Clark looked at me blankly for a second before realization dawned on him. He put his head in both of his hands, letting out a sound somewhere between a groan and a laugh.
“Merde, Addie. I think I’ll be fine.” His broad shoulders were shaking with mirth.
Surely that wasn’t relief that washed over me. It was hardly my business what Clark did or with whom. I waited until the woman was in the back before addressing it again.
“Just don’t say I didn’t offer.”
He glanced up, a cocky smile playing at his lips. “Flattering as your opinion of me is, if I had come on shore for that purpose, I would have required more than the hour and change we have left.”
Heat flushed through my body, but I pretended to misunderstand his meaning. “Come now, Clark. I’m sure it wouldn’t take you that long to find someone willing. You know traveler’s islands are full of people desperate from deprivation.” For reasons I couldn’t understand, jibing at him helped keep my dark thoughts at bay. I almost felt like a normal human being.
Clark’s laugh rumbled through his chest, but the reappearance of the shop girl stayed his response.
“Shall I be seeing you to a fitting room now or would you be liking to change out here as well, Mistress?”
Her sarcastic offer didn’t strike me as half bad, but I supposed the glass storefront made that a bit exhibitionist, even for my taste. I didn’t have to put the new clothes on immediately, but the idea of being in something that felt like mine again was too tempting. I gestured for her to lead on, my mask carefully in place to hide my pained grimace.
When I was behind a dress dummy and out of Clark’s sight, I risked clutching my side to alleviate the pain of each jarring step. It helped a little, but changing was going to be an exhausting exercise. The fitting room was all sage stripes and dusty rose carpets. I lowered myself onto the plushy bench, waiting for the girl to leave. After a moment, I realized she was planning to help me.
It was clear by now that I had no modesty to use as an excuse, but the walk here had reminded me I didn’t especially want her to catch sight of the myriad of bruises peppering my skin. Besides, the outfit I was wearing now and the one I had chosen would hide the amulet. I didn’t need her asking any questions about that. There was no telling who would come looking for us.
“I’ll manage. You may go.” I winced inwardly at how rude I sounded, but I couldn’t take the words back now. “The man up front will take care of the bill,” I added to lend validity to my dismissal of her. She left with a last sideways glance, shutting the door behind her.
I undressed carefully. It was impossible not to catch sight of my mottled, bony form in the wall-to-wall mirror, but I refused to let my eyes travel up to my face. Five minutes later, I emerged in a collared white shirt and comfortable brown pants. Low-heeled ankle boots completed the outfit.
Clark stood up when I came out. He held the door open, which was chivalrous and all, but inadvertently forced me to brush against him when I walked past. I held my breath, telling myself how little it mattered.
It’s no different from hugging Gunther or linking arms with Nell.
We passed the rest of the hour at an outdoor cafe. The open space was nothing like Madame’s cafe on East Island, but it made me a little nostalgic, nonetheless. We didn’t talk much. I was too tired to keep up our earlier banter.
Mostly, we just watched the people go by in a sea of leather corsets and fedoras. Another key difference from Ceithre were the swords hanging at several hips. I found myself studying their differences, from the short, curved blades to the longer straight ones. Some were ornate and jeweled, others utilitarian, but hardly a man passed without one.
The women who wore weapons seemed to favor daggers on leather, belted scabbards around their waists or thighs. It was a stark contrast to the women on Central Island, who were generally accompanied by men if they needed protection. I wished I was more like these women, but right now, I had more in common with the ones back on Central.
Dogs and cats wandered freely, but they didn’t look starved or unhappy. Locals stopped to pet or feed them, and a few of the dogs were walking alongside their owners. This place was peaceful, I realized. Something that had been missing from my life for a long time.
If Clark noticed my somber mood, he didn’t comment. Then again, he seemed as lost in his thoughts as I was.
Is he thinking similar thoughts? His life hadn’t had any more peace than mine had. I wondered if he even really had a home to go back to. Do any of us?
Despite our best-laid plans to enjoy the next hour of solid land, we were forced back to the ship early when the temperature abruptly dropped. Several of the more scantily-clad women ran for cover, but the locals walking near us hardly broke their stride to don their coats and cloaks, so it clearly wasn’t unusual for them. I had grown up in a town colder than this, but I was usually better prepared for the weather.
Clark didn’t share my fuzzy feelings about lower temperatures in general. Though he was the one in a coat, his cheeks were already reddening. When sleet started falling with a freezing rain, even I conceded we should head back to the boat.
We had some pastries and meat pies wrapped for the others. I picked out a treat for Shensi, and Clark sighed before adding it to our tab.
We rushed back in the quickly-worsening weather. I went straight to Nell’s cabin with a slice of elderberry pie, her favorite, opening the door without knocking. She looked up with a smile.
“Enjoy your rest?” I asked her.
“I did, actually. Enjoy your date?”
“I knew that’s what this was about!”
She dug into her pie with gusto, ignoring my accusatory look. “Well, did you?”
“I didn’t think of it that way. At one point, I even offered to make myself scarce, so he could make use of the hourly motel.”
Nell choked on her pie with what might have started out as a laugh of disbelief. “Tell me you’re joking,” she said once she got herself under control.
I shook my head. She laughed harder. I couldn’t help but join her, though the searing pain in my ribs made me instantly regret it.
“Why are you pushing this when you were so hell-bent against Perry?” I asked.
Her face darkened. “I didn’t have a problem with Perry, but that life would have stifled you, bled the life out of you until you were no more than a shell of your former self. I didn’t want to see that happen to you.”
She seemed sure of her bleak prediction for my life with Perry. Is she right? Is that what I had been agreeing to all those weeks ago? It didn’t matter now.
Perry may have let people believe we were engaged to keep me safe, which I appreciated. If there was anything being confined on that ship had taught me, though, it was that there was nothing worth giving up your freedom for. We had never officially agreed to that engagement, and I would not be bound by it.
I didn’t want to talk about that anymore, though. “How are you feeling, really?” I asked her.
Nell’s expression sobered. “Like I got impaled a couple weeks ago. Like I was responsible for my only friend’s kidnapping and subsequent injury. Like my past is catching up to me in all the worst ways.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked awkwardly. I cared, but this level of sharing was uncharted territory for us. A few snippets here and there was one thing, but we had primarily built our friendship on time spent together in the present.
“Not really.” She grabbed my hand with her free one and squeezed it.
I squeezed back, and we stayed like that, comforting each other in silence while she finished her pie.
The boat finally rumbled back to a start, and we both headed up to the upper deck. It was still cold, but thankfully no longer raining.
Clark intercepted me. “Don’t get upset, but I got you something today.”
I stared, taken aback, ignoring Nell’s waggling eyebrows behind him.
“Why would I be upset?” I final
ly said. “Besides, I recall you buying me several somethings today.” I realized I hadn’t thanked him for the clothes. I forced myself to add, “Thank you, by the way.”
He his eyebrows rose. “Of course.”
He led me over to the bench where Gunther and Xavier were already seated. Nell sat down next to Xav, the furthest from where I was standing. The second package from earlier was sitting there. The package from the weapon shop. Instinctively, I backed away.
He held up a hand to stop me. “You need to be able to defend yourself, Addie.”
“That’s hardly your decision to make.”
“So, you’d rather be helpless again next time someone decides to do that?” Clark gestured to my face, his voice rising.
I glared back. “There won’t be a next time.”
“Sure, Addie. Maybe from this point forward, everyone will just start asking nicely for that necklace instead of trying to kill you for it.”
My own temper was rising now. “I won’t let that happen again.”
“And how exactly do you plan to stop it without this?” He gestured toward the dagger.
I didn’t have an answer, but I couldn’t even look at the damned thing. “I’m not taking the dagger, Clark. I’ll find a way.”
“Like hell, you will.” His cobalt eyes blazed. “I’m starting to wonder if you enjoy being kidnapped and beaten, since that’s the only possible reason I can think of for you to not learn to protect yourself.”
I sucked in a breath, fury and shame vying for dominance inside. Before I could help myself, I looked at Xavier, the only person who knew what had truly transpired. The sorrow in his eyes caught me off guard. Nell’s expression was something else entirely.
I hardly saw her move before I heard the resounding slap of her palm against Clark’s face.
“That was an awful thing to say.” Nell said, her cheeks red with outrage.
He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. His face cleared of the anger that had been there moments ago, and he opened his mouth.
I cut him off. “Don’t.” I left to my cabin before he could utter another word. He didn’t follow me. I couldn’t decide if I was grateful or if that only fueled my rage. It was hours before I heard a knock on the door.
“Go away.”
“It’s not Clark. It’s Xavier.”
Is that better? I couldn’t decide. I deliberated a moment before reluctantly pulling open the door.
“Can we talk?” Blue-green eyes stared beseechingly into my own. He stood with his hands clasped in front of him, his usually-massive form seeming somehow smaller.
“Upstairs,” I surprised myself by agreeing. I shut the door on Shensi, knowing she would likely only hiss at Xav if she followed me.
He nodded and stepped back for me to lead the way. I waited him out, not yet sure if I wanted him at my back. If the pinching around his eyes was any indication, he got my meaning. He turned and headed up the stairs, not waiting to see if I would follow.
The deck was blessedly cool and airy, and more importantly, empty. I walked over to the railing, taking in the familiar sight of undulating waves splashing against the hull. This time of night, the green hue of the water was indistinguishable from the Ceithren deep blue. The silver moon reflected on the crests. I focused on the calming view, blocking out the foreign tang to the salty air.
I never thought I would miss home. I didn’t really, as much as I missed knowing my place in the world.
“I know you don’t want to talk about what happened,” Xav interrupted my thoughts. I wasn’t sure when he had come to stand next to me.
I couldn’t keep the bite out of my voice. “And yet, here we are.” He was right. I didn’t want to talk about it.
“Well, you won’t tell anyone else the truth.”
“And neither will you.”
“Of course not. I’ve betrayed you more than enough for one lifetime.” He seemed smaller than usual, though he dwarfed me by a solid foot.
I didn’t argue with him.
“That said,” he continued, “I think you should take the dagger. If you’d had your own before…”
“I would have stabbed you?” I offered.
He startled me by chuckling. “Possibly.”
“And yet here you are encouraging it. Do you wish that I had?”
“Honestly? Yes.” All trace of humor had vanished from his voice. “I wish something had stopped this trajectory.” The sincerity in his voice took me aback. His hands clenched the railing, dark knuckles turning white.
Reaching into a well of compassion I had begun to doubt I possessed, I put my hand on top of his. “I’m not saying I forgive you. But hey, it’s not like you killed anyone, right?” My voice came out flat.
“You did what you had to do, Addie. No one would fault you for that.”
“I don’t feel guilty. Not really. Maybe that’s the problem.” I didn’t know why I was talking to him about this, except that he was the only one who knew.
“That just means you’re reasonable enough to know it came down to him or you. And you feel something, or you wouldn’t have looked at that dagger like it was a Kavori spider.”
I shuddered at the image of the giant, furry, venomous spiders native to West Island.
“I know what Clark said was horrible,” he continued. “But his intentions were in the right place.”
Some part of me had already acknowledged that, but I wasn’t ready to say it out loud. I didn’t take my hand from Xavier’s, finding my own absolution in an attempt to grant him his.
After all, we were both just two broken people put in horrendous situations and trying to make the best calls we could. Maybe we had both failed at that, but I couldn’t pretend not to know where he was coming from.
The Protector
Xavier stood impatiently off to the side while the general finished up a conversation in his cabin. Finally, getting irritated, he rapped hard on the cabin door. The general opened, looking confused and irked. “Yes?”
“You sent for me. Urgently, apparently. Here I am.” Xavier glared at the man.
“I didn’t send for you.” The general’s calm tone was a stark contrast to the instant panic that overtook Xav. If he hadn’t wasted time waiting for the general to finish up his conversation, thinking the man merely inconsiderate, Xav would have gotten to Addie sooner.
All of Xav’s alarm bells were sounding loudly in his head as he ran back to Addie’s cell, hoping Jethro had deposited her there unharmed. He immediately thought of Clark and what his younger brother would think of him if he let someone hurt Addie. Even aside from that, Xav wouldn’t be able to live with himself if anything had happened to her.
Racing across the deck, he could hear the footfalls of the general behind him.
He didn’t know exactly what was going on, but the way Addie had been unable to hide a cringe each time she saw that slimy bastard had been enough to tell him that it couldn’t be good.
Finally bounding down the stairs, past the eyes of several suspicious crew members, he and the general arrived to find Addie and Jethro in her cell. She was covered in blood and clutching a dagger, crouching behind Jethro’s still-warm body.
Xav could barely hear what the general said over the inner turmoil of his own self-loathing. He had done this in his misguided efforts to protect his brothers. When had he become the villain? After only ever wanting to protect, he failed in the most miserable way. He needed to fix this.
He put a plan in motion. Waiting was no longer an option. He could only do so much on his end, but he knew his brothers were capable enough to make this work. Between Clark’s stubbornness and Gunther’s brilliance, Xavier had faith they could make it here. And he knew them well enough to know they were following him. It was a long shot, but if he could get them his projected coordinates, they might all make it off this ship alive.
Chapter Seventeen
CLARK
I hadn’t managed to fall asleep yet when I heard familiar heavy f
ootfalls on the deck. For a girl who couldn’t have weighed more than fifty kilos, Addie walked like an elephant. I nearly smiled at the thought before remorse came crashing down on me, along with a vivid memory of the hurt that flashed across her face when I accused her of enjoying her beating earlier.
Nell’s hand had come slowly enough for me to stop it, but I had already realized how deserved that slap was. However harsh my words had been, it had taken me a few hours to rein in my own temper. Didn’t she realize people were after her? Hadn’t she just said she wanted to defend herself? She was hopeless with a sword, but Gunther had been right. She might just have a chance with a dagger.
I needed to talk to her. I crept out of the room I shared with Gunther. Warm air greeted me in the hallway, a contrast to the frigid temperatures of a mere few hours ago. I couldn’t make sense of the climate on this side of the world.
Silence greeted me on the deck, so it took a moment for me to realize there was more than one person up there. Xavier and Addie stood side by side, hand in hand at the railing.
The girl who could hardly utter a civil word to me was holding hands with the man who had kidnapped her and subjected her to the injuries that had her clutching her ribs when she walked. Blood rushed in my ears, and I curled my hands into fists. My lips drew taught as I took a step toward them.
But then they both turned, wearing identical expressions of profound sadness. My anger ebbed away as quickly as it had come.
Xavier glanced between Addie and me. “I’m headed to bed,” He retreated downstairs, leaving us in silence once again.
She turned back to the sea after a moment.
I went to stand next to her. “I didn’t mean what I said.”
“I know.” Her voice was flat, expression distant.
I had expected an argument. I didn’t know how to respond to that.
“I’ll take the dagger.”
The Tempest Sea Page 12
