by Nina Singh
Suddenly music filled the air and an exuberant resort employee jogged into the pool area. Wearing a bright yellow wig and enormous joke shop sunglasses, she asked the pool-goers, “Are you ready for a pool party?”
Lilly started clapping and scrambled to move off the lounger. “Yay!”
“It’s kiddie dance time,” Adria explained with a weary smile, slowly beginning to stand. Her voice said the last thing she was up for at the moment was play dancing by the pool to bouncy reggae versions of nursery songs.
Tori must have picked up on her lack of enthusiasm. “I can dance with her.”
Adria’s shoulders sagged with relief. “Oh, Tori. That would be fantastic. If you’re sure you’re up for it.”
What was up with her? he wondered. She was usually much more energetic. Clay hardly recognized the sluggish, exhausted woman with the dark circles under her eyes.
“I would love to dance to ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’ played on the steel drums with this young lady.” Rising from the lounger, she took Lilly by the hand.
“Unca’ Cway, too!” Lilly shouted and reached for his hand. Looked like he was on the hook.
With a resigned sigh, he let Lilly lead him and Tori to the other side of the pool where several other tots were already stomping tiny feet and pumping small arms.
Clay did his best version of the chicken dance then the electric slide. Judging by the way Tori laughed at him, his moves weren’t impressing her. On the other hand, he couldn’t stop watching her. Tori had a natural way to move to the music, her feet perfectly in sync with the beat. The pleasure on her face was captivating. Lilly’s version of dancing was to run around the two of them while stomping her feet as hard as she could.
If someone had told him a week ago that he’d be dancing to kiddie reggae with the pretty baker from the North End by a pool while his niece ran around their legs, he might have wondered about their mental state.
The music outlasted Lilly’s energy. Clay sensed the very moment she began to peter out and picked her up before she fell over from exhaustion.
Adria was already packing up when they walked back over to their chairs. “Thank you. Both of you.” She threw the beach bag over her shoulder and took Lilly from Clay’s arms. The child snuggled against her mother and fell asleep instantly on her shoulder.
“That had to be the most restful afternoon I’ve spent since we arrived here,” Adria added in a soft whisper before walking away.
Again, it was fairly uncharacteristic of Adria to make such a statement. She was one of those people who was constantly on the move, with energy to spare. He would have to ask her exactly what was going on. There had to be something besides the recent strain on their relationship and all that was happening with Enrique’s career prospects. Not to mention the whole chaos of the wedding.
But right now, his focus was solely honed on Tori. He was finally about to get her alone. He had no doubt she was thinking the same thing, and got all the confirmation he needed when she bit her lower lip, as she had a habit of doing.
No words needed to be said between them. Gently taking her hand, he silently led her from the pool area and along the path that led to his room.
When they finally reached the door and shut it behind them, it was a scramble to relieve her of her clothes.
“I thought I’d never get you to myself,” he rasped against her cheek before trailing kisses along her neck and shoulder. Tori’s response was a low-level groan that broke the last thread of his control.
* * *
Later, with her curled up against his side and the light breeze from an open window carrying the sound of the ocean through the air, he whispered softly in her ear. “Tori?”
“Yes?”
“I really love the way you dance.”
“Even to kiddie reggae?”
“Absolutely.”
She giggled softly, nestled closer against him. “Oh. Um...well, thanks, I guess.”
“Any man who doesn’t is a fool.”
He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
* * *
She didn’t think she was ever going to get enough of this man.
They’d opted for room service in Clay’s room rather than venturing out again. That was fine with her. She could handle a few more stolen moments with Clay. Considering this was all so temporary, that it would end in just a couple short days, she would take what she could get.
The thought settled like a brick of disappointment in her stomach, so she pushed it away. For now, she would live in the moment. Enjoy the company of the man she’d somehow fallen head over heels in love with.
There was no denying that any longer.
Clay handed her a glass of wine and removed the covers from the plates on the serving trolley that had arrived only moments before. A hot curl of steam rose into the air along with the smell of lemon, exotic spices and roasted chicken.
“Hmm. A girl could get used to this,” she said, unfolding a napkin onto her lap. Except that was a lie. She really couldn’t get used to it, tempting as this was. At some point, she would be going back to reality. A reality that only held Clayton Ramos in her memories—until he called with an order.
Stop it already.
Why couldn’t she just let go of all these pestering thoughts and enjoy herself? Live for the moment, like Eloise so often suggested?
“You spoil me,” she added playfully. Her reward was a passionate kiss that almost had her suggesting they forget about the food.
“Anything for the cupcake lady,” Clay teased.
The reminder of the afternoon with Lilly brought a smile to her lips. “Your niece is absolutely adorable. But you know that, don’t you?”
She wondered how he would feel when he finally learned that his uncle duties were about to double. Chances were strong that Tori wouldn’t be in his life when the news was announced. Another pang of hurt tugged at her heart.
She couldn’t seem to stop herself with the defeatist and depressing thoughts. Yet she couldn’t help but consider how all this would affect the days to come. How exactly did one embrace carpe diem when they’d been living their whole lives with the complete opposite mindset until now?
“She is pretty cute,” Clay said around a mouthful of food. “And she really seems to have taken a liking to you.”
“That’s because she associates me with small cakes and sugary frosting.”
He shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe she’s a real good judge of character for a three-year-old.”
It was silly to feel so touched by such an innocuous compliment. But Tori felt her chest swell just the same. “You’re really good with her,” she returned with a compliment of her own. It was the absolute truth. “Lilly’s lucky to have an uncle like you.”
“The kid could have done worse, I suppose. It’s not like I have anyone else to spoil.” He paused to sip his wine. “Or like I ever will.”
She knew she shouldn’t ask, knew without a doubt that she wasn’t going to like the answer he would return. But she couldn’t seem to help herself. “Does that mean you wouldn’t ever want that for yourself? To be a parent.” She swallowed, then added, “Or to be someone’s husband?”
He visibly shuddered at the thought and Tori wanted to kick herself. She should have never even ventured down this path.
“Marriage and kids aren’t for people like me,” Clay told her.
She tried to sound unaffected by his answer, while inside she shook with hurt and disappointment, recalling how the conversation seemed to echo the very thoughts she’d had by the pool earlier.
Clay continued. “Marriage is for guys like Tom. Or Enrique. Guys who enjoyed the safety of stable homes. Guys who didn’t have to grow up too soon.” He poured more wine for both of them before adding, “A man like me is much better off sticking with uncle-hood.”
Well, she’d asked
the question and now she had her answer. Not that she spent her days pining for a future with the proverbial white picket fence, but she knew that at some point in her life she did want a family. A family like the one she’d grown up in, with loud meals and messy fights and tons of love and laughter.
She wanted what Adria had. She wanted a wedding like Gemma was about to enjoy, secure in the knowledge that she’d found a man who cherished her. A man who wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She wanted what her sister had so recently found.
She also wanted Clay.
And all those things were mutually exclusive.
What did it matter? It wasn’t as if she would be given any kind of choice in the matter. Clay hadn’t so much as made one mention of how things between them might play out once they returned to the States.
In fact, he’d made it clear before they’d spent their first night together that what they had would be no more than physical. Not as far as he was concerned, anyway.
Suddenly, Tori found she no longer had an appetite. The roast chicken that had her stomach grumbling and her mouth watering just moments ago suddenly tasted like cardboard in her mouth. Even the sip of wine she’d just taken lodged like a slip of wet paper in her throat.
If Clay noticed the change in her demeanor, he didn’t make any comment.
Or maybe he didn’t care to notice.
* * *
It appeared neither one of them could sleep.
Clay watched silently as Tori left the bed and made her way to the balcony. Whatever was on her mind, she’d been tossing and turning since they’d retired at midnight. He debated leaving her to herself. She was probably just looking to clear her head.
But several minutes passed and his curiosity won out. At least, that’s what he told himself.
The truth? He was trying to conveniently ignore the nagging feeling that his bed felt lonely without her in it.
And that wouldn’t do at all. He just didn’t know what he was going to do about it when the time came.
She started a little when he opened the door and joined her where she leaned against the balcony railing, staring out into the starlit sky.
“Do I snore or is something else keeping you from sleeping?” he asked, taking her in his arms from behind, her back against his chest. He couldn’t seem to stop wanting to touch her.
She indulged him with a light chuckle, almost too low to hear over the gentle lapping of the waves in the distance. “Like a freight train.”
If only he could somehow capture this moment, stop it in time. Everything was perfect as is.
Too bad the world had to keep turning.
“If I promise to be quiet, will you come back to bed?” he breathed against her ear.
“I lied. You do not snore. I was just admiring the night sky. So many stars shining like faraway diamonds.”
“It’s a beautiful sight.” A poet, he wasn’t. Nor was he the type to stand around admiring the stars above. But Tori was good at making him take note of things he normally wouldn’t have.
“I love New England,” she told him. “But the view here in the tropics is something out of a dream.”
She continued. “My family owns a very small place on the beach. We go for a couple weeks every summer. Been doing so since I can remember, with my parents commuting to the restaurant on weekends.”
Clay chuckled. “Weekends by the beach without parental supervision? I’m guessing you and your brothers got into all sorts of trouble.”
She shook her head. “They co-own the house with my aunt and uncle. So adults were always present. Along with my four cousins. It gets crowded, but there’s no shortage of fun. Even now that we’re all adults ourselves.”
“Sounds like a great way to spend summers.” Not for the first time since meeting her, Clay pondered what it must have been like to belong to such a large family. To feel part of a tight-knit group that spent weekends on the beach together in a tiny house.
“Josh often came with us, too. Along with—”
She’d stopped midsentence, but he could guess who she’d been about to refer to.
“Ah, the ex.” Without thought, he wrapped his arms snugly around her middle. The scent of her shampoo ticked his nose and he nuzzled her hair indulgently.
“Yes. Drew often came along with us.”
Dislike and resentment for a man he’d never met and wouldn’t recognize on the street swamped his gut. The thought of Tori with someone else left a bitter taste in his mouth. How utterly Neanderthal, but he couldn’t help what he couldn’t help.
“The funny thing is, I wasn’t even the one who invited him along.”
He pulled back in surprise. “You weren’t?”
“No. I was actually looking for a few days apart. Summers seemed to be the only time that could happen.”
“Then how was he there?”
She sighed, rubbed her forehead. He could feel her muscles stiffen under his touch. “My brother Ty invited him one year. And it seemed to become a tradition after that. They were all friends.”
“Sounds like you two dated for a long time.” A tendril of unease uncurled within him. He had to acknowledge it as jealousy.
“Since high school.”
“High school sweethearts.” The bitterness on his tongue grew stronger.
“Everyone thought I was crazy to break up with someone like him.” Her voice sounded low and raspy. “But I knew I couldn’t be who I was meant to be if I stayed.”
“Meaning?”
She sighed. “Drew has a very strong personality. He didn’t want me to go away to school. He didn’t want me to spend my free time with anyone but him. I only had one good friend through school. Shawna was the only one who didn’t care what Drew thought and stuck around.” An affectionate tone slipped into her voice. “It all came to a head when I decided to open the bakery.”
“How so?” Clay asked, though he figured he could guess. Men like her ex didn’t often want to share their time. Especially when it came to pursuing their own dreams.
“He said I was foolish to even attempt it. That I was too young, too inexperienced. That I was doomed to fail. He told me he was doing me a favor in trying to discourage me.”
“Yet you proved him wrong.” Man, had she ever. A surge of pride shot through him, though it made no sense. He had no claim to her or to her professional success.
She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. Even in the dark, he could see the brilliance of her smile. “I sure did, didn’t I?”
Her earlier wording troubled him. “What did you mean when you said ‘things came to a head’?”
Her chin lifted, set with strength and sheer grit as she settled back against his chest. “He never physically hurt me.”
His vision grew dark at even the thought.
Tori gave her head a shake. “It’s just... There was the time he pulled me away from the dance floor a little too abruptly at a party, his grip on my wrist a little tighter than usual. It happened after an argument we’d had. He’d said I was foolish for taking on so much debt with a business loan.”
Clay’s arms instinctively enveloped her as she continued. “I knew right then I had to walk away. Without looking back.”
His response was to turn her in his arms and take her lips with his own, indulging in a kiss that had them both moaning out loud.
Clay lost sight of how long they stood out there, simply admiring the night. Even as the first early rays of dawn broke the sky, he was hesitant to let her go. Finally, after about Tori’s third contagious yawn, he took her by the hand and led her back inside.
She fell asleep in his arms moments later. But sleep eluded him as he mulled over everything she’d told him about her former lover. The thought of any man treating her in any derogatory way made him want to punch a wall. He knew who he’d be thinki
ng of as he threw that punch, too.
He’d never considered himself to be a violent man. Saints knew he’d been tempted often enough, especially as the years passed and he’d grown taller and gained some muscle. He’d managed to somehow always hold the anger at bay. But right at this moment, he couldn’t say for certain what he might do if he ever crossed paths with Tori’s former boyfriend.
The guy bore more than a striking resemblance to the man who had crashed into Clay’s life without warning. Personality wise, at least. In Tori’s description of her ex, Clay had detected several common characteristics—controlling, belittling, and demanding. A man who always had to have his own way.
A man just like the monster he’d had to grow up with.
* * *
Tori woke hours later in Clay’s arms and allowed herself to simply feel his strength around her. The scents of sandalwood and mint that she was now so fond of flooded her nose and she breathed them in, deeply indulging in the familiarity.
She felt safe in his embrace, coveted.
She’d fallen asleep rather shaken. Divulging all she had about Drew had taken a lot out of her. As a result, her slumber had been restless and flitting.
“Bad dreams?” Clay asked softly in her ear. “You were tossing and turning a lot.”
Now that he mentioned it, she realized a nightmare had indeed been what had roused her. “Yes. I’m sorry if I woke you.”
He gently took her by the shoulder and rolled her over to face him. “Tell me what’s up.”
Tori nestled closer against his chest, allowing herself the full comfort of his warm embrace. “Just a lot of bad memories. Triggered by our conversation earlier.”
“It might help to talk some more, then. I have wide shoulders, Tori. And when it comes to you, I’m all ears.”
