by Lulu Pratt
“Well, I’m off to bed,” Sarah says, getting up.
I watched her walk to the bedroom she’s chosen for herself. I want to go with her. I want to come up with her, hold her tightly, and keep her warm against the storm. I want to be there for her in every way.
But I can’t.
I get up and switch off all the lights, except for the lights on the Christmas tree. I like the mood that it sets, and I know it’s important to Sarah. I walk to the spare room, ready to spend the night in separate rooms from each other. I’m going to respect her privacy. It kills me that I hurt her. I just want her to be happy.
Before I get in bed, I call Britney. I explain to her that I’m snowed in, and I won’t be able to make it home tonight.
“Where are you?” she asks. “Are you safe?”
“I’m at the cabin,” I say.
Britney has been here with me before, and she knows it well.
“Are you going to be okay, tonight?” I ask her.
“I’ll be fine. The kids are already asleep, safe and warm. It helps that James doesn’t know where I am. You don’t have to worry about me. Have a good night.”
I say goodnight and let her go. I feel torn. On the one hand, I’m right where I want to be with Sarah. On the other hand, I feel like I should be home to look after my sister. I don’t know which I should choose. With the snow so thick and the storm howling outside, I doubt I’m going to go home first thing in the morning, but the snow will eventually melt. When I don’t have an excuse to stay with Sarah, what will my reason be for sticking around? Will it be fair of me to stay here with her when I’ve been a dick to her?
Am I going to live this lie forever?
With all the questions in my mind, it feels like my thoughts are swirling the same way the snowflakes are outside. I close my eyes and focus on calming myself, so I can fall asleep. Tomorrow will be a new day, and hopefully, it will bring new answers.
Chapter 17
Sarah
When I wake on Sunday morning, I don’t feel so lost and out of place anymore. I’m starting to like the cabin. It’s cozy, and ever since Graham put up the decorations, it feels more cheerful.
When I open the curtains, it’s still snowing. I thought it would have been over by now, but I guess not. I watch the flakes swirl down to a white wonderland that looks nothing like the landscape we saw when we drove up to the cabin for the first time.
I doubt we’ll be able to leave the cabin with this weather. Graham said it was impossible yesterday. I don’t think the extra snowfall made things better.
I get dressed in jeans, a long-sleeved shirt and a jersey, complete with slippers because I’m freezing. I’ll let Graham start another fire. I know how to do it, but it’s been a while, and with a man in the house, I should take advantage of it while I can.
Graham is still sleeping in the second bedroom, so I creep to the kitchen. The fridge is fully stocked now, I’m glad he bought so many groceries if we’re going to be stuck here for some time, and I find eggs and bacon. I take bread from the pantry and start cooking. I’m relieved there is still electricity, despite the constant snowfall. I switched off my phone last night to save the battery, just in case, but so far, it looks all right. Still, I don’t want to risk it.
The smell of food fills the little cabin very quickly, and the hot plate heats the place up as well.
“You’re up early,” Graham says behind me.
I look over my shoulder at him. He’s dressed as well, his hair still mussed from sleep.
“Body clock,” I say. When it’s the school term, I set an alarm for early in the morning, so when I have time off, I wake up early, even when I don’t set an alarm to wake me.
“And you’re cooking,” he adds. “You don’t have to do that.”
I smile and shake my head. “I know, but I want to. Seeing that I’m staying here — even though it’s your place — you’re technically my guest. I’m making sure you eat.”
Graham chuckles. He builds a fire for me as I hoped he would before he sits at the little table that’s pushed against the wall.
“It’s the smell of bacon that woke me,” Graham says.
“There’s nothing like bacon,” I answer.
When the food is done, I plate it and sit down at the table with Graham.
“This looks fantastic,” he says.
“Not bad for being snowed in. It’s thanks to you and your idea to buy so many groceries. I don’t know why you did it, but it might save us. God knows how long we’ll be stuck here.”
Graham shakes his head. “I was trying to impress you.”
“Well, impression made,” I smile at him.
When breakfast is over, Graham and I wash up together, making sure everything is as clean as before I started. The cabin is small. Letting it get messy will be a mistake. Besides, I don’t feel comfortable dirtying up his place when I’m staying here for free. I realize that I’m not as comfortable in this space as I thought.
“Do you want to watch another movie?” Graham asks.
I nod. Another movie sounds great. Graham and I decide on the animated Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I love that we have the same taste, and this one is an absolute classic. I grew up with this one.
Graham and I sit closer together than last night, and he puts his arm around me. I like that he pulls me against him, into the warmth of his body. Everything about the setting is romantic. The fire crackling in the hearth, a movie that brings back childhood memories, snow outside the window, and the Christmas decorations on the walls.
I lean against Graham, pushing my body up against his. He’s stroking my arm with his thumb, and the movement is soothing and a turn on, all at the same time. When he comments on the show and I look up at him, his face is closer than I expected, and my breath hitches in my throat. He tips his head down to look at me, and everything falls away except me and Graham and the bubble we’re suddenly caught in.
He lowers his face, and his lips brush against mine so softly it seems like a question. I shiver. He hasn’t kissed me since I heard that I was going to be evicted. Since then, he’s been nothing more than a great friend, someone who’s there for me in my time of need. Now, alone together, it feels like the passion we started out with has returned.
I kiss him back, and it goes from soft and gentle to urgent quickly. His tongue is in my mouth, his arms around my body, pulling me closer and my hands are in his hair. Desire fuels me, and I feel like I’m burning from the inside out. God, I want this. I want him. I want him to peel my clothes off me, layer by layer, until I’m completely naked. I want to spread a blanket on the floor in front of the fireplace and have his naked body on top of mine as he fucks me.
I’m breathing hard, and it matches his.
Graham stops and pulls back from me, panting. I frown.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. For a moment, I worry that I did something wrong or that his phone is on vibrate and it just went off again.
Graham swallows hard, his lips parted. “We shouldn’t do this,” he says.
“Why?”
Why does this keep happening to me? Every time I think there will be more, there is some reason why we end up stopping. Before, it was out of our control. This time, Graham is making a move.
“You’ve been through a lot, Sarah. Having to leave your home, moving into a new place, being snowed in. It’s a lot to deal with. Not to mention me and my sister. We both have a lot on our plate, and I think that we should slow down.”
I nod. A part of me is screaming at him, irritated that he is doing this. Another part, the rational part, tells me he’s right. It will only add to the complications in both our lives.
“I think you’re right,” I say. Thankfully, Graham doesn’t move away from me.
“I just want to spend time with you,” he says. “Is that okay?”
I nod. Of course, it’s okay. I want to spend time with him, too. Being with him is comfortable, safe. We settle back against the
couch and carry on watching the movie. We didn’t miss much, although part of me wishes we did.
I’m lucky to have someone like Graham in my life. He so rational, taking everything into account, and he never pressures me to do anything. When everything in my life was tipped upside down, he offered me a place to stay. He even went above and beyond by buying me groceries and creating the atmosphere of Christmas in the cabin, even though it’s not home. Everything he’s done was with me in mind, and it feels amazing to be treated like something special.
Yes, us being stranded together in the cabin was not part of the plan, but I can’t say I hate it.
Chapter 18
Graham
I hate being stuck and not able to do anything. Sometimes, I get nervous that Britney won’t be all right, but when I call her, she sounds good.
“Don’t you worry about us,” she says, and I can hear the children playing in the background. “I’m doing better than I’ve done in years. You take care of yourself, and come back when you can. I’ll let you know if something comes up.”
After I speak to her, I feel better. I feel like putting Sarah out of her house for the sake of my sister might have been a good thing, even though I still feel rotten about it. Still, there is nothing I can do about it now.
Sarah and I spend all our time together — there’s nothing much to do in the cabin when we didn’t prepare to be snowed in. We chat and share stories about ourselves.
“How about we go back up to the attic and see what else there is we can use to pass the time?” I ask.
Sarah nods. “That sounds like a great idea. If I watch another Christmas movie, no matter how much I like the holidays, I think I’m going to be sick.”
I know exactly what she means, so we make our way up the wooden ladder again and search through the boxes in the attic. We find a box with board games — Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Clue. When I take them out, Sarah’s face lights up.
“These are the games of my childhood,” she says. “I can’t believe they’re all here.”
I nod. Britney and I used to play these games when we were kids, too. Despite being snowed in, this Christmas is starting to feel a lot like it used to when I was younger. Nostalgia wraps around me, and I’m glad this is happening. No matter what the circumstances, I’m exactly where I want to be right now.
Sarah and I take the games back down to the living room and start playing. Trivial Pursuit is first, and I beat her without even trying that hard.
“For someone who works at a school, your general knowledge is horrific.” I’m laughing at her.
Sarah blushes, and I haven’t seen that in a while. “I don’t work in the classrooms. If I did, maybe I would have done better. Besides, Scrabble is more my kind of thing.”
So, we start a game of Scrabble instead. She’s much better at this, winning the first game with a seven-letter bingo.
“Tell me about you,” I say after we been playing for a while. “We spend a lot of time together, but I still barely know you. How is it that a woman like you is single?”
Sarah glances at me, and I realize I might have touched on a sensitive topic. But I’m serious. Everything about Sarah is fascinating, mesmerizing and something I want to get to know. Surely, other men feel the same?
“I’m careful when it comes to dating,” Sarah admits. I would have never guessed that about her. She’s so open and carefree with me. Maybe I should take that as a compliment.
“Is there a reason?” I ask, even though I know the answer. No one is careful when it comes to dating unless they’ve been hurt in the past.
Sarah shrugs. “I dated a guy in college, and it didn’t end well. I can’t say he put me off dating, but he taught me that not everyone has good intentions and not everyone is selfless, and that love is not necessarily enough.”
I raised my eyebrows. “That’s a very wise approach to life,” I say.
Sarah handled a bad breakup in the right way. All I did was drink myself into a stupor for three days. After which, I fucked anything with two legs and a pair of tits ever since. This is why I like her so much — Sarah is calculated and carefree, all at the same time. She never stops surprising me.
“How about you?” she asks. I sigh. I asked about her, and she told me. It’s only fair for me to do the same.
“I dated a woman. It got serious, but it didn’t work out. I gave a lot of myself to her, and in the end, I was the one who ended up broken. It’s not something I’m willing to put out there again unless I find someone who will keep me whole.”
Sarah nods. “I guess I can say you’re pretty wise about it, too.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “I don’t think so. I’m not single because I have been looking for that someone. I’m single because I haven’t really paid attention to it again.”
“So, then, tell me about your sister,” Sarah says.
It’s an easier topic for me, and I tell her about Britney when we grew up. “She has three kids now — I mentioned that before, I think — and I absolutely adore them. Maybe one day, I’ll have kids of my own, but for now, I love spending my time with them. I don’t see them as often as you see Lindsay, though.”
“Why not?” Sarah asks.
I’m not going to go into details, so I shrug. “I don’t always get along with her husband. These things happen, I guess. So, I try to give them their space instead of putting Britney in a difficult position.”
“That’s mature of you,” Sarah says.
I look at her, surprised. Mature is the last thing I think about when I think about James. One of the reasons I stayed away is because after everything he’s done, I don’t trust myself not to get physical with him. I don’t generally lose my temper, but he brings out an ugly side, and until Britney decides he shouldn’t be in her life, I must respect him. Or, at least, not beat him within an inch of his life.
Sarah and I carry on playing. I watch her, so concentrated on the game, and she’s beautiful. It’s not just because she is so beautiful outside, but she’s also a stunning person on the inside. I realize I’m starting to fall for her. It makes me relieved that I haven’t done anything with her yet — it’s different when I feel something like the way I do now. I want to take it slow with her. I want to get to know her, want to become a part of her life instead of just fucking her and walking away.
I was worried that Britney and the kids wouldn’t be okay if they were alone with me snowed in at the cabin, but a part of me is happy it did. I would never have spent quality time like this with Sarah if this didn’t happen, and I love getting to know her.
Sometimes, fate’s design is a little different than what we have in mind. Right now, I couldn’t be happier.
If it wasn’t for the nasty business with evicting Sarah from her place and lying to her face about it, everything would be perfect. Unfortunately, the guilt still hangs over me. Just as I try to relax, it nudges me, reminding me of what I did.
Chapter 19
Sarah
On Monday, I wake up to the smell of coffee and toast, and I know Graham is in the little kitchen, cooking. When I get up to open the curtain, dim light spills into the room, and it’s clear outside. It’s stopped snowing.
This is a good sign. I don’t know how long it’s let up for — hopefully, it’s had some time to soften and melt away.
“Are we going to tag team this every morning?” I ask when I walk into the kitchen after I’m dressed.
Graham laughs, his back still turned to me. I’ve gotten used to the sound, being with him constantly, and it’s one of my favorite sounds.
“We’ll have to see who wakes up first tomorrow.”
I look at the windows next to the TV. “Do you think we’ll still be here tomorrow? It stopped snowing.”
Graham piles toast on a plate and comes to me to hand me a cup of coffee.
“I don’t think we’ll be able to leave today,” he says. “The snow is still very deep, and the sun hasn’t been out long enough to make a
difference.”
My heart sinks a little. “What are we doing to do?” I ask. “It’s Christmas Eve.”
Usually, I go to Monica’s house, and the four of us have a little Christmas dinner together. So, we’d planned do the same this Christmas. Or at least, that was the plan.
“We’ll have to make something of it here,” Graham says. “I didn’t exactly prepare for a Christmas dinner when I did the grocery shopping, but I’m sure we can whip up something.”
I nod. I guess we don’t have much of a choice. I don’t mind spending more time with Graham — the more I get to know him, the more I like him. It’s safe to say that I’m falling for him. Hard. But I want to spend Christmas with my family. I want to go somewhere familiar, somewhere that feels more like home.
I’m eternally grateful for Graham and the cabin he lets me use. I won’t forget his hospitality and kindness. And I enjoy spending a lot of time with him. But I’m starting to get a little homesick. For someone who doesn’t have a home anymore, that’s a little depressing. I can just imagine my landlord happily preparing for Christmas Eve with his family, not thinking twice about the woman he kicked out of her house less than a week before Christmas.
“Are you okay?” Graham asks, and I snap to the present.
“Fine,” I say to him. “I’m just having a moment. Sorry.” A moment of rage and resentment. But I’ll get over it because Graham doesn’t deserve me being sour, not after how much he’s been trying to cheer me up. And it’s not his fault he’s stuck here with me, anyway.
“I know this is hard for you,” Graham says. “But we’ll be gone by tomorrow night, at least. It will still be Christmas.”
I nod, trying to be positive.
“Come on,” Graham says. “Let’s eat.”
The coffee he made is fantastic, some people just have a knack for it, and we sit down at the little table again. This is becoming our routine. We eat together and talk about trivial things, enjoying each other’s company. Time is a strange thing. Life is so busy, we barely get time to stop and concentrate on ourselves and others. But when something like this happens, there’s nothing else to do but focus on one another. I would never have gotten to know Graham as well as I do now, or gotten to spend this type of quality time with him, if it wasn’t for us being snowed in.
