by Nicola Haken
I was making a hazelnut espresso with extra foam all by myself (what a big girl I was!) when Don’s jaw practically smacked into his feet.
“Hold. The. Phone. Seriously hot guy at twelve o’clock.” I daren’t look around for fear I’d screw up the first drink I’d been trusted to make since my arrival. “Well good evening, sir. Welcome to Brewed Awakenings, my name is Don. How can I be of… service to you this evening?” From the tone in Don’s voice he might as well have just said ‘hey cutie you mind bending over this bar and letting me fuck your delicious brains out?’
“Actually I’d like that barista with the sexy ass over there to serve me.” I almost dropped the espresso I’d so meticulously crafted as my heart leapt from my chest.
“Oh, I, um-”
“What are you doing here? I don’t finish for two more hours,” I interrupted, when it became apparent Don didn’t quite know what to say to the seeming stranger perving on the new girl. Don’s uneasy expression smoothed immediately when he realised I knew the said pervert. “Sorry, Don this is my boyfriend Blaine. Blaine… Don.”
“Nice to meet you,” Blaine said, offering his hand. I swear I heard Don groan when he took it.
“I’ll be out back if you need me, Mads,” Don said before reluctantly peeling his eyes off my boyfriend. “Lucky bitch,” he whispered in my ear as he passed. I giggled – I was indeed a lucky bitch.
“So?”
“I stayed away as long as I could. I missed you,” Blaine said, shrugging and pouting like a twelve-year-old girl. He was so adorable at times.
“Well, go sit over there in the corner. I don’t want your gorgeous face distracting me while I’m trying to work,” I teased.
“You think I’m gorgeous?” he asked, feigning surprise.
“Blaine, you know you’re gorgeous. I’ve seen how many times a day you look in the mirror. Now go. I’ll bring you something over when I’ve taken this to table three,” I ordered, steadying the espresso in my hand. I was very proud of it. I hoped it tasted as good as it smelt.
“Whatever you say, ma’am,” he teased, saluting me. “I’ll take a-”
“You’ll take whatever I can figure out how to make. Now go.” I shooed Blaine away with my free hand and served the drink in my other hand before it got cold.
After handing the hazelnut espresso to a middle-aged woman with curly black hair and hearing her sigh like it was the taste she’d been waiting for all day I figured I must have mastered that particular drink. Therefore, that’s what I made for Blaine. Despite knowing damn well he can’t stand milk or cream in his coffee – oh well.
I made a conscious effort not to look in his direction for the rest of my shift, knowing I held no hope of learning if my insides turned to mush. Still, I could feel his bright blue eyes boring into my back the whole time.
By the end of my shift I’d mastered almost every flavour of espresso, the French roast, new guinea and vanilla coffees and I’d made two apple and blackberry smoothies. In between servings Don grilled me about Blaine. How did you meet? Does he play football? Is he good in bed? How soft is his tongue? How firm is his ass?
On the few occasions I did glance Blaine’s way I noticed Don was interviewing him too. He would always report back to me with things like ‘do you know his favourite movie is Total Recall?’ Or ‘did you know he’s been to Barbados twice?’ By the end of the night I think Don might have known Blaine better than I did.
By the end of my shift I had never been so relieved to sit down. My aching feet literally had an orgasm when I slipped my shoes off in Blaine’s car. The house phone was ringing when we got home and with it being ten o’clock at night I answered it in a fluster – worried something had happened with my mum.
“Hello?” The word rushed out so fast it was barely decipherable.
“Maddie, it’s Trudy. Is Blaine with you?”
Shit.
“Um, no. I haven’t seen him.” My voice cracked mid-sentence. I was a terrible liar.
“Will you put him on please?” Did I just imagine saying he wasn’t here?
“Trudy, I just told you he’s not-”
“Maddie, please, just put Blaine on the phone.” This could go on all night. She seemed so certain I was lying. How did she know?
“It’s okay, lish,” Blaine uttered, coming up behind me and snaking an arm around my waist. Nervously, I passed him the phone. “Trudy? I can’t… you know why… she’s fine… of course I am… you won’t? I appreciate that… thank you, Trudy… sure… okay, bye.”
“Blaine, your dad? I thought you didn’t want him to know where you were?” I asked the second he hung up the phone, my voice dripping with panic.
“Trudy won’t tell him. I trust her.”
“Since when?” I asked incredulously. “You don’t even like Trudy.”
“Things change,” he said nonchalantly and I figured that was the last he was going to say on the subject. I let it go… for now. But eventually I wanted to know exactly what had changed. Did she know about the strikes? If she did I’d never forgive her. Reluctantly I simply nodded and changed the subject.
“Bed?” I said with a suggestive grin spreading across my face.
“Now you’re talkin’.”
Blaine
It took my dad two whole weeks of me staying away before I found him waiting for me outside school – longer than I’d expected.
“Dude, he looks pissed,” Jason said, clapping me on the shoulder before I made my way over to him. I ignored him and strode confidently towards my dad – even though I felt anything but. The parking lot was swarming with students and teachers alike however – he couldn’t hurt me here.
“Dad,” I said firmly, nodding curtly.
“Quit fucking with me, Blaine. I want your ass home tonight do you hear me?”
“No. I’m not coming home,” I said boldly, hoping he couldn’t see how much of a struggle it was for me to keep myself upright.
“Oh you will come home, Blaine. I’ll make sure of it.”
Before I had chance to reply my dad climbed into his silver Beamer and left. It took all my strength not to collapse. I felt winded. And… confused. He seemed so sure I would go home – like he had something planned. A thousand scenarios began to turn over in my mind but short of him kidnapping me in the street I couldn’t think of anything that would make me go home to him.
I was pulled from my musing by the vibration of a text message in my pocket. It was from Jason.
Dora’s lookin 4 U
It took a moment for me to realise I didn’t roll my eyes when he called her ‘Dora’. After all this time it seemed as natural as her actual name. I often wondered if Jason even remembered she had another name. I called her immediately. She answered on the second ring.
“My mum can come home tomorrow!” she beamed down the line without even saying hello.
“That’s great, lish. I thought they said three weeks?” Selfishly I couldn’t help wonder what this meant for me staying with her.
“Well they said she’s had no more psycho-whatever episodes and that she’s acting very positive and open to treatment and outpatient visits. So unless she goes mental this afternoon, they’re happy to let her go. Where are you?”
“I’m in the lot. You?”
“Looking at you.” I scanned the lot and then saw Maddie leaning against a tree outside the science building, staring at me. When her eyes caught mine she offered me a wave. I held my hand up to her and then, seeming frustrated, she mumbled something to Michelle and Lori before she walked away from them.
“You look hot,” I groaned down the line as she sauntered towards me in a new white sundress she’d bought with her first pay check.
“That’ll be ‘cause it’s eighty degrees out here.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” By now she was in front of me and I leaned in to kiss her, cupping her baby-soft face in my hands as I flicked my tongue against hers.
“I’m so fucking hard
right now,” I moaned in her ear. “You’re a bad influence on me.” She giggled and swatted my shoulder. “You know I could have you for domestic violence,” I teased. “Unless you make it up to me.” I grinned wickedly at her.
“Later,” she said, mock scolding me as she jabbed my chest with her straightened finger.
“Tease,” I taunted playfully. “So what gives with you and Lori? You looked pretty annoyed with her and Michelle just now?”
“Ugh,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “They’re planning a huge birthday bash for me. Lori’s idea of low-key is only inviting half the school.” Maddie’s birthday was two weeks away. I already had her present – a white gold eternity ring housing three small diamonds and two amethysts. I chose the purple gems because the colour reminded me of her backpack. That might not seem the most romantic notion, but that backpack was just part of Maddie. They went everywhere together. And I guess I found the whole Dora piss-take kinda funny. I’d never tell her that of course – or Jason for that matter.
I decided to ignore Jason’s advice to get her a Rampant Rabbit. Hell, she doesn’t need one – she’s got me!
“Come on, lish, you only hit the big one-eight once.”
“You’re as bad as they are! Although, I am kind of looking forward to you being my toy boy for two months.” My birthday was nine weeks after Maddie’s.
“I’ll be dating a cougar. Fuck that’s hot.” She jokily punched my arm.
“You’re incorrigible, Blaine Elwood.”
“Is that a fancy word for sexy as fuck?”
“Take me home,” she said, rolling her eyes at me. She was trying to feign exasperation but her delicious smile betrayed her.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Chapter Twelve
Blaine
Maddie had the night off work and we spent the evening cuddled up on her couch talking, laughing and watching shit TV. At one point she started to say something about Lori and Michelle but then abruptly changed the subject like she’d remembered she wasn’t supposed to say something. I’d known something was going on with Lori since the day Jason found her crying in the halls. I’d also gathered it had something to do with Sky but I never pushed her to tell me. It wasn’t Maddie’s secret to tell after all and let’s face it, I know what that feels like.
Michelle was still classed as the new chick in school and I told Maddie that she was number one on Jason’s hit list. For some reason she found that hysterical and told me to wish him luck with that. Just as I was about to ask her what she found so amusing my cell rang.
“Kara?”
“You’ve got to come home. It’s dad. I’m scared, Blaine!”
“Woah, woah, woah, slow down. What’s happened, Kara?”
“He yelled at me. I mean really yelled. I swear I thought he was going to hit me. And Mom’s got a bruise on her jaw. She said she tripped but… he wouldn’t do that, would he? I’m just frightened, Blaine, I’ve never seen him so angry.”
“Shit,” I muttered under my breath. Maddie’s body stiffened beside me and she clasped my knee. “It’s okay, Kara. I’m coming right over.”
“What’s wrong?” Maddie urged as I ended the call, her face a deathly shade of grey.
“I’ve been so fucking selfish!” I roared, slapping my forehead. “I have to go.”
“Why? Blaine what’s happened?”
“Did I just think he’d let it go? That he wouldn’t need someone else to take it out on? I’m such a fucking idiot!”
“Blaine please you’re scaring me.” Maddie grabbed onto my arm as I stood up. She was shaking.
“I’m sorry, lish,” I said, cupping her face. “I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s Kara. My dad-”
“Jesus, is she okay?” she interrupted.
“She’s fine… I think. He just shouted at her and she thinks he’s hit Trudy. I’m sorry, lish, I have to go.”
“Then I’m coming too.”
“Like hell you are!” I blasted. Maddie shrank back a step and guilt instantly washed over me. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want you anywhere near him. It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”
“Blaine, I-”
“No, Maddie. This isn’t up for discussion. I’ll call you later, I promise.”
“Okay,” she said in defeat, looking to the floor.
“I love you,” I said and then kissed her forehead.
“I love you too.”
I was in my car and speeding off within seconds. The bastard said he’d make sure I came home. And he did.
Trudy came bounding out of the house as my car screeched to a halt as if she’d been waiting for me. I cut the engine and jumped out without bothering to lock it.
“Where is she?” I demanded. “I swear if he’s laid one fucking finger on her…”
“She’s fine, Blaine. She’s in her room. He wouldn’t hurt her – he’s just trying to get to you.”
“Well it’s working,” I deadpanned. “Did he do that?” I asked, pointing towards the marbled bruise on her jaw.
“It was an accident,” she shrugged.
“An accident? What you just fell onto his fist? This is bullshit, Trudy! We can’t go on like this. We need to start putting Kara first.”
“He’d never touch her, Blaine.”
“So you keep saying. So explain to me why she called me not an hour since scared out of her fucking mind?”
“Like I said he was just trying to get to you. He’s never lost it with Kara before, and he won’t need to again if…” she trailed off.
“If what, Trudy? If I come back home and let him take it all out on me instead? Is that all I am to you… a diversion? Someone to keep the sick bastard off your daughter?”
“She’s my daughter, Blaine. I’d do anything to protect her.” I almost choked on a burst of sarcastic laughter. “This has nothing to do with Maddie,” she snapped.
“So why don’t we just leave? Move out… report him? Why do any of us have to suffer?”
“And be left with nothing? I signed a pre-nup, Blaine, how can I bring Kara up with-” Fuming to the point I could hear steam whistling in my ears I held my hand up, cutting her off.
“This is about money!” I yelled. I felt winded… broken. I didn’t know how long she’d known about my dad physically hurting me, and I wasn’t even sure she knew just how bad, how twisted it was… but to know the only reason she didn’t put a stop to it was because of money… I felt sick. “Once a whore always a whore, huh?”
It happened so fast I didn’t have time to see the flattened, manicured hand coming towards me. She slapped me hard across the face. It stung like a bitch but I shrugged it off. It wouldn’t hurt half as much as what I had coming to me.
“Blaine, I’m-”
“Don’t bother, Trudy,” I interrupted her, batting away her hand that was reaching out to me apologetically. “Don’t fucking bother.”
I stormed into the house, slamming the door behind me in Trudy’s face. Granted she could just open it again but it made me feel better for a nanosecond.
“Kara?” I called up the stairs. In that moment she appeared at the top of the stairs with my dad’s arm wrapped around her.
“I’m sorry, Blaine, I shouldn’t have called you. I overreacted,” she said, shrugging. I couldn’t ascertain if she was lying - if she was covering for him, or felt intimidated, or if she was just being a typical fucking teenager.
“Are you okay?” I asked carefully, trying to give her a meaningful look that said ‘you can trust me’.
“I’m fine. Sorry for bothering you,” she assured, smiling at me – there was no trace of fear or panic in her eyes. She turned to our dad. “Sorry to you too, Daddy. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I just really wanted to go to Sienna’s party.”
Suddenly I felt faint. I’d risked coming back here, made myself wide open to receive god knows how many strikes and all over some dumbass fucking party? My breathing accelerated and I couldn’t help thinking ‘oh, Kara, what the fuck have you done
?’ when I looked at her. It wasn’t her fault of course. She didn’t know what was waiting for me.
“That’s quite alright, sweetheart. Now get yourself off to bed and I’ll see you in the morning,” my dad said to Kara before kissing her forehead. She smiled warmly, maybe even gratefully at him. The whole scene made my stomach churn.
I tried desperately to slow my breathing as my dad made his way down the stairs towards me. I would not be afraid of him. Or at least, I wouldn’t let him know how afraid I was. When he reached me he placed a frim hand on my shoulder. My chest rose and fell so hard it was almost painful. He leaned in slightly to whisper in my ear – his sickening stale-whiskey infused breath crawling over my skin.
“Gym. Five minutes.”
When he walked away I squeezed my eyes closed to stop tears escaping as a violent sob wracked through my body.
Somebody help me.
Maddie
PLEASE call me. I need to no ur ok xxx
I hit send for the fourth time this morning. Blaine didn’t call like he promised he would last night and I’d been trying him all morning only to be greeted by his voicemail. Something was wrong - it had to be. He was hurt - I knew he was. I tried to convince myself there would be a simple explanation – like maybe his dad confiscated his phone again. But then he knew how worried I would be. He’d have found a way to contact me. The house phone, getting a message to Jason or Lori, sneaking out, getting his new BFF Treacle to call…
Lori’s horn sounded outside as I was tipping my untouched bowl of cereal down the sink. I couldn’t eat. My stomach was too constricted by the giant knot forming inside it. I should have been so excited today – my mum was coming home. Yet at the minute that felt like an issue I didn’t have the energy to deal with just now and I knew damn well what a selfish bitch that made me.
“Have you heard from Blaine?” I asked desperately as I slid into the passenger seat of Lori’s blue Mini.
