He tried to tell himself that’s all it was but in his heart he knew the answer was more complicated than that, so complicated that once he worked it out, his life would never be the same again. What he needed to decide first of all was if he was ready to take that next life-changing step.
‘That was absolutely delicious.’
Grace sat back in her seat with a sigh of contentment. Now that supper was over she was feeling surprisingly relaxed. Having Harry in her home was a new experience, but once she had got over her initial nervousness she had started to enjoy the evening. He was very good company and had kept her entertained with a string of amusing anecdotes, without monopolising the conversation. He seemed as happy to listen as he was to talk, drawing her out so that she had overcome her natural reserve and had found herself chatting away. He had the gift of making a person feel special. And she definitely felt special tonight.
‘How about a top-up?’ Harry picked up the bottle of wine they’d opened, but she shook her head. While it had been a very pleasant evening, it would be foolish to get too carried away. Harry may be charming and sociable but she didn’t want to run the risk of falling completely under his spell, did she?
‘No, thanks. I’d better not have any more. I don’t want to feel groggy in the morning when I go into work,’ she explained, deeming it safer to get the conversation back onto more familiar territory.
‘If you go into work,’ he corrected, putting the bottle back without adding any more wine to his own glass.
Grace sighed because she could tell he wasn’t happy about the idea. ‘There’s just no way that I can take any time off at the moment, Harry. It’s far too busy at the surgery and it isn’t fair to you.’
‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll cope. It’s more important that you’re fit and well.’ He leant forward and she could see the determination in his beautiful blue eyes. ‘You had a hell of a shock tonight, Grace, so don’t go pushing yourself too hard.’
‘I’m not. I feel absolutely fine so there’s no reason why I shouldn’t go to work tomorrow.’ She stood up, wanting to end the conversation before it turned into another squabble, and gasped when her ribs spasmed painfully as she tried to straighten up.
‘And that’s an example of you feeling fine?’ His dark brows drew together as he studied her ashen face. ‘You’re in pain, Grace, and I don’t need to be a doctor to know that. The only thing you should be planning on doing tomorrow is resting.’
‘I’ll be all right once I’ve had a good night’s sleep,’ she murmured, hoping she wasn’t being overly optimistic. Although the pain had eased while she’d been in the bath, there was no denying that she was starting to feel very stiff now. She bit her lip as she pushed the heavy wooden chair under the table because just moving it back into its place seemed to demand an awful lot of effort.
Harry shook his head as he stood up. ‘I doubt a night’s sleep is going to make much difference. My bet is that you’ll probably feel an awful lot worse by the morning.’
‘Cheer me up, why don’t you,’ she retorted, stepping around him to take her plate to the sink.
‘I’m not trying to upset you.’ He caught hold of her arm and brought her to a halt. ‘I just don’t want you running yourself into the ground like Miles has been doing.’
‘Afraid you might end up stuck here longer than you’d planned?’ she shot back.
‘No. I just can’t bear to watch you making yourself ill.’ He ran his hand up her arm under the sleeve of her robe and she shivered when she felt his fingers skating so delicately over her skin. ‘Promise me that if you don’t feel well tomorrow, you’ll stay home and rest.’
‘I have a job to do so I can’t possibly make a promise like that,’ she countered. She didn’t appreciate Harry telling her what to do. Maybe he was only thinking about her welfare but she was too used to being in charge of her own life to welcome his interference. She opened her mouth to tell him that but his hand had started moving again.
Grace’s breath caught as his fingers began their descent. His hand had reached her elbow now, the pad of his thumb coming to rest in the crook of her arm. She could feel the faint beat of his pulse tapping against her skin, feel her own pulse quicken in response as a rush of awareness surged through her. It was as though she could actually feel his fingers leaving an imprint on her skin, like fingerprints on a glass. The thought that he was putting his mark on her was so erotic that she shuddered and he must have felt the spasm as it passed through her.
‘You’re shivering—are you cold?’
‘I’m fine,’ she said quickly, but her body betrayed her. She bit her lip as another shiver rippled through her.
‘I can feel you shaking. It could be delayed shock from the accident.’
His hand swooped down to her wrist before she could do anything to stop it and she closed her eyes in despair. She knew that her pulse was racing and in a moment Harry would know it too.
‘Your pulse is way too fast. Do you feel dizzy or sick?’
‘No, I’m fine,’ she repeated, wishing he would accept what she was saying and stop questioning her. However, it was too much to hope that Harry would take the easy option.
‘Then why are you shivering and your pulse racing? I’m not stupid, Grace. I can see for myself that something isn’t right.’
‘I’m fine,’ she repeated woodenly once more.
He turned her to face him and his eyes were very gentle as he looked at her. ‘There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Grace. Most people would be suffering from shock if they’d been through a similar experience to yours.’ He drew her into his arms and held her. ‘There’s no need to be scared, though, because I won’t let anything happen to you—promise.’
Grace swallowed as she felt a sob well into her throat. If he’d been more pushy, more forceful, more like the old Harry, she might have been able to control her emotions, but this new tender side he was showing her was more than she could withstand. She had been scared tonight, scared and shocked and…and…
A sob escaped from her lips and she heard him murmur something as he drew her closer. He cupped the back of her head, his long fingers gently stroking her damp hair. ‘It’s all right, Grace. Everything will be fine,’ he crooned, and she cried all the harder because it had been a long time since anyone had held her and comforted her.
When she’d been growing up, she’d been the one who had done the comforting. She had comforted her mother time and again after her father’s numerous affairs. There had been no time to deal with the effect it had been having on her when her mother had needed her support, so Grace had learned to ignore her own feelings. Now it was as though all the pain and anguish she had bottled up had found an outlet and she cried as she had never cried before.
‘Shh, it’s all right, sweetheart. You’re safe. I’ve got you.’
Harry brushed his lips against her temple as he rocked her gently to and fro. There was nothing sexual about the kiss—it was merely a way to offer comfort the best way he knew, and it worked. Grace clung to him, needing his support as her composure ebbed away. She felt like a frightened child again—terrified that she wouldn’t be able to cope—but if she held onto Harry, she would get through this. Harry would do everything in his power to help her.
Afterwards, she wasn’t sure if it had been that thought which had broken down the very last barrier. All she knew was that she needed more than that gentle kiss from him. She turned her face up towards him, seeing the pain in his eyes as their gazes meshed.
‘I can’t bear to see you cry like this,’ he murmured, his mouth just a breath away from her own. ‘Tell me what I can do to help you, Grace.’
‘This.’
All it took was a tiny fraction of a second to close the gap between them yet it felt like an eon had passed because she was so hungry for the comfort he could give her. Their lips met and she felt the shock that rippled through him, felt him try to draw back, and clung even harder. She needed this kiss, needed it to er
ase the past and give her back the future, and maybe her need communicated itself to him.
All of a sudden his arms tightened around her and she heard him groan as he deepened the kiss. There was no hesitation now as he plundered her mouth, no hint that he wanted to stop. In a strange way, it was as though Harry’s need was as great as her own, although she couldn’t imagine why that should be and didn’t try. This wasn’t the time to examine their motives, to start having doubts.
He raised his head and she shivered when she saw the hunger in his eyes. ‘Tell me to stop if it’s not what you want, Grace.’
‘It is.’ She placed her hand flat on his chest, felt his heart thunder beneath her palm, and smiled at him. ‘I don’t want you to stop, Harry. I want to feel as though someone cares about me.’
A shadow darkened his eyes but he didn’t say anything as he bent and kissed her again, a long drugging kiss that had her clinging to him. When he lifted her into his arms and carried her along the hall she didn’t protest, didn’t say anything at all. She didn’t want to talk, she only wanted to feel.
He carried her up the stairs to her bedroom and laid her on the bed then sat down beside her and kissed her again, butterfly-soft kisses which filled her with delight. She’d been kissed before and had even had a couple of brief relationships when she’d been younger but no man had ever treated her so tenderly. It was as though Harry was cherishing her, and the thought made all the cold spots in her heart fill with warmth. Even though Harry didn’t love her, at least she would have had a taste of how it might feel to be loved.
He unfastened the belt on her robe and pushed it off her shoulders with the utmost care. Grace knew that he was afraid of hurting her, but the aches and pains in her body seemed much more bearable now that she had found the perfect distraction. He unbuttoned her pyjama top then paused, his handsome face looking unusually grave in the lamplight.
‘Are you absolutely sure about this, Grace? It isn’t too late to stop—’
‘Hush.’ She pressed her fingers against his mouth, stopping the words because they weren’t necessary. She knew exactly what she was doing and didn’t need to reconsider her actions. She needed this night, needed his passion so she could start to heal.
She looked deep into his eyes so there would be no mistake about what she was saying. ‘I want us to make love, Harry. I know exactly what I’m doing and I promise you that I won’t regret it in the morning.’
‘So long as you’re sure,’ he said quietly, his eyes searching hers.
‘I am.’
He didn’t say anything else as he lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. He placed it on the cover beside her then carefully parted the edges of her top and kissed the hollow between her breasts. Grace shuddered when she felt the warmth of his lips grazing over her skin. His mouth skimmed over her body, pausing to drop kisses along the way, and it was only when he reached her shoulder that she realised he had been following the mark the seat belt had made.
He kissed her collar-bone then let his lips skim along her jaw before he found her mouth again. He kissed her slowly, deeply and with great tenderness, his hands gently caressing her stomach, her waist, the curve of her right breast. Grace could feel her tension building as his fingers edged ever closer to her nipple but at the very last second they moved away to start the whole process all over again. She was shivering by the time his hand arrived at her nipple again, and didn’t think she could stand it if he didn’t touch her this time, but he did.
She moaned when she felt him rub the tiny bud until it tightened, then cried out when his head swooped down and she felt his mouth close over her. Sharp little needles of pleasure darted through her as he suckled her and she put her hand on his head, her fingers twisting in his hair as she urged him to continue. What little she knew about love-making hadn’t prepared her for this.
He lavished the same attention on her other breast then stood up and stripped off his shirt and tossed it onto the floor. He grinned wolfishly as he lay down beside her and took her into his arms. ‘Now we’re even, aren’t we?’
Grace laughed, enjoying the fact that even in the throes of passion he could tease her. ‘No tops, just bottoms?’
‘Got it in one.’ He rewarded her with a kiss then took hold of her hand and placed it on his chest. ‘Your turn. I wouldn’t want you to accuse me of being a chauvinist.’
‘Heaven forbid,’ she murmured distractedly, because she didn’t feel like talking when there were far more interesting things to do, like exploring the hard ridges of muscle across his broad chest, or comparing the texture of his skin—deliciously rough where the dark hair grew in whorls over his pectoral muscles, silky smooth in other places. Then there were his nipples, flat penny-sized discs that puckered invitingly when she ran her fingers ever so lightly across them…
‘That’s about all I can stand for now.’
He took control again, his hands trembling as they slipped inside the waistband of her pyjama pants. Grace lay quite still as he eased them off her hips and down her thighs. It had been a long time since she’d made love and she couldn’t pretend that she didn’t feel a little embarrassed about her nakedness. Yet when she saw the expression on Harry’s face as he looked at her, she knew there was no need.
‘You’re beautiful, Grace. Absolutely perfect.’
He kissed her softly on the mouth then stood up and stripped off the rest of his own clothes. He lay down beside her and took her in his arms again, holding her so close that she was left in no doubt about how much he wanted her. But even then, when his hunger must have been almost unbearable, he still sought her permission first.
‘I want to make love to you, Grace. Can I?’
The simple sweetness of the request touched her more than any amount of flowery phrases could have done. Leaning forward, she kissed him on the mouth, letting her kiss answer his question. They made love with a passion that reduced her to tears again, but she didn’t care that she was at her most vulnerable. She had nothing to hide any more. Not from Harry. Never from Harry. Her friend and now her lover.
CHAPTER TWELVE
HARRY was wide awake by the time wintry sunlight began to seep through the curtains. He’d barely slept, his mind too full of what had happened to allow him to rest. It was hard to believe that he and Grace had made love last night but the proof was in the fact that she was lying beside him.
Had it been the right thing to do? he wondered for the umpteenth time. Should he have given in to his desire and her pleas? Only time would tell and the thought did little to ease his conscience. Grace had been upset last night and he should never have taken advantage of her.
‘Don’t.’
He looked round when she spoke, feeling his heart fill with tenderness as he saw that she was awake. She looked so lovely as she lay there that he wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms and kiss her until every doubt disappeared. However, he knew it would be only a temporary reprieve. It would need more than kisses to make this situation feel right.
‘Don’t what?’
‘Don’t blame yourself for last night. I knew what I was doing, Harry.’
‘Did you?’
She sighed when she heard the doubt in his voice. ‘Yes. You didn’t force me, Harry. It was my decision and I’m glad it happened.’
‘Really?’ he asked, as a little of the guilt started to melt away. He rolled over onto his side and smoothed a strand of caramel-brown hair behind her ear. ‘So I didn’t take advantage of you at a weak moment?’
‘No more than I took advantage of you.’ She smiled back at him, her dove-grey eyes filled with laughter, and he chuckled.
‘Maybe it’s you who should be feeling guilty instead of me.’
‘I might, if I thought you regretted what we’d done.’ She sobered suddenly. ‘You don’t, do you?’
‘No. I don’t regret a single second of last night. How could I when it was the most wonderful experience I’ve ever had?’
‘
It’s kind of you to say that but it isn’t necessary. I know you’ve been out with a lot of women and I’m sure they were much better in bed than I’ll ever be.’
He sighed. ‘I’m not being kind, Grace. I’m telling you the truth. I admit that I’ve dated a lot of women, although not as many as you might think. However, it’s always been sex in the past—pure and simple.’
‘So what was last night, then?’
‘I don’t know,’ he admitted roughly. He was getting into dangerous waters now. If it hadn’t simply been sex then it had to have been something more. But how much more? That was the question.
He cupped her cheek in his hand, unsure how to explain his feelings when he didn’t understand them himself. ‘It was more than sex, Grace. I really care about you and that’s what made it so special.’
‘Thank you.’ She turned her head and pressed her lips to his palm. ‘I care about you, too, Harry. I’m just glad that we’ve managed to sort things out at last and can be friends.’
‘Me, too,’ he agreed, although at the back of his mind he knew friendship wasn’t the only thing he wanted from her.
He chased away the thought in the most effective way he knew—with a kiss. They were both breathless when it ended but he knew he should call a halt before the situation became too fraught. Last night Grace had needed comfort and he’d been there to provide it, but he mustn’t make the mistake of thinking that she needed him in her life on a permanent basis.
He thrust back the quilt, refusing to let himself dwell on how unhappy that thought made him feel. ‘I’ll grab first go in the shower if you don’t mind. I’ll have to scoot off back to the hotel and get changed before surgery starts.’
The Woman He's Been Waiting For Page 11
