by Lulu Pratt
Everyone considers being snowed in as a natural disaster of sorts, but to me, this one is fate.
Chapter 22
Graham
It’s Christmas Day, and we’re still stuck at the cabin. Britney is still next door to my place in town, and I’m not there to take care of her. I feel a little guilty that Sarah was the only one on my mind.
When I call, Britney takes long enough to answer for me to get nervous.
“Sorry,” she says. “I was outside with the kids.”
I relax a little. “Merry Christmas,” I say, smiling.
“And to you, too,” Britney says. “Are we seeing you later?”
“I don’t think so. I’m still stuck here. The snow is too deep to get the car out, and it might take a while to melt.”
“At least you’re not alone,” Britney says, and I can just picture her face, amused and grinning.
“There is that,” I say, because I don’t know what else to say.
Sarah walks into the room, and my eyes follow her for a moment.
“Are you going to tell me about her, or are you going to keep her a snowed-in secret forever?” Britney asks.
Sarah glances at me, and I’m suddenly worried she can hear Brit’s voice over the speaker.
“I can’t really talk about that now,” I say.
“Right, she’s there,” Britney says, putting two and two together. My sister is ridiculously sharp when it comes to women in my life. If she was this sharp about men in hers… but that’s not fair, and I push the thought away.
“I’m sorry I can’t see you later. We’ll have to do Christmas on a different day so that I can see the kids. I got gifts for everyone. And you too.”
“You didn’t need to do that,” Britney says. “After everything you’ve done for us, with the move and the new place right next…”
Britney keeps talking, but I can barely focus on her words. Sarah is close by, and if she hears what Britney is saying, she’ll know everything. My stomach sinks to my shoes.
“Of course, I had to get you all gifts, it’s Christmas,” I interrupt Britney. When Sarah glances at me again, I wink. Too much? Maybe. “I think we should do Christmas as soon as I’m back, with a dinner and presents and everything.”
Britney laughs, and I’m relieved I can change the topic. I don’t want Sarah finding out that Britney and her kids are living next door. She’ll figure it out — she’s not dumb. I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me, not if she finds out like this. I know I’ll have to tell her at some point, but then, at least, it will have come from me, and maybe I can soften the blow somehow.
“Give my love to the kids,” I say. “I’ll call you again, tomorrow.” We end the conversation, and I tuck my phone into my pocket.
“Is your sister doing all right now?” Sarah asks. “With her issues?”
I nod. “Yes, I think she’ll be okay. At least, it sounds like she’ll enjoy this Christmas, which is all I wanted for her in the short term.”
Sarah nods. At least none of what I just said is a lie. Yes, the reasons are a little different than I’m letting Sarah believe, but it’s once again the lesser of two evils. It seems that two evils are the only choices I have every time.
The up side about still being snowed in is that I get to spend more time with Sarah. We’re stuck in a bubble, a fantasy that would never happen in normal life, and if we’re stuck here together, we can keep doing this. I can keep pretending that I’m not hiding a terrible secret from her, and she can keep thinking I’m the perfect guy for her. Once we return to reality — even if she doesn’t find out the truth right away, or even ever — the fantasy will be shattered, and we’ll go back to life as usual where I don’t see her all the time.
At least, for now, I’m happy right where I am.
“Do you think we’ll have enough food to last us if we’re stuck here for longer?” Sarah asks, standing by the open fridge. Our supplies have dwindled a bit. I bought her a lot of things, but it was all with one person in mind, not two.
“I think we should be all right,” I say. “The forecast says it’s heating up a little, and I think in a day or two it will be warm enough for the snow to have melted.”
“I hope so. So far, everything has been great, and I don’t want us to get stuck with some kind of emergency.”
I nod. I know it will be all right.
“I’ll be happy when the snow melts,” Sarah says.
“Why?” I ask, walking closer to her. “Don’t you like being stuck here with me?”
She smiles when I’m right in front of her and put my hands on her arms.
“I do,” she says. “But I like having the choice to leave or stay. So that, you know, it’s my decision when I don’t leave the house.”
Her dark eyes are large and beautiful, and her little speech is cute. God, I’m really starting to like this woman. She makes me feel like there’s hope for a man like me, that I could find real love after all. I didn’t think it was out there for me, not after getting my heart shattered into a million pieces. Now, I’m starting to see things differently.
“I’m glad you feel that way,” I say, stepping even closer to her so that my body is pressed against hers. I put my finger under her chin and tip her head up. “Because I feel the same.”
I lower my lips to hers and kiss her. She sighs when our lips make contact, and she melts against my body. I want to take her again, right now. I want to get her naked and underneath me. I want to be inside of her. But I am determined to take it slowly with her. I settle for holding her against my body and kissing her.
I’ve been with a lot of women, fucking whoever was willing so that I could take the edge off and find a quick release. It was easy — there are so many women out there — and I was starting to think that decent women just don’t exist. Not if there were so many of them who were willing to have a one-night stand. I was willing to take what they offered, of course, but for the long haul? I was quite happy being alone.
Since Sarah came along, I started thinking about long term again, about being with someone and getting serious. I never thought I was lonely, but I’m starting to think now that I was. I was just so good at hiding it that it didn’t matter. But with Sarah, I feel like I don’t want to be good at it anymore. I want to try something different, something new.
Because when I’m kissing her, when I’m holding her, I’m home.
Chapter 23
Sarah
If you asked me last month how I pictured my year ending, I would have said that I would be with my family for Christmas, spending my days off from work doing art and other creative things at home and entering the new year with a bang. That was how it was every year for as long as I’ve been working.
Now, everything is different. I never imagined I wouldn’t be living in my house anymore, that I would have been evicted before Christmas. It’s an awful thing. So awful, I never even considered it to be possible because it’s such an unimaginable thing.
But that happened. And now, I’m here in a cabin just outside town with nowhere to go once I’ve worn out my welcome here.
I also never would have thought I’d be snowed in, let alone with a man who is very quickly proving to be the man of my dreams. If this cabin were in the mountains, it would make sense that being snowed in is a possibility, but this place is so close to town that even Graham didn’t expect it, and he owns the place.
Still, I don’t mind. I like being with Graham. I enjoy spending my time with him, getting to know him, and he treats me like I’m the most important thing in his life right now. Of course, with us being stuck here, there’s nothing else that can take precedent, and I know it’s an illusion of sorts, but I’m enjoying it. I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts.
Graham and I have only just started seeing each other, but I’m starting to think that I want to be with him. That’s a big deal. I don’t just jump into relationships like this, and I met him such a short while ago. But what is it they say? Wh
en you know, you know. And I think I know.
Of course, I’m not just going to jump into all sorts of fantasies about white weddings or anything, but I want to take this further with him and see where it goes.
“What do you want to do?” Graham asks me after we make out for a while.
“Well, seeing that it’s Christmas, maybe we should finish off those Christmas movies.”
“You’re on,” Graham says, and he puts in Arthur Christmas for us — one of the newest moves in the pile.
“I love this one,” I say. “So does Lindsay.”
Graham sits down next to me on the couch, and I snuggle up to him the way I’ve been doing every time we watch something.
“I don’t know if my nieces and nephew have seen it,” Graham says. “Do you mind if I take it with me when I go see them?”
I blink up at him. “Of course. This place and everything in it is yours.”
Graham shrugs, and we turn our attention to the movie.
After the movie, Graham and I make a late lunch. We have leftover food after our dinner last night — there is a dish of mashed potatoes still in the fridge — and Graham finds a packet of ham that he bought, and we’d previously overlooked. He makes us ham and mashed potato sandwiches, which I’d never previously had.
“This is surprisingly good,” I say.
“You’ve never had this before?” Graham asks.
I shake my head, chewing.
“Well, it’s better with Christmas ham and not the processed sandwich stuff. I’ll make it for you next year.”
I like that he says that. He’s looking a year into the future, and he sees me in the picture. Of course, anything can happen between then and now, but I let myself entertain the thought.
After lunch, we play Clue. When I look out of the window, snow has started falling again.
“Oh no,” I say.
“I think it will be okay,” Graham says. “It’s just a few flakes.”
I nod and try to focus on the game. We talk about life while we play, which means that we barely play because you have to concentrate to play Clue.
“What was life like for you and Britney growing up?” I ask Graham. “You’ve only told me about your Christmases.”
Graham shrugs. We don’t often talk about the serious things, but we’ve spent enough time together that it’s starting to feel like we can.
“My parents died when Britney and I were quite young. My maternal grandparents took us in and raised us. They were kind people, putting their lives on hold to raise us, but we were never close to them the way we were with our parents.”
I nod. My heart aches for him. “That must have been so hard,” I say.
Graham shrugs. He’s a man who doesn’t want to show emotions, but I can see that it’s a tough topic for him. “You get used to it, I guess. It was the hand life dealt us. My grandparents passed away, one shortly after the other when I was fresh out of college. Since then, it’s just been Britney and me. All we have is each other. Sometimes, I think that’s why James happened.”
“Is that her husband?” I ask.
Graham looks at me, and his face changes. I can’t read his expression, but it’s clear he doesn’t want to tell me more. I don’t blame him. After everything they’ve been through, I would want to focus on only the good things, too.
“What about you?” Graham asks. “It’s your turn.”
“My childhood was nothing special. Compared to yours, it was quite tame. Monica and I grew up in a normal family, with a mom who was too soft and a dad who filled in the gaps. I love my sister, and I’m close to both my parents. The only thing that didn’t go according to plan in our cut-and-paste lives is that I didn’t marry and have babies right away, like Monica did.”
Graham grins. “And thank God for that, or none of this would have happened.”
I smile at him, my cheeks burning again. I always blush when he talks to me like that. How embarrassing.
“Our lives are complete opposites, though,” I say. “We grew up in such different circumstances.”
Graham nods. “You’re right. But opposites attract.”
He’s got that look in his eyes again — the look that makes me think he’s thinking back to when we had sex — and I blush even harder. I think about that often. I don’t know if it’s going to happen again. I don’t think Graham regrets it. He kisses me more now and holds me just for the sake of holding me. But despite being stuck in such close quarters all the time, he’s making a point of taking it slow. A part of me is grateful, of course.
And a part of me wants to scream because I want it to be wild and carefree. But taking it slow is the better option, of course. So, we still sleep in separate rooms, and we spend most of our time as friends, not lovers.
That Graham is also serious about taking it slow is a good sign. It means he’s serious about me. I don’t get the feeling he’s just messing around with me or leading me to believe something that’s not true. For the first time, I feel like I have met a man who doesn’t have ulterior motives, that will be upfront with me no matter what.
How did it happen that the perfect guy for me was next door at first and now stuck in a cabin with me? I’ve always believed in fate, but this is just strengthening my belief that this was meant to be.
People often say that if something seems too good to be true, it is. Well, I disagree. Because everything about Graham seems perfect.
Chapter 24
Graham
On Wednesday morning, the snow has stopped again, and I’m relieved. It wasn’t a heavy snowfall, but I was still worried that it would affect our stay. The weather has warmed, though, and when I check the weather report, they confirm that it’s warming up.
When we sit down to lunch, we discuss our options.
“I think we’ll be able to leave by tomorrow,” I say. “I checked the car earlier, and it’s gone down quite a bit, despite last night’s snow.
“That’s great,” Sarah says. “What do you think the odds are that just as I leave, there’s more snow, and then I can’t come back?”
I didn’t even think about that. “I don’t think there will be another storm like this one, but if that’s the case, you said you’ll be able to stay on Monica’s couch for a night or two?”
Sarah nods. I would offer for her to come stay at my place if that’s the case, but I don’t want her near my house. I don’t want her finding out what’s going on.
“I think we should give it a shot. I’ll drop you off at your sister’s.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Sarah says. “My car is here. I can drive.”
I shake my head. “You don’t have snow tires on. I don’t think it’s safe driving around when there’s this much snow on the ground.”
Sarah rolls her eyes, but I’m not going to budge on this one. I haven’t told her yet that my parents died in a car accident when they slipped on an icy road and ran into a tree. I don’t want her to drive when she doesn’t take the necessary precautions for this time of year.
“I’ll drop you off at Monica’s place, like I said, and pick you up again when you’re ready to come back here.”
Sarah sighs. “At least, let my sister drop me off at your place, then. She has her tires on and everything, before you go there.”
I shake my head. “I’ll pick you up. I don’t want your sister going out of her way because I’m fussy about the tires and not letting you drive.”
Sarah shrugs, and I can see she’s irritated, but I won’t budge on driving her. The bit about me not wanting Monica to go out of her way is not true at all. I won’t mind Monica going out of her way, but I want to make sure that Sarah stays far away from her old place. At least, until I tell her who I am and what I’ve done.
I don’t know when I’ll stop being a coward and just do it, but until then, I want to make sure she doesn’t figure it out by herself. I can’t think of anything worse than her hearing it from someone else that I’m the person who kicked her
out of her place just before Christmas. Evicting Sarah was already terrible, but to do it at this time of year was a million times worse. Somehow, I wish that James had gotten himself arrested in the middle of the year or something so that what I did was only half as bad.
“Okay, I guess I have no way around this,” Sarah finally says, and I’m relieved she agrees.
“The snow won’t be a problem for much longer,” I say.
“It’s going to keep up like this until spring,” she points out.
I nod. This is true. “We’ll just have to make sure you’ve got your tires taken care of soon, then. Until then, I don’t want you driving around.”
“So, you’re going to chauffeur me all the time?”
“At least until the snow isn’t so thick.”
I know it sounds ridiculous. I sound paranoid. And I am, just not about snow tires. Not the way that I’m paranoid about Sarah finding out my secret. The moment we leave this cabin, her chances of figuring it out increase. I know I must tell her, soon, but not until after Christmas — real or postponed — and everything has settled.
“Are you okay?” Sarah asks. “You seem tense.”
“I’m fine,” I lie. I’m not fine at all. My stomach tightens into a fist of nerves, and I feel sick.
“I’m just worried about my sister.” God, the lies just don’t stop, do they? At least, it’s not false.
“I thought she was all right, now?” Sarah asks.
I shrug. “The problems weren’t on the forefront, if I can put it that way, but the justice system will take its toll soon.”
Sarah frowns. “The justice system? That sounds serious. I thought it was just a fight between husband and wife.”
I sigh. Every now and then, I say too much. I try to avoid one topic, and then I slip up on the other.
“It’s a little complicated,” I say. I don’t want Sarah to know more. I don’t want her to know that sometimes I think maybe Britney’s situation with James is my fault because she didn’t have anyone she could turn to. Mom and Dad were dead, our grandparents had just passed away, and I was trying so hard to keep my head above water in my own life that I didn’t pay enough attention to Britney’s to be able to see she was heading for trouble.
