I make my way over to the deck, the building is crowded with students and parents. Drake pulls me along, making sure no one bumps into me. I spot Ronny, Chloe and Rachel and I go over to them and congratulate them. I don’t see Jax anywhere on the crowded deck.
We’ve been here for a couple of hours and it’s nearly midnight, I truly have missed spending time with all my friends. I miss the good times we all used to have. As it gets closer to my birthday, the more nervous I’ve become. Alex says if I was to turn it may not exactly happen at twelve on the dot so I just have to be cautious, I might not even turn at all and I may just stay human. There’s also the chance that I might not survive if I was to shift so I’m trying to spend as much time with my friends and Drake as possible. I know I should tell them what’s going on but then they wouldn’t be sitting here care-free enjoying their night like they are now. If I don’t make it, I want to have my last moments with them just like this….happy. I have written each of them letters in case my turn isn’t successful.
Drake pulls me into his chest and I cuddle into him closer, I lift my head to give him a kiss, “I love you so much Drake.” He smiles down at me with his sparkling brown eyes and says, “I love you more than you know Lexi, I’m so excited to plan for our future, you are all I need Lexi…” he kisses me and I hear a growl.
I look behind me and I see Chelsea standing there glaring at me, I feel Drake tense underneath me.
What the hell is going on?
“LEXI! Come here, I have something for you!” Ronny yells taking my thoughts away from what just happened. I make my way over to her.
“What’s up Ron?” I ask her, she’s sitting on a lounging sofa with Chloe, I sit on Chloe’s lap earning myself a soft growl from Ron, Chloe giggles underneath me.
“We have something for you Lex.” Chloe says handing me a gift bag.
“Why did you buy me something?” I ask them confused.
“We know it’s your birthday tomorrow Lexi and I know you missed your graduation so you could watch us graduate. Don’t worry, only Chloe and I know about your birthday tomorrow. Well…actually now…Happy Birthday babe.” Ronny says looking at the time on her cellphone.
12:32am….
“Happy Birthday Lexi!” Chloe whispers and hugs me.
I feel a tear trail down my face as the kindness of these two girls. I love them so much. “Thank you guys…you don’t know how much this means to me. I don’t know what I would do without you two.”
“We know, we love you to Lex, open your present!” Ronny says excitedly.
I look inside the bag and pull out a little black box, I open it slowly and it reveals a black leather bangle with two pendants hanging off it. A wolf and a moon….
I look at Ronny and Chloe and they have the exact same one on their wrists.
“Thank you guys so much! I love you.” I give each of them a hug. We sit there chatting for another hour as the people start to leave. I notice Drake isn’t around, so I get up to look for him but I can’t find him anywhere when I bump into Rachel.
“Hey Lex, Drake went home, he wasn’t feeling well. You can get a lift back with us.”
This confuses me…why didn’t he tell me?
We reach the pack house, as I step into the door I immediately sense Jax’s presence. I don’t know why and it scares me, I look around but he’s nowhere in sight. I shake it off and make my way up to Drakes room.
I’m just in front of his door when I hear Ronny shout, “No! Don’t open it Lexi!” but I’ve already opened the door, the room is dark but I can hear moans and grunting.
I let go of the door and step away as realization hits me, Drakes in there with someone else.
That’s why he left me at the restaurant…he brought someone home.
CHAPTER 40:
Ronny comes running up to me followed by the others, I can feel Jax’s presence now as if he is standing right by me but in fact he is at the end of the hallway.
“I’m so sorry Lex, this shouldn’t have happened!” Ronny yells as she slams Drakes door shut.
I stand there frozen as the tears fall, I can’t form words…how could he do this to me, after everything he’s put me through? He built me up just to tear me down…he’s done this over and over and this is the final straw.
Drake’s door opens and a pale looking Drake steps out with only boxes on. “Lexi…” he reaches out for me but I step away.
“No Lexi…please…” he tries again but I continue to back away from him until the wall is behind me. Ronny steps in front of him so he can't get any closer to me.
He looks remorseful and I can see the regret forming in his face. His door opens wider and a disheveled looking Chelsea steps out wearing only Drakes shirt he had on hours before with a big grin on her face.
I bend over trying to catch my breath and stop the tears from falling. My hand clutches over my heart at the sharp pain.
“Get back!” Drake growls at her, she looks shaken for a minute then she smiles again, watching me as she wraps her hands around his waist. “Why don’t you come back to bed baby, what do you say to round three?”
“Round three…” I mumble realizing that they’ve already gone at it twice before I got here.
“Get off me!” Drake shouts at her full of rage, she lets go then steps back.
“Lexi please, you don’t understand, I just found out tonight…she’s my mate.”
“So that’s okay? She’s your mate? That gives you the right to leave me there so you can come home and screw your mate!” I scream through sobs. I see him flinch and the hurt that appears in his face.
“I'm so sorry. I so sorry.” He says looking down, I watch as the tears fall from his very own face.
“That’s not good enough Drake! What happened to me being the one you need, you said you didn’t need a mate and that you would at least try to make us work when you did find her! What happened Drake? You couldn’t even do that for me? I’ve given up everything for you, I changed myself to fit you. I stayed with you Drake , I chose you! Even after you threatened me for leaving you and even after all the shit you did and put me through! I CHOSE YOU!!!” I scream as the tears continue to fall down my face.
“No Lexi, I choose you too, now that I got her out of my wolf’s system, we can be together…I love you babe, I don’t want her!” he shouts and the smirk that was on Chelsea’s face is rapidly gone and replaced by tears.
“W…what? How can you say that? I’m your mate! We are meant to be together!” she asks Drake.
“No Chelsea! You were my mate, I love Lexi…I can’t give her up. We would never work Chelsea, you’ve basically slept with the whole pack, what would they think of me if we were together? I’m going to be the Beta, my girl should be mine only! Lexi is that girl!” Drake says angrily snarling at Chelsea. She continues to stand there speechless.
“You think I’m going to stay with you? You are crazy Drake! You need help! You continue to break me down just to fix me up and when I’m just about healed, you ruin me again! I’m done Drake! I’m so fucking broken. I will never be completely healed if I stay with you. Stay with her, keep her Drake because you both deserve each other! You never deserved all the love I gave you…I’m done Drake…I’m done with all of this...I’m so fucking done.” I say wiping away my finally tear.
“No Lex, don’t say that.” he says pushing past Ronny to get to me, I move away from him and bump into Jax. My body feels like I’ve been slightly shocked, physically, the electrical currents course through me, I have Goosebumps down my back. My body is on high alert around Jax and I don’t know what is going on.
I look up to meet his beautiful emerald eyes, my whole body relaxes and I completely forget about Drake and what just happened. I’m in awe of what Jax is doing to me by just touching me. The only thing on my mind is Jax. Everyone else blurs as all my attention is solely fixated on him.
“What’s...happening to me?” I whisper staring into those green eyes.
“You
’re my mate baby…” he says I look up and smile at him then reach out to put my hands on his chest; I need to touch him and feel him beneath my fingers. He’s magnetic and he’s drawing me in…until he stops me and steps back.
“This can’t happen Alexia, we can’t happen…I’m sorry.” Jax says flatly not looking in my eyes as he backs away.
“W…what?” I say taken aback, I feel unbearable sorrow coursing through me and I can’t control it no matter how hard I’m trying to be strong.
“You’re human Lex, you are weak. You would never survive the shift if I was to turn you. I’m sorry Lexi but you are fragile…I can’t have a weak Luna. You won’t be able to bear my cubs and I need to continue the blood line.” He says giving me a disgusted look making me take a few steps back.
“No Jax wait, I’m not-” I mumble trying to form the words but he doesn’t let me finish.
“No, it doesn’t matter it has to end this way, I have to… I have to reject you.” Jax says emotionless backing away from me.
As soon as the words reject leave his lips… I bend over in pain, clutching my heart. I lean against the wall holding myself up but Ronny and Rachel keep me from falling.
“How could you do this Jax?” Ronny growls harshly looking at Jax full of digust.
“I have to Ronny, she needs to understand…I’m doing this for her.” Jax says sadly.
The more he speaks and the closer he is, the worse the pain…I don’t know what’s happening to me, my heart feels like it’s going to explode, even after everything that’s been done to me, I can't bear the pain. Everything comes back to me, all the flashbacks, all the memories and all the hurt I’ve experienced comes crashing down on me like a ton of bricks.
Drake, Chloe, Mark and Jax stand close but they don’t come near. I can’t control the tears that roll down my cheeks. The pain is unbearable but I’m not crying because of the pain, I’m crying because Jax doesn’t think I’m good enough for him. He’s never admitted it out loud before and that shatters me.
“Ronny…what’s…happening?” I say trying to catch my breath.
“I’m sorry Lex, it’s the rejection. I don’t know how it works with humans… the pain should weaken eventually but you have to accept his rejection in order for the pain to stop completely.” Ronny says sadly.
There’s a voice in the back of my head telling me not to accept it… just to be strong and show Jax that I’m not the weak girl he sees. Even though my conscience is telling me to hold on, the broken heart within me is telling me to accept his rejection and get the hell away from these boys who have destroyed the person I was.
I was in control of my emotions before I came here, I could keep it inside of me and it made me stronger. It’s true, since I have been here, I’ve become weak and I’m sick of it. I’m tired of people walking all over me and treating me like shit. I will no longer be that weak fragile human that Jax thinks I am.
If he doesn’t want me…then he won’t have me.
“I accept….I accept!” I scream out waiting for the pain to stop.
The pain eases and I fall to the ground taking in deep breaths, I can sense Jax and I still have feelings for him but it’s not as magnified as it was before. The hurt I feel from everything that has happened today trumps any feelings I have left for Drake and Jax. Hopefully with time the bond will disappear.
I tremble as I lift my body off the floor and ignore Jax and Drake as Rachel and Ronny help me downstairs to my car. We collapse on the grass with the girls on either side of me.
“What the fuck just happened? How could I be Jax’s mate when he already has you? You haven’t bonded with Chloe yet have you?” I ask as I catch my breath.
“My wolf already believes Chloe is our mate. She’s our second chance mate but no we haven’t fully bonded yet. Remember we explained to you about second chance mates? It’s the mate the fates send you when you are rejected or your mate dies. We only get two Lexi, you were his second and last chance. I can’t believe he fucked it up.” she says running her hands through her hair.
I’m exhausted…physically and emotionally. I want to get away and never come back. My sorrow and hurt runs too deep and I focus all my energy on shutting it all away until all I fell is…nothing.
I don’t feel anything, I don’t want to feel anything. I want to be the person I was before I came here, before I knew all about all this werewolf shit but I know I will never be that girl again.
“Wow…what a birthday right.” I say sarcastically resting my head in my hands over my knees.
“Birthday?” Drake and Jax say, I only notice now that they were standing behind me the entire time. Both look regretful but I couldn’t be bothered. I look them over, I no longer feel the uncontrollable love I felt for them before, I've shut all of that off now, I feel nothing towards them…not even hate…nothing.
“Yeah you dumb shits! It’s her birthday! You two only think about your fucking selves!” Ronny yells standing up looking at them, I watch as her eyes darken.
“Don’t talk to Drake like that!” Chelsea growls coming out the house.
“He deserves the way I’m speaking to him for getting in bed with your skanky ass!” Ronny yells louder. I stand up and walk towards Ronny as she heads in Chelsea's direction.
“Ronny stop, she’s not worth it!” I call to Ronny but she’s not listening as she makes her way closer to Chelsea.
“Well since little innocent Lexi here wasn’t giving it up, obviously he would want someone with experience.” Chelsea squeals. I watch as Drakes face becomes red and his eyes darken with anger at Chelsea but this isn’t his fight, I am no longer his possession and I refuse to let these boys fight my battles for me. This infuriates me; I’m so sick of these people thinking I’m weak.
“Chelsea! Drake doesn’t even want you!” Ronny yells. I say calmly trying to control the anger within me, “Why are you still here?”
“He does want me, he hasn’t rejected me yet! Unlike you Lexi, your mate rejected you because you are so fucking useless!” She lets out a harsh laugh making me cringe.
“Chelsea…you’re really starting to piss me off, you need to shut your mouth!” I say through gritted teeth as I stare her down. I can feel the tingles and I know soon enough the grey flames in my eyes will be shining dangerously unless I control myself.
“Or what human? You are too pathetic to fight and Drake will protect me.” she says winking at Drake and just growls at her.
That’s it.
I let out a deep growl…not knowing where that came from, I notice the rest of the people outside are as shocked as I am but I don’t care. I let the anger consume me as I feel my eyes change colour. I feel the wind pick up and I welcome it. I look back to Chelsea who seems petrified.
“What’s happening Lexi? What are you doing?” Jax screams over the wind.
“Leave her Jax, this has been a long time coming!” Chloe says.
I glare at Chelsea and focus all my attention on her as I watch her fall to the ground clutching her chest. She screams in pain and begs me to stop and even though I’m enjoying watching her in pain, I close my eyes and shut out the anger. I don’t want to kill her but I had to show them I’m not weak.
The wind stops and I open my eyes to see Chelsea gasping for air backing away from me on the floor.
“W…what a…are you?” she stutters.
I turn to look at Jax and raise an eyebrow, “Not weak…that’s for sure.” I turn and walk.
Everyone is shocked. Drake stands there with his mouth open, not even helping his so called mate.
“How the hell did you do that?” He says in awe.
“I have secrets too Drake.” I mumble as I walk towards my car.
“Baby wait! Don’t leave! Can’t we just talk about everything in private? Please?” Jax begs coming up to me.
No Jax we’re done, you made it pretty clear already! I just want to go home.” I say moving away from his touch because the static electricity between us is
still there only slightly.
“This is your home Lexi!” Ronny says.
Ron, as much as I love you guys, this isn’t my home. I need to get back to my family…I belong there.” I tell her as I give her a hug.
“Your family? We are your family!” Ronny says sadly.
“Yes...you are my family too Ron but I can’t stay here, I need to get away from them. I'm sorry…Goodbye Ron, I love you.” I say giving her a tight hug then repeating the gesture with Chloe and Rachel.
“I’m not going to see you again am I? You’re not coming back, are you?” Ron asks but it comes out as a statement. Tears are rolling down her face and even though I really want to hug her and tell her I will come back the truth is I don’t think I will.
I don’t say anything but give her a sad smile, “I don’t know if I can.”
“Alexia what’s going on, what haven’t you been telling us? Why did you keep all of this from us?” Jax says standing close to me, I take a step away. I just want to hold someone tight and pray they tell me everything is going to be alright and that I am indeed wanted, even if I know it won’t and I am not.
“I kept today a secret because I don’t know if I will make it through till tomorrow, I didn’t want to spend my last night with you guys being worried about me surviving shifting for the first time. I might not even shift but tonight I will find out.” I say opening my door.
“Shifting? What are you talking about?” Drake says confused.
“I found out that the Alpha of the Fort Hill Pack is my father, my father is pure wolf and my mother was turned. I’m half human and half wolf…and yes I’m the first of my kind and that’s why I kept this a secret. It’s not safe for you to know…not safe for you or me.” I turn to look at Jax as I say the following words, “You see Jax…I’m not as weak as I look.”
He looks at me and I can see his teary eyes clearly. He grabs his hair roughly letting out a deep shaky breath. “Fuck, what have I done?” Jax says falling to the ground holding his face in his hands. I’ve never seen him look so weak before and even though I’m trying my hardest to not feel anything for him, there’s still that voice in my head telling me to comfort him and stay by his side.
Alexia Eden Page 34
