friends are in pain.
Steven looks furious and Jaia looks bewildered. I wonder what Steven told her to make her think coming here was a good idea.
Finally, Steven pushes his chair away and motions for Lizzy to follow him out. At first she refuses, but she relents when she catches on to how angry Steven is.
Jaia tries to get him to sit, but he refuses. As Lizzy walks past my chair I touch her wrist. “If you need me, just yell,” I whisper to her.
She smiles at me. “And disrupt the wonderful speech?”
Sylvan nods a thank you to me. I glance at Nora to see how she’s taken my offer of help, but she’s still refusing to look at me. The second Lizzy is out of view she releases my hand.
“She’ll come around,” whispers Ellis, shaking his head. “Just give her time.”
“I don’t deserve her to come around,” I say back. “And I don’t want to wait.”
“True love knows no bounds, including minor screwups,” says Ellis sagely. He points to the stage. “I’m sure they’re going to get out that little pearl of wisdom at some point.” He turns back to Kevin, who is still speaking. We all settle in to finish listening to the speeches.
Lizzy and Steven are gone for a long time. I can see both Sylvan and Jaia start to fidget. Sylvan obviously likes Lizzy and is probably having nightmares about Steven realizing what an asshole he’s been and wanting Lizzy back and Lizzy accepting. Jaia doesn’t seem concerned that her new boyfriend has disappeared with his ex-girlfriend. She just looks bored and a little impatient.
Eventually, Nora pushes her chair back. Her mouth in a resolute line.
Ellis motions for me to go with her, so I follow her in the same direction that Steven and Lizzy took.
Once we’re safely inside and away from the speeches she whirls around. “Are you following me?” she demands.
“No, I’m looking for Lizzy and Steven,” I say casually stuffing my hands into my pockets.
“So am I,” she says, rolling her eyes.
“Lucky me,” I say.
“Not yet,” she says, raising her tiny fist menacingly. “But you could be.”
I take her fist in my hand and hold it. She tries in vain to pull away. “Just let me say this,” I insist. I’m not above begging for this girl. “I screwed up. You know it and I know it. I’m sorry for it. Just tell me what I have to do to fix it.”
There’s a long pause, then her brow smooths and for a second I think she’s softening. Then her resolve strengthens again.
“You owe me BIG time,” she says. “Come along.”
I follow her quickly. “Does that mean I have a chance?”
She just shrugs. “Let’s find Steven and Lizzy before Lizzy does something drastic.”
“Like what?” I ask curiously.
“The last time a guy broke up with Lizzy was in fourth grade and she socked him in the eye,” she says.
“First of all,” I say, holding up my index finger, “who says ‘sock’ anymore?”
“I do.” Snow piled on the ice.
“And second of all,” I hold up another finger, “Steven definitely deserves to be socked, so walk more slowly.” Nora throws back her head and laughs. My heart soars at the sound.
“He does, but I don’t want Lizzy to ruin Amelia’s wedding,” she says, her eyes twinkling with happiness.
“Oh right,” I say. “Well, maybe she can sock him Sunday.”
“Exactly,” she says. “I’m glad we understand each other.”
“We always have,” I say, then instantly regret moving to such a serious topic. But Nora doesn’t say anything, she just keeps walking. I’m relieved. I’ve hurt her enough for a lifetime. Now I want to spend the rest of my life making her the happiest girl in the world.
Chapter Thirty-Four - Nora
“Hi guys,” says Lizzy. She’s sitting on the steps that lead upstairs. Her face is tear-streaked and she’s holding a tissue. I have a momentarily flashback of dashing up those stairs, but I shove it away. Now is not the time to live in memory. Now is the time to live in the present for my friend.
Lizzy has a wine bottle in her hand. When I point to it she holds it up and says, “Found the alcohol.”
“What about Steven?” JJ asks, stepping forward and looking around. “Did you already kill him and dig the grave?”
“Psh. What do you take me for, an idiot? I’m making him dig his own grave.” She chuckles and takes another sip of wine.
“I knew coming here was a bad idea,” I say worriedly. “We should have just stayed away from this wedding. You obviously aren’t ready to see him.”
Lizzy shrugs and pushes a stray strand of hair behind one ear. “He apologized. He said he didn’t think it would be so hard to be near me. In other circumstances it might have sounded romantic. . . .” Lizzy takes another big gulp. “It wasn’t.”
“We should go,” I say. “Let’s just call it a night and go home and watch romcoms.”
“We’ve spent the whole summer watching romcoms and no way,” says Lizzy. “We’re both going to see this thing through. We’re here for Amelia.”
“Not at the cost of our sanity.”
I sit down next to her and put my arm around her, as much to reassure myself that she’s okay as to offer comfort. She leans into me and rests her head on my shoulder.
“Girl, that went out the window a long time ago,” says Lizzy, taking another giant gulp.
She sighs.
“You’re going to mess up your hair if you leave your head on my shoulder,” I say.
“Totally worth it,” she says, and takes another drink. “Who i
s there here to impress anyway?”
“Hey,” says JJ, in mock hurt. “I’m offended.”
“Good,” says Lizzy, but she’s grinning while she says it.
“I wish you’d stop drinking,” says Nora in frustration. “You’re going to get drunk.”
“Also passed that mark a long time ago,” says Lizzy, shaking her head sadly.
I look at JJ, because I don’t know where else to turn. He can see how helpless I feel right now.
JJ shrugs and goes over to Lizzy. She stares at him with wide eyes.
“Yes, gorgeous?” she asks.
To his credit, JJ doesn’t even blush. Must be the bartender thing.
“Come on now, Lizzy, you’re here for Amelia. Don’t you want to remember her dinner tomorrow? And you spent all that time picking out a dress for the ceremony. Don’t you want a chance to wear it?” he cajoles.
Lizzy stares at the bottle of wine in her hand.
“Can I keep this for Sunday?” she asks, still giving him that wide-eyed stare.
He chuckles. I still love the sound.
“Definitely. I’ll get you another one and split it with you.”
“Humph,” she says. “Get your own.”
“Okay,” he says agreeably. “I’ll get my own. Hopefully I can find a bottle of wine somewhere in the bar I own.”
“Yeah, hopefully,” says Lizzy. She turns to me. “I’m surprised you let this one tag along.” She thumbs her finger in JJ’s direction.
I give a gusty sigh. “He’s confused about who’s in charge. Thinks he can just go where he pleases and that you two are friends. Imagine.”
Lizzy laughs. “We are friends. I like him a great deal.”
“You know, I’m still sitting here,” JJ points out.
“Yeah, yeah,” says Lizzy, waving him off. “Okay, both of you help me up and we can escort each other back to the dinner. I promise to be on my best kind of sober behavior.”
Lizzy won’t take no for an answer, so of course we go back.
Lizzy threads her arms through ours, and walking in the middle she leads us back to the festivities.
I barely think how weird it is, that I’m here for Amelia’s wedding, witnessing Lizzy and Steven’s breakup, with my new not-boyfriend.
I want to be there for my friend, but I also want to remember Michael. I’m doing that here, today, honoring his memory and the ties we made together. Amelia and I were close once and we will be again, but my future is a different one now, and I hope, I really hope, that he’s walking on the other side of Lizzy.
Chapter Thirty-Five - Nora
“So, you’re afraid he’s ruined you for all men? I’m sure that’s not true,” says Lizzy, her hands gripping the wheel tightly. Other than the wedding, it’s the first time since she and Steven broke up that I’ve seen her actually get dressed in the morning and straighten her hair. Every other day she’s worn sweats and a messy ponytail.
“You don’t think Steven has ruined you for all men?” I ask quietly as I stare at the trees flying past. It’s Sunday and we’re driving back to Portland. I asked Lizzy to drive because I’m tired from not sleeping well for far too long.
“Humph, Steven was lucky to have me. I refuse to let him think I’m never going to be happy now.” Her voice breaks a little as she says it.
“Oh, are you thinking of someone in particular? Maybe a certain someone who drives a car with flashing lights?” I tease.
Lizzy giggles, her whole face lighting up. “Maybe, but I don’t think he’s interested.”
I shrug. “He’s a good guy and you had a boyfriend. He’s not going to make a move on you until you’re single. And it was a long relationship. You need some time.”
“If by time you mean sex, then yes, that’s exactly what I need,” she says, fluffing her hair and laughing at my dumbfounded expression.
“I don’t see how you can get over it so easily,” I say wistfully.
“I’m not over it,” she responds more quietly, all joking aside. “I loved him and I thought I was going to marry him. He broke the most sacred bond: trust. Friends can do it too, but it’s different when your boyfriend does it. I deserve better. I’m just choosing to live.”
I nod. “Sounds very healthy.”
Lizzy throws back her head and laughs. “I put up a good front.”
“Do you think Steven will be happy with that girl?” she asks softly. I flinch. I could see that meeting Steven’s new girlfriend bothered Lizzy, but I haven’t wanted to bring it up unless she did.
“I’m sure in six months he’ll be totally miserable and come crawling back to you,” I say. To my relief Lizzy laughs.
“Naw,” she says, her eyes sparkling. “I only give them about four.”
I look out the car window again. We’re heading back for our last two weekends in Portland and I’m afraid, but it’s for an entirely different reason than what I feared when I came here a few short months ago.
“Do you think Sylvan likes me?” she asks.
“Way to try and sound casual,” I say dryly.
She grins. “Thanks, I’ve been practicing.”
“I think he might,” I say. I don’t want to get her hopes up. After what happened with JJ I’m just not sure it’s worth it.
“Nora, I think you’ve done an amazing job this summer,” she says quietly. “You opened yourself up and got past a lot of your fears. You’re a totally different person.”
I warm at her kinds words. I do feel different, and I’m glad to know that she has seen it. I sigh and examine my hands.
“It will be hard to say goodbye,” Lizzy murmurs, mirroring my thoughts.
I glance at her. “I’m not sure I can,” I whisper.
She reaches over and touches my arm sympathetically.
It’s like a lump in my throat. There’s nothing else to say.
“At least we did one thing right this summer,” she says.
“Oh?” I ask. “I can’t possibly think what that is.”
“We worked on your bucket list,” she says, trying for a smile. “You got out and did things.”
I close my eyes and lean my head back. “Love is the most important thing in the world and I don’t have it.”
“But you want it. You’re open to it, and JJ will get his head out of his ass, because despite the fact that he’s a guy and therefore stupid, love is the most important thing in the world to him, too.”
I hope she’s right. With all of my buried heart.
Chapter Thirty-Six - JJ
I give myself another mental kick. I made a fool of myself in front of Nora. Again. I really did, but at least she knows how much I care now. How much I feel like an asshole. I’ve totally cut Jessie out of my life. It doesn’t make sense for us to talk. She understands that. I just hope Nora can as well.
The Remember is barebones at the moment, but we’re open. I rushed the basic repairs so that my employees could start working again as soon as possible. It will take months to get everything back to how it was, but at least we’re up and running. It doesn’t take much setup to pour beer, after all.
“Where is your head at?” Lila demands. “Seriously, you made fewer mistakes when you were dating that girl.”
“That girl has a name,” I say dryly.
“Yeah, but I didn’t like her, so I don’t use it.” She braces her fists on her hips and glares at me.
“You didn’t like Jessie either? Thanks for the heads up,” I say dryly. We’re at the bar and it’s a Saturday night. I almost can’t stand being there knowing Nora isn’t going to come in, but it’s my bar and I have responsibilities.
Lila shrugs. “It’s not something you tell your boss.”
“Is it something you tell your friend?” I ask hotly.
Lila shrugs. “The point is, there’s something distracting you and you should deal with it.”
“Thanks,” I say. “You have a wonderful future as a mind reader or a psychiatrist.”
Lila rolls her eye
s. “Thanks,” she says, “I take cash or checks.”
Just then Melissa comes around the corner and motions to me. I’m relieved to move away from the customers. I just can’t handle the noise tonight.
“It’s your roommate,” she yells over the Saturday night din. I take the phone. He can only be calling for one thing.
“This place looks good,” Melissa says before she walks away. “No decorations. Just like you.” She pats me on the shoulder to soften the jab and grins as she gets back to work.
After Robby tells me that Anabella has gotten out again, I go over to Lila and ask how she’s doing. She grins and waves me off. “Get out of here,” she says. “You’re useless to me anyway.”
“Whose bar do you think this is?” I demand, laughing at her tone.
She grins. “You love it.”
“Sometimes I wonder how I ended up hiring you,” I say.
She laughs again. “You hired me because I’m awesome. Go home and find your love. Also find Anabella.”
I hurry out of the Remember.
It’s almost midnight as I hurry home. What’s worse is that to get to my place I have to pass Nora’s. I know I’ll look up at the window I know is hers to see if she’s still awake, her light burning brightly, guiding me home.
I shake my head at the nonsense of it. I screwed it up. I was afraid and I screwed everything up. What sucks the most is that it didn’t even feel like a good idea at the time, and I did it anyway. Idiot.
My heart lifts a little when I see that her light is on. I instantly bristle at the thought that she might be up there with Mark, but rationally I know she’s not.
It’s just that I’m not rational when it comes to Nora.
Chapter Thirty-Seven - Nora
I come to a full stop. Walking toward me is JJ. His hands are stuffed into his jean pockets, but he isn’t looking at me. He’s whistling. Strangely enough, it’s very similar to the whistle I use to call Snick.
I cross my arms over my chest and march up to him. When he notices me his face registers surprise. I vaguely note that he looks tired.
