by Sara Summers
“I’m not leaving.” He objected.
“You’ve been planning on leaving since you got here.” I pointed out, then folded my arms. “You know what? Do whatever you want, because I’m not settling for this.” I gestured between the two of us, then turned on my heels and walked up the stairs.
I went to my room on auto-pilot, all while my mind raced to come up with what I would do next.
I was stranded, stuck with a broken car and a soulmate who was leaving but wasn’t. One who wanted me but didn’t, yet.
The only friend that I knew was in Poulsbo still was Bree, and she was trying to adjust to being a single mom. She worked a lot, and though I babysat for her a few days a week, we hadn’t been as close as we used to. Before she had her baby, we roomed together for two years of college.
She would come pick me up if I asked her to, but I didn’t want to bother her. It was late, and her baby didn’t let her sleep much.
Since she was out of the question I was stuck with Grant.
As I walked into my room, I heard a noise outside. Peeking out my window, I saw something I had never expected. Grant was leaning over my car.
Even in the dim light coming from the streetlights, I could see that he had Bessie’s hood up and was doing something to her.
“What’s he doing?” I gaped, then hurried back down the stairs and out through the garage. I cocked my hip to the side and folded my arms.
“What are you doing?” I demanded. “Breaking my car so I can’t leave? Don’t waste your time; it’s already broken.”
Grant turned around.
“What? Oh, I wasn’t breaking it.” He shrugged. “I was trying to fix it. I heard your engine not turning over earlier and figured I’d take a look.”
“You fix cars?” I raised my eyebrows at him. “What, do you work in a car shop?”
“No,” Grant’s mouth quirked up in a hint of a smile. “I grew up in the country and had plenty of experience fixing things.” He explained.
“Oh.” I stepped back. “Well thanks.” I walked back to my room, feeling incredibly guilty for assuming the worst of him. Sure, I may have been a little justified in my assumptions, but still. He deserved the benefit of the doubt on at least some things. He was a person, after all.
“No problem.” He called back.
When I sat down on my bed, I realized I still hadn’t told him my name.
Then again, he hadn’t bothered to ask.
Chapter 4
The next morning, I half-expected Grant to have left during the night. I hadn’t exactly been welcoming to him, and he’d said he would leave as soon as he explained himself. He still wasn’t “ready” for me (he made that very clear) so I didn’t think he wanted to stay.
Besides, I desperately hoped that he would leave, taking with him all the pain and anxiety he’d caused me. A soulmate who not only hadn’t come to sweep me off my feet, but also didn’t even want to be with me?
That wasn’t a pleasant thought.
I headed downstairs at 7 AM, stopping at the fridge to grab my water bottle. I’d never been a fan of running, but my mom had a treadmill and I liked to walk for half an hour or so every morning. It made my days go better.
When I turned around with my water bottle in my hand, I almost screamed. Grant was sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal. My cereal.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, though what he was doing seemed obvious.
“Eating.” He shrugged. What I meant to say was this:
“Why are you still here?” I amended my demand.
“You’re here.” He said, like it was obvious.
“You don’t want me.” I fired back.
“I never said that.” Grant shook his head.
“You said you would leave as soon as you explained. You explained, you’re not ready to be with me, and I don’t want to be with you. So, get out.” I hurried to the spare room, where my mom kept the treadmill.
Turning my music up loud, I tried to get lost in the songs. Country had always been my favorite, though it got me teased plenty of the time by my twang-hating friends.
The music wasn’t much of a help, though. Every song seemed to sing about love or romance or loss. None of that helped me feel better in even the slightest of ways.
Frustrated, I turned off the music and stepped off the treadmill. That wasn’t helping me cope with my anxiety, or accept the situation in any way.
I opened the door to leave, and then screamed. Grant was leaning against the wall just outside the room.
“Stop stalking me!” I shrieked. My heart pounded hard in my chest.
“You’re my soulmate.” Grant pointed out.
“That doesn’t give you the right to follow me wherever you want.” I huffed, breezing past him. My hands were shaking too—I needed to calm down.
“I know a lot of people who would disagree.” He called back.
“I don’t care.” I hollered, hurrying up to the bathroom.
I locked myself inside, leaning against the door and closing my eyes. If Grant was going to keep playing this game, I was going to have either a panic attack or a heart attack, and neither of those options sounded good.
I took my time in the shower, letting the warm water help calm my anxiety. I’d been to a therapist in high school, and she had taught me a few techniques to help me overcome it. They’d been incredibly useful, particularly in the two weeks I’d known about Grant not wanting me.
When I finally did get out of the shower, I felt a lot better.
Humming, I dried off my hair and wrapped a towel around myself. I pulled a comb through my hair and then was set to go.
Still humming, I opened the door.
Once again, I screamed.
Grant was sitting in a computer chair, just outside the bathroom door. All the time and effort I had just used to calm my anxiety? Gone, right out the window.
“Get out of here!” I shrieked, pointed to the stairs. “Seriously, I’m calling the cops.”
“And telling them what? It’s not a crime for a man to see his wife in a towel.” He folded his arms.
“I am not your wife!” I screamed the words so loud I thought my throat might start bleeding, and then ran inside my room.
It took my heart and mind a few minutes to stop racing, but when it did, I was able to relax myself again, at least enough that I was in control rather than the anxiety.
“Come on,” I muttered to myself. “I just have to get him to sign a paper, and then I’m done.” I reminded myself, trying to stay calm.
When I left my room a few minutes later, I was expecting him to be outside. And, of course, he was.
“Why are you following me?” I folded my arms. “It’s been two years, that’s plenty of time to move on. Even if you didn’t feel ready, that’s also more than enough time to figure out if you ever will be ready.” I pointed out.
“I wasn’t trying to move on, I told you, I just wasn’t ready yet.” He reminded me. “Two years might sound like a lot, but it flew by. I really don’t feel ready for us to be together yet, I’m sorry that you don’t agree.”
“Well I’m not just going to sit around waiting.” I shook my head and walked past him. “Why haven’t you left yet, if you’re not ready for me?” I called over my shoulder.
“Because you don’t believe me.” Grant called back.
I shook my head, not believing him even a little.
I didn’t have anywhere to be for the next two hours, but I’d been planning on babysitting for Bree just before lunch time. She didn’t have any extra money to work with, so I always packed my lunch and took it with me. I was poor too, but I didn’t have a baby to take care of.
Grant sat back down on the couch while I made my lunch, and I avoided looking at him. He mostly stared down at his phone anyway, so it wasn’t too hard.
I heard him chuckle, and my eyes immediately landed on him.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, my voice coming out less dry tha
n I intended.
Grant looked up from the phone, though it took a minute for him to unglue his eyes from the screen.
“You’re talking to a girl, aren’t you?” I tried to say it like I was mocking him, but I wasn’t very good at mean-teasing. My mocking sounded like anyone else’s flirting.
“What?” Grant’s eyes widened, and my mouth dropped open.
I had been joking, but I’d found the truth.
And wow, the truth sucked.
“You are. This is…” I shook my head, dropping the knife on the cutting board. “Eff you. No wonder you weren’t ready, you have a fricking girlfriend. I don’t give a—just get out of my effing house.” I demanded.
My vision started to blur as I sprinted up to my room.
That wasn’t really happening, was it? I tried to convince myself it wasn’t true. I hadn’t dated, had hardly even flirted with any guys (the only flirting I’d ever done had been on accident), and my mate hadn’t wanted me because he found some other girl?
Oh, eff no.
If I hadn’t been completely done with him before that realization, I was afterward. No way would I settle for a soulmate who was dating another woman to get “ready” to be with me.
That was called cheating.
“Kennedy.” Grant knocked on the door to my room. “We need to talk about this.”
“You shouldn’t even know my name.” I yelled back, glaring at the door while praying I’d suddenly be blessed with laser vision that would roast him to bits. Ugly bits, too. He didn’t deserve the pretty face he’d been given.
“Just let me in!” he called back.
“Just leave!” I shouted.
“Please, let me talk to you.” He begged.
“All you’re going to say is that you weren’t ready, and now I know that’s a lie. You were too busy playing boyfriend to care about your soulmate.” I grabbed a pillow and threw it at the door. “Get out of my house!”
Anxiety ate at my stomach, and I tried to keep it under control despite my hurt feelings and my frustration.
“I’ll leave if you let me explain.” Grant finally agreed.
I took a deep breath in, trying to calm my racing, aching heart and the anxiety that wanted so badly for me to lock the door and hide under my bed.
Then, before I could think twice about it, I swung the door open. Standing in the doorway, I folded my arms.
“Fine. Tell me what you have to say.” I glared at him.
“I never planned on falling in love with her,” he began.
I felt angry tears threatening to make an appearance, and forced them down. I almost wanted to stop him, but now that he was in front of me I felt like I deserved to know why the mate I had waited for hadn’t bothered to wait for me.
“It was high school, and I didn’t believe in the soulmates thing. My sister’s mate was a freak, so I stopped believing in it. I decided I wasn’t going to have a mate, and that was that. My junior year, a girl was interested in me. I was horny and hormonal, and because of that, I was interested in her too. We started dating in secret, and I fell in love with her.”
“Eff. You’re married, aren’t you? With a kid or two?” I felt queasy.
“No, no.” he hurried to shake his head. “It went on a year and a half before my dad and sister found out. They were furious and made me break up with her. My dad told me that if I saw her again, he wouldn’t help me pay for college, and he knew I wanted to go more than just about anything.
“I tried to stay away from her, but she wouldn’t have it. I saw her again and my dad found out. He grounded me and took the keys to my truck, then decided to shut off my phone, too. All I did for the rest of the school year was miss my girlfriend, spend time in the ocean, and homework.
“A few days after graduation, it was like someone flipped a switch inside me. I knew there was a girl who was my missing piece, and I knew exactly where she was. I was shocked and awestruck, but more than anything, I felt guilt weighing me down.
“I had dated another girl—kissed another girl—been with another girl for a year and a half, while my perfect woman was in Washington, just waiting for me. I had never felt anything as bad as the guilt, and still don’t.” he admitted. “I told my dad and he told me it was my responsibility to find you and tell you everything. So, I left.
“I swam the whole way here, stopping outside your high school. It was a few days before your graduation, and I saw you with your friends. You looked so happy and excited and hopeful, and I just… I couldn’t ruin that for you.
“I joined the army afterward, leaving a month or two later. I knew where you were the whole time, but I’ve never felt like I was ready to find you. How could you be ready for a man who didn’t wait for you while you waited for him?” he shrugged, like it was hopeless. “That’s the real story.”
“Wow.” I grimaced, pulling my hair away from my suddenly-warm face. “I… I’m going to need some time to process this.”
“Take whatever you need.” Grant hurried to nod. “I’ll stay here until you decide how you feel.”
“Wait, why were you texting her if it ended two years ago?” I frowned.
“She asked how I was doing, and I told her my soulmate had just hit me with her car. She answered, saying I was obviously just as smooth as I’d been in high school.” He shrugged. “It was funny, made me laugh. We’re still friends.”
With that, he walked back down the stairs.
I closed my eyes and leaned up against the wall for support.
Everything he had told me was just too much to process on my own. I needed help, so I picked up the phone and called my best friend.
“Hey, Bree.” I closed my eyes again.
“Hey.” She sounded tired, as I knew she would. Her baby was two months old, and she was still working almost full-time.
“Can you pick me up a little early today? Like, right now? I need to talk.” I admitted, though I felt bad for adding my drama to her already-heavy load.
“Of course. I’ll be there in a few.” She told me, then hung up without saying goodbye.
A few minutes later, she texted me that she was outside and I hurried out to her car without a glance at Grant. I wasn’t sure I could handle the anxiety that would follow looking at him.
My soulmate had dated someone else.
That… I had no idea how to process that.
No idea at all.
Chapter 5
“Hey.” Bree gave me a tired smile. “How’s it going?”
“I’m not sure.” I admitted, leaning my head back against the headrest.
“I already have some hot chocolate ready back at home, don’t worry.” She told me.
“Alright.” I nodded. Thank goodness for best friends, in sucky moments like that.
We parked at her apartment two minutes later, she grabbed the car seat from the back, and we headed up the stairs.
“How’s Emma?” I asked, peeking under the cover over the car seat.
“Oh, she’s good.” Bree smiled at the mention of her daughter. “She missed you yesterday.”
“I missed her too.” I said, touching the sleeping baby’s cute little toes before going into the kitchen with Bree.
“So, want to tell me what happened?” my friend asked, handing me a mug of hot chocolate. It had always been her comfort food, even during the summer, so I was used to drinking it year-round.
“Remember how my mate didn’t want me?” I sat down at the wobbly chair in the kitchen.
“Of course.” Bree nodded.
“Well, apparently, that’s not true. He wants me, he just doesn’t want me yet.” I sighed and leaned back. “Ava told him that I was considering dating like a human would, and he came to find me as soon as he heard. Not to stay and be with me, though. He came to tell me why he had stayed away.”
“What? You met your mate?” Bree’s eyes widened. I nodded, pulling my shirt to the side so I could show her the newly-transformed cotie on my collarbone. “Oh, it’s
gorgeous.” She breathed.
“I love it.” I admitted, brushing my finger against the silvery marks. “But anyway,” I closed my eyes. “He didn’t come after me because he didn’t believe in soulmates during high school and dated someone. He felt guilty when he found out I was real and felt bad that I wouldn’t be his first for everything, so he joined the army and tried to make himself into a good enough guy that I wouldn’t be able to help but fall for him, he said.”
“Well shoot.” Bree locked her fingers around her hot chocolate mug. “That changes things. At least he isn’t a bad guy, like you thought.”
“Does it?” I shrugged hopelessly. “I have no idea what to do with this. He loved another girl first, he kissed another girl, he… gosh, I don’t even want to think about it.” I put a hand on my forehead, closing my eyes.
“What if he was a human?” Bree asked me. “What would you do if a human guy told you he had dated someone else? Would you still give him a chance?”
“Of course.” I picked my head up and frowned. “But he’s not human.”
“If he didn’t believe in soulmates in high school, then he acted the way any human would.” She reminded me.
“I guess you’re right…” I admitted, though I wasn’t sure I believed it. His family was all shifters, after all. He must’ve at least thought about the fact that there was a girl out there for him.
“So he at least deserves a chance.” Bree gave me a smile.
“I guess…” I nodded, though slowly.
“What’s he like?” she asked. “I know you haven’t talked to him much, but you must know something.”
“He didn’t flip out at me for hitting him with Bessie.” I shrugged. Bree gasped.
“You hit him with Bessie?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Yeah.” I admitted. Neither of us said anything for a second, then we burst out laughing. “I was trying to get away, and then my cotie started tingling, and I panicked. I was driving too fast, and he…” I shook my head, a smile glued to my face. “Well, I hit him.”
