Fuck, I missed him so much already.
He was my rock. Sure, he was fucked up beyond belief — a raging alcoholic, a violent prick most days and a brooding, smoldering fire ready to explode on others, but still — he was my Dad.
He was what he was, and he was all I had. Well, I had Eli, too, but that’s not the same. Eli’s my twin, though you’d never know because we look nothing alike. I’m big and wide and dark and he’s tall and blonde and muscular — and, as much as I hate to admit it, he’s the handsomest of the two of us.
Good looks aside, Eli and I are equals.
Dad was someone we both looked up to, someone we revered like no other, someone we respected, despite all of his fucked-up flaws.
And now, he’d been ripped from our lives with the slam of the judge’s gavel and who the hell knows when he’ll see the other side of the wall again. Men like Dad go in and never come out, no matter how long their initial sentence is. Shit happens on the inside, it sucks you in, like a goddamned tornado ripping through your life and destroying your past and any hope of a fucking future, all at the same time.
I didn’t hold any illusions about Dad having a future outside of prison. He belonged to the Oregon State penile system now. He wasn’t my Dad, he was merely a number now. He was barely human, striped of all his rights and enslaved.
Doing time.
Doing life.
“Within a few years, the tiny club started by our Dad and Uncle Rebel had grown from a no-name club to a full-fledged outlaw gang, respected and well-known by all the other real clubs on the West Coast,” I continued. “We quickly became known for never turning down the hardest jobs. We were fearless, because we were family. We knew we had each other’s backs, no matter what. That confidence allows you to take risks you might not take otherwise.”
“We can relate to that,” Ryder said. I looked over at him, and he was listening intently. He had dark, serious eyes and I had his full attention. Confidence rolled off him like a heat wave.
“I like to think the other thing we were known and respected for was our sense of fairness. We did our best not to resort to violence, unless it was absolutely necessary. We worked with people. Someone owed us money? Well, we’d give them a little time. We’d negotiate. Give a little, get a little. Dad was always good to people, unless you crossed him.”
“That’s where Uncle Rebel went wrong,” Eli said.
“Yeah,” I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest like a drum as I thought about everything that had happened. It was all so fast, so fucking violent and bloody. And then it was just over and we were all still reeling from the consequences.
“What happened?” Riot asked.
“Dad was in love, for the first time in a long time. Mom died fifteen years ago, when Eli and I were just teenagers, before Eli took off and spent that year in the Army, so it was weird seeing him get serious with someone again. He’d spent the years in between being a misogynist pig, keeping his heart tucked safely away. But then came Savannah. Savannah was young, but not too young. She was smitten with him. They’d been together a year or so when everything went down. I still don’t know why Uncle Rebel did it, and I guess we’ll never know. But Dad came back to the clubhouse early from a job in the middle of the night and well…,” I paused, taking a deep breath as it all rushed back, “He heard her screaming when he opened the front door. He ran into his bedroom, it was pitch black. Rebel was on top of her.. But Dad didn’t know who it was, he just pulled his gun and shot him. The bullet ripped through Rebel’s back and exited through the front, hitting Savannah in the face. They both died. Dad went to prison for life. And here we are.”
“You’re right, that’s not a pretty story, brother,” Slade whispered gently.
“It is what it is,” I shrugged, trying to shake off the feeling of doom that had landed heavily on my shoulders.
“Sorry, man,” Riot said, shaking his head.
“Thanks,” I said. I turned to Ryder and met his gaze. He nodded slowly before speaking.
“Thanks for sharing that with us,” he said. “After all that, you still want to be a part of another outlaw club?”
“It’s all we know,” I replied. “It’s all we’ve ever known. We’ve been patched in since we were eighteen. Like I said, Eli took off for a year, joined up with the Army, but that didn’t work out so well.”
“I was a big drinker back then,” Eli said. “Fucked up pretty badly one night in Afghanistan, put my platoon in danger. They let me go, they were merciful and didn’t lock me up, even though they damned well should have.
“We don’t know how to do anything else,” I said, “and last I heard, listing your work as a patched member of an outlaw club on a resume is frowned upon.”
“I suppose you’re right about that,” Riot said, smiling. “You didn’t want to continue running the Loyal Gentlemen yourselves?”
“No, man, the name is tainted,” Fury said. “Like a fucking curse…”
“I see,” Slade said, nodding his head. “Makes sense…"
“Let me take a few minutes now to tell you about us,” Ryder said. “As I mentioned, we aren’t your usual club. But, before I do, I’m going to ask you to keep everything I’m about to tell you to yourselves. We do our best to keep our business quiet and once I explain, you’ll understand why. It’s possible you might not be interested afterwards and that’s fine by us, but we’d like to ask you to keep our business confidential.”
“We can do that,” Eli said. Fury and I nodded.
“Great,” Ryder said. “My dad started the Gods of Chaos and handed it off to me over ten years ago. Zander and Doc and I were the only remaining members for a long time. But Doc passed away and Zander retired. Riot’s my VP now and Slade, Bones and Wreck make up the rest of the club. A few years ago, I met a woman named Grace. To make a very long story short, we fell in love and started an organization together to help women, and men, too, when necessary, get out of situations that they need a little help escaping from. We help victims who can’t call the cops, for whatever reason. Or, victims who need a little extra hand up from unusual circumstances. Every case is different. Every case requires all kinds of pooled resources and most are quite risky and dangerous. We operate outside of the law, doing whatever it takes to get the job done, although we do have a few cops who help us out from time to time.”
I nodded, taking in his words.
“So, you’re not running drugs or guns?” Fury asked.
“Not anymore,” Ryder replied. “We have a very generous benefactor that we managed to free from a very dangerous situation and with her help, we’re able to support ourselves and provide whatever tools or resources are necessary for each case.”
“Where do you find all these women in need of your services?” Eli asked.
“They find us, usually,” Riot replied. “We’ve cast a wide net and have people out on the lookout for people who might need our help. We have a national hotline now. But sometimes, like our latest case, we stumble upon situations that need a different kind of attention.”
“So, you’re like a bunch of underground superheroes?” Eli asked.
“We don’t like to think of ourselves as heroes,” Ryder said, shaking his head. “We’re just a bunch of people trying to do the right thing. I don’t really believe so much in God, but I believe in karma. We spent a lot of time doing things that didn’t contribute too much good in the world. This is us trying to make up for some of that. And, I can’t speak for the others, but it’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
“Damn,” I said, nodding. “Sounds like you’re on the right track.”
“It’s good work,” Riot said. “Unfortunately, there’s a lot of darkness out there in the world. A lot of shady shit that goes down and not enough of us. We need a few more good, loyal, fearless men that are just as passionate as we are about our mission. Right now, we’re facing a very difficult situation. We’ve got some intel about a sex trafficking ring run b
y another club. Unfortunately, they know us, so we need some unfamiliar faces to assist in bringing them down. Grace is going to go in undercover and I need some men I can trust to go in with her. That’s what we’re looking for from you, if you’re up to the task. If all goes well, then we’d look at bringing you on full-time.”
I looked over at Eli and Fury, all the bad shit we’d done together flashing before my eyes. All the blood and sweat and sleepless nights, the eyes of fearful men haunting my dreams…
I’d spoken to them both about it before. They were my closest allies. I knew they felt the same way I did, I knew they wanted out of the life, but were just as convinced as I had been that that door would never open.
Maybe now, though…
Maybe this was it. The door we’d been waiting for.
All we had to do was walk through it and we’d be on the other side of that bloody nightmare we’d come from.
“When I was a little boy,” I said, “I never imagined I’d be an outlaw biker. I always thought I’d be a fireman, or a doctor, maybe even a priest, but that was before I lost all faith in any church, or future, for that matter. But my point is, I always thought I’d do good things. Then, Dad started the club and it was just assumed that we’d join up when we were old enough. Any plan of doing any good in the world disappeared the first time I pulled on my cut. I don’t know about these two, but if there’s a way I can turn that around, if it’s not too late for even a little redemption, then I’m all in.”
“I’m in,” Eli said.
“Me, too,” Fury said, nodding firmly.
“If you’ll have us, Ryder, then we’d be honored to help you out.”
“Okay, then,” Ryder said, standing up. “You’ve just got to impress the boss and we’re in business.”
“The boss?” I asked. “I thought you were the President.”
“Oh, I am, of the Gods,” he said, exchanging a glance with a smirking Slade. “But Grace is the real boss around here. Have a seat, boys, she’ll be in soon. A little warning, though. She’s all business. Tough as nails and mean as an angry mule. It takes a long time for her to warm up, so don’t let her make you too nervous.”
“Shit, okay,” I muttered.
The three of them walked out, leaving us alone in the room.
I looked around at the two of them and smiled.
“Well?” I asked.
“Does this mean we’re going to heaven now?” Eli asked, winking.
“Shit,” I said. “If Grace doesn’t like us, I’m afraid where we’ll end up.”
“You think she’s really such a hard ass?” Eli asked.
“I think you better keep your hand off her ass if you wanna walk out of here with all your limbs intact.”
“That’s not what I meant, for fuck’s sake,” Eli said. “Why is everything sexual with you, you fucking pervert?”
“I’m just saying,” I shrugged. “Keep it professional.”
“I should have brought my coat and tie,” Fury joked.
“I need another shot,” I said, pouring more whiskey for me and Fury. Ryder’s description had unnerved me a little. I wasn’t sure what to expect and the minutes ticked by slowly as we waited.
I took a long deep breath as the door opened.
Grace walked in and I stifled a gasp. She was beautiful. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, cascading down her back. She was petite, but very fit, her arms rippling with hard muscles. In contrast, her gentle smile and soft eyes greeted us warmly and I knew we’d been had, that Ryder had been screwing with us.
She looked as kind and gentle as a puppy.
The three of us exhaled together and burst out laughing as she sat down at the table.
“Hi, fellas, I’m Grace,” she said, flashing us an angelic smile. “I hear you’re looking for a new job.”
CHAPTER 6
RYDER
“I liked them,” Grace said, as she nestled into my arms late that night. We’d turned out all the lights and crawled into bed together, my favorite part of every day since I’d met her. I pulled her close to my chest, her hair brushing up against my chin like silk. Inhaling deeply, I sunk my face into the softness, wanting to bathe in her perfume.
She was everything to me.
She was the light, the breath, the beauty that kept my heart pumping blood through my veins. I laughed at the man I was before I met her, when I thought I knew what life was all about. I knew nothing.
Grace had taught me things I wasn’t even aware I didn’t know.
She taught me humility and integrity and what true loyalty and family really meant. Now, all these years later, our souls were woven together, our very purpose in life shared. From the moment we opened our eyes each morning to this moment here, the quiet stillness shared after a fulfilling, exhausting day — each hour that we spent side-by-side was in pursuit of a better world.
Grace was the wind in my sail.
She showed me what my true purpose in life was supposed to be.
I’d wasted so many years partying, hating myself, brooding about the hand I’d been dealt. I tried not to think about those years, because I didn’t want to live with regret. I didn’t have much time for retrospection anyway.
Our days were filled with figuring out logistics and budgets and safe plans and fielding phone calls and having meetings with Riot and every now and then, we had to bust into a place and show a little force. Some cases were more dramatic than others. Sometimes a little blood spilled. But a lot of the time, just showing up went a long way towards getting the result we desired. Other times, money was a convenient tool.
We had lots of tools at our disposal, thankfully.
Most valuable of course being our intuition, intelligence and street smarts. Social graces could get you far. Charm could be wielded like a weapon against the right person.
I knew all of this, and I knew Grace possessed all of those skills. Still, I hated the idea of her going anywhere near those pricks the Vipers. This was the hardest part of our jobs. Knowing every time we put our asses on the line, there was a risk of losing each other.
She’d suffered through it countless times herself.
For most cases, Grace stayed in the background. Pulling strings and organizing things, she focused on those sorts of details and left the heavy lifting to us usually. Rarely did I find myself on this side of the situation.
But who was I to say no? Who did that make me if I put my fear ahead of everything else?
I had to trust that this situation would turn out successful, just as all of the others. Would I worry and be filled with torturous anguish until it was over? Fuck yes.
But I signed up for this life and this was part of it.
I guess I should be grateful it wasn’t a common occurrence, and I was, but that didn’t make it any less miserable right now.
“Did you like them, too? I think I should take Nate with me, he’s the biggest and scariest. And I think we should go in tomorrow.”
“They seemed like straight-up dudes, from what I can tell. Hard to know someone’s character right away.”
“That’s not what you said when you first met me,” she said, pressing her naked hip into my side. My body stirred, that familiar warmth washing over me.
“You’d already been lying in my bed for a few days before we first met,” I replied, the memories washing over me. I’d found Grace on the side of our dirt road, passed out and about to be killed by her pimp. I took her home and nursed her back to health, not knowing she was an undercover cop at the time. Wouldn’t have mattered, though, I’d have done everything the same even if I’d known. When she woke up with amnesia, looking at me with those huge, trusting eyes, my heart woke up from what I was sure was a permanent death.
“I could tell by the way you slept,” I joked. “I watched you constantly, looking for signs of life…and signs of evil.”
She laughed, a soft, slow laugh that ripped right through my chest.
“That’s kin
d of creepy,” she whispered.
“I never claimed to be a saint, Grace,” I shrugged.
She laughed again and I couldn’t take it anymore.
Forget talking about dangerous situations, forget worrying about what might happen tomorrow. Right now, the most incredible woman in the world was lying naked in my bed and every minute not spent devouring her deliciousness was a colossal waste of time, as far as I was concerned.
Gently, I pulled her chin up, kissing her slowly and deeply, the hardness between my legs instantly throbbing. She moaned and pressed into me.
“I’m glad you’re not a saint,” she murmured. I trailed kisses down her neck, slowly, inch by inch, until she moaned again, her song of desire my greatest reward.
CHAPTER 7
NATE
I drove Grace’s black Mustang through the dark, rainy streets of southeast Portland. Maneuvering down the narrow lanes of Division Street, we dodged hungry hipsters darting across the road to get to the latest trendiest bars and restaurants. The pouring rain made it even more difficult to spot them in the dark, with the street lights and headlights of other cars shooting glares across my vision like shooting stars.
“I remember when practically the only thing on this street was a porn theatre and a lesbian bar,” Grace said. “They tore down the lesbian bar a few years ago and put up a block of condos.”
“I’m surprised the porn theater is still standing.”
“Everything changes,” she said. “Probably won’t be long before they tear it down, too. So, you and Eli grew up in Salem, right?”
“Born and raised,” I said.
“What was it like growing up in the club?”
“Don’t have much to compare it to, so to us, it was normal. Honestly, I felt safe. I’d visit my friends and they didn’t have a ten foot tall barbed wire fence around their house, or big, burly dudes with guns standing guard like we did at home. I remember always checking the locks on my friend’s front doors before we’d go to sleep.”
“Interesting that you felt safe, instead of afraid,” she said.
SAVING GRACE: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK SIX) Page 4
