“Excellent,” Dan, her financial advisor, told her. “I’m impressed, Pam. At our first couple of meetings after you lost John, I was worried about you. But you’re doing really well.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, careful to stare at the paperwork as she spoke. Dan was a friend of the family. She was afraid that if she actually looked him in the eye, he would quickly figure out something was up.
She wasn’t doing well at all. It was impossible to draw a breath without wanting to scream for missing John. But her decision had given her energy. More important, she had a purpose. There were things to be done to prepare for her upcoming trip…and subsequent lack of return. She might not be willing to live with her grief, but she wasn’t going to be a burden to her children in the process.
He took back the papers and flipped through them, checking to make sure all the signatures were in place. She waited patiently.
Several years ago she and John had put everything into a trust. It was the easiest way to transfer assets within the family without having to worry about sibling disagreements and huge tax bills. Since finding out about the key man policy and the buyout of her share of the business, she’d known she had to do something. Once she’d decided to kill herself, she’d been motivated to take the next financial step.
She’d divided the after-tax amount from the sale of the business into two equal halves. One had been put into her trust, the other half had been set aside for the children.
When she was declared lost at sea, aka dead, Dan would manage the trust for her estate. The kids would get their money with minimal hassle and waiting.
The house was also part of the trust. She thought it was possible that Jen and Kirk might want it. They would have enough to buy out Steven and Brandon. If no one wanted it, the house would be sold and the proceeds then split between the siblings.
She finished with Dan and then left his upscale office. Her next stop was to see Hayley. She and John’s assistant were having lunch together.
She arrived at Gary’s Café with five minutes to spare. When she got home, she would have to take Lulu for a long walk on the beach to make up for spending the morning alone. As she entered the restaurant, she thought that it would be hard to leave her little girl behind. Not just for the cruise. Lulu would miss her so much.
She briefly acknowledged that thinking about the dog was much easier than thinking about her children. That she truly hadn’t thought about her children. About how all this would impact them. Losing two parents so close together would be devastating. She understood that. But she also knew she was making the right decision. She simply couldn’t go on without John. People had to understand that.
She was seated in a booth and glanced at the chalkboard specials on the wall. Gary’s Café had been established sometime in the 1950s and it hadn’t changed much since. It had been refurbished several times but each new version looked exactly like the old one. There were red booths, Formica tables and a jukebox in the corner. The food wasn’t fancy, but it was delicious and honest. Unlike the places that advertised no microwaves as a way to show the food was healthy, Gary’s Café didn’t use microwaves because they hadn’t had them, back in the day.
Hayley walked in and spotted her. Pam stood and hugged the other woman, then slid back into the booth. Hayley settled across from her.
“How are you feeling?” Pam asked, studying her friend. The shadows under Hayley’s eyes were gone. When she smiled, it reached all the way to her eyes. The air of sadness had faded. All signs that Hayley was healing from her latest miscarriage.
“I’m fine,” the pretty blonde said. “And I should be asking that of you. How’s it going?”
Pam brushed away the question. “I’m doing okay. It’s hard, but I get through.”
Hayley leaned toward her and smiled. “I’m so glad about you going on the trip. Getting away will help.”
“I know. That’s what I think, too. I love my house, but it’s impossible to escape there. I see John in every corner. I feel him with every breath. On the ship, I’ll be scared and lonely, but I think it will be better. If that makes sense.”
“It does. You’ll make friends. Don’t they have meet-and-greets with single people?” Hayley winced. “Sorry, I don’t mean to make it sound like you’ll be dating, but you know what I mean. You can meet other women traveling together. Make friends.”
Which all sounded like a nightmare, Pam thought. But she wasn’t going to get on with her life. She was going to end it. And part of her plan was to make enough friends that people remembered her.
“That’s what I thought, too,” she lied. “A change of scene will do me good.”
Their waitress stopped by the table and took their drink orders. They both glanced at the menu.
“I’m still a few pounds underweight,” Hayley said cheerfully. “I’m having a burger and fries.”
“Me, too,” Pam told her. Why not? It wasn’t as if she had to worry about her cholesterol. People always said to live like you were dying. That it changed everything. She had to admit that they were right.
“I have the instructions for the last time I watched Lulu,” Hayley said. “Is her food still the same?”
“It is. I have a new sunscreen we’re using.”
Hayley giggled. “I know it makes me weird, but I love that I have to put sunscreen on her.” The humor faded. “Damn, it’s because I see her as a baby. Which I can live with. She’s sweet and having her cuddle with me is the best.”
“What does Rob think about her?”
Hayley rolled her eyes. “He loves her more than me, if you can believe it. And you know Lulu dotes on him.” Her smile broadened. “I’ve already warned him that I’m your puppy guardian. If anything happens to you, we are so keeping Lulu.”
Information Pam had wanted to ask, but hadn’t been sure how. She and Hayley had discussed that point every time Pam had left Lulu with her. Jen had been her backup, but with a baby on the way, that wasn’t going to work.
Of course, Hayley could get pregnant, too. Pam remembered her friend’s miscarriages and knew she couldn’t mention anything about babies at this point. She would simply have to trust Hayley to handle Lulu and a child.
“There’s money for her medical care,” Pam said, careful to keep her voice sounding teasing. “It should last her whole life.”
The “take care of Lulu” clause had been in the will since she and John had brought the little dog home. There were also some individual bequests and a large amount to be given to her favorite charities.
Hayley shook her head. “I’m honestly not worried. Nothing’s going to happen to you. And if it does, I’ll be there for your little angel. I promise.”
Pam blinked against sudden tears. “You’re a good person. I appreciate all you’ve done for us over the years.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
“You took care of John. I always trusted you to do that.”
Hayley’s mouth twisted. “You’re going to get me crying. I loved John. He was a rock and the nicest man. Steven’s great. I like working for him, but I miss John every day.”
Pam nodded. “Me, too.”
Their waitress returned with their drinks and glanced between them. “You two okay?”
“We will be,” Pam told her. “After our burgers.”
“They do have magical powers,” the server said. “You want fries with that?”
“Of course,” Pam told her. “We’re living l
arge.”
* * *
Shannon told herself that being the bigger person had value. That she could savor the moment of maturity, of being gracious. That, in karmic terms, she was taking care of her future. But it was all crap. The truth was she was hurt and frustrated and thinking that falling in love with Adam had been a huge mistake because he was nothing but a super butthead.
She walked up to the front door of Adam’s house and knocked. Seconds later, he answered.
“Hi. Thanks for coming by.”
He looked good and wasn’t that just grossly unfair? A little rumpled, a lot tired and shaggy. Like he needed a haircut. Her fingers itched to sweep his hair off his forehead and then linger. Because touching Adam was always fun.
His dark gaze swept over her and in that moment, she could swear she heard his impressed “Wow!” like when they’d first met. Because whatever else might go wrong between them, he’d always thought she was the hottest thing that moved.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“You’re still mad.”
“Are you asking or telling?”
“Both.”
“Quite the trick.”
He stepped back. “Please come in.”
When he’d called and asked to see her, she hadn’t known if she wanted to. A week had gone by. A week of brief texts between them. His had been along the lines of “I need some time with this.” And hers had been edited from “Go fuck yourself” to a more generous “Fine.”
But as she stepped into his house, something inside of her shifted. She let herself remember how much she’d missed him, despite her attempts not to. She thought about how he made her laugh and how he was one of the most emotionally generous men she knew. Until the incident with Char, she would have said being with Adam always made her feel better about herself. And that was hard to find.
“You and I need to talk,” he said. “But Char would like to speak to you, as well.”
Char? Shannon came to a stop in the living room, then forced herself to keep walking. Saying she wanted nothing to do with his daughter wasn’t an actual solution to their problem. If things were going to work out between the two of them, she had to figure out how to navigate the difficulties of dealing with his kids.
He had to do the same, but right now she was more concerned with her own reaction to hearing the girl’s name.
They continued to the family room. Char sat on the edge of the oversize sectional. Her shoulders were slumped and she seemed smaller than Shannon remembered. As the girl raised her head, Shannon saw that she’d been crying.
She came to a stop and pulled Adam close. “Are you making her talk to me?”
“This is completely her idea.” One corner of his mouth twisted. “Actually it’s hers and her mother’s, if you can believe it. She went home last night and today Tabitha called me to say Char wanted to talk to you.”
Shannon glanced at the nine-year-old, who slowly stood. Her lower lip trembled and a single tear slipped down her cheek.
If it was an act, it was a good one, Shannon thought, the wall around her heart cracking just a little.
“Thank you for talking to me,” Char whispered.
“You’re welcome.”
Shannon crossed to the lounge side of the sectional and sat down. Char sat in the middle of the sofa part and faced her. Adam hovered, looking both hopeful and worried.
Char twisted her fingers together in front of her. She kept her head down and when she started to speak, Shannon could barely hear her.
“I’m sorry,” the girl whispered. “About the party. I wanted it to be the best one and my friends wanted that, too. None of our parents would get the glitter package so we talked about how to make it happen at my party.”
Shannon told herself not to react. While being played by several nine-year-old girls wasn’t exactly a point of pride, she had been out of her element. And inexperienced. Which made Adam’s comments about her not being their mother not only true, but also something she would have to consider later.
“You thought I’d be easy to manipulate?” she asked, careful to keep her tone neutral.
Char nodded. “I knew you liked my dad a lot and if you made me happy, he would like you more. Plus, a couple of my friends have divorced parents and they said that I needed to be careful with you. That I had to act a certain way so you would do what I said.”
Shannon was about to ask her to explain that confusing statement more, when Adam spoke.
“What are you talking about?” he asked sharply. “How did you act?”
Char looked at her father. Tears ran down her cheeks. “Bratty. Like I was the boss of her and she had to do what I said. I made her get me stuff and I wasn’t nice. I’m sorry, Daddy.”
Adam shoved his hand through his hair. “Seriously?” He looked at Shannon and shook his head. “I had no idea.”
She wanted to point out that was because he wouldn’t listen, only she thought maybe this was a good time to be quiet.
Char seemed to physically shrink. “I didn’t want to be mean. I didn’t like it when I was doing it, but once I started, I couldn’t stop myself. And everyone was having a good time at the party and I wanted it to go on.”
She looked at Shannon. “I felt so bad when I talked to my dad, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. So I waited until I saw my mom last night and I told her everything. She was really disappointed in me. For acting that way and for lying to my dad.” Char turned to him. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I thought if you knew how bad I’d been, you’d punish me and you always punish way worse than Mom.”
Adam muttered something under his breath.
Char bit her lower lip. “I was scared. Because of Shannon. I know you like her and if you believed her, you’d be so mad. But now I’m afraid you won’t like me anymore and you’ll go away and my dad will be sad and I’ll miss you, too.”
Shannon struggled to follow the logic. Her first thought was to wonder why Char would worry about her father leaving. Then she got the girl meant her.
The relief was instant. With an explanation in place, she could understand how things had gotten out of hand. Kids made mistakes, right?
Adam circled around to the front of the sofa and sat down. He held out his arms. Char rushed into them and hung on. Her whole body shook with her sobs.
“Now Tabitha’s comments make sense,” he said over his daughter’s head. “She wanted me to call later. She said that we needed to talk about getting Char into some different activities so she could make new friends.” He stroked his daughter’s back. “She also said we needed to come up with a punishment plan together, so the consequences for messing up were the same at both houses. Now I know why.”
Char straightened and faced her. “I don’t want you to go away,” she admitted. “I don’t want you to be mad at me. I’m sorry, Shannon. It’s nice when you’re here. Sometimes I get scared because I like you and you’re not my mom.”
Shannon’s chest tightened a little. She was doing just fine until that last bit, she thought grimly.
“I like you, too,” she told the girl.
Adam squeezed his daughter. “Okay, you’ve said what you wanted to. Now I’m going to take you back to your mom’s.”
Because it wasn’t his weekend to have her, Shannon thought. “Tabitha wanted her to do this today?”
“Yeah,” Adam said. “She felt it had festered long enough. I’m going to run her h
ome and come right back. Can you wait?”
She nodded. When he’d gone, she stayed on the sofa. Too much had happened, she thought. Their relationship had too many sharp edges and if she wasn’t careful, she was going to end up cut and bruised.
Stepchildren were a complication. One she didn’t know how to deal with. She loved Adam—that hadn’t changed. But this part of his life—she didn’t know how to deal. Having children with him, or anyone, was going to be different than she imagined. Hard. Worthwhile, she was sure, but not easy.
He was back as quickly as promised. He walked over to her and pulled her to her feet, then kissed her on the mouth.
“I’m sorry,” he said, holding her close. “I was so incredibly wrong about all of it. Can we talk about it?”
“Sure.”
They sat down. He kept her hand in his. “After the party I was mad. Char was crying and saying you’d ruined her birthday. I hadn’t been there. I felt guilty and angry.”
“You didn’t trust me,” Shannon said, remembering how betrayed she’d felt. “You didn’t bother to listen to what had happened.”
“She was crying. I had to deal with that.”
“Why? She wasn’t bleeding. You could have taken two minutes to let me explain what was wrong. But you didn’t even consider that. You listened to half of what I had to say, assumed I’d hurt her and went to make it better.”
He released her hand. “I never thought you’d hurt her.”
“Yeah, you did. I appreciate the apology, Adam. Don’t get me wrong. But it’s not just what she did to me. She was horrible to Madison. She didn’t like the girl’s gift and she tormented her about it. I’m not saying that’s a punishable offense, but it needs to be addressed. If she acts like that with all her friends, she’s not going to have any left in a few months.”
A muscle in his jaw tightened. “Shannon, I’m trying to make this right. I need you to get off Char and talk about us. I’ll deal with Char later. Tabitha and I are going to talk about her and what happened. I’ll ask about Madison. Now can we please talk about you and me?”
The Girls of Mischief Bay Page 29
