by Brittle, D M
“Yes,” Jo said immediately, “should I be worried? I have read a lot of things about the dangers of high blood pressure during pregnancy.”
“I will check it again after the scan, but I assume that the stress you are under lately is a high contributing factor, so let’s just see what it comes out as after the scan and then we will take it from there.”
“Okay,” Jo smiled.
“Okay then, so Julia and Marti if you could stay here for a moment while I examine Jo and then when we are set up I will call you over to see the babies,” Sam smiled as Jo and I stood and followed her into the side room that was attached to her office. As Jo lay on the bed she smiled happily while Sam pushed and poked at her tummy like it was a pincushion but Jo didn’t seem to mind as she watched with fascination.
“How can you tell by feel alone where their heads are and how they are lying?” she asked in interest.
Sam let out a little laugh as she continued to feel around, “years of training and getting it wrong until I made sure to learn the difference between heads and bottoms.”
“Do you know yet if I can have a natural birth?” Jo asked.
“It’s still too early to tell I’m afraid Jo, but there is nothing at the moment to suggest otherwise so let’s hope that all continues as it is and then we can get you pushing those babies out.” Jo nodded happily as Sam finished her examination and began placing a clear liquid to Jo’s tummy that looked like clear jello.
“Grandparents we are ready for you now,” Sam called out as she finished with the gel; within seconds my parents came bursting through the door and took their positions around the bed. Mom stood to one side of the bed with Jo’s hand firmly in hers while dad stood to my side gripping my shoulder tightly as our babies appeared on the screen.
“Here they are,” Sam said, as her eyes remained focused on the screen. “It’s going to be a little difficult to see baby number one’s face because of how she is lying, she seems quite camera shy,” Sam smiled.
“Just like her mommy,” I said focusing on the screen, not wanting to miss a single second with them.
“Well, she is looking good, her measurements are perfect for your gestation and even though she is playing hide and seek with us all is looking perfect with your little girl. And here,” she paused for a moment before getting a clearer picture. “Here we are, here is baby number two, your little boy.”
Dad patted my back firmly with pride. “Looks just like you son,” he joked.
“He is beautiful, look at him Marti,” mom said proudly. “Hang on a moment, is he?” Mom leaned forward to focus better at the screen, “is he sucking his thumb?”
Sam took a closer look before letting out a small laugh, “yes he is; he is sucking his thumb.”
“Told you he was like you son, you sucked your thumb until you were what? Eight?”
“I did not,” I shook my head with embarrassment as I laughed with him.
“Oh you did dear,” mom added. “But I would go so far as to say that you were nine, not eight,” She teased.
“Oh I can remember that Blake sucked his thumb,” Sam joined in.
“I can’t believe I didn’t know that about you Blake, you really sucked your thumb until you were nine?” Jo asked in mock horror trying to hide her smirk.
“Have you not noticed that it’s flatter than the other one Jo? Looks like he hit himself with a hammer,” dad replied as Jo lifted my hand and laughed hard along with everyone else.
“Go on, let it out, let’s all have a laugh at Blake’s expense shall we?”
“You are so cute,” Jo said in a teasing tone.
“Yeah well, I bet if little Johnny here sucks his thumb until he is nine you will all think that he is cute too.”
“He is cute isn’t he?” Jo said as she watched the screen, “and so is little Johnny.”
Again everyone laughed, and for a moment, in that room, all of the shit that Jo and I had suffered since coming back to New York evaporated as the room filled with happiness.
Sam stood and wiped away the remainder of the gel from Jo’s stomach as the laughter began to stem.
“Well I wish every scan I did was as fun as that one,” she said as she helped Jo lift from the bed. “We just need to check your blood pressure once more before you go, but I am sure that you are feeling much more relaxed after the scan,” She smiled.
“I am yes,” Jo smiled as she straightened her clothes and headed back to the desk alongside me.
“We will wait for you back out in the waiting room darlings,” mom announced happily. “The babies are just so beautiful, I am so proud of you both.”
“Thanks Mom, we won’t be long,” I replied.
“And Samantha, we need to arrange dinner, it would be lovely to catch up.”
“Looking forward to it already,” Sam smiled before turning her attention back to Jo.” So, you’re calling your son Johnny? That was my father’s name.” Sam said as she prepared Jo for her blood pressure check.
“Mine too,” Jo smiled briefly before frowning, “he passed away in the summer so it felt like the right thing to do.”
“It’s a lovely thing to do.” Sam told her as she placed the cuff around Jo’s arm. “Do you have a name for your little lady yet?”
“No,” Jo replied, “nothing has stood out enough yet so at the moment she is our little princess.” Sam didn’t reply as she watched the machine that was measuring Jo’s blood pressure with concern.
“Is it still high?” Jo asked nervously.
“I’m afraid so,” Sam replied before checking it yet again. “I think we need to run some bloods to see what’s going on, you will need to stay here and be monitored for just a couple of hours until we get the results back but hopefully there will be no abnormalities and you will just need to try and rest more.”
“And if there is something wrong, what happens then?” Jo asked carefully.
“Let’s get the bloods done first and then we will see what the results say.” Sam smiled reassuringly at us both but I could sense her concern. “I’ll be right back.” Sam left the room as Jo turned to me; her eyes were glazing over with unshed tears.
“Something is going to happen to me or the babies Blake, I just know it is. I have carried them and helped them grow for over seven months and now that they need me the most I am going to let them down. I have spent my entire pregnancy convincing myself that I finally have control over pain and happiness but without even realizing, it’s still there isn’t it? We are still, every day, experiencing the pain that follows happiness but we now just choose to ignore it; we have become so used to it that we simply just ignore it.” Jo’s breath hitched as a tear fell from her eyes and rolled down her cheek.
“Hey, look at me.” Even though I too was worried about what the blood results were going to show, I refused to allow Jo’s fears to resurface. Whatever her tests revealed, I would fix it, I would always be able to fix anything that made her sad. I turned to her and took her face between the palms of my hands. “Nothing is going to happen to you or our babies; you have been under immense pressure since we got back to New York and I am surprised that you have coped as well as you have done.”
“I wish Theo had just called us when we were in London, I know that you told him not to and I respect that he did as you asked but if we had known everything that we have walked back into then we could have just stayed in London in our new home, me you and Jasper. I could have had the babies over there and we could have been away from all of the stress that we are suffering now.”
“Jo,” I exhaled, “this is all my fault, I have caused you all of this stress and I am sorry.” Theo had called when we were in London; it was my fault that we were back here.
“Of course you haven’t caused this Blake, don’t be ridiculous,” Jo smiled as she wiped her eyes on the back of her sleeve, “drama follows me, remember?” She sniffed back her emotion as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to me.
“When we
were in London Jo…..”
“Right then, I just need you back up on the couch and we will get this done as quickly as possible.” Sam re-entered the room ready to take Jo’s blood samples just as I was about to tell Jo the truth about Theo calling while we were in London. I really was responsible for all of the stress that we were currently experiencing and I desperately needed a way to right all of the wrong and make Jo happy again because if the babies were at risk, then that was my fault.
Once Sam had taken Jo’s blood and rushed it off for testing I sat next to Jo who had fallen asleep on the examination couch in Sam’s office. Mom and dad had gone off to fetch food for us all while we awaited the results nervously. I took a moment to talk to Sam in private about the possible results.
“What exactly is it that you think could be wrong with Jo? If it isn’t stress related then what could explain such a high blood pressure reading?”
“Have you heard or read about pregnancy-induced hypertension?”
“Not that I can remember, no,” I replied confused.
“Pre-eclampsia?” She asked as if I really should have heard about it.
“I’m sorry Sam; I have just been on such a high throughout Jo’s pregnancy that I haven’t even thought that anything could ever go wrong.”
Sam smiled kindly at me from across the room where she sat at her desk; I walked over and took the seat opposite her.
“Are you telling me that something could go wrong? Is there some sort of danger to Jo or the babies if she has that condition?” I asked quietly as I leaned towards Sam.
Sam continued to smile but I could tell that she too was concerned about what they may find, “let’s just get the results back first huh? And then we can take any necessary action needed then.”
“Please Sam, I am talking to you as a friend now, not as a patients’ husband, but as a friend, my mother’s friend who has known me since the day that I was born, please I have to be prepared for whatever it is that you are going to be telling Jo when we get those results back.”
Sam sighed and looked over my shoulder to where Jo lay fast asleep before beginning in a hushed tone.
“Pregnancy-induced hypertension is a very serious condition that affects a percentage of pregnant women. It isn’t completely understood what causes the condition or indeed if there are any contributory factors that lead to its presence but undetected and un-treated, I’m afraid that it can pose dangers to both mother and baby, or babies in Jo’s case.
“What kind of dangers?”
“Blake, we need to get the results back before begin assuming the worst.”
“What other signs is she displaying? I mean, you wouldn’t be so concerned if she wasn’t showing some sort of other signs, that much I know.”
“Jo is displaying a couple of obvious signs such as her extremely high blood pressure, her weight-gain this past week which, if it is hypertension, is caused by excessive fluid around the babies. I have also noticed that Jo’s hands and feet are a little swollen; again it could be co-incidence, but it could also be the signs that we are awaiting the results for but until we have those results Blake, I can’t sit here and tell you that that is what Jo is suffering from.”
“Could I lose her? Could we lose our babies?” I asked feeling my whole body begin to tremble, “Could I lose both my wife and my children to this condition?”
“Blake,” Sam leaned across and placed her hand over mine. “Jo is here now and she is being cared for, she is resting and we have every available resource to keep her and the babies well.”
“Oh my God,” I felt my heart as it began to beat hard, thumping against my skin. “They could all die couldn’t they?”
“I didn’t say that Blake,” Sam said firmly.
“You didn’t have to,” I said quietly. “It’s written all over your face.” Sam stood and placed a pile of papers into a filing cabinet in the corner. “I need to know how to fix this Sam, I am Jo’s fixer and I promised her on our wedding day that I will always fix her, I need to know what I can do to help her.” I tried to keep my voice calm because Jo was sleeping but the fear that was building up inside of me was now bubbling so fast it was about to spill over. “I have never, in my life not been able to fix something, there has to be something that I can do, please just tell me,” I pleaded.
Sam sighed and took her seat across from where I still sat, “Blake there is no conclusive treatment that will take Jo to full term.” I adjusted in my seat; I could feel the beads of sweat forming all over my body.
“So how do you cure it then?”
“The only proven way to keep mother and baby safe is to deliver the baby as soon as possible.”
“But the babies aren’t even near ready yet, if they were born now they would be premature… they could die,” I answered nervously.
“Before we would allow the babies to be born Blake we would inject a steroid to help form their lungs and vital organs so they are strong enough to leave Jo. We take the health and wellbeing of all babies and every single mommy to be very, very seriously, nothing that we do is ever taken lightly. Jo is in the best hands possible and we will do everything that we can to keep both Jo and the babies fighting fit Blake, as I said we need the results back first and then we will take whatever steps we need to take, okay?”
“This is my fault,” I said as I turned my head to look at my wife lying there unknowing that I could have stopped her from being ill had I have just taken the calls from Theo when we were in London.
“You couldn’t have prevented this Blake; no one can prevent these illnesses. Now the results shouldn’t be too much longer, I’ll go and fetch us both a coffee and while I am gone, you need to calm yourself down for Jo’s sake, the last thing any pregnant woman needs is a husband who has lost control.”
I nodded to Sam who stood and rounded the table stopping in front of me as she reached my gaze, “we won’t let anything happen to your wife or children Blake; that I can promise you whole heartedly.” I wanted to thank her or tell her that I understood but I couldn’t. As Sam left the room and I was left alone with my thoughts the only thing that continued to take over my mind wasn’t the vision of me holding those babies the day that they were born while my wife smiled back at me; Instead, a vision of me stood at their gravesides mourning the loss of the three most precious people in the world was imprinted into my mind and I couldn’t shake it off.
Mom was chatting away to dad as they entered the room causing Jo to stir; as soon as her eyes opened she focused on me and gave me a sleepy smile before yawning.
“Did I seriously fall asleep having my blood taken?” She pushed herself into a seated position before rubbing her eyes.
“I’m so sorry dear I didn’t know you were asleep, did we wake you?” Mom asked concerned.
“No,” Jo said quickly. “I think the smell of that food along with my tummy grumbling woke me up, I am starving.”
“Well at least now we don’t have to be subjected to Blake’s cooking this evening.” Dad joked as mom and Jo laughed along.
“Blake?” I pulled my focus away from the food cartons to Jo who had a concerned expression on her face. “Are you okay? You look pale.”
I forced a smile and I began sorting through the food cartons, “I’m fine,” I lied, “don’t you worry about me.”
“Come sit here.” Jo patted the couch next to her as she smiled; I grabbed her food and handed it to her before sitting down.
“Where is your food?”
“I’m not hungry, I’ll eat in a moment, firstly and most importantly is that you eat.” I watched as Jo opened the carton and took out the plastic fork before she began devouring the contents. She let out small groans of appreciation with each forkful before turning her attention to me; she stopped chewing and smiled shyly as her skin flushed.
“Why are you watching me eat like you have never seen me eat before?”
“I just want to look at my beautiful wife,” I reached forward gently wiping a spot of s
auce from the corner of her mouth. Jo continued to smile as she took out another forkful of food and placed it to my mouth instead, I gladly took it. For a moment I had forgotten that Jo and I weren’t alone in the room when Sam entered carrying a tray of drinks and some important looking papers in her hand.
“Good news,” she smiled as she placed the drinks tray down and waved the papers in our direction.
“The blood tests came back clear.” It felt as though I must have been holding my breath since Sam had originally told me about the possible dangers to Jo and the babies when I exhaled a huge sigh of relief. “How are you feeling now Jo?”
“Better since you told me that news,” Jo smiled. “So why do you think my blood pressure is so high?” Jo asked as Sam walked over and stood next to the couch.
“As we initially thought, I imagine that it is down to the stress that you have been under recently with the trial and the media; it isn’t good for anyone let alone someone carrying twins,” Sam smiled. “However, the tests may have come back clear today but it is important that you rest, we don’t want to be here again in a week’s time or two even and still trying to control your blood pressure. You need complete bed rest, in fact try to keep away from anything that will cause you stress and we will see you again next week to see if it has done the trick.”
“And if it doesn’t do the trick?” I asked not sure if I wanted to know the answer.
“Then we re do the tests and continue to keep an eye on Jo as closely as possible.”
Jo nodded sadly, “I have had almost complete bed rest now since we got back from London which has been weeks, just being in the apartment knowing that someone is out there waiting to get close to me and ask me about Cooper or Sara or any of it, it just stops me from being able to relax, you know.”
“Right then,” mom butted in as she stood from the desk and walked over to us. “When Jo is given the okay to leave here we are going back to your apartment, packing some clothes and the both of you are to come back home with us where I will personally ensure that you get complete rest for as long as you need it, how does that sound?”
