"Well, it's been a muddle for years. Your daddy and I avoided each other as much as possible until… well, until my husband died. It had been twenty-four years, but when we saw each other again…" Rachel spread her hands and let them fall back to the steering wheel, giving a short helpless smile. "It might have been easier for all concerned if we hadn't gotten together again, but what we felt for each other was too strong. We could no more have fought it than…" She chanced a peak at Beth and found her sober, listening attentively. "Well, love is a strange thing. It always seems to have its own way."
They approached the turn onto Tommy Lee's property, and Rachel added plaintively, "It can hurt a lot. But it can heal, too."
The car came to a halt in the curved drive before the cedar house with its glossy black doors. When the engine stilled, it left an immense silence between the two passengers. The November wind tilted the tips of the trees, and beyond the house the lake was gone again, drained away until spring dictated its return. The oaks now bore rusty leaves, and the hickories had gone to husk. Autumn… with Thanksgiving imminent. If things went right there could be so very, very much to be thankful for.
Rachel looked across at Beth to find her staring at her thumbnails, which were locked together. Beth blinked hard, then looked out her window. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "This was the house you planned, wasn't it?"
Softly Rachel answered, "Yes, Beth, it was."
"And he named me Beth, too."
Rachel wisely remained silent.
"Did you ever see her again-that other Beth?"
"No, but it doesn't matter anymore."
"Except that she's my half sister." She turned tear-filled eyes to Rachel, adding, "And they're my grandparents."
"I know," Rachel replied sadly. "And I'm working on that. I believe, in time, everything will come out right. Your daddy is as stubborn as all the rest of them in his own way. But he's promised to do his best to set things right before our wedding." Rachel could see she had given Beth a lot to digest in such a brief time. "Your daddy and I thought you were old enough to know, but he asked me to tell you because… well, he was a little self-conscious about parts of it." Rachel touched Beth's shoulder. "Oh, Beth, dear, please try to understand him. He's been through so much pain and he loves you so very, very much."
The huge, brimming tears spilled onto Beth's cheeks as she tried valiantly not to cry.
"I don't want to take him away from you, don't you see? I want to share him with you, just as he wants to share you with me. You're not the same Beth we lost, and I would never substitute you for her in my mind, but… but doesn't it seem prophetic that you both have the same name… as if you were given to us as our last chance to have a daughter to love?" Beth's lower lip trembled and she clamped it between her teeth while Rachel appealed tenderly, "And I would very much like the chance to get to love you, Beth."
In a sweeping motion Beth threw herself into Rachel's arms. "Oh, Rachel, I'm… so-so sorry," she sobbed. "I didn't know."
Rachel felt tears sting her own nose and eyes. "Of course you didn't."
"More-my mother used to… to say terrible things about how Daddy couldn't forget his `precious teenage lover,` and I that-took her side. I hated you because I thought if it will-wasn't for you… well, you know."
Beth retreated from Rachel's arms, hung her head, and self-consciously wiped her eyes.
"Yes, I know. You've been very mixed up about where I would fit into your affections, but please believe me-I would never try to take your mother's place. She'll always be your true mother." Rachel reached up to tip Beth's chin and meet her tear-filled gaze. "But you and I could be friends, couldn't we?" Beth swallowed, and her lips quivered as Rachel went on in a softly appealing voice. "Your daddy made a lot of mistakes along the way, Beth, but all he was really trying to do was be happy. It hurt him terribly to lose his children. He felt guilty and inadequate as a father and as a husband. But now you've brought him the chance to try again."
Beth swallowed hard and admitted, "I was such a br-brat."
Rachel laughed shakily and touched the silky bangs that had gotten messed. "I wish I could disagree with you, but I'm afraid you had me thinking the same thing for a while."
"Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"
Rachel smiled and hugged Beth hard, then leaned back to look into her eyes. "Believe me, there'll be nothing to forgive if you'll only give us your blessing for our wedding Saturday."
"I'll do more than that. Maybe..." But suddenly she stopped.
Rachel ducked her head as if to peer up into Beth's downturned face. "Maybe…?..." she encouraged.
Beth looked up hopefully. "Well, I was thinking, maybe I could be your maid of honor, or whatever you call it."
"My attendant?" Rachel returned, surprised. "You'd really want to?"
Again Beth shrugged sheepishly. "I think you deserve it after the hard time I've given you." Then she dropped her eyes self-consciously. "You never even told him what I did in your store, did you?"
"What good would it have done? That was something between you and me, and I wanted to try to work it out without having him worry about it."
Beth looked up, and suddenly a light seemed to brighten her eyes. "Wait here!" she ordered, and jumped out of the car, then slammed the door and ran toward the house. Puzzled, Rachel did as ordered.
When Beth returned, she stuffed the silver bangle bracelet into Rachel's hands. "Here. Put it back in the showcase where it belongs."
"Oh, Beth, it's only worth..."
"No! Take it back and sell it!" Then in a more subdued tone she added, "I've never been able to make myself wear the dumb thing anyway."
Rachel tucked the bracelet into her purse. "Okay, back to the store it goes. And in the future, if you want to argue about your father, what do you say we do it honorably, straight to each other's faces?"
"Argue? But-but…"
"You don't think we're going to live together in one house, three adults..." Rachel considered Beth before amending, "Well… almost three adults, and never disagree, do you? Your daddy and I have a lot to learn about being parents, but if there's one thing this family is going to do, it's talk things out. I've had all I can take of stubborn people who hold grudges for years and years and refuse to talk them out."
Beth smiled at Rachel for the first time ever. "All right. At the first thing you do that I don't like, I promise to get on your case."
Rachel laughed, too, and a tremendous weight seemed to have been lifted from her heart.
"Since we've agreed to talk things over there's something I should ask you. Would you be terribly disappointed if we let Georgine go? I'm afraid your daddy and she don't get along too well."
Beth made a face. "Georgine's a crab."
Rachel chortled, then put in, "I probably shouldn't say so, but your daddy agrees wholeheartedly. We have someone in mind to replace her. Callie Mae worked for my family when I was a girl. Your daddy and I were the light of her life, and we've promised her she can come and work for us as soon as we're married."
"You mean, she knows everything?"
"Everything. Including the fact that she'll have another teenager to coddle."
Beth's eyes lit up and another broken piece seemed to fall into place.
"Oh, Rachel, I think… well, it seems like…" Beth seemed unable to voice all her newfound feelings, and finally blurted out, "Well, all of a sudden, I just can't wait!"
And as the two shared a last embrace, their newfound amity seemed a portent of peace ahead.
Tommy Lee and Rachel had decided to go together to visit Gaines and Lily Gentry. Verda was already winding up the cord of the vacuum cleaner when Tommy Lee stepped through the door of Panache. He had come straight from work and wore a brown tweed sports coat and tie beneath a crisp oyster-colored trench coat, its collar turned up. The wind had messed his hair, and as he closed the door and turned, he combed it back with his fingers.
Watching, Rachel marve
led again at the powerful swell of emotions his appearance never ceased to create in her breast. It was more than just the missed years-oh, they were part of it-but there was pride in how much he'd changed, exhilaration in the thought of their future, and a vibrant sexuality that scintillated between them each time they encountered each other.
Seeing him, that first glimpse as he entered a room, rounded a corner, opened a door as he had just now, brought the most astounding response. Her heart accelerated as it had long ago, and she felt warm and knew her cheeks grew pink each time his eyes sought her out as they did now across the scented shop.
"All ready, darling?" he asked, crossing to her, touching his lips briefly to hers.
"Almost. We're just closing up." She moved to the armoire and switched off its light, then to her desk to tamp some papers into a neat pile and push the chair beneath the kneehole.
Verda looked on benevolently-by now she had grown used to Tommy Lee coming in this way. There was a new glow about Rachel since she'd been seeing him, and he was looking sexier than ever, though today he wore a distant, worried expression.
Verda offered, "You two go on. I'll lock up."
Rachel flashed her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Verda. See you tomorrow."
It was a drive of only minutes from the store to Cotako Street. As they pulled up before the Gentry house, Tommy Lee was silent and introspective. He smoked his cigarette voraciously, though Rachel was quite sure he didn't even realize he had it between his fingers. She reached over and brushed the back of his hand.
"Are you sure you want me to come in with you?"
The hand turned over and his fingers gripped hers. "Yes. Please. I need you."
"You're sure you wouldn't rather talk to them alone?"
But the pressure on her fingers told her how tense he was, how much he relied upon her for moral support. She leaned over to kiss his cheek and said, "All right, then, let's get it over with."
It felt awkward, standing on the front step waiting for someone to answer the bell-after all, they'd scampered at will into and out of this house for years. Tommy Lee stood with his hands buried in his coat pockets, his collar still turned up, his expression grave as he stared at the black metal mailbox beside the door. The wind lifted his coattail and slapped it back across his thigh, and Rachel placed her hand on his sleeve to squeeze his arm reassuringly.
The door opened and there stood Lily, gaping as if they were ghosts, holding the edge of the door and not moving a muscle.
Finally Tommy Lee said, "Hello, Mother."
His words seemed to shake her out of her trance. Her lips opened and her eyes skipped from Tommy Lee to Rachel and back, but though her throat worked, no sound came out. So Rachel added, "Hello, Lily."
At last Lily found her voice.
"Have-hello," she said, though it was no more than a weak, breathless squeak.
"We wondered if we could talk to you and Daddy."
"Which-why, of course. Come in. Come in." Suddenly she was all action and smiling solicitousness, stepping back and waving them in with fluttery, nervous gestures. "Well, my gracious, what a surprise this is. I was just… Come, sit. Where did he… Gaines?" she finally called, glancing around as if she'd misplaced him.
"Lily, where are my slippers?" came his voice from upstairs.
Lily flapped her hands. "Oh, that man, forever losing something. Just… Would it… Excuse me just a minute." She went to the bottom of the stairs and called up, "Gaines, we have company. Leave your shoes on."
"Company? Who?"
"Come see," she answered.
A moment later Gaines Gentry appeared at the foot of the stairs, and when he saw who stood across the room he stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes zeroed in on Tommy Lee, held for some time before shifting to Rachel momentarily, then settling on his son again. Disbelief registered on his face. His cheeks began turning an electric pink, and finally his feet started moving.
"Well, this is a surprise."
"Hello, Daddy. I hope we're not interrupting your dinner," Tommy Lee began.
"No… no!" Gaines responded eagerly. "We hadn't started yet. Your mother was just setting the table." He stood near enough to touch, but both he and Tommy Lee refrained from reaching out to each other. Rachel sensed his breathlessness and noted a trembling in his hand as he patted his shirtfront and repeated, "Well, this is quite a surprise. Tommy Lee." And as if just now remembering himself, Gaines turned to include his other visitor. "And Rachel, too."
"Hello, Gaines."
Tommy Lee cleared his throat. "We'd like to talk to both of you if you have a minute."
"Why, sure, sure… let's sit down. Lily, is there any coffee?" he rambled nervously.
"No," Tommy Lee interjected. "No coffee for us. We'll only be a minute."
"Well, sit down anyway. Can I take your coats?"
The whole thing was starting out just as Rachel had suspected it would, with everyone walking on eggshells. Gaines's face was so bright by now he looked in danger of having a stroke, and Lily wore a porcelain smile that made it quite impossible to look her in the eye. Finally they were all perched, Gaines and Lily on overstuffed armchairs, Tommy Lee on a davenport beside Rachel, the only one to lean back with any semblance of composure.
Silence fell for several uncomfortable seconds. Then Tommy Lee cleared his throat, rested his elbows on his knees, and chafed his hands together, studying the floor between his feet, finally glancing up to ask, "So, how have you both been?"
"Fine!" they replied together, then glanced at each other sheepishly while the room grew tingly with tension.
"Me, too. I ah… live out on the lake now."
"Yes, we heard."
"My daughter lives with me."
"Your daughter!" Lily said, as if surprised.
"Yes, the one you've seen with me at church."
"Oh, yes, of course. My, but she's pretty."
Tommy Lee allowed himself to smile, raising his eyes to Rachel as if for fortification. "Rachel says she looks like you." Lily grew fluttery again, and Tommy Lee cleared his throat and lurched to his feet, then began pacing nervously.
"We, ah… Rachel and I have been seeing quite a bit of each other since her husband died."
"We were so sorry to hear the news, Rachel. Such a young man."
"Yes… well…" Rachel searched for something to say to cover the awkward moment. "Tommy Lee has helped me tremendously to get over Owen's death."
She lifted her face to Tommy Lee, and their eyes met and held as he added, "And Rachel has helped me, too. I've been managing, with her help, to get my life back on track." He drew a prolonged breath, and she offered a smile of reassurance to force him on. "I was running pretty wild there for a quite a few years… thought I had the world by the tail, but actually I was on a self-destruction course. Rachel made me realize that." Still their eyes communicated as he added more softly, "Rachel's made me see a lot of things."
Gaines and Lily observed the tender expression passing between the two and dropped their eyes to the carpet, but their son suddenly seemed to draw himself back to the present, squaring his shoulders and facing the two seated on the matched chairs.
"You see, it's because of her that I'm here. She and I… we're…" Tommy Lee's troubled eyes wavered from his mother to his father. Then he swung around, took two jerky steps toward the fireplace, shoved one hand through his hair, and mumbled, "Oh, hell." Finally he spun to face them once more, and when at last he said what he'd come to say, it came out all in a rush. "Rachel and I are going to get married this Saturday, but before she would agree to it she made me promise to come here and settle things with you, so here we are."
Not a sound adulterated the silence. From the kitchen came the smell of supper cooking, while in the living room four uncertain people faced one another, each waiting for the next one to say something.
Lily was the first to respond. She pulled her lips together long enough to breathe, "Married?" Her eyes were enormous as she looked up at h
er towering son, who stood with his hands buried in his coat pockets, a defensive scowl on his face.
"Yes, married. We thought you should know."
Lily's face was pale as parchment, and she touched her heart and looked to her husband for a reply, but he was as surprised as she. Though they had seen Rachel and Tommy Lee exchanging hellos on the church steps, they had no idea the two had been seeing so much of each other.
Tommy Lee crossed to his mother's chair and hunkered down before it, taking her hand. "I love her more than I could ever begin to tell her. I've never stopped loving her. Having her in my life again has given me the strength to turn it around in the nick of time. But she's very wise, more so than any of us three…" His eyes moved to a stunned Gaines, then back to Lily. "She realized that a lot of what was wrong with my life stemmed from the bitterness I felt toward you two. And I want it over. Over and done with." Then he ended softly, "Don't you?"
The look they exchanged was poignant as Lily's eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Tommy Lee, I've prayed for years to hear you say that."
"Why didn't one of you say it?" he asked, a shadow of hurt in his tone.
Her eyes dropped to their joined hands. "Stubbornness, I guess. Pride." She looked up into her son's eyes and added quietly, "Guilt."
Still holding his mother's hand he turned his head to include his father as he said, "Rachel and I want an end to all that. It's over. She and I have a second chance and that's all that matters now. Beth will be living with us, and-don't you see? It's almost as if Providence decided in our favor after all these years. She's not the same Beth we lost, but that doesn't matter. Isn't it time we all put that incident behind us? God knows I'm as guilty of keeping old wounds from healing as anybody. But now there's going to be Rachel… and me… and Beth. I… I'm anxious for you to meet her."
The hellion Page 25
