“It’s not fair.” My voice cracked, and my chest felt heavy. I’d already gone through this once before, why did I have to relive it?
“I know it’s not, but you’ll be fine, I promise. And I need you to deliver a message for me. Tell Dane I’m glad he found his cliché.”
She laughed when my brows furrowed in bewilderment. “He’ll know what it means.”
She dropped my hands, and I knew it was time. Still, I hated it, having to say goodbye, even though I never got to the first time.
“I love you,” I said, looking between the two people I loved the most in this world.
“We love you too,” replied Charlie. He put his arms around Jewel’s shoulders, and she looked up at him with love, and adoration. I decided that was how I’d remember them from now on.
I opened my mouth to speak, but found myself falling backwards into the water. I let out a surprised scream but the water surrounding me muted the sound.
I kept sinking deeper and deeper and deeper until…
The steady beep-beep of a machine pierced the silence. I cracked an eye open, wincing when the harsh florescent lighting made it burn.
My body was heavy, weightless, and I felt incredibly tired. I lifted my hand, and turned my head to the side when I felt something akin to hair brushing my fingertips.
My eyelids lifted slowly, heavily, until I could make out that there was a head resting on a forearm where my hand was.
I was slightly disorientated, but looking around I surmised that I was in a hospital room. The head stirred next to my hand, and twisted until two startling blue eyes were looking back at me.
“You’re awake,” said Dane. His voice was thick with sleep, and I wondered how long he’d been here. I couldn’t remember much, but I could vaguely recall our fight, hitting the water, and some weird dream with Charlie and Jewel.
“How long was I out?” I asked.
“Three days,” he replied.
Three DAYS? It hadn’t felt that long.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he whispered, his eyes bloodshot, and full of remorse.
“You saved my life,” I said, feeling my throat close. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but couldn’t. I wasn’t sure what I wanted after everything that had happened.
“How do you know?”
I gave him a half smile. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
The Doctor chose that moment to interrupt by walking into my room without preamble. He was a young doctor, blond hair perfectly styled, brown eyes, average height. He looked fresh out of med-school.
“Miss. Monroe. Nice of you to come back to us.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” I replied, smiling when I thought about my brother and Jewel.
“Glad to hear it,” the Doctor muttered, uninterested in my reason for ‘coming back’. Douche. “I’m Dr. James, and I’ve been monitoring your progress since your accident. Do you think you can tell me what happened? I’d like to see if your memory is impaired in anyway.”
I cleared my throat, and told him what had happened up to where I could remember. He seemed pleased, and started making notes on his clipboard.
“You are very lucky, Miss. Monroe,” – no shit, really? – “You were resuscitated twice after sustaining a head injury, and being left in the water for three hours before you were found. You obviously have some Guardian Angels looking out for you.” - He had no idea - “You should be cleared for discharge tomorrow. Do you have family we can call?”
I opened my mouth, but Dane cut in before I could speak. “Her grandparents couldn’t travel, but her friends are here. We’ll take her home tomorrow.”
“Very good.”
Dr. James left the room, and I sagged back into my bed. Dane stood from his chair, and nervously rubbed his hands down his jeans. He looked tired, and in desperate need of a shower. Had he been here the whole time?
I wasn’t sure how the answer to that would have made me feel but I still needed to talk to him. I felt indebted to him for saving my life.
“I’m going to get Jade,” he said, starting for the door. “She’ll want to see you.”
“Dane, wait.”
He turned towards me with reluctance, as if he was afraid of what I might say.
“We need to talk.”
He stood there for a whole minute – yes, I counted – and then took me by surprise when he leaned over the bed at my side. His hands held my face, and he fixed me with eyes so full of sorrow I could taste it, feel it blanketing me.
“You will never know how sorry I am.” His voice was low, nothing more than a gentle caress across my face. “For what I said to you the day we fought, for hurting you so badly you felt you needed to run, and for being the reason you nearly died.”
I tried to speak, to tell him to shut up and listen to me for once, but he pressed his thumbs to my mouth. “I will understand if you can’t forgive me right now, but I hope that someday you will because I…I…”
Say the words, I coaxed. Please.
Yes, he’d said some terrible hurtful things, and it would take me some time to get over them, but I still wanted him with me when I did.
It seemed he had other plans, because I felt like he was leaving me. Only this time, I wasn’t sure I wanted him to.
“I need some time to forgive myself for what I’ve put you through, because right now, I’m not good enough for you. Go back to Georgia, and when I’m ready, I’ll come to you, if you’re still waiting.”
He kissed me with wet, salty lips, and I wanted to yell at him, tell him he couldn’t do this, that we belonged together. But I understood so much more now, and I knew it wasn’t our time yet. He needed to heal, and forgive himself. I needed to heal, and forgive too. And if we were meant to be together at the end of it all, I had no doubt we would be.
His lips moved against mine as he whispered, “Goodbye, Kitten,” and unlike the last time, I didn’t feel like I was splitting in two.
Dane kissed me one more time, a sweet lingering peck, and then walked out. I found myself hoping he’d find his absolution, because I wanted to be here when he did.
EPILOGUE
Dane
One Month Later
EVERY DAY OF the last month had been leading up to this moment. I’d spent a week trying to convince myself I should just wait until Kennedy got back tomorrow, but a last minute shove out the door from Jade, meant the decision to come and get her was made for me.
And I couldn’t say it was the wrong decision.
I gripped my steering wheel, and took a deep breath before climbing out my truck. It was freezing outside, so I hugged my jacket closer as I walked towards the barn on Kennedy’s grandparents’ property in Madison, Georgia.
I’d called Beau two days ago to let him know I was coming, and he’d let me know they were having an engagement party for him and his fiancé Sarah. He was a pretty decent guy, and I could tell he really cared about Kennedy. To my surprise, he was on board with me showing up, and he didn’t even hesitate to include me in the night’s festivities. I just hoped he didn’t mind me stealing the limelight so that I could make an ass of myself in front of Kennedy’s family and their friends.
The last time I saw Kennedy I was walking away from her – again – but at the time it was the right thing to do. She woke up after her accident, and I expected her to yell at me, and tell me to leave, because I deserved that and so much more. Instead, she’d given me what I wanted, which was time to sort myself out, head and heart included.
I needed time to forgive myself for the mistakes I made, and for the unforgiveable things I'd said to her the night of her accident. I’d hit an all-time personal low, and because I was too stubborn, and selfish to see past my own hatred and grief, I blamed her. For everything.
I wouldn’t say I was good enough for her after this past month, but I knew I was ready to try, and I wanted her to see that. I didn’t deserve her forgiveness, but I’d spend the rest of my life making
it up to her if it meant she was willing to take that chance on me. On us.
My mother and I had been spending a lot of time together lately, and she’d helped me put things into perspective. I expected her to be upset about my relationship with Kennedy, but instead she’d simply said, “I want you to be happy, the same way I knew Jewel was with Charlie.” I’d had no idea she knew about their relationship, or that she’d had no objection to them being together, and it made me realize just how easily I’d adopted my father’s beliefs about the Monroe family. It was one of many reasons why I’d cut all contact from him after Kennedy’s accident. I no longer wanted him to influence how I was allowed to feel about her.
Despite the frigid temperature, my hands were sweating, and my pulse raced wildly. I was so fucking nervous and scared and ready. There was a possibility Kennedy hadn’t waited for me, and that thought alone had me wanting to make a U-turn on the way here several times, but I believed she was worth the risk of coming here, and potentially humiliating myself. Either way, I was about to find out.
I pushed the barn door open and pretty much walked into a country music video. They had a live band on a makeshift stage at the far back, with round tables close to the door, decked out in checkered table cloths and bales of hay as chairs. They’d also made a small bar on the left, where mostly men had gathered to drink beer, and ‘shoot the shit’. Right in the center was the dance floor, and it seemed to be the hub for all the chaos going on around me.
A few people spared me a glance, but for the most part everyone else seemed too preoccupied to notice me. I was grateful for that, because these people were about to get really well acquainted with me in about ten minutes.
Beau spotted me from across the room, and moved through the small crowd until he was standing next to me.
“I was starting to think you weren’t gonna make it,” he said, reaching for my hand. I shook it, grateful that I had found an unlikely ally in him.
“I almost turned around a few times,” I replied honestly.
“I’m glad you didn’t,” he chuckled. “You’re my entertainment for the evening.”
I laughed nervously, knowing he was teasing, and anxiously looked around for Kennedy. I didn’t want her to see me yet.
“She’s stepped out with Sarah for a bit,” said Beau. “So if you’re still sure you want to do this here, now’s your chance.”
“Thanks again for letting me come,” I slapped him on the back. “I appreciate your help.”
“Just do right by her, and you, and I won’t have any problems.” I heard the warning undertone, and nodded briskly as I stepped past him.
“Good luck,” he yelled above the music, and I swore I heard him laugh. Fucker. Couldn’t he tell I was already sweating bullets?
The band had just finished playing another song when I reached the stage, and the guy in front of the mic turned to me with a grin. I should’ve known Beau would have told someone I was coming, and exactly what I had planned.
“Alright folks,” the guy said into the mic, “We’re going to take a break, get some beer, and be back in a few minutes.” The crowed hollered as the band stood and left the stage.
This was it.
I was about to make a complete fool of myself, and all to prove to a girl that I was worth taking a chance on.
“It’s now or never lover boy.” I turned and found Beau right behind me, ready to throw me on stage if I didn’t get up there myself. “She just walked in with Sarah.”
I swallowed all my nervousness, and took the two steps leading onto the stage, aware that I had more than a few peoples’ attention. I took the mic in one hand, and tapped it awkwardly before opening my mouth.
“Good evening everybody.”
Crickets.
Shit.
“I don’t mean to interrupt the festivities, but I came here because I have something very important to say, and I’m hoping the person who I need to say it to is listening.”
The crowd remained quiet, and I heard Beau shout, “Get on with it, man. She ain’t gonna wait forever!”
I laughed awkwardly, and that seemed to loosen up the crowd a little. “Okay…” I hesitated, wondering if this was what I should be doing, and then I saw her. She was standing in the middle of the crowd, her hair braided to one side, wearing tight blue jeans, and a red long sleeved Henley shirt with the buttons undone, and a pair of worn cowboy boots. My heart stopped when her green eyes found mine, and I realized I’d have done anything for her - even humiliate myself in a room full of complete strangers.
“There’s this girl,” I started, digging deep for the courage I needed to see this through. “I spent most of life hating her, because I couldn’t have her, and then one night, things changed.”
Someone whistled, causing the crowd to laugh. It was better than being booed off stage.
I removed the mic from the stand, and jumped down the front of the stage. The crowd on the dance floor parted as I made my way towards a stunned Kennedy, and continued speaking.
“I didn’t think I could give this girl what she deserved because there was just too much bad history between us, so I pushed her away out of fear. But it was too late. I’d already fallen in love with her.” The crowed ahhh’ed, and Kennedy lifted a trembling hand to her mouth.
“I made a mistake,” I said, stopping in front of her. “I broke her heart, when I should have told her that instead of filling my world with color, she became my world.” Kennedy gasped, but I continued. “I knew that if I wanted to be the kind of man she deserved I had to find a way to right my wrongs, and show her that I could be enough.”
I reached for her hand, and held it against my chest so that she could feel the frenetic beat of my pulse.
“I asked her to give me time, and said that I’d come to her when I was ready. I’m hoping I’m not too late.”
The crowed had fallen completely still, and it felt like everyone was holding the breaths with me.
Kennedy’s eyes searched mine, and for a split second I questioned my decision to come here and possibly embarrass her. What if there was someone else?
What she’d moved on?
What if…
Her mouth lifted up into a smile, and silenced every doubt, every worry, and every moment of indecision leading up to this.
“Will you tell her you love her, right now, in this room full of people you don’t know?” She asked. I’d missed the sound of her voice, and hearing it again, so sweet and shy made my nerves prickle with hope.
“I love you.” I exhaled the words. “I think I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you. I was just too foolish to see it back then.”
Kennedy threw herself at me, crushing her mouth against mine. I dropped the mic with a thud and the crowd roared with applause. None of that mattered though, not with Kennedy in my arms, pressed up against my body, kissing me like our lives depended on this one moment, this one tiny sliver of time.
“I love you,” she whispered against my lips. “But you could have waited until tomorrow to tell me all this.”
“No,” I smiled and shook my head. “I wanted to give you a big romantic gesture that would make it impossible for you to turn me down.”
“I would never,” she replied. “You’re stuck with me Winters.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way Monroe.”
Kennedy
DANE KISSED HIS way down my neck and I tried to silence my moans. We were both naked and sweaty, and I didn’t want my grandparents – who were only two bedrooms down the hall – to hear us.
Dane swiveled his hips and his piercing – oh God his piercing – rubbed me just right. I sunk my teeth into the strained muscle between his neck and his shoulder, and quivered. He bit my shoulder in turn and quieted his grunt as he came with me.
I’d missed this, and him, so much over the past few weeks, but I was glad we’d had some time apart. A month wasn’t enough time to completely work through our past, but it was just enough to bring us ba
ck together so that we could work through the rest. We’d already been through so much, and now I knew that as long as we were side-by-side, we could face anything. I was supposed to be heading back to Brighton tomorrow, and I’d been preparing myself to see Dane again, but I hadn’t been expecting him to show up tonight. When I saw him standing on that stage, pouring his heart in a room full of people he didn’t know, I had to stop myself from running to him. I wanted to wait and see what he had to say, and his words had unraveled me, only to solidify how my heart had come to beat for him.
Dane lifted his head, and pressed his lips against mine. “I missed you,” he whispered. “I thought about calling you every day, but I’m glad I didn’t.”
I smiled, feeling deliriously happy and elated to have him here with me. “Your timing is perfect.” I brushed my hands down his naked back, tracing the lines of his muscles with my fingertips. “You were worth the wait.”
He rolled over, and I moved with him, draping my leg over his, and resting my head in the crook of his neck. My mind drifted, and thoughts of my accident, and the dream I had filtered into my head. I’d never told him about it, but it was always there, lingering, waiting for the right time.
I figured now was the right time. I wanted to tell him what his sister had said.
“I have to tell you something.”
He shifted so that we were face-to-face, his blue eyes far less troubled than the last time I stared into their boundless depths. They grounded me, centered me, like a beacon of bright, endless light reminding me where home really was.
“The night of my accident,” I swallowed, feeling a swarm of butterflies take flight in my belly. “I had a dream about Jewel and Charlie.”
His brows furrowed, and I smoothed his frown with my thumb. “I don’t remember everything, but I remember Jewel asking me to give you a message.”
Dane seemed taken aback by that, but didn’t laugh at me, or tell me it wasn’t possible that I’d seen or spoken to Jewel in a dream.
“She wanted me to tell you she was glad you found your cliché.”
He waited a beat, allowing my words to sink in, and then his mouth turned up into a magnificent smile. He hugged me tighter, like I was about to disappear from his grasp at any moment.
The Line Between Page 27
