by Rene Folsom
“This is… my room,” she said, a slight hesitation mangling her otherwise confident voice.
In the center of the sunlit room was a simple king-sized bed—nothing but a mattress and white sheets that seemed to glow with the reflection of the sun. The rest of the space had been renovated into a pseudo library, shelves stocked full of literature beyond my wildest imagination. The bookshelves were in perfect order lining the walls, only breaking for the doorway where I stood and four floor-to-ceiling windows that let in natural light. Each window had a small, stained-glass rose decorating the top, casting beautiful colors across the books as the sun’s rays peeked through.
My eyes couldn’t help but examine every inch of the space around me, the cathedral ceilings making the stacks and stacks of books seem endless. Then, my eyes landed upon her…
Karoline.
“This is absolutely amazing,” I said, awestruck. Looking deep into her eyes, shimmering with gold flecks only an admirer would notice, I felt a sudden pang of desire—a need for her to see me as more than just her damn prisoner.
“I love to read,” Karoline replied sheepishly, her head downcast, though her eyes never left mine. “Even if my claws make it difficult to turn the pages.”
Breaking the trance, the hold she seemed to have on me, I walked further into the room and began fingering the spines of the books along one shelf. I noticed I’d read a few, though most were books I never heard of or gotten the chance to read yet. I spent my entire life reading, yet it always seemed like there was an endless supply of amazing literature to devour.
“This is the only place where I feel like I can be myself,” she said, her voice seeming to echo around me like we were in some sort of tiny space only meant to fit the two of us. “Well, if my imagination allows me to, I can be whoever… or whatever… I want in here.”
Turning to her, I tried to take in what all this meant. She wasn’t just showing me some random library stuffed with a bunch of books scattered about. She was actually showing me her soul—this room of hers contained her only prized possessions, so much of her I could only wish I’d be able to learn about.
Pointing to a book, a rather random book since I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around all of this long enough to read what they were about, I asked, “May I?”
“Of course,” she answered, gesturing for me to help myself to whatever tangible thing I could manage to get my hands on.
After pulling the dusty hardback from the shelf, Karoline and I engaged in a rather heated conversation about books long after the sun set behind the tree line of the forest.
I couldn’t help but finally feel like I was at home in her world.
The Light of Day
After a few blinks to clear the clouds away, my vision finally began to focus on my surroundings.
Books.
Thousands of books surrounded me on all sides.
Without meaning to, I’d apparently fallen asleep in Karoline’s bed. I stifled my gasp as I felt a pang of fear course through me, worried she’d be upset—pissed at me for overstaying my welcome in her sanctuary.
Sitting up, I was suddenly trapped by a vice circling my waist. It took a moment of rapid blinking for me to register what was holding me hostage.
There was Karoline… curled up against my side, her arm wrapped possessively around me, pinning me to the plush surface of the mattress like I was the only thing keeping her steady on this earth. Remaining still, I decided not to wake her, instead studying her face while she slumbered beside me.
Regardless of all the animalistic features, she was an amazingly beautiful creature. Beyond the thick coating of fur and snout-like nose, I saw a woman who was simply breathtaking.
For the first time in my life, I found someone who was truly beautiful to me.
I mulled over this revelation for a while, not daring to move an inch as I listened to her soft, even breaths. I never thought I could enjoy a girl clinging to me so tightly, memories of all the times Gabriella grabbed onto me springing to mind and the uncomfortableness that ensued each and every time. I feared never finding a girl I’d actually want to hug back, and yet… I couldn’t stop myself from pulling Karoline closer.
That was a mistake, because the second I shifted to pull her against me, her eyes snapped open. Freezing, I watched as she took in our situation, the gears in her wonderful head taking a second longer than usual to turn as the fog of sleep faded. Our eyes connected, and that was when I could have sworn I saw a blush underneath her fur.
She quickly pulled away, much to my disappointment. I fought off the frown that wanted to appear on my face as she stood from the bed and smoothed out the hair on top of her head.
She looked cute with bed head.
“Sorry,” she said quietly, turning away from me to hide her obvious embarrassment. The frown that fought for dominance quickly evaporated and was replaced by a humorous smile on my face.
“Don’t be,” I said, chuckling softly. “Can’t help what we do in our sleep.”
She gave me one of her patented sideways glances, watching me as I sat up in the bed and yawned.
“Sleep well?” she asked, trying to change the subject. I couldn’t stop the soft laugh that escaped me at her question.
“Yes, actually,” I replied honestly. “Best night’s rest I’ve had since I got here.”
This seemed to help ease her, and she visibly relaxed and turned to face me fully. “That’s good,” she said, seeming to mull over something. Then, she added, “It actually was for me as well.”
Surprised by this, I stared at her. She seemed to blush again and quickly moved to change the subject once more.
“So, what would you like to do today?”
I pursed my lips as if in thought, glancing at the army of literature around us.
“I might have an idea.”
The Tale
We spent the entire morning reading together, taking breaks only to use the bathroom and to eat breakfast. When we were preparing our bowls of cereal, I asked Karoline how she was able to procure her food and drinks out so thick in the forest.
“I have an independent delivery service bring me what I need once a month,” she explained. “They bring everything to me in bulk, so it lasts me quite a while.”
“And the roses?” I asked, wondering not only where she managed to get them, but also what was so fascinating about them that she had to have one in every room.
“Because you haven’t ventured out of the house since you’ve been here, I’m guessing you didn’t notice the rose garden out back?” she said, smiling as if she won some sort of argument. I’d never really thought about going outside since I got here, the house seeming to have enough natural light for me to be completely content staying indoors.
I wanted to pry further, but she grabbed her cereal and ran back up the stairway to her room before I could.
Questions leading to even more questions, I griped.
I chose a psychological thriller to read from the shelf, one Karoline said was a serious mind-bender, while she continued to read the book she’d previously been sifting through before I arrived. She sat with her back against the door, as if blocking it from me in case I decided to run. I couldn’t imagine running from her now, especially after discovering this sanctuary.
From my position on her bed, I kept glancing over at her. The book I was reading became neglected, only the first few pages really digested before I lost all focus. I tried to stop myself from looking at her, but I couldn’t help it. I was mesmerized by her. The way she held her book with delicate fingers, trying not to claw apart the cover, how she licked her lips every few minutes to moisten them like any other woman would, when she’d brush away the pesky little strands of hair that fell into her face as she read. I couldn’t stop staring.
“What?” she suddenly called out, startling me. I quickly hid behind my book, pretending that I hadn’t heard her because I was too engrossed in the blurred words on the page in front of me.
“I know you’ve been staring at me,” she said. “Is there something you want to ask me?”
I felt my face heat up out of embarrassment. I was caught, and there was no way out of it. “I just…” I coughed, clearing my throat. “I have a lot of questions I still want to ask you.”
“I can tell,” she said, closing her book and placing it in her lap. “I knew last night couldn’t be all of it.”
I felt the urge to avert my gaze, but kept strong and met her eyes. I learned at a young age that eye contact helped keep you strong when trying to do something difficult.
I needed as much courage as I could get for this one.
“I’ve been wondering this since the second we met,” I said hesitantly, taking a steadying breath. “I want to know, Karoline… how did you end up like this?”
There was no confusion in her eyes—she knew what I meant. She knew I was asking about her appearance, her living situation, everything.
I feared she might grow angry at the question, shun me like she had done so many times before, demanding I leave her room and keep my mouth shut. But, much to my surprise, she gave a weary sigh and stood.
“It’s… a difficult tale,” she said, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the opposite end of it from me, her words a slight stutter as she contemplated how to word it properly. I swung my legs over, letting my book rest on the pillow as I addressed all of my attention to her.
“You don’t have to tell me,” I said softly, reaching out to take her hand. Instead of jerking away like I expected, she held on to me, her fingers curling around mine. “If you’re not ready to talk about it…”
“No,” she said, interrupting me as she shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes. I felt horrible for having caused her to cry. Someone so beautiful should never be so sad… “You deserve to know. I’ve kept so many secrets from you. It’s only fair I share with you my biggest one.”
“I—”
“Please.” She squeezed my hand, silencing me with a pleading smile. “Do not talk. Just listen. I haven’t told anyone about this before, so just give me time to get it out.”
Pressing my lips together, I sat still, waiting patiently for her to push the fear aside and let the words flow.
“I was not born like this. As hard as this will be to believe, I was cursed… by a witch. A witch that was jealous of me.”
“She was jealous of you?”
Karoline gave me a look, and I zipped my trap shut.
“Before I was… transformed, I used to be beautiful. My family moved to America when I was very young, so I spent nearly my whole life in a little town called Robin Valley. When I got older, I became the most beautiful girl around, and I knew it. I was the foreign girl with a dimpled smile, and everyone loved me. I grew up listening to the praises of all the boys in school, and it went straight to my head. I became cruel to the other girls, treating them as if they were my enemies. Not only that, but I treated boys like they were objects I could toy with, and I did just that—never loving, only using. I was a bully, and I didn’t care. My family had money, influence, and everyone wanted some of it from me. I was the most popular girl around, and because of that, I thought I was invincible. That is, until I met the witch…
“She was somewhat of a pretty girl in her own right, but not very liked by my circle of friends—although friends is a bad word to use for the people I used to associate with. Her family didn’t have as much money as I did, and she didn’t quite blossom as quickly as I did when we were teens, so I had taken that as an invitation to antagonize her. Her and her twin sister seemed to be opposite in everything but their looks, but that didn’t keep me from being a beast to both of them. I bullied them, particularly the one girl, for a long time, thinking of it all as nothing more than a game—a sick, fucked-up game.
“She came to me one night, in my bedroom. I was shocked and confused, because she didn’t seem the same. She seemed… radiant, glowing with power. She told me that it was time I was punished for the things I had done, and she cast a spell on me. I was turned into what you see before you, this hideous beast that resembled what I looked like on the inside. I will never forget what she said to me that night after I was changed… ‘What lied within is now shown on the outside. You are forever cursed to walk this earth as you are now. A beast is all you ever were, Karoline Webber, and now you will know what it’s like to wear your personality on your skin.’”
She remained quiet for a moment after that, staring down at our interlocked fingers as moisture continued to rest at the corners of her eyes. She sniffed, shaking her head slightly and turning back to me. “I’m cursed like this forever, and it’s all because of how I used to be. I was cruel, manipulative, and a downright bitch. I deserve this, and I always will.”
“No,” I said, breaking my streak of silence. “You’re different. You’re not the same person you were before you changed.”
“You’re right,” she said, the tears starting to fall now. They mingled with the little whiskers on her cheeks, crinkling as she spoke. “I’m even worse, because it isn’t just my appearance that’s changed. My very nature has changed. I’m a monster, through and through.”
“Why would you say something like that?” I argued. “If you were a true monster, you would have just killed me and my father that night we met.”
“That’s just it…” Her voice hitched, her head turning as she looked away. “I don’t know what would have happened that night if you hadn’t made that offer. When your father saw me in the road that day while I was out running, I didn’t know what I’d do. For a few moments… I truly expected to have to kill him to keep my existence a secret. And when I first saw you… I was resigned to taking two lives that night.”
“But you didn’t,” I insisted, clenching her hand in my own. “You took my offer. You spared our lives. That proves that you’re not a monster, that you are human.”
“Does it though?” she said quietly. “I took your offer because of my selfish desire for companionship. Filling my home with roses to symbolize the beauty I once possessed didn’t seem like enough anymore to cope… at least until you came. I may not be a murderer, but I am still a—”
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I didn’t want to hear another word come out of her mouth about the subject. I wanted to shut her up, so I did the most logical thing at that moment.
Grabbing her chin, I kissed her.
Karoline was, understandably, shocked. She didn’t move as I pressed my lips against hers, unresponsive with her eyes wide open. I, on the other hand, closed mine and leaned into her, knowing that I was dead. In a brash act of foolishness, I let my whims take control of me, and I kissed her.
Well, might as well enjoy it before she pulled back and sliced my throat open in anger.
It took a second, but, to my shock, I felt the pressure of Karoline kissing me back. She leaned in, placing her hand on my cheek as her courage grew. I could feel the tips of her claws gently press into the skin under my ear, but I wasn’t afraid. I knew now that she would never hurt me.
She was not a beast, despite her way of thinking. She was Karoline. That was all she needed to be to truly be beautiful in my eyes.
The Exception
That kiss…
The kiss that seemed to change everything between us continued to fill my mind with hope and a newfound infatuation with Karoline.
My Karoline.
Even though our lips hadn’t pressed together since that day, we were still thicker than thieves, eating our meals together and continuing to devour her library one amazing book at a time. She even took me out to her rose garden, where we were able to read and talk in peace. It was paradise. I even went as far as trying to talk her into publishing her books, to which she adamantly refused, saying no one wanted to read stories written by a beast.
But a few days after that magical moment that altered my existence, she demanded to be alone, allowing me to take my book downstairs so I could stay ou
t of her hair. We’d come so far, so the fact she was pushing me away yet again was rather disheartening. I’d be crushed if we had to start building our trust in each other all over again.
I couldn’t help but sulk as I started a fire in the living room downstairs and settled into one of the plush chairs with my book in hand. It didn’t matter that the room was completely silent and I had no distractions to speak of, I still couldn’t seem to concentrate, my mind continually wandering to the enigmatic creature above me.
Placing the book on my chest, I hefted my leg up over the arm of the chair and settled in, staring at the ceiling, deep in thought.
What had I done to push her away? Did she finally realize how close we were becoming? Did it scare her to think someone could actually care for her?
I couldn’t help but compare the situation to the protagonists in her manuscript. A disfigured woman unwilling to perceive her own inner beauty, and an infatuated prince trying his all to prove to her he truly loved her.
My consciousness drifted along with my thoughts, and before I knew it, I was staring at my eyelids.
A loud thud startled me awake, my heart leaping from my chest before my body could catch up. Bolting upright, my book hit the floor as I gripped the arms of the chair and stared into the smoldering ashes of the fire. Not bothering to stoke it, I watched the glistening embers glow beneath the gray wood and tried to get a grip on myself. My pulse still thrummed through every nerve ending in my body as I tried to assess what had woken me.
It didn’t take long before another thud rung out over my head, followed by a loud scream. These noises were much, much louder than any I’d heard coming from her room in my previous nights under her roof.
“Karoline!” I hollered, jumping up from my perch and sporting a full-on sprint to the stairs. Reaching the bottom step, I looked up to the top and contemplated what she’d said mere hours before. She didn’t want me around.
Didn’t want me.
