Damien paced like a caged bull in front of the elevator, putting on a great show for the onlookers.
“See him out, Krista,” Tessa said in an impressively firm tone.
I stood up and hurried after Damien, making it to the elevator just as the doors opened.
Once the doors were closed, Damien’s whole demeanor changed like someone had flipped a switch. “Well, that was more interesting than I expected,” he said, his eyes searching me in a funny way.
“What do you mean?”
The corner of his lips tilted up in an unreadable half smile as he stepped forward and took my face between my hands. “Let’s just say that Tessa had an interesting perspective on things.”
I knew all too well that Tessa suspected I had feelings for him. What had she said to him?
As these thoughts ran through my head, I stared up at Damien, caught in the force of his searching gaze. This was definitely not keeping my distance. But where was I supposed to go in the elevator?
Crap. I hadn’t even hit the button to go to the second floor, so I reached out and pushed it harder than necessary. As it moved down, I wrapped my hands around his wrists. “I don’t care what Tessa said. The only perspective that matters is ours, and I need to step back, Damien. Before doing so gets any harder.”
“But why? Why are you so afraid?”
I answered him as honestly as I could. “I’m afraid of anything I want too much.”
And then the doors opened and saved me.
Or they would have if Melinda hadn’t been standing on the other side of the doors. Heaven knew what she thought when she saw me and Damien standing as we were, apparently all wrapped up in each other.
I pushed his arms away and stepped out of the elevator. “I was just…showing him out.”
She nodded, her face grim. “Come and see me when you’re done.” Then she stepped past me and the doors closed.
“I’m sorry,” Damien said. “Should I come up with you?”
“No. You should go.”
He stared hard at me for a moment, then his shoulders dropped in defeat and he turned away. I watched him leave, noting the quick nod of goodbye he sent the receptionist and the hunch of his shoulders as he walked out into the sunshine.
Chapter Twenty-Three
As I walked to Melinda’s office, I desperately tried to control my expression. This was not good. All my worries had just become reality because of one unguarded moment in an elevator. My job was no doubt on the line, and besides the fact that I desperately needed it to maintain my independence and finally build the life I wanted for myself, I had connected to Booms and Nibbles more deeply than I’d realized. I felt empowered by the company and by the people working here. I was terrified that I’d just ruined that.
Which was exactly why I didn’t need to go in there looking like I wanted to murder Melinda.
Damien, maybe. Not Melinda.
Taking a deep breath, I focused on not glaring and lifting the corners of my lips just enough that I wouldn’t look angry. It was time to put my restaurant hostess face on. I knocked.
“Come in.”
I walked into Melinda’s office, preparing myself, I hoped, to face anything.
“Sit down, Krista.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Melinda leaned across her desk and studied me for a long, nerve-wracking moment. “Can you please explain to me what the heck is going on?”
I couldn’t even begin to know how to handle this. “What you saw in the elevator wasn’t what it looked like.”
She waved her hand at me. “Now, hold on. We’ll get there in a minute. I’m so confused that if we start there, I’m going to lose track of things again.” Melinda opened a desk drawer and pulled out a notepad. “Look, I’ve even been making a diagram, but I’m missing something.”
I glanced down and saw Damien’s name written in thick black ink in the middle of the page with a circle drawn around it. Then Victoria’s, Tessa’s, and my name written in the space around it with arrows and labels. But before I could focus on that, I had to know one thing. “Ms. Braswell, aren’t you angry at me?”
“I don’t know. I’m trying to figure out if I should be. I mean, if you’re trying to steal my daughter’s man, that would be hard for me to deal with, you know? But from what I can tell, they aren’t a couple, and she’s just being obsessive about him. She’s always been like that, you know—wanting what she can’t have more than what she can. But I also can’t have drama in the office, and you having an affair with Tessa’s boyfriend…well, that would be a level of drama I can’t even imagine. But I just can’t see you stooping to that level of stupidity. So what is it? What am I missing?”
Unfortunately, explaining myself would betray Tessa, and I couldn’t bring myself to do that. “I’m afraid I can’t explain everything because it’s not only my story. But I promise that Tessa knows almost everything, and she doesn’t have a problem with any of it.”
Melinda raised her eyebrow. “I’ve known Tessa for long enough to be sure she wouldn’t be okay with sharing her boyfriend.”
I closed my eyes in frustration. It was impossible to defend myself. I was definitely getting fired. “I wish I could explain more fully, but I can’t. I understand if you need to let me go.”
“Let you go? And lose the best executive assistant we’ve ever had? I’d rather just pull Tessa in here, if you don’t mind. It shouldn’t bother you, since you say she knows everything, right?”
I bit my lip. She knew everything, but that didn’t mean she’d be able to explain this mess without incriminating herself. I stood up, “No. I’ll resign.” My throat almost closed up with the pain of saying the words out loud.
Melinda just blinked at me and picked up her phone. A moment later, Tessa must have answered her call, because Melinda said, “Tessa, get your CEO rear end down to my office.”
I sank back down in my chair, overcome with regret. If only there was some way to stop this from happening.
Quicker than I expected, there was a light tap on the door behind me right before it opened. “What’s up, Melinda?”
“Join us for a chat,” Melinda said, gesturing to the chair next to me.
“Okay,” Tessa said, sitting down, looking as uneasy as I felt.
“When I got to the office a few minutes ago, I ran into Krista and Damien getting out of the elevator, looking like they were about to kiss.”
I scrunched my eyes closed against her words, trying not to focus on that mental image. We probably had looked like that.
To my surprise, Tessa squealed excitedly. “Really? Wow, Krista! I didn’t expect that, even though I told him to go after you and not take no for an answer.”
My eyes popped open. “You did what?”
“Yeah. Man, he was so miserable over you that I got him to talk to me.”
Melinda interrupted. “You knew your boyfriend liked her, so you told him to go for it and not take no for an answer?” The poor lady looked so confused.
Tessa nodded, her expression serious despite how ridiculous it sounded. “It’s not as insane as it sounds, Melinda. I’ve been keeping something from you, but I don’t want Krista to suffer for my decisions. My whole relationship with Damien was a sham to cover up my relationship with Logan.”
“Logan?” Melinda pulled her diagram toward her. “I’m running out of room to add people here.” She wrote Logan’s name down and drew an arrow between his name and Tessa’s. Then she waved her hand. “Keep talking.”
“Okay. Where do I start?” Tessa thought for a minute. “Logan and I met on a blind date the Friday before he came to work here. And we kissed that night. We tried to keep things professional after that, but we weren’t very successful. I just didn’t want anyone to think he was showing favoritism toward me, even though he wasn’t, so Krista and I came up with the idea to bring a fake boyfriend onto the scene.”
Melinda’s lips quirked up. “Well, you picked a believable guy. He’s apparently hard
to resist.”
“That’s for sure,” I said.
“What I don’t understand,” Melinda continued, “is why you didn’t tell me what was going on once things got so tangled.”
Tessa grimaced. “I didn’t want you to second-guess making me CEO when you found out Logan and I are dating. He was the one who recommended it, after all.”
Melinda picked up her paper and crumpled it into a ball. “Tessa, I told you before. I loved his suggestion, but I based my decision on recognizing how perfect it was. And it’s only been a week, but already you’ve proven that we were both right in thinking you’d be great at this. So, now that we have this all figured out, we can all just move forward with all the exciting and awesome things we’re going to do with Booms and Nibbles in the future. Right?”
“Right,” Tessa agreed.
I, however, had something else to make sure of. “Can I just ask about the whole thing with your daughter? I mean, I’m not exactly her favorite person right now, and it’s kind of awkward.”
Melinda actually laughed. “Don’t worry, I won’t hold that against you. In fact, if you can manage to hold onto Damien so she can move on, I’ll be grateful for it. And she will move on, so don’t worry about that. She’s got a great career ahead of her, but she’s not good with relationships. It’s probably my fault. Well, and her dad’s. But she made the decision to break up with him, and now she’s gonna have to accept the regret from that. Sometimes we don’t learn our lesson until we lose somebody.”
Her words sank way deeper than she likely had any idea they would.
Was I about to make the same mistake that Victoria had in pushing Damien away? Somehow, I needed to figure that out before it was too late.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I worked late with Tessa to help her get ready for her trip—and to help make up for the trouble I’d caused her by being caught in the elevator with Damien. I’d also hoped that getting home late would make it easier to avoid Damien. At least until I figured out what in the heck I wanted to do with him.
I mean, I knew what I wanted to do with him. It involved a lot of kissing and holding and staring into his beautiful blue eyes. But I wasn’t sure if I was ready for what would come after that.
Was I too broken? I’d spent enough time running away from what the rest of the world seemed to be chasing to make me sure I was. And what sane, normal woman would be scared of being in a relationship with Damien?
No matter how busy I’d been the rest of the afternoon, I couldn’t shake the memory of his hunched shoulders. I kept picturing him hurting and being worried about me.
But then I turned onto our street and saw dozens of cars parked in front of our duplex.
The man was throwing another party? Now? He must not be too upset.
Not only that, but a certain Jeep with a “Daddy’s Princess” bumper sticker was parked on my driveway. Again.
I’d always thought the saying “seeing red” was an overstatement, but my brain went so hot with anger that, for a moment, I saw the world through a filter of flames.
Instead of parking at the end of the street and walking back, I parked sideways across both our driveways, blocking Jen and Damien in the driveway. And I wasn’t going to go talk to him about it either. Let them find out when she needed to leave and I was sound asleep for the night with earplugs in my ears. And maybe while he was out having a carefree good time with his friends, I’d find the answers I was looking for. On my own. Without him.
As I stormed inside, I was met by the sight of Victoria coming down the stairs in a scandalous bikini. Maybe it wouldn’t have been on me, but it was on her. Especially as she literally bounced down the steps, oblivious to the threat of major wardrobe malfunction.
“Hey, Krista. Coming to Damien’s party?”
“No.”
She blinked at me. “I hate it when you get all grim and silent.”
“Sorry.” I passed by her, heading up to the safety of my room. But I paused to say, “You might want to tuck things back in where they go. You’re about to show your nibbles as much as your booms.”
“Your jealousy is showing.”
“Still more attractive than what you’ve got on display. How much did Martin pay for those?”
I shouldn’t be catty. Really, I shouldn’t. Hadn’t I gotten past being jealous of curvy women? Hmmm. Maybe just the nice ones like Tessa. Girls like Victoria still made my claws come out.
Back in my room, I threw off my clothes and pulled on an old pair of leggings and my painting shirt while waiting to hear Victoria go outside. There it was, the faint but familiar sound of the sliding glass door moving on its track and the muffled strains of country music.
I was not curious about what was going on in Damien’s backyard. Or in his hot tub. Although maybe I should go watch to see if Victoria was successful in her obvious intentions to catch his eye.
But I was above that, so despite my raw, clawing curiosity, I headed into my studio and put a pair of earbuds in.
With my favorite playlist on, I began sketching on a new canvas. It took several stray lines before the inspiration buzzing in the back of my mind finally took over. At last an image began to evolve from the swirl of emotions and concepts currently tangled in my head.
One thing I knew. I didn’t need to hate my body anymore. I didn’t need to worry that I wasn’t all round and soft and bouncy. I was still feminine. My skin was soft. My neck and collarbones were striking and elegant. My chin was rounded and my lips full. But mostly, my womanhood wasn’t determined by whether or not I fit society’s ideals.
I sketched the same skinny figure that was the focus of so much of my work, but this time, instead of cringing away from unseen eyes or crouching in a vulnerable pose, she stood tall with her narrow hip stuck out to the side and her arms wrapped around herself in an embrace. This time there were no pointing fingers or judgmental eyes. It didn’t matter what others saw, only that she accepted herself.
Not in the way I’d always thought either. Even though I’d been tough and determined not to change for anyone, I’d never given myself permission to find myself beautiful.
Maybe all this time, I’d been afraid to let people into my life because I’d known my self-esteem was only surface-deep, like a protective shell.
Usually, I kept my sketches vague since I tended to see shape and proportion better once I began to paint, but this time, I even pressed down with the pencil to draw dark strokes, marking lines and shapes and yes, even curves, of a figure that was very much mine. The memory of how my waist and hips and shoulders had felt under Damien’s touch had completely changed my perception of my figure.
As peace flooded me, I became aware of a new, niggling emotion scratching at my awareness. I’d been rude to Victoria earlier. And even if she’d been a massive annoyance, I didn’t want to be part of tearing other women down because of their body. I had no idea if she’d gotten implants, but it didn’t matter. Who was I to judge someone for how they tried to feel good about themselves?
As usual when I worked on art that I really connected with, I lost all track of time. It took a firm shake on my shoulder to bring me out of my hyper-focus.
I jerked around to look over my shoulder as I yanked my earbuds out of my ears. It was Victoria.
“That’s really good.”
Surprised, because that was the last thing I’d expected her to say, I looked down at the canvas in front of me. Maybe she wasn’t all bad. “Thanks.”
“Are you going to paint it?”
“Yeah. After I get it sketched out.”
“From the way your mom talked, I had no idea you were so talented.”
I had no idea what to say to that, so I just sat and waited. My mom’s opinion of my work would always hurt.
“Oh. I’m sorry. Damien sent me up here to get you. Are you not talking to him or something?”
“I’m trying not to.” Which is why I put my earbuds back into my ears.
Victoria p
ulled them back out again. “He needs you to move your car.”
Remembering, I smiled in satisfaction. “Oh yeah. I forgot about that.”
“Sometimes, I wish you would smile, but you’re actually scarier when you do.”
“I know, right?” I put my pencil down, deciding I might as well go move my car. “And by the way, I’m sorry for the catty remark I made about your chest earlier.”
Victoria shrugged. “I’m used to dealing with jealousy. They’re natural, but no one believes it because I’m so thin.”
I nodded. She was probably right. Her supreme confidence was kind of off-putting, but I also had to admire it. And no doubt she had dealt with a lot of jealousy. That was a struggle I had never experienced, but I could still sympathize with her. We women needed to be kinder to each other—and to ourselves.
When I got downstairs, I grabbed my keys and went out to check for Damien in the front first. He wasn’t there, but Jen was. She sat in her Jeep with the windows down and music playing loudly enough to clash with what was coming from Damien’s speakers in the backyard. Her headlights almost blinded me, but I managed to walk past them without bumping into anything.
“Oh, hey. You came,” she said, looking up from her phone. “Sorry I have to leave early.”
“Uh, yeah. Just, next time, could you not park in my driveway?”
She smiled and actually looked nice as she did it. “Sure. Damien told me to park here. Like, he specifically told me to park here and nowhere else.”
I pressed my lips together. “Oh, he did, huh?”
She laughed. “Yep. I don’t know what you did to that man, but you obviously succeeded where the rest of us have failed.”
“That’s yet to be determined.”
Oh, Keep Your Shirt On: A Sweet Romantic Comedy (Shaped By Love Book 2) Page 15
