by Cat Kalen
I look at the puncture wound and watch the flesh around the opening turn black, and there is nothing I can do to stop the bleeding, nothing I can do to put him back together again. I go down on my knees and put my face close to his.
“Papa!” I cry frantically.
“Pride,” he says, and his voice is so low and so strained I can barely hear him.
“Papa, please…”
“I never meant to hurt you,” he says.
“I know,” I manage past the lump in my throat. And I really do know. He only ever meant to protect me and he did it the best way he knew how.
His tongue flicks out to wet his mouth and I can tell he’s losing his fight to speak. “I hope someday you’ll forgive me,” he murmurs.
“I do,” I say, and think about how Logan once told me that someday soon I’d learn all about forgiveness, because forgiveness is about love, and this man really does love me. “I do forgive you. Please, don’t die. You can’t leave me. Not now.”
“I have to go Pride. I’ve had to go for quite some time now. I’m just glad I got to know you first.” As soon as the words leave his mouth understanding rolls through me.
He’s dying.
The foul smell I’ve noticed coming from his breath is the scent of death. Since I’ve been imprisoned my whole life, I’ve never known an animal to die of old age or natural causes before and had no way to identify the sour aroma. But Logan knew, and he wanted to protect me from it for as long as he could.
“I forgive you, Papa,” I say again, and when I put my hand over his, all the answers fall into place. Staring down the face of death is what prompted him to change his life around. It made him want to right all his wrongs.
“I’m going to go be with your mother now,” he says, and attempts a smile before saying, “I hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me, too.” With that he exhales his very last breath and my heart clenches so hard, the pain cuts through my body like a serrated knife.
When I feel the life leave him as he returns to his human form, a sob crawls out of my throat and reverberates off the mountain. Through watery eyes I look beyond the gate to see Logan rushing toward me. He sidesteps all the dead strays and his feet turn red as they sink into the blood-soaked grass.
“Pride,” he says and comes closer, the look in his pewter eyes sad, mournful.
But seconds before he reaches the gate, a vicious stray jumps from behind me and clamps down on his jugular.
Logan puts up a hard fight but there isn’t much he can do as the stray gives a savage shake of its head and tears into his throat. I can hear the cords on his neck popping and as sharp canines sink in deeper, Logan’s powerful, sleek body drops to the ground. He returns to his human form and the warm scent of fresh blood sprays my face and fills the night air.
“No!”
It takes less than a split second for me to understand the boy I mated with is going to die if I don’t do something. As that reality hits, I let my animal off her leash. I might not be an assassin any longer, but my animal knows what she has to do.
Before anyone can react, I jump the fence and rush the powerful stray, and when it turns its sharp teeth on me and bites through my shoulder a scream lodges in my throat. With everything happening so fast, my brain can barely keep up. I feel like a bystander watching my animal as she lets her rage power her attack and knock the stray clear off Logan’s body.
The stray flies backward, and I immediately do the one thing Logan asked me not to. I purposely position myself between Logan and the stray, putting myself in the direct line of fire.
The stray hisses at me, and knowing I have to call on everything Logan taught me about survival, I face this instinct-driven species using both my heart and my head. I taunt it, pretending it’s no threat by going down on my knees, my look unworried.
Reacting like I knew it would, it pounces and flies through the air at me, and because my animal is small she’s able to slide under its airborne body, and the stray slams to the ground behind me.
I catch Stone rushing my way, but knowing this is my fight, I spin around before he can reach me, before the stray can gain purchase. With all my strength, I grab its head and rip it clear off its shoulders.
When its body goes limp, no longer able to hurt the boy I mated with, I hear someone shout, “Stop!”
Chapter Thirteen
“Stop!”
When that one word rings in my ears, my animal registers the meaning and I glance up to see a boy coming close. From his thick, dark hair and rich cognac coloring, I know he’s a stray.
I growl low and prepare to make short work of him so I can attend to Logan, knowing he’s going to die on me if I don’t, but Gem jumps up from her crouched position near the house. She yells at me but with my animal in kill mode, I give a savage shake of my head to warn her away.
“No, Pride. This is the boy who helped me,” she says, and quickly turns back to her human form. That’s when I see Officer Sanford coming from around the house and watch Malcolm and the others climb to their feet, their collars now deactivated. I exchange a look with Officer Sanford, and when I meet his eyes, I know the handler, and every stray except the one standing next to Gem is dead.
With that I turn my back to the crowd and crawl toward Logan, my heart aching painfully as I stop shading.
“Please, Logan!” I cry, unable to keep the desperation from my voice. “You have to shade and heal yourself. I can’t lose you. I can’t.” But as I plead with him, I wonder if he’s too far gone, too weak to shade.
After a long agonizing moment, his eyes flicker open, and his breath is labored when he says, “You broke your promise.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, trying to keep the panic at bay as I watch blood gush from his neck. I put my hand over the wound, but there is nothing I can do to seal the gash.
“You said you wouldn’t put yourself in danger because of me.”
“Logan!” I cry out. “You know I’m not about to stand by and watch you die.”
He nudges me with his chin and beautiful blue eyes narrow as his voice goes serious. “But you promised, and mates aren’t supposed to lie to each other, Pride.”
I gulp air as his gaze moves over mine, and I don’t miss the way he calls us mates, don’t miss the implication in what he’s saying, what he’s asking.
“Please Logan, you have to shade. I need you.”
“I know you need me, Pride. I need you, too. But the thing is, I don’t just want to be the one you need, I want to be the one you want.”
I exhale a long, slow breath as he uses my father’s words, and with my emotions in complete turmoil I can’t stop myself from blurting out, “Logan, you are the one I want. I told you that when you came to me in the shower earlier. You’re the one I’ve always wanted and always needed. Don’t you see, it’s always been you? Always.”
“Pride,” he says, his voice going weaker. “I love you.”
The world around me fades in and out. I’m losing him. I’m losing my mate and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. “Logan no!” I cry out, and press my lips to his. “You can’t leave me. I love you.”
As the three little words he’s been waiting so long to hear leave my mouth, I feel a shift in him. Hope wells up inside me as he sucks in a sharp breath, struggling to live. “I love you, Logan,” I say again. I scan his face, willing him to come back to me.
A split second later, Logan lets loose a loud growl and shades, and as I watch the wound on his neck heal, I realize the stray only grazed his jugular and I wail with relief. Ignoring those around us we cling to each other like our lives depend on it, and this time, I know they do. The voices in the courtyard fade to a distant buzz as we hold each other, drawing strength, courage and love from our tight embrace.
His scent seeps under my skin and pulls a howl from my animal. I grip him harder, my fingernails biting into his skin while tears spill down my face. We stay like that for an endless moment and I let my anim
al take comfort in his protective arms, let her give herself over to this boy completely, body, heart, and soul.
After a long while, Logan pushes my hair off my face and says, “It’s going to be okay, Pride. It’s all over.”
Gem steps up to us and hands us our clothes. Logan and I stay close, our bodies constantly touching as we dress, and while I feel Stone surfing the outer edges of my thoughts, I can’t quite bring myself to look at him or deal with his emotions when mine are so out of control.
In need of a distraction while I get myself in check, I drag my shirt over my head and turn to take one last glance at the body of my father.
He knew I had to go down a dark, dangerous road before figuring out I could never change mankind. Our species will always be hunted. The best we can do in this harsh world is to find a way to survive and work to define our normal.
Officer Sanford needs our help to determine which shaders are rogues and which can be saved. Logan might have just told me it was over, but I know it will never be over. Not for me.
It’s true that I want to stop fighting, especially since someday I might want to start a family with Logan, but how can I walk away from this war? How can I turn my back on those that need me? As soon as that thought enters my head, Stone steps up to me.
“Pride,” he says, and there is nothing he can do to mask his emotions from me.
I look into his tortured eyes, hating how lost he is, and when I think about what he heard me say to Logan, and think about how much that must have hurt him, sadness swells in my chest, squeezing to the point of pain.
“Stone,” I choke out, having no idea where to begin. I reach out to him, expecting to find anger and sorrow, but the strange, unfamiliar energy I discover instead catches me off guard and has my animal wailing.
Intense eyes full of deep understanding watch me for a long time and I feel him in my head soothing my worries before he finally breaks the mounting tension and announces, “It is over for you, Pride. It’s time for you to walk away from this.”
“What are you talking about?”
He briefly looks at Logan. “You’ve found your path, and now it’s my turn to find mine.”
My throat aches painfully as heartache sets my chest on fire and that’s when I realize he’d been in my head earlier, and knew my choice long before this moment.
“Stone—”
“Your fight is over, Pride. I want you to travel to the Jasper Mountains with Logan and his family so you can make the home you always wanted. I want you to live a normal life.”
“Stone, no!” I cry out.
He steps closer, his heat reaching out to me. “No, Pride. It’s what I want for you. All I ever wanted was to keep you safe, you know that. And the only way I can ensure you remain unharmed is if I hit the streets with Sanford. That way I can protect you from the outside.”
“What are you saying?” I ask, my rattled brain racing to catch up.
“I’m going to help him rescue kids like Blaze.” I stare at him and that’s when I know why he blocked a portion of his thoughts from me. He knew how this was going to end, knew I wasn’t going to like the dangerous path he’s chosen.
But how can I stop him when he’s so desperately trying to find his way? I swallow, and when I think about his strength of character, the incredible kindness inside him, my words lodge in my throat.
“Besides, Nova is still out there, and I can’t take the chance she’ll come after you.”
I open my mouth, but he cuts me off and says, “I won’t kill her.” He shrugs, “I guess on some twisted level I can understand why she did what she did. Love really can make a person crazy.” He pauses, then adds, “I think she’s trying to find her way every bit as much as I am and you never know, if I do come across her, maybe I can convince her to hunt with me.”
I grip his shirt and hold him tight, hardly able to believe what he’s saying, hardly able to believe he’s no longer going to be in my life.
His face softens and he brushes his finger over my cheek. He stares at me for a long time before saying, “I once told you that I could never let you walk away from me again, that it would kill me. But I want you to know I’m going to be okay, because this time, Pride, I’m walking away from you.”
A cry lodges in my throat. My father knew. He knew what he was doing when he matched Stone and the former PTF officer. He knew all along where I belonged, and knew those two had a greater purpose. He was forging alliances, building trust and bonds, because my future and the future of our kind depend on them.
Stone turns to Logan. “I was wrong about you,” he says. “You’re more than capable of taking care of her.” His eyes flicker to Gem. “And everyone else.” As I watch him, watch the hate leave his eyes, I understand how heroic and courageous he really is. When a small strained smile turns up the corner of his mouth, I know an uneasy truce has been made between the two most amazing guys in my life.
My throat closes over, tears spilling harder now.
Stone turns back to me, his dark eyes swimming with raw emotions. “If it were anyone else, I’d never let you go, Pride.”
I choke and cling to him. Stone holds me for a moment, then grips my shoulders. He eases back, and I feel Logan’s strong arm slip around my waist.
The two alphas stand eye to eye, then Stone puts his hand on Logan’s shoulder. As they stare at each other Stone says, “Take good care of her.”
Logan places his hand on Stone’s shoulder. “You know I will.”
With that Stone backs up and gives a slow nod. “I do.”
“Take care of yourself, Stone.”
Stone’s glance goes from Logan to me and he says, “Take care of each other.” He turns back to Logan. “Sanford and I will take care of this mess.”
With that he turns from us and I stare at his retreating back as he walks toward Officer Sanford. My heart lurches while I watch him go. I reach out to him mentally, to say one last good-bye. To say what I should have said to him a long time ago. Thank you.
“Stone!” I yell, and run toward him.
His movements still and he angles his head unnaturally, but when my call to him goes unanswered, I suck in a sharp breath and wonder what’s going on.
“Stone!” I cry again, almost frantic as I search for him in the dark.
“Hey,” I hear, and I spin so fast I nearly lose my balance.
“Logan?”
His smile is slow, and the warmth in his eyes runs so deep it washes over my soul and brings a new kind of heat to my body. “Yeah, Pride. It’s me.”
“Logan,” I say, my heart racing in confusion. “You’re in my head. How? Why?”
But then I remember what my father once said. Sometimes bonds are tested, broken even. And it’s only then that new, deeper connections can be made.
“Come here,” he says.
I rush to him and he circles his hands around my waist to lift me clear off the ground. Warm lips settle over mine and he whispers into my mouth. “It’s time for us to go find our life, Pride. Your fight is over.”
Chapter Fourteen
Sheer exhaustion takes hold and my lids fight to close as Logan drives the overstuffed SUV back to my father’s house. From the passenger seat I angle my head to see him, and when he offers me a warm smile full of love and kindness, my heart squeezes in my chest.
He holds my hand and I blink to keep my eyes open as I listen to Malcolm question the stray named Leo that once spared Gem. When I learn of the atrocities committed against their kind, I understand that when it comes right down to it, these strays are just as innocent in all this as we are—used as pawns in a world where greed rules.
The boy goes on to explain that he wasn’t from the primitive village where the other strays had come from. He’d merely been captured in the crossfire. And unlike his family in the African jungle, where the human part of them knows the difference between right and wrong, there are still many colonies out there that run on pure instinct. Just like there are some shaders
out there who always let their primal side rule.
He has no idea how they were first found and recognized as a killer species by men in America, and he doesn’t suppose he’ll ever know. All he knows is he wants to keep the others in his species safe, and the best way he knows how is by staying on American soil and stopping the hunters before they set out to trap another.
As I think about that, and all that has happened over the last month, my lids slip shut. With Logan beside me, keeping watch over me, I allow myself to drift off until we reach my father’s estate.
Once we’re sure there are no other strays stalking the compound, we make our way up the winding path. With the plan to spend one more night here to rest up before we take off to Richmond’s Village in the Jasper Mountains, we all climb from the car. Once inside the house, I talk quietly to the guards about my father as everyone makes their way to their rooms.
After speaking with the guards I walk to the kitchen while the others prepare for bed. That’s when I see a manila envelope on the table, addressed to me.
My pulse leaps as I pick it up. I carefully peel it open and when I glance inside to see a stack of pictures, emotions bombard me, because deep in my heart I know. I know my father left this because he never expected to come back.
Logan steps up behind me, “You okay?”
“I’m okay,” I answer, and while I can’t bear to look at the photos, there is a part of me that takes great comfort in knowing my father was watching over me all these years, the best way he knew how.
I draw in a breath, and when I pull in the estate’s aroma and a different, yet familiar scent fills my senses, a new calmness comes over me. As Logan stands with his chest to my back, and my skin begins to prickle, I know my fight is not quite over.
I put the envelope down and turn to Logan. “I need to be alone for a minute, okay?” While it’s not a lie, it’s not entirely true either. But I need him to walk away, because the fight I’m about to face is my fight and mine alone.
Logan hesitates for a moment, and I feel tension ripple through his body. “Okay,” he says, and when he steps away, a chill moves through me, partly from the loss of his heat, and partly from the scent that is souring my stomach.
