I sink deeper into the chair. Do you love him, Varna, or is it just desire?
So much desire. Just thinking about him makes my entire body flush. Yet when I recall what the mirror showed me—those images of terror and destruction—I go cold.
I rise to my feet and cross to the fireplace. Flicking my wrist, I set the half-burnt logs ablaze. I grip the marble mantle with one hand and lean forward, staring into the flames.
I do love him, and yet ...It is not the love I ever expected, or imagined. I always thought I might, through some miracle, find a gentle, warm, and comfortable love. Not this fierce attachment I do not understand. Not this fiery passion. I cannot deny my feelings, but all my logic fights against succumbing to something so challenging and conflicted.
I think of the simple, happy, times I have spent in my village, allowing myself to imagine my life with some ordinary young man. Someone like Erik. We would join our families for holiday meals, and have picnics by the river, and share a quiet, simple life ...
After a few minutes, I straighten and step away from the fireplace. It’s best to erase those images from my mind. I need to forget any laughter shared with friends. Bury all memories of Gerda, or our mother, or anything from the past.
Forget it all. Forget.
A warning tugs at my mind. Intruders. Sten cast an enchantment around the castle before he left, so I doubt anything can breech the outer walls. Yet something lingers out there, near the gates.
I run to the front doors, grabbing my hooded cloak and tossing it about my shoulders before I dash outside. With my new ability to cast fire and other magical skills, I’m not concerned about my safety. I’m more worried about someone finding this hidden castle and the mirror. Even though I no longer plan to destroy it, I don’t want it to fall into the hands of the emperor.
I splash through the puddles that riddle the courtyard. I don’t know why I feel such urgency, but something draws me forward.
I clap my hands and the gates swing open.
Drenched to the bone, their clothes plastered to their bodies and their boots sunk into the mud, Erik and Gerda stand before me.
I wait for a surge of joy, for love for them to flood my heart.
I feel nothing.
Their horses wait patiently behind them. I narrow my eyes. There are too many hoof prints stamped into the soggy soil of the path. “Where are the others?”
“Gone,” Erik says. “Off to carry news of this castle to those who need such information.”
“Varna?” Gerda stares at me, her blue eyes widening. “Is that really you?”
I throw back my hood, heedless of the rain. “Yes, it is.”
“No, it can’t be.” Erik steps forward, his gaze fastened on my face. “You are so changed.”
“Why not?” I toss my head. “Sten Rask released my full potential. I am not the girl you knew before.”
“I can see that.” Erik’s expression does not hold the admiration I expected.
He loves beauty, and I am gorgeous now. Yet he appears unmoved.
I turn on my heel and stalk toward the castle doors. “We should not talk out here. You’d better come with me.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I make sure Gerda and Erik are safely inside the courtyard before I sweep my arm, closing and locking the gates.
“You can work magic now?” Gerda runs to catch up. She circles in front of me, forcing me to pause.
“Yes. I possess powers, and grow stronger every day.”
Gerda holds out her arms. “Still, no hug for me? Is that another change—not caring about your family or friends anymore?”
I look her over, taking in her bedraggled condition—her clothes splotched with mud, her braids springing free of pins and flopping against her shoulders, and her face damp with rain.
Or tears. I straighten and brush past her. “Come inside. There’s a fire blazing in the drawing room.”
Their boots clomp against the floor of the hall. Closing the front doors with a wave of my hand, I march into the drawing room.
“Just drop those wet things in the hall. We can deal with them later.” I walk to the fireplace and push a couple of chairs closer to the blaze. “Now, come and sit. We’ll talk when you are more comfortable.”
I snap my fingers to draw up another chair. It’s not really necessary to use my powers for such a trivial task, but I can’t resist demonstrating my magical ability.
Erik crosses to one the chairs. He sits down and examines me with a critical gaze. “You seem to have settled in here quite cozily.”
“Of course. It is my home now.” I take the chair facing him.
“No, it isn’t.” Gerda stops in front of my chair and glares at me. “Your home is in our village, with me and Mother and the twins. This is some sorcerer’s lair. It cannot possibly be your home.”
“I am a sorceress now, so ... Please sit down, Gerda. I’m sure you’re tired after your journey.” I place my hands in my lap. “How did you find me? Did Sephia tell you where I was?”
Gerda sinks into the other chair. “No. She said we should leave you alone, that you had to make your own choices. But I had Bae follow her without her knowledge. He was able to lead us back here.”
Erik, who’s been looking around the room, stares at the mirror. “The damned mirror. I could smash it and be done with it.”
He attempts to stand but I hold up my hand and force him back into his seat. “You will never get close enough to do that.”
“Varna.” His freckles blaze against his pale cheeks as he studies me with that odd expression. So strange—it almost looks like disappointment.
Or despair.
He has not acknowledged your beauty, Varna. Not once. He seems blind to it, even though it drives other men to distraction.
I tap my foot against the hardwood floor. “I assume Thyra and Kai and Anders were in on this little mission as well?”
Erik stretches out his legs and leans back in the chair. “Yes, and Luki and Bae. They journeyed with us to the castle gates, but decided to travel on ahead to make sure we weren’t all captured. I planned to come alone, until Gerda insisted on accompanying me. She believed her presence would convince you to return with us. I thought it was a bad idea, but you know how Gerda is when she sets her mind on something.” He offers me a grin, but it fades as soon as I do not respond.
“It was a foolish gesture.”
Gerda slides to the front edge of her chair. “You’ve forgotten everything? Even those who love you? Even what day this is?”
“Day? Is today something special?”
“It’s your birthday. You’re nineteen now.”
I look away from her bright face. I had forgotten. All my days bleed together, and such ordinary events don’t seem significant.
“Still the same age as me,” Erik says. “I turned nineteen last week, although there was no time for celebration. We’ve been too busy trying to avert a catastrophe.”
I glance at him. “What catastrophe?”
“The Usurper obtaining the mirror, of course.”
I rise to my feet. “He will not.”
“Because Rask will not turn it over to him? Sorry, that is not good enough.” Erik jumps up and closes the short distance between us. He looms over me, his green eyes blazing. “The emperor has already amassed his battalions to storm this castle. Yes, he knows where it is. Apparently his sorceress is a bit cleverer than Rask. That’s why the others traveled ahead to alert our generals through Thyra’s contacts. Our army will arrive soon, and they will clash here, in a battle to determine the course of the war. You’ll be sitting in the middle of it. Is that what you want?” He kneels before me and clasps one of my hands. “If not for Gerda, or your other family, or your friends, come away for yourself. Please, Varna, save yourself.”
He bends his head over my hand. I long to smooth the flyaway strands of his red hair, almost as much as I want to pull him to his feet and force him to look at me, really look at me, and finally see m
e.
“You fools!”
I jerk up my head and glance toward the open doorway. Sten stares at our little tableau, his eyes bright and hard as ebony.
He storms into the room and yanks Erik to his feet. “Do you know what you have done? Condemned us all to death, you idiots.”
Erik shakes off Sten’s hand and faces him, feet planted apart, head high.
I must intervene. “Erik and Gerda have done nothing. They simply came to convince me to return home. I told them I was home, so that is that.”
Sten turns on me. “Varna, please stay out of this. I heard your friend talking about the emperor’s battalions and your country’s troops. Do you have any idea what that means?”
He softens his voice to speak to me, but anger still darkens his face. I tug on his sleeve. “Please, they have seen me and know I am fine. They cannot harm us. So let them go.”
“Sadly, I am not sure that is possible.”
“Because you are a vindictive bastard?” Erik asks, his tone quite pleasant.
“Perhaps, but more to the point, because you have information I do not wish to share. I’m afraid you are stuck here with us, as rather unwelcome guests.”
Erik crosses his arms over his chest. “Guests? I think you mean prisoners.”
Sten looks him over. “I suppose I do.”
Gerda jumps up. “You cannot hold us here!”
“I am afraid I can, little sparrow. It is not what I want, but I truly see no other option.”
“You can let them go, and you will.”
Sten gazes down at me, his face registering surprise at the command in my voice. “My dear, they will join those allied against us. We can’t allow that, since they know more than the castle’s location. They also know exactly where I keep the mirror.”
“Then move it.” Out of the corner of my eye, I spy Erik’s face. It expresses, finally, his approval.
Sten strokes my jawline with one finger. “I do not want to.”
I tilt up my chin. “It is my birthday.”
“Is it? Congratulations, my dear. However, I don’t follow your line of reasoning. How are these things connected?”
“This is what I want. As my gift from you. Let them go.”
Sten pulls me into an embrace. “I would rather give you the world.” He turns his head toward Gerda and Erik. “I don’t know what you think of me, other than I am a bastard, but let me assure you I have no intention of handing over the mirror to any army, yours or the emperor’s. In fact, I soon plan to leave this country and disappear, taking the mirror with me.”
Gerda eyes us with distaste. “And Varna?”
“And Varna, if she agrees.” Sten gives me a look that raises the color in my cheeks.
Erik opens his mouth and snaps it shut before saying anything.
Sten examines Erik’s face. “Ah, now I see how things stand. I am sorry, Erik Stahl, but Varna is not for you.”
I look up at Sten’s averted face in amazement. Surely he doesn’t think Erik has feelings for me. Not romantic feelings, anyway. No, that’s ridiculous.
Erik’s face turns the color of his hair. “Varna is my friend. I want what’s best for her. I doubt that is you.”
“Wouldn’t it be preferable to allow Varna to decide?” Sten slides his fingers down my neck and across my shoulders before releasing me.
Erik shakes his head. “Normally I would agree, but not now, because Varna is not herself. It is my turn to speak truth. You have enchanted her mind as well as her body. You’ve turned her into your plaything. Now she is just your doll, or some mindless puppet. You don’t know her, so how can you truly care anything about her?”
Sten stares at Erik, his dark eyes glittering. “You are mistaken. I know her, far better than you. You did not spend months working beside her in a tiny cottage, making healing potions. You never traveled out together on midnight calls to save the sick. You didn’t struggle side-by-side to aid the injured. Yes, I know her—the girl who toiled tirelessly, with little thought for her own comfort, and the woman whose intelligence and passion shine like the stars, although most cannot see it. I know her true self, below the surface, beyond this transformation. It is you, Master Stahl, who have never seen her as she really is.” Sten steps away and raises his arm.
Erik sails backward. He hits the floor with a thump, banging his shoulder into the stones of the hearth.
I rush forward and kneel beside him. “You did not have to do that.” I gaze at Sten, my lips trembling.
Admit it, Varna, you more shocked by his words than this action. Amazed that he might be jealous of Erik, or that he would claim to care for you, the real you ... No, it is another manipulation. It must be.
He crosses to me. “Please get up, my dear. You should never grovel.”
Gerda kneels down beside me. “Leave her alone. You’ve done enough damage.”
I check over Erik, who pushes my hands away. I sit back. “You seem to be fine.”
He grips of one of my hands. “What about you? Are you all right? What has that bastard done to you?”
I pull my hand from his grasp. “I am fine.”
“No, you are not.” Erik struggles to a sitting position and looks me in the eye. “This is not you. I know it isn’t.”
“You know no such thing.”
Erik gazes at me as he did that night in the shepherd’s hut, and I finally realize what it means. I recognize the cause of the shaking hands, the searching looks, and the determination to save me, whatever the cost.
Foolish, foolish, Varna. You couldn’t see it before because your lack of confidence, your stupid self-hatred, blinded you. Do you see it now?
Yes, I do. Now, when it is too late, I know the truth. Erik Stahl loves me.
He loves me in a way I cannot love him. No matter how incredible such a thing seems, Erik desires me, while I only care for him as a friend.
But I do love him, and Gerda too. And that love is just as important as any fantasies of romance.
I rise to my feet. “Let them go,” I tell Sten.
Gerda stands beside me as I extend my hand to help Erik to his feet.
Flanked by Erik and Gerda, I meet Sten’s furious gaze. “I will stay here with you, as I promised. In exchange you must allow them to leave.”
“No, Varna,” Gerda says, as Erik keeps my hand clasped in his.
“That is not how this works, my dear. You choose my side or you choose theirs. There is no middle ground.” Sten’s eyes appear glazed. So odd—if I didn’t know better, I would say he was in pain.
“I will stay. So you must let them go.”
“Or?”
Erik tightens his grip on my hand as I stiffen my spine. “Or I will fight you.”
Sten laughs. “You cannot win, dear one.”
“No, but I can force you to battle me. Which may allow my sister and Erik time to escape.” I squeeze Erik’s fingers. “I don’t think you can concentrate on them when you’re engaged in such a fight, can you?”
“Varna.” My name rends the air like a desperate cry. “Do not do this. I need to keep them prisoner, but I promise not to harm them. That must be enough.”
“It is not. You said yourself we will be caught between two warring armies. Perhaps you and I can escape, but if they remain here, imprisoned, what will happen to them? No. I will not allow it. Let them go.”
Erik releases my hand and steps away, placing his arm around Gerda. He knows what’s happening, what I am about to do.
And you know what to do, Erik. Whatever happens, escape with Gerda. If you love me, do this one last thing for me.
I curl my fingers into a fist. Heat blazes in my palm—a fire that does not burn me. I swing my arm and cast a ball of flame at Sten Rask.
He blocks the flames with invisible shield formed by the palm of his hand, then wheels about and throws a stream of fire at my feet.
I leap aside and spin the fire into a ribbon of flame I cast into the fireplace. “Go!” I shout at Erik.
“Get out!”
Sten casts a wall of flame around me. I push the fire down with my hands and break free, running toward the mirror.
“No!” he roars, chasing me down. He grabs me about the waist.
Out of the corner of my eye I spy Erik dragging Gerda from the room.
That is all that matters. Nothing else. I turn in Sten’s hands and stare up at him. “I will smash the mirror. If not now, later. I will do it. Unless you kill me.”
Sten’s chest heaves. “I cannot kill you. You know that.”
“Why?”
His dark eyes bore into me until I feel the flesh is being flayed from my bones. “You have betrayed me, but I know it was only a momentary lapse. Those two reminded you of the past. You forgot who you are.”
“No.” I caress the side of his face with the back of my hand. “I remembered.”
He pulls me close and kisses me. A long, slow kiss that melts all my bones. It’s as devastating as my transformation, but with pleasure replacing the pain.
“I will cast you into the tower,” he whispers in my ear. “I will place a spell so you cannot use any of your new-found magic. I will imprison you, if you don’t bring them back. They have only made it as far as the gates. Call them back, my love.”
“No.” I snap my fingers. “I have opened the gates. They are gone.”
Sten thrusts me from him. “You have chosen. You go to the tower.”
I hold out my hands, crossed wrist over wrist. “Do it then.”
He swears, grabs my arm, and drags me out of the room, down the hall, up the stairs, and straight to the locked door leading to the tower.
“Varna”—he turns to me as he throws open the door—“say the word and I will release you. Give your allegiance to me. Vow you will never smash the mirror.”
I look him in the eye. “No.”
He takes me then, up the stairs and into a small, round room with one window. He tosses me to the stone floor and leaves me there, and locks the door behind him.
Chapter Thirty: The View from the Tower
STEN PROVIDES ME WITH food, water, and all the necessities. Clean clothes, water to wash up, even a brush for my hair.
Scepter of Fire Page 26
