by Jill Kemerer
She bristled. Just because Nan didn’t remember something that happened over thirty years ago didn’t mean she’d grown senile.
“I was the one who was wrong,” she said. “I told you what the doctor said, and the longer I’m here, the more I agree with him.”
“Guys?” Ryder made a gesture for him to keep the pages moving.
Mason opened his mouth to say something, then must have thought better of it. He turned the page. And sucked in a breath.
Brittany instinctively placed her hand on his arm. When she’d found the album earlier, she’d almost skipped over the small news clipping. She was glad she hadn’t—but she didn’t know how either of the men would react to it.
“Is this what I think it is?” Ryder jabbed his finger into the book.
“Yes.” Mason lifted it closer to read the small print. “It’s a wedding announcement. John Fanning married Lisa Gatlin.” He continued to read the small paragraph, then turned to Ryder. “Brian Ditmore and Jennifer Hall were their attendants.”
A grin spread across Ryder’s face. “We have names.”
They high-fived each other, then rose and began to pace in opposite directions. Watching them was bizarre. Their bearing, their gait, even the tilt of their chins was identical. She couldn’t look away from them if she tried.
They stopped. Locked gazes.
“I’ll hunt down Jennifer’s information,” Ryder said.
“And I’ll track Brian,” Mason said.
“We’ll get answers,” they said simultaneously.
Mason turned to Brittany and held out his hand. She took it and let him help her to her feet. He drew her into a hug. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back. All his tender strength made her want to stay in his embrace forever. But he stepped away.
And Ryder took his place. Funny how Ryder’s arms around her should feel the same, but they didn’t. She patted his back.
“Want to see the other pictures?” She gestured to the albums. “I didn’t find any more of your parents, but there are some classic photos of us as kids.”
Ryder scooped up the album from the coffee table and plunked his long frame on the couch.
“This was the summer Mason and I decided we were going to be in the rodeo.” She shot Mason a grin, but his expression gave nothing away. “He, of course, was going to be a barrel racer. I, on the other hand, declared I wanted to try my hand at rodeo clown.”
“You talked Nan into getting you the makeup.” Mason had a soft smile on his face.
“She never could pass up a seventy-five-percent-off sale. I thought I did a good job with the makeup. I begged Nan to take a picture of us.”
“The outfit was right,” Mason said. “The rest of you was all wrong. And you never had to beg Nan much—she loved taking photos of you.”
“True.” She laughed. “We brought out a bale of hay from the barn. It was supposed to be our barrel. Then Mason came flying at me on his horse, and instead of running around the hay like I was supposed to, I sprinted to the barn, screaming all the way.”
“That was the end of that.” Mason chuckled. “I felt bad.”
“You did not.” She glared at him. “You told me I was a big sissy. I was sure your horse would trample me.”
“Well, I was eleven. And too big for my britches. Trying to show off and impress you.”
She lowered her chin. “You always impressed me, Mason.”
Ryder cleared his throat, gesturing to another picture. “Should I even ask what’s going on here?”
Mason leaned in, then guffawed.
“Until tonight, I’d forgotten about this.” She and Mason were older in the photo. Probably fourteen.
“Are you wearing a trucker hat, Brittany?” Ryder pressed his lips under to contain his laughter. “And cargo pants?”
“Hey, it was the style.” She pretended to be offended. “Just wait until the next page.”
“Wait!” Mason held out his hand. “It’s not what I’m thinking, is it?”
She gave him her sweetest smile and nodded for Ryder to turn the page.
“Dude!” Ryder let out a chortled laugh.
“Okay, show-and-tell is over.” Mason lunged for the album, but Ryder held it up and away from him.
“Are you...a pirate?” Ryder arched his eyebrows, then turned to Brittany. “Is my brother a Jack Sparrow wannabe?”
“I wasn’t a pirate. I’m not a wannabe.” He tried to grab the album again, but Ryder stood and hugged it tightly.
“To be fair, I only asked him if I could dress him up because I didn’t want to go fly-fishing.”
“You told me it was an assignment you couldn’t get out of.” Mason sounded a bit growly.
“For what?” Ryder laughed. “Pirate school?”
“My dance instructor told us to explore the possibilities and to let the world inspire us. Mason and I had gone to see Pirates of the Caribbean the night before. And Elizabeth Swann made a huge impression on me. It made me want to choreograph a dance with her as the lead.”
“And I, being the nice guy I am, agreed to be Jack Sparrow so she could get into character.”
“You were wonderful.” She stood and pecked Mason on the cheek.
“Well, you didn’t leave me much choice. And I want that picture burned.”
Ryder shook his head. “No way. The picture stays.”
They sat down and went through the rest of the album. Ryder teased Mason, and Brittany filled in the story gaps. By the time they’d finished, she couldn’t suppress her yawns anymore.
“I’m going back.” She gathered the albums. “I’ll make copies of the wedding announcement and the picture of your parents for you both.”
“I’ll walk you to the door.” Mason followed her to the entrance. She put her coat on and turned to say goodbye.
His expression silenced her, though. His eyes held appreciation. And hunger. For her.
He ran the back of his index finger along the hair next to her face. It sent a shiver down her spine. He moved closer to her. She had to tilt her head to see his face. Whatever she’d been expecting there, she didn’t find because he lowered his mouth and her lips parted. He must have taken it as an invitation, and she was thankful he did. Because when his lips touched hers, the past rushed back in a million sensations.
He was better than the pictures, better than the memories.
He was better than she remembered.
She sank into his embrace and kissed him back. His hands tightened around her waist.
How could she have gone all these years without his strength? He’d been her rock growing up. And this—being in his arms, tasting the wild cowboy, the fierce protector, the tender man all in one—made her wonder why she ever thought living in another state would work.
It had been ten long years without those arms around her. She couldn’t bear another ten without them.
Could she really go back to California when everything she wanted was right here?
He broke away abruptly and averted his gaze, running his hand through his hair.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have...” He was shaking his head with a dazed look on his face.
Her spirits dropped like a stone to the bottom of the ocean. Once again, she was just a big regret to Mason.
“Don’t sweat it.” She opened the door. “Happens to the best of us.”
She slipped out the door and hurried to Nan’s truck.
Lord, what’s wrong with me? Why do I want the one man I can’t have? And why do I think it would be any different this time around if I could? The bank will be calling soon.
As she fired up the truck, she reached the only logical conclusion.
Mason was right. He shouldn’t have kissed her.
Chapter Eleven
Mason tried to pay attention to the sermon the next morning in church, but his mind kept bouncing around. Bill had cornered him on the way in, asking him to come out to his ranch this morning to check cattle. He knew what that meant. Bill wanted to speak to him in private. What did his father-in-law need to discuss? Was he going to question his abilities as a father and rancher again? Or had he somehow found out he’d kissed Brittany?
Speaking of Brittany...the woman looked like an adventure waiting to happen two rows up on the other side of the aisle. Sure, she was sitting still as could be, her face glowing as she listened intently. But he knew what lurked beneath her serene expression—possibilities.
After last night’s kiss, he could no longer pretend he wasn’t affected by her. He also couldn’t deny that it was a betrayal of all he held dear. Possibilities and adventures with her were off-limits to him. It would dishonor Mia’s memory.
He waited for a pit in his stomach to form, but it didn’t.
God, I keep expecting my conscience to kick me around and get me back on track. What am I doing? I shouldn’t have kissed Brittany. Was it loneliness? The holidays? It can’t happen again. You’re the One who got me through the past three years. Please get me through this, too. Just get me through the next week. Brittany will go back in California, and I’ll go back to...
An empty house on Friday nights and a pile of bills that would take years to pay off.
“Daddy?” Noah tapped his sleeve. “I’m hungwy.”
Mason reached into the small backpack he always brought to church. He handed Noah a baggie of crackers and pulled out two more for Ivy and Harper, who sat on the other side of Noah. Ryder was on the end next to them.
Before the service started, they’d been met by many curious stares. Mason was prepared to be bombarded with questions after. He’d much rather answer questions about his twin than have a private conversation with Bill about who knew what.
Seriously, what did the man want? His tone had been disapproving, but then, it usually was.
The opening strains of “As with Gladness Men of Old” began playing, and he opened his hymnal. As he sang the first verse, he was struck by the message. Christmas was a time for rejoicing, but in the years since Mia had died, he’d stopped rejoicing. Instead, he’d dragged through each day, each season, each holiday.
He’d been barely getting by for a long time.
He longed for something different.
What was he saying? He had something different—he had a twin now.
His gaze fell on Brittany. She’d breezed into town and given him his brother. She’d encouraged him to remember Mia. She’d even made it okay to think fondly on all the memories they’d shared as kids.
She’d given him back things that had been lost, and a part of him longed to have her back, too.
No.
He’d had the love of his life—and she’d died.
Besides, Brittany had goals, dreams and plans in California that didn’t include him.
He’d get through the holidays. He’d forget about her.
But what if he didn’t want to forget about her? She made him feel whole again.
Could he really spend the rest of his life as a hollowed-out shell of the man he used to be?
* * *
Whatever happened during the rest of her stay in Rendezvous, Brittany would never forget Mason’s kiss from last night. She didn’t want to forget it. She wanted to hold it in her hands and tuck it away to the safest place in her heart for proof that once upon a time, she’d mattered to someone.
The poinsettias lining the pulpit and Christmas tree up front made her smile. Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year.
Brittany returned her attention to the pastor’s sermon. Something about God’s plans being better than our own. He mentioned Mary and Joseph.
At the mention of Jesus’s mother, Brittany thought of her own mother and couldn’t hold back a grimace. Mom had bailed on her countless times growing up. Her job had always been more important than her daughter, and she’d never let Brittany forget it.
Don’t think about Mom. Get out of your head and listen to what the pastor’s saying.
“God is mighty and has done great things. Holy is His name,” the pastor said. “Let us pray.”
She bowed her head. God, I see the way You’ve protected me all my life. So much of what I want is out of my grasp, though. There’s a good chance the bank will call in a day or two and turn me down like all the others did. And I’m almost thirty and I haven’t had a lasting relationship with anyone since leaving here ten years ago.
Sometimes she had the feeling if she looked closely at why she wanted a studio, she wouldn’t like the answer.
The next hymn started playing, and Nan covered Brittany’s hand with hers. “It’s good to have you here, honey.”
Her heart swelled. She was overlooking one of her biggest blessings. Nan. “I’m very happy to be here. I love you.”
When church ended, she helped Nan down the aisle. A swarm of people surrounded Mason and Ryder. Ryder held a twin on each hip, and Mason carried Noah. Their resemblance wasn’t as shocking to her now that she’d been around both of them. Brittany hitched her chin to them and smiled.
“Brittany, just the person I wanted to see.” Gretchen Sable’s face lit up as she approached. “I wanted you to meet my nephew, Judd Wilson.”
The man next to Gretchen appeared to be in his early thirties. His chin was ducked in an embarrassed manner. When he met her eyes, he nodded. “Ma’am.”
Boy, he was handsome. Pure cowboy with that tangle of dark hair, deep blue eyes, a thin gap between his front teeth and a slight hook to his nose. Too bad she didn’t get even a flutter of butterflies.
“Nice to meet you.” She pasted on a smile and extended her hand. He shook it.
“Pardon me.” He gave her a cursory nod. “I’ve got pregnant cows to check.”
A real romantic. Brittany stifled a chuckle and waved goodbye.
“Judd owns a large cattle ranch south of here, and he’s single.” Gretchen took her by the arm. “Why don’t I set you two up on a date?”
“Umm...” She tried not to wince, but was Gretchen serious? The last thing Brittany needed was a blind date here in Rendezvous.
“Let her get through a Sunday service before you start matchmaking, Gretch.” Lois unhooked the woman’s hand from Brittany’s arm. “Sorry about that, darlin’. She worries Judd will never get married if she doesn’t intervene soon.”
“He’s quite handsome,” Brittany said. “I’m sure he’ll be off the market before you know it.”
“He is good-looking. A catch. But I want him to have the right kind of lady.” Gretchen’s tone reeked of discouragement. “Not like Misty Sandpiper or that Boone girl.”
She made a mental note not to ask about the Boone girl, certain it would open an ugly can of worms.
“Which Boone girl?” Nan chimed in.
“The youngest. Stella,” Gretchen huffed. “Did you hear what she did last night?”
“What?” Lois was all ears.
“She drove smack into the back end of Dirk Smither’s car.”
Lois let out a low whistle as she herded them to the coatracks. “She must be getting desperate if she’s causing accidents to get his attention.”
“Maybe her car hit a patch of ice.” Brittany hadn’t meant to join the conversation, but there could be an innocent explanation, right?
Lois snorted. “Yeah, like she just happened to lose her dog at Judd’s ranch last summer? We all know her Chihuahua is an indoor lapdog. The tiny thing would have been eaten by a coyote before it ever made it six miles to his ranch. And what about her car breaking down right in front of Cash McCoy’s house in the fall? What was she doing out on Grizzly Peak Road for her car to break do
wn out there?”
Brittany had to give this Stella credit. The girl sounded inventive. She knew how to get a man’s attention.
“I’m glad she’s sniffing around Dirk instead of Judd. I wish Gabby would give him a chance, but she’s always going on about not dating cowboys. A pity.” Gretchen pointed to her. “What this town needs is a nice girl like you, Brittany.”
“Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” Nan smiled at her.
Gratitude expanded in her chest. They wanted her. How sweet it was to be wanted, even by women her grandmother’s age.
Life in Santa Ana didn’t seem as satisfying as it used to be. Since Brittany had been here, she hadn’t talked to a single person from back home.
No one missed her. And she didn’t miss anyone except the girls she taught. But they’d move on as they graduated. They all did.
“You’d have your pick of the cowboys—they need someone smart and pretty and fun like you,” Gretchen assured her.
Her pick of the cowboys... Brittany looked backward over her shoulder at Mason. His eyes met hers, and his lips curved in acknowledgment before someone else grabbed his attention.
There was only one cowboy she’d ever wanted.
She still wanted him.
Her heart coiled into a knot.
“I do feel bad for Sandy Boone, though.” Lois handed Nan’s coat to her. “With Stella acting like a tart and Nicole’s husband in the hospital, it’s a wonder she’s holding it together as well as she is this Christmas.”
“Nicole?” Nan asked, buttoning her coat. “The middle girl?”
“Yes. Remember she married the Taylor boy? Aaron?”
Nan looked confused.
“The one who found out he had muscular dystrophy in high school? Nicole and Aaron were inseparable. The whole town knew they’d be together forever by the time they were in third grade.”
Gretchen clasped her hands. “I didn’t know Aaron was hospitalized. Is it serious?”
“I don’t know, but they could sure use our prayers.” Lois shook her head. “When I think of Nicole knowing his health problems and marrying him regardless...” She blinked, appearing to be choked up. “That’s love.”
