by Emrys Apollo
“I want to make you feel good,” Roy whispers, sweat shining on his brow. He keeps one hand wrapped around the jut of Lucas’ hip, reaches up to run his thumb along his lower lip.
“You do,” Lucas gasps, mouthing a kiss to the pad of his thumb, resting his cheek in the palm of Roy's hand.
“God, I want to,” Roy breathes, pulling Lucas down and wrenching a moan out of him.
And this may be the last time, Lucas thinks, as Roy reaches down to take him in hand. The last time he gets this, this feeling that lights him up and tears him down and builds him back up again. The comfort in Roy's hands, the possessive way he holds him, like he'd take up arms against anyone else to try and touch him like this.
“Roy,” Lucas breathes, moving faster now as Roy fucks up into him. He leans forward, pressing his forehead to Roy's temple, both of them breathing in time, gasping, gasping and his voice gives out as he comes. His mouth drops open as his movements go jerky, and Roy follows quick with a strangled gasp.
The air around them is a vacuum and all Lucas knows is Roy - he'd do anything to be his, to claim him as his own. He lays down and takes Lucas with him but doesn't pull out just yet, like he can feel the tremors that would come with the action, the finality of it.
Lucas closes his eyes and listens to Roy's heart beat, rattling but slowing down now. “I love you,” Lucas whispers. He hears the words and doesn't regret them, and sends them into the hollow of Roy's chest again. “I love you, I love you.”
“Lucas - “ Roy says, reaching up with his clean hand to card through sweat-drenched curls.
“I love you, Roy,” Lucas says, more conviction this time.
Roy sits up with that, helps Lucas slide off and ease back down onto the bed. A smile spreads across his face and he shakes his head, running tentative fingers up Lucas’ side. “You do?”
“I do,” Lucas says, his voice breaking. He knows the tears are gathering around the rims of his eyes but he doesn't care, not one bit.
Roy laughs, a little breathless, and leans in to press a firm kiss to Lucas’ lips. “I love you, too, baby,” he whispers. “I thought I was losing it, but you - “
“I do,” Lucas says, and finds himself smiling, too. “I love you.”
***
***
Roy leans in, rustling the sheets only slightly, and presses their lips together. “Lucas,” he whispers, his heart beating so loud that he's sure the whole hotel can hear it. “Lucas, wake up.” He ruffles his hair, kisses him again.
“Mmm,” Lucas hums, scooting forward in his arms.
“Listen to me, you awake?” Roy kisses both of his eyes, earning a laugh in response.
“I'm awake, I'm awake,” Lucas says, clearing his throat.
“I want to take you home with me,” Roy says.
Lucas watches him from under heavy lids, but doesn't say a word.
Roy searches his face and sits up, crossing his legs and gripping his knees. “I didn't think this would happen, you know, when I got here and decided I wanted some company. But it did, it hit me like a ton of bricks.” He looks down and chuckles nervously, watches a trace of a smile sneak its way onto Lucas’ face. “And I’m not letting anyone touch you again. I’m not letting anybody touch you but me.”
He draws in a breath and looks down at his hands. He thinks about everything Lucas told him, all the pain he's put himself through. He's given up his own agency, his own choices. His entire life.
Roy gets up off the bed and starts pacing around the room. “I want you to be able to decide what you want to do. What you want for breakfast, what kind of job you want. What kind of sheets you want on your bed and who you want to go to bed with.” He plants his hands on his hips and stops dead in his tracks. He watches Lucas watching him, not saying anything, and it scares him half to death.
“You say you love me. I love you, too. I want to know everything about you. I got a real nice house, got a couple porches, got a nice view and nice trees - shit, you could paint the trees, outside, they're real nice.” He nods, swallowing thick. “There's plenty of space for you, got an extra car, it could easily be yours. I can see you there, Lucas, I can see you there with me.” He looks at him again, thinks maybe he heard him say something but he's lying still, one arm propped up behind him, the slightest smile still hanging on his lips.
“It's whatever you want, Lucas. But either way, I'm going down there today and throwing whatever amount of money they want at them, anything to let you go. I'm going to pick up anything that means anything to you...” Roy chews on the inside of his cheek and widens his eyes, knows he's babbling but he feels like he's proposing marriage and dropping the ring down into the gutter. “I want you to be with me, but if you don't want to - “
“There's nothing I want more,” Lucas says, nodding his head.
Roy stares at him for a second and then nearly collapses, stepping forward to brace his hands on the edge of the bed. “Really?” he asks, looking up at him.
“Yes, really,” Lucas says, crawling forward to cup his face in his hands. “God, yes, I'll go with you.”
“Fuck,” Roy breathes, shaking his head. He slides in next to him, bringing their mouths together. “You're going to love it, I promise.”
“You're going to go down there?” Lucas asks, when they break apart. “I want to - “
“I don't want you going with me,” Roy says, looking him in the eye. He stands up and heads over to the dresser, pulling out a pair of pants. He steps into them, pulling them over his hips. “Know you got security, might try and start shit if you're there.”
“You’re not going by yourself,” Lucas says, hanging his legs over the edge of the bed.
“I am,” Roy says, looking over his shoulder as he heads over to the closet, picking out a shirt and tie. “They won't do anything to me, especially with what I'm going to be offering.”
“Don't bankrupt yourself over me, huh?” Lucas says, leaning back on his elbows.
“Whatever it takes,” Roy says, grinning.
Lucas sighs, watching him get dressed. “I don't like this, Roy. Seen guys get thrown out of there with their heads bashed in.”
“I'll let Tania know where I am, she'll keep my people notified and I'll have her come over here to keep you company.”
Lucas looks down at his feet, thinks about Roy bloody and broken, that nice blue suit ripped and wet on the street.
“Hey,” Roy says, walking over to drop a kiss to the top of Lucas’ head. “I can take care of myself, and I want you safe.”
“I want you safe, too,” Lucas says, looking up at him.
“You're going to love the house,” Roy says, running a hand down Lucas’ cheek.
Would love any place where you are, Lucas thinks, watching him adjust his tie.
***
He's anxious in the elevator but he's alone the whole time, nods at the security guard on his way out. He thinks about calling Tania, getting a car to drive him over, but he doesn't want to put anyone else in danger. He steps outside, starts crossing the street and heading towards the company building. Roy's been gone for about twenty minutes. Lucas tries to imagine what he's doing right now - he has to be there already, he still can't be driving -
There's a car wheeling around the corner and Lucas catches sight of it, the white SUV he's seen before outside Callister's home and he's about to run, about to take off because he can't deal with them now, he has to get to Roy and he throws a punch when he sees one, misses and stumbles forward. There's a cloth over his mouth and nose, chloroform maybe? He can’t be sure…
The last thing he thinks before he passes out
Roy, Roy…
***
They’re kicking him for what feels like hours when suddenly, the door is opening, creaking open and his heart rages in his chest, threatens to give out if he lets Callister hurt him again, and he closes his eyes and tunes it all out, the door the footsteps the yelling his blood coursing and pumping in his veins and he imagines Roy, Roy
's hands and smile, both of them in Louisiana, on the porch looking at the trees -
“Lucas.”
He flinches when two hands cup his face.
“Baby, open your eyes. Baby, it's me.”
Lucas thinks he could be hallucinating him, but he's never seen Roy look like this, and his hands feel the same, thumbs running across his cheekbones and making tracks in the blood.
“Lucas, I'm here,” Roy breathes. He looks around and Lucas follows his gaze - Callister's men are knocked out cold, and there's an abandoned pipe laying a few feet away. “Tania,” Roy calls, kneeling down to start undoing the ropes around Lucas’ ankles. “He's handcuffed - I need the key, help me find it.”
“I don't see anything - “ she calls back.
Lucas hears them both rustling around and his head pulses, feels like something is burrowing deep in his brain. He closes his eyes, tries to focus on Roy's hand on him. “Callister..” he whispers.
“Is he here?” Roy asks, kneeling down in front of him.
Lucas tries to shake his head, but he's not sure if he's actually doing it.
“Baby, is he here? Is he coming?” Roy rubs circles in his knee, doesn't seem to care about the puke there, the blood turning dark in the denim. “Tania! I need the key, we need to get him out of here.”
“Cops are coming, Roy, don't worry.”
She sounds so far away. He feels like he can hear Roy's heart beating, sees him disappear behind him and run shaking fingers over the handcuffs.
“Got it!” Tania yells.
Lucas sees her run up to Roy's side, and then they're uncuffing him and easing him out of the chair. It's like his head is holding on by a thread and it lulls around until Roy pulls him into his arms, propping it up in the crook of his elbow.
“Is he here?” Roy whispers, caressing Lucas’ face.
“No,” Lucas gets out. “I think he was.”
“I've got you,” Roy whispers. “You're going to be alright.” He runs his fingers over the red flaring up on Lucas’ wrists, tries to ease the feeling back into them.
Roy pulls him closer. “You're with me now, you are, you're going to be - Lucas, hey. Hey look at me.” He jars Lucas’ face a little, wiping some of the blood from his lips. “I love you, alright?”
The words taste like red wine, the last bit of melting ice, red earth clay beneath his bare feet. He reaches up and tries to grasp at Roy, tries to hold onto him but he's fading, his limbs like jelly. Roy grabs his hand, holds it to his chest.
“Lucas. Lucas, open your eyes. Open your eyes.”
“I love you,” Lucas says. Roy's hand on his hand, Roy's heart still beating.
“Lucas. Lucas! Look at me! Baby, look at me.” He lets his hand drop and he's trembling, so scared. “Tania! Tania, help me!”
Lucas hears her heels clapping over, hears Roy telling him to wake up, and then hears nothing at all.
***
The first thing he sees are the stars. It's dark but there's a reddish hue to the sky, like someone might have set it on fire a couple hours before and it's only now simmering down. His whole body feels broken, muscles pulled taut and something sharp and tight in his chest whenever he breathes.
He turns to his right and Roy's there, slumped over and snoring, his face pressed into the sheets by Lucas’ arm. Lucas is overjoyed for a moment and closes his eyes tight. He braces himself, lest he be met with an empty room when he opens them, but Roy is still there when he does. He stirs, like their hearts really do beat in time now, and his eyes widen when he sees Lucas is awake.
“Hey,” he says, his voice cracking as he straightens up, taking Lucas’ hand in his own. “Hey, how're you feeling?”
Lucas nods and coughs a bit, wincing when he jars what has to be a couple broken ribs.
“What do you need, Lucas?” Roy asks, eyes full of worry. “You need some water? You want me to get the nurse? Tell me.”
“Got what I need right here,” Lucas croaks, nodding towards him.
Roy's face crumples a bit, and he leans forward to press a kiss to Lucas’ forehead before settling back down in his chair. He pulls it as close as he can and sighs, holding Lucas’ hand between both of his own. His eyes go a little glassy as he sits there and breathes, and finally he looks up at Lucas’ face again. “Told you I would protect you, and look what happened.”
“Freak accident,” Lucas says, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Not your fault.”
“I should have been there,” Roy whispers, hanging his head.
“There’s no way you could have known,” Lucas says quickly, squeezing his hand. “How'd you find me?”
“Tania saw it, when they took you,” Roy says, brushing his lips against Lucas’ knuckles. “I was walking up to the hotel right when it happened. I lost you for a bit but she found you again, then I met up with her. Gave them what they deserved. I should have killed them.”
Lucas is glad he didn't. He doesn't want to think of Roy on trial, Roy in jail. “Callister?” he asks.
“Never showed up,” Roy says. “Maybe he saw the cop cars and the ambulance and took off. They're looking for him, though. The idiot took you to his house.”
Lucas snorts, and then closes his eyes tight.
Roy presses his lips to Lucas’ palm. “We're leaving, soon as they let you out. We're going home, to Louisiana. You still want to go?”
“Yes,” Lucas says, reaching his fingers out to run through Roy's hair. “You still want me?”
“I'll want you till we're old and grey and I've got to take a little blue pill to get it up.” Roy snorts and stands up, brushing his hand over Lucas’ forehead. “I love you,” he whispers, bringing their lips together. “We're going to go home.”
-
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