by Brenda Novak
“Why do you think?”
“Because I always bust?”
He grinned.
“I don’t always bust!”
“You take a hit on anything less than eighteen, which means your busting average is a lot higher than most.”
“I’m just not myself tonight,” Rebecca said. “My birthday’s coming up and, instead of spending it in Cancun with Buddy on a warm beach, enjoying our honeymoon, I’m going to be here.”
“Buddy wasn’t right for you.”
Rebecca didn’t want to admit that she’d finally reconciled herself to that fact, so she said nothing.
“Besides, Delaney’s due to have her baby any day,” he added.
“True. I would’ve hated missing the birth.”
He dealt them each another two cards, and she felt vindicated when she won three bucks. “Take that,” she said, tossing her cards on the table.
“You were holding a nineteen,” he said.
“So? I still won.”
“I was holding a fourteen. Short of receiving a six or a seven, there wasn’t any way I could beat you.”
“A minor detail,” she said, motioning for more cards. “You going to forget about Katie?”
He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Sure. At about the same time you forget about Josh.”
“I’m not holding out any hope where he’s concerned.”
He grinned. “Is that lie meant for me? Or just for you?”
“You think you know everything,” she accused.
“I know Josh could do a lot worse.”
She caught his eye and smiled. “So could Katie.”
* * *
“REBECCA’S OUT THERE again,” Mike said, peering through the blinds of the front window.
Josh glanced up from the kitchen table where he’d been busy devouring an entire cookie sheet of nachos and resisted the urge to get up and see for himself. He knew he couldn’t appear too eager or he’d scare her off. He also knew if he wanted a relationship with Rebecca Wells, he had to make her meet his terms.
But he could offer her a small concession. “Turn on the porch light.”
His brother sent him a quizzical look. “Why? You want her to come in?”
Josh felt excitement stir low in his belly and knew there could be no doubt about how badly he wanted just that. Sending her away the night he’d brought her home was the hardest thing he’d ever done. But if he’d given in to his baser yearnings, they’d be enemies again by now. He had to make her open her heart before anything else could happen. “I do.”
Mike scratched his head. “You didn’t get enough of her that night you made me pay for a hotel?”
“Not by a long shot.” Josh was beginning to wonder if he’d ever get enough of Rebecca. Regardless of everything she’d done to him in the past, somehow she belonged to him. He couldn’t understand why or how, exactly, but the fiercely proud girl he’d hated most his life had worked her way so deeply into his heart, he doubted he’d ever get her out.
Still, she had to come to him, had to admit she felt something, too, or there was no hope for a future. “I didn’t sleep with Rebecca that night,” he added. “I’ve never slept with her.”
“In my mind, that’s a good thing,” Mike said. “Why ruin a perfect record?”
Josh considered his brother’s words as he ate another cheese and sour-cream-topped chip, but Mike continued before he could formulate a response.
“You’re not going to listen to me, are you? You want her to come in.”
“Yep.”
“And you want to sleep with her tonight. Is that where you’re going with this?”
Josh washed down his food with the last of the soda he’d bought at the Quick Mart on his way home from his folks’ house, sat back and folded his arms. Right again. But would tonight be his night? Rebecca had been driving out to his place about every other night for the past ten days, which meant she was tempted. Something had to be bringing her here.
But, Lord knew, she was a stubborn woman. Getting her to open herself to him emotionally was proving even more difficult than he’d anticipated. If not for her midnight appearances, he might have believed he’d never reach her. But she wanted to give in, or she wouldn’t keep coming out here.
He smiled at her stubbornness. If she ever gave in, he was going to have his hands full. But he didn’t care, as long as she came to the door with the understanding that she’d belong to him in the morning as much as she belonged to him in the night.
“Josh? Are you even listening to me?” Mike asked.
Josh blinked and realized his brother had been waiting for an answer. “What did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted to sleep with her tonight.”
“I want to sleep with her every night,” he admitted, and grinned as he watched his brother’s jaw hit the floor.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
REBECCA SAT UP STRAIGHT when she saw the porch light come on. It pierced the dark, misty night like the beacon of a lighthouse, beckoning her closer. But she wasn’t sure she could trust it to lead her to a safe harbor. Josh was inside. She’d followed him home when she’d spotted him in town just half an hour ago, being careful to stay at a distance. She’d told herself she just wanted to catch a glimpse of him. But even after he’d gone inside, she’d sat across the street on the shoulder of the road, wanting to go to the door yet refusing to let herself do it. After thirty minutes, she’d been about to head home when that blasted porch light had come on, making her hesitate.
Safe harbor…There were things about Josh that seemed safe. The way she felt when she remembered him saying, “If you can’t care about me, I don’t want anything to do with you,” was one of them. The fact that he expected her to care about him indicated he was willing to care about her, right? He’d talked about risk, said, “I go, you go.” That meant something.
But…she bit her lip. There were definitely things about Josh that were not safe. He was her childhood nemesis, the one who’d stolen her father’s love and attention. She’d have to let go of the grudge she’d held against him all these years, forgive him at last, if they were ever to have a chance. But if she did, the softer feelings she had for him would completely consume her. She already knew that. And then what? There were no guarantees. In a few weeks, she’d probably be nothing more to him than another soul falling to worship at his feet.
She recalled the conversation she’d had with Mary last week in the salon and wondered if Mary could be right. Was Josh simply running from commitment? Would he wise up and go back to her? Mary’s confidence had to come from somewhere. And she had everyone’s support. All of Dundee thought she and Josh went together like apple pie and ice cream. On the other hand, the entire town would shake their heads in stunned disbelief to hear that she and Josh were seeing each other.
She rubbed her nose with her hand for warmth. Now that her birthday had almost arrived, the nights were cold and often wet. She should have brought a heavier jacket.
She should go home….
Turning the key in the ignition, Rebecca started her car, but before she could pull onto the highway, one final glance at Josh’s house told her something had changed. The blinds in the kitchen window had been raised, and Josh was standing there, hands on his hips, watching her. Challenging her.
As she suspected, he’d turned the light on for a reason. He knew she was there.
Any embarrassment she might have felt at being caught hovering near the object of her fascination was lost as she gazed at him. Regardless of how hard she’d tried to hang on to it, her grudge over the past was gone, she realized. And all those softer emotions? It was too late to do anything about them. She wanted Josh Hill about as badly as any woman could want a man.
And not just for the night.
Taking a deep breath, she turned off the engine, got out and walked to the house. I’m a glutton for punishment, she told herself. She and Josh had too much history. If her father found her lacking, so would he�
��.
But she and Josh had a hell of a lot of chemistry, too. Was that enough?
Josh saved her the trouble of knocking. He swung the door open as soon as her foot hit the step. Then he stared out at her, waiting. “Well?”
He wasn’t planning to make this easy. She looked back at her car and considered beating a quick retreat, but rejected that idea when he stepped outside to bar her escape. “Oh no, you don’t, you little coward.”
“I’m not a coward!” she protested.
He reached out to catch her by the shoulders. “If you’re not a coward, then say what you came to say and forget about running.”
She wasn’t going anywhere. Suddenly she knew that like she knew the sun would come up in the morning. Letting her arms wrap themselves around him, she wished he’d just kiss her and stop with all the demands. But when she tried to distract him by pressing her lips to his, he fended her off. “First you have to tell me.”
She stared up at him, amazed that she could be so in love without having known it.
He seemed to soften a little. He dropped several brief kisses on her forehead, her temple and each cheek, but he paused just short of her mouth. “I don’t hear anything, Rebecca.”
“I…I’m willing to risk it,” she murmured.
“Risk what?” he countered, his mouth still hovering temptingly close to her own. As he rubbed his nose against hers, she caught her breath in anticipation and felt the last of her pride, her fear and her denial give way.
“Risk everything,” she admitted. “It’s hopeless to fight it. I want you too badly.”
He grinned and hugged her. “That’s my girl. That wasn’t so bad, was it? And it’ll get easier as time goes by.”
“You expect me to say things like that a lot?” she asked doubtfully, slipping a hand inside his shirt to feel the ridges and contours of his muscles.
He finally kissed her, hard and hungry and demanding. “I do. I predict you’ll tell me you love me someday,” he whispered, his hands now buried in her hair, his lips next to her ear. “I’ll hear it over and over again when I make love to you, right before I make you cry out in ecstasy.” He grinned. “But knowing you, that’ll take a while.”
“I hope you’re not talking about the ecstasy part.”
“I’m talking about the ‘I love you’ part.”
“Oh, good. That can wait until you say it first,” she said, finding his lips for another breathtaking kiss.
Finally, he pulled back to look down at her and chuckled as he ran his thumb over the curve of her jaw in a touch that was so possessive, so tender, Rebecca thought she must be dreaming. This was Josh touching her. The man she’d been absolutely certain she hated…
Suddenly she couldn’t blame her father for admiring him. How could she, when she saw everything her father saw and more?
“That day might come sooner than you think. I’m halfway in love with you already,” he said. “Maybe I always have been.”
Rebecca blinked up at him, wanting to capture those words and let them burn inside her like a candle in the window of her heart. “Could you say that again?”
He laughed and gave her a meaningful pat on the behind. “You heard me. Now go to my room and take off your clothes. I want to see that tattoo.”
* * *
REBECCA STARED at Josh while he slept. God, he was handsome. She loved him so much it hurt. So much it terrified her. What if he woke in the morning and realized he’d made some sort of mistake? That she was nothing special, after all, just the girl from across the street who’d poured bleach on his lawn when they were in junior high?
He’d certainly known who she was when he made love to her, though. He’d made that abundantly clear. He’d kissed her neck and nibbled on her earlobe and murmured that he’d never wanted a woman more than he wanted her. And right before he’d brought her to a shuddering climax, he’d slowed his thrusts to the point of driving her crazy with frustration.
“Look at me,” he’d commanded. When she’d opened her eyes, he told her he was punishing her for all the rotten things she’d done to him over the years. He’d proceeded to build the tension in her body ever so slowly, until she was nearly begging for release. And then the exquisite wave of pleasure finally broke over her, and it was far too powerful to hold anything against him.
Still, she’d insisted on reciprocating.
She smiled in satisfaction as she remembered him trembling on the brink of his own climax. His gaze had locked with hers in that final instant and his eyes had filled with some unspoken emotion that made her feel both feminine and powerful. Josh wanted her. He really wanted her. Not only that, he knew every skeleton in her closet by name—and it didn’t seem to change anything.
She shifted so she could better see his face in the dark, too afraid to sleep for fear she’d wake up and everything they’d felt and experienced would be different. Come morning, Josh would have to confront his brother, and his family, and everyone else in town who could never imagine the two of them together. Come morning, they’d have to make some sort of decision as to whether there’d be another night like this.
Suddenly her father’s voice closed in on her, sounding loud and unmerciful in her ear, making her doubt. We haven’t had any crises for the past few weeks…we’re about due, aren’t we?…You’re not invited to the anniversary celebration unless you can behave yourself…
And then there was Mary: I heard Buddy broke up with you…I can certainly understand why…He’s coming back to me, you know. It’s just a matter of time—
“What are you thinking about?” Josh murmured.
“Nothing,” she lied.
He reached out and ran his thumb down the side of her face. “What I’m thinking is that you’re beautiful,” he said.
She tried not to smile, not to relinquish any more of her heart, but it was too late. She had no defenses left. She was hopelessly and irrevocably in love, and she had no idea whether it would turn out to be a good thing. She was gambling on the one man who had no reason to even like her….
“Don’t you think this is kind of funny?” she asked.
“What?”
“The fact that we’re lying here naked together after all we’ve been through. I’m the one who told everyone in school that your penis was three inches long, remember?”
He grinned. “Yeah, but that was just foreplay.”
“What about tomorrow?” she asked.
“What about it?”
“What happens then?”
“Tomorrow I’m going to figure out a way to convince you to make me breakfast—naked,” he said. “But we’ve got a few hours to work up an appetite, and I plan to make the most of every minute.” Scooping her closer, he rolled on top of her, then kissed her gently. “You ready to tell me you love me yet?” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers.
“Hell, no,” she said, even though her heart and her mind were screaming just the opposite.
He chuckled. “That’s too bad. I guess it’s going to take a little more convincing.”
“I won’t crack,” she insisted.
He licked one taut nipple. “We’ll see what you have to say in five minutes.”
* * *
REBECCA SAT at his kitchen table, wearing nothing but one of his T-shirts, her hair an unruly mess, her lips still swollen from his kisses, and Josh thought, “That’s the way I like her best.” Any makeup she’d had on last night was long gone, but Josh didn’t think she needed makeup—not with the natural beauty of her clear green eyes. Or maybe it was the quick-changing expressions on her face that appealed to him and not any particular feature. She could say more with one glance than most women could say in a fifteen-minute monologue.
He tried to keep his gaze from straying to her long, slender legs, propped up on the chair next to her, so he wouldn’t burn himself at the stove, but it wasn’t easy. He’d made love to her several times during the night—and still felt like he wanted to drag her back to his bedroom. He s
miled as he remembered thinking he could get her out of his system. Now he knew what twisted logic that really was.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“Nothing.” The bacon he was cooking popped. He jerked his hand away to avoid being spattered by the grease. “Breakfast is almost ready. Want some more orange juice?”
She shook her head.
He flipped the pancakes on the griddle. “I hope you’re hungry. I’ve got enough food here for ten people.”
She didn’t answer.
Wondering why she’d suddenly grown so quiet, he glanced over to see her staring out the window, a brooding expression clouding her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“Come on, Beck. You can’t lie to me. What’s going on?”
She folded her arms and scowled at him. “You always took Mary out for breakfast.”
He raised his brows. “So?”
“We’re eating in.”
He leaned one hip against the counter, still holding the fork he was using to turn the bacon. “And…”
Her eyes lowered to her empty plate, and she began toying with her napkin. “You obviously didn’t mind being seen with Mary.”
“I don’t mind being seen with you, either.”
“Then why did you want to have breakfast here, instead of going to the diner?”
He took the bacon off the stove so it wouldn’t burn. “First of all, you’re drawing some pretty major conclusions from one day. That’s hardly a fair sample. Second, I thought it’d be more fun to make you breakfast. Granted, I’m not a very good cook, but breakfast is one meal I can manage. Then you wouldn’t have to get dressed,” he added, hoping to tease her out of her sullen mood.
It didn’t work. “You didn’t mind it when Mary got dressed?”
“No.”
“Because you wanted to take her out to the diner, where there’d be other people.”
“No.”
“Then why?”
He sighed, not particularly anxious to analyze his actions. Taking Mary out to breakfast put a decisive end to their time together and allowed him to get to work. “Because I couldn’t see her lounging around my kitchen,” he admitted.
