Relief coursed through me. “And what about me?”
“What about you?” She was being intentionally obtuse this time.
I deliberated for a moment, not especially wanting to put myself out there when I had no idea where her mind was at. “Do you have feelings for me?”
“Clark, we don’t have to do this. I told you I won’t hold you to last night.”
I stepped closer to her and spun her gently around, needing to see her face when I talked to her. One of us had to cave, and it was certainly never going to be her.
“What if I want to be held to it?”
Her eyes were red. It could have been from the water, but I didn’t think so. I had seen it this morning also.
“Look,” I hesitated, searching for the words. “Right now, we can’t do anything about this marriage. Would it be the worst thing in the world to see it through?”
“You want to stay married to me?” Addie’s eyes were wide, almost afraid.
“Why not? At least, for now?” I asked, feeling somewhat defensive.
Her face darkened with irritation. “Perfect, Clark. That seems like a great reason to marry someone. And there is no such thing as a ‘marriage for now.’”
“Technically, I already married you. And I am a man of my word.” I grinned at her.
She bit her lip and her gaze heated.
Oh, so it’s like that, is it? I filed away the reaction, certain I would need that grin to get me out of a future argument.
“Is that what this is about then? Your word?”
I groaned in frustration. “No, Addie. Merde! Is it so hard for you to believe I just want to be with you?”
“Forever? When we barely know each other?”
I raised my eyebrows. “I wouldn’t say that, exactly.”
Addie didn’t blush, one of the many things I loved about her. She did, however, ignore me, aside from a pointed look.
“If we hadn’t woken up incidentally married today, what would you have done?” There was a challenge in her eyes.
“You mean, if I hadn’t woken up to you running away?”
Now her cheeks colored, but she only nodded. I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I hadn’t thought that far ahead, really. I had just wanted to be with her. It hadn’t occurred to me that she would disappear before we could decide where to take it from there.
She raised her eyebrows in a clear, I told you so.
I held up a finger. “No, you don’t get to do this. Give me a minute to think, Addie.” I ran my hand through my hair.
She shook her head and lathered up her hair, turning her back to me. This felt more intimate than last night, somehow, even though she was damned determined to act like none of it meant anything.
I sighed. “It’s not easy when you’re standing there looking like that.”
“Maybe it’s not easy, because you’re trying so hard not to say what we both already know.”
“Maybe it’s not easy, because this situation isn’t easy or conventional.” My voice rose with my vehemence. “It’s not like I can go to your father and declare my intentions, Addie. Take you out to the picture show and give you my class ring. But if you’re asking if I expected to wake up this morning and go on with our lives like last night never happened, the answer to that is a resounding ‘no’.”
Her body stilled, and I decided to turn the tables.
“And what about you, Addie? There were two of us there last night, as I recall it, but only one of us who was hell-bent on sneaking out while the other was still sleeping.”
“I was trying to make it easier on you,” she said after a moment.
“Lie to me, but don’t lie to yourself. You were trying to make it easier on you. Heaven forbid you acknowledge you have actual feelings once in a while.”
“What is it that you want me to say, Clark?”
“I’d settle for any honesty at all at this point.”
She turned around and stepped closer to me, wringing out her short locks. I pinpointed the moment she gave in, taking a deep breath.
“I suppose that’s fair.” Her voice was quiet, raspier than usual, but her eyes bored directly into mine. “No, I didn’t have a plan last night. Yes, I left this morning, because it was easier on me. I didn’t want to make assumptions. I didn’t want to want things I couldn’t have.”
I closed the distance between us, trailing my fingers from her shoulders down to her hands, then placing them on my chest. I put my own hands around her waist, pulling her into me. I could have pressed her for more or teased her about wanting me or done any number of things that might have driven her away, but I refused to risk it. She had told me what I wanted to know.
I kissed her on the forehead before speaking. “What about things you can have?”
She peered up at me through her lashes, conflicting emotions swirling in her eyes.
“All right.” Addie bit her lip. “If you’re in, I’m in.” She stood on her tiptoes to cover my mouth with hers, wrapping her wet arms around my neck.
I pulled her legs up until she was wrapped around me and turned, pinning her back against the wall, never breaking the kiss. Water was streaming down both of us now, steam building up around us, but I hardly noticed. My senses were captivated by the girl in my arms.
The feel of her against me, the taste of her lips on mine, the soft, breathy noises she was making that were so at odds with the controlled voice she usually spoke in — all of it intoxicated me.
“I’m definitely in,” I breathed.
Her eyes opened in response. The intensity burning from them caught me off-guard, and my own breath hitched.
Being with her was unlike anything I had ever experienced. It wasn’t hard to figure out why I hadn’t been horrified by the news that we were married, accidentally or not. The idea of spending my days arguing with her and my nights making up really wasn’t frightening. It actually sounded pretty perfect.
The Princess
Nell wasn’t sure, even after she left Adelaide’s house, if her motives in coming had been entirely pure. She did want to comfort the grieving girl, but she also needed closer insight into the elite world of the Kensingtons. Especially when she had come to suspect Director Kensington was involved with things best left alone.
The Ceithrens may have been at a loss as to the cause of the explosion, but Nell had seen the power of the crystals somewhat unchecked before. This one had to have been powerful. While there were some relics of her land in this part of the world, the timing felt too coincidental. Someone was obtaining Levelian tech, and Nell would damned well find out who and why. And most importantly, how.
Watching Adelaide grieve silently and alone, though, it was impossible for Nell to keep her entirely at arm’s length. Something in Addie resonated with Nell, and she found herself with her first real friend since coming here. Adelaide’s caustic wit and stubborn strength were a world apart from her cousin BeLa’s open, sunny nature and unyielding optimism. Still, they had a different sort of bond.
Nell hadn’t realized the emptiness that had been threatening to swallow her up until it was filled with hours exploring Adelaide’s cosmetics or trying to goad Shensi, the cat, into actually playing or moving. Adelaide’s indifference called to Nell’s recklessness. As the years went on, their antics morphed into a different kind of fun.
Additionally, Adelaide was so caught up in her grief that she didn’t think to ask too many questions about Nell’s life. Nell felt guilty for being grateful for that, but it was the only thing allowing her to finally have someone in her life, to finally breathe again.
Chapter Thirty
ADELAIDE
We were leaving the shower room, Clark in his soaking pants and me back in his shirt, when we literally ran into his brothers. Well, I stumbled into Gunther, and Clark stopped himself in time.
“Brother,” Xav called, a wide grin on his face. Then he added with a glint in his eye, “And sister?”
“We just heard,” said Gu
nther more sedately. “Though, I already thought of you as a sister.”
“Really, though. Neither of you thought to mention it?” Xav asked. His eyes dipped to Clark’s shoulder and he opened his mouth to tease us. I cut him off.
“No one thought to mention it to us, either.” I fought down the rising panic in my chest. I hadn’t had any time to process this yet, and now the whole ship knew.
Did I really just agree to stay married to him?
Clark looked at my face for a moment, then put an arm around his brothers, turning them slightly away from me.
“We’ll talk about it over breakfast. Or is it lunch now? Either way, I’m starved. Grab us a table, and we’ll meet you guys up there.” Just like that, he effectively dismissed his brothers without offending them.
Here, I had been seconds away from blurting out something about minding their own business and leaving us alone. Reluctantly, I had to admit that Clark’s way was better.
“Wait here a moment?” Clark ducked into his room and came out seconds later with an armful of clothes. We headed back to our cabin to change. Shensi was waiting outside the door to get in.
Is it our cabin now? Am I already thinking of it that way? Is he?
I am going to drive myself crazy.
“Turn your brain off, Addie,” Clark said, like he could read my mind. “We don’t have to figure everything out right now.”
Easy for him to say. That wasn’t how my brain worked.
Clark entered the cabin. “I mean it. Come here.” He held his arms open.
I paused before shuffling into them. His heartbeat was steady and calm, and I tried to force my own to mirror it. Warm lips on my forehead surprised me, and the intimacy of the gesture brought pink to my cheeks. I was used to competent Clark and sexy Clark, and even caring Clark, but sweet Clark was something new entirely.
“Interesting. You don’t bat an eyelash at the crew’s bawdy jokes but a kiss on the forehead makes you blush?”
I stepped back and scowled up at him. He smirked, closed the door, and unbuckled his utility belt. I relaxed onto the bed and watched him brazenly, enjoying our reversal in roles from the shower room. Not that Clark cared. He met my eyes across the small cabin and raised an eyebrow. Heat flooded through my body, but I refused to look away. Instead, I let a slow smile spread across my face, and Clark groaned.
“You’re killing me, Addie. We have to go. Aren’t you going to change?”
I might have found that offensive under other circumstances, but my clothes were damp and rumpled. Also, I was still in his shirt. It didn’t matter, though.
“No. You have to go.” Shensi curled up next to me, cementing my desire to stay put. She had been wandering the ship more lately, but still gravitated toward my room. “I plan on staying in this cabin and catching up on some much-needed rest.” I gave what I was sure was a very convincing yawn and ignored the part of me that didn’t want to be away from Clark right now. That part was dangerous and untrustworthy.
Clark’s pointed look told me exactly what he thought of that yawn.
“You’ll have to face them sometime. We may as well do it together. Besides, you should eat something.”
Hearing Clark talk about facing things together had tears burning at my eyes for reasons I didn’t understand — or didn’t want to understand. My stomach growled audibly. Between that and the unwelcome realization that I would feel guilty leaving Clark to deal with all of this on his own, I dragged myself off the bed and into more appropriate clothes.
It took us longer than it should have, because Clark wasn’t nearly as behaved while I was changing as I had been for him, but I couldn’t complain. Things were just getting heated again when a telltale meow interrupted us.
“I hate that cat,” Clark said.
I slapped his arm. “Don’t make me take back what I agreed to in the shower room.”
“Are you saying that in a choice between me and your cat, the cat would win?”
I shrugged. “I’m saying that is not a choice you want to force me to make.”
Clark’s offended expression elicited a laugh from me, but my mirth didn’t stick around for long. It was time to head to lunch. The everyday noises of the deck reached us halfway up the stairs, and my spine stiffened.
What if people stare? How can we explain this? What will they think? What do I want them to think?
A muscled arm curved around my waist.
“Relax. It’s not a big deal.” His breath in my ear was almost distraction enough that I didn’t care.
Then I reminded myself, I am Adelaide Kensington. I have faced down petty gossip and rumors for years. This is nothing I can’t handle.
The sincere happiness on the faces of the crew was nothing like the spiteful comments from the social scene on Central, though. I pieced together my heiress face and tried not to notice when they shied slightly away from it. Clark squeezed me a little tighter and kept his own signature grin on display, fielding congratulations and questioning glances while expertly maneuvering us through the crowded deck.
I spotted Nell on her hands and knees scrubbing an already-clean stretch of planks, but I didn’t approach her. I wasn’t ready for that conversation yet.
At least the galley was mostly empty. Gunther and Xavier sat at a table near the inner wall. Clark and I grabbed plates and joined them. I stared resolutely down at my roll, willing the ground to swallow me up before I had to try to explain what happened or the tenuous decision we had come to.
“So,” Xavier started out. “It’s about time.”
I looked up sharply. Clark was sitting so close to me, I felt rather than heard his sigh.
“Really, brother? Way to try for tact.”
“What? I’m just saying. It was obvious how you guys felt about each other —” He cut off with an ‘oof’ and went to rub his leg where Clark or Gunther had apparently kicked him.
My cheeks flamed, though something in my chest bloomed at the idea that Clark’s brothers thought he cared about me. And didn’t mind.
Gunther broke in. “I think Xavier is trying to say we are happy for you guys no matter what, but you seemed to indicate earlier this was an accident.”
I let Clark explain what happened, not taking my eyes off my rations until another voice interrupted him.
“Mrs. Kensington. Mr. Kensington. Good afternoon.” The captain gave us a terse smile.
I choked on my biscuit, and Clark’s face took on a comical confusion.
“Mr. Kensington?” he asked.
“In Levelia, the man takes the woman’s name.”
“We aren’t in Levelia,” he said.
“But your marriage was performed on a Levelian ship, by a Levelian captain, so that’s what I shall call you.” She had a wicked gleam in her eyes, as though daring him to point out how this was any different than my taking his name.
I blanched a little at the idea of sharing a name with the man who had killed my family, anyway, so this was a nice reprieve from that conversation. Until we sorted this whole thing out, anyway. I ignored the sinking in my gut at that thought.
Xavier’s booming laugh carried through the entire galley, and even Gunther was chuckling.
“She did say Mr. Kensington, didn’t she?” he asked me.
I didn’t think he actually needed the clarification. Gunther’s teasing was subtler than Xav’s.
“She did,” I assured him, smirking at Clark.
His own expression lightened when he spotted mine. “Very well. Mr. Kensington it shall be,” he said dramatically, pressing his lips to my forehead again.
A warm feeling spread throughout my entire body, and I struggled to remember we were in a room full of people.
“By the way,” the captain continued, “I’ve given Gunther the day off for his services yesterday, but you and Xavier still have heavy lifting to do. I hope you didn’t overly tax yourself last night.” She winked and walked away.
I laughed outright, not bothering to feign
a blush.
“Well, did you?” I asked him dryly.
He looked affronted. “Don’t be ridiculous. And I won’t tire myself out before tonight either.” He fixed me with a heated stare, and I swallowed. He had won that round.
“Come on, lover boy,” Xav said. “Those water barrels won’t haul themselves.”
Since Gunther had the day off and I had never actually been assigned duties, we found a spot on the deck to enjoy the fresh air. Gunther looked at me with kindness in his eyes.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
“Do you want to talk about the island?” I countered. I thought he would say no, but he surprised me.
“I never thought I would have to go back there. And seeing him, knowing a small part of him regrets it is almost worse than letting him be the monster in my head.”
“He is a monster, regret or no,” I said to Gunther.
“And my other father?” he asked. He looked so vulnerable in that moment that I told him what I hadn’t told anyone.
“I’m not sure,” I said.
Gunther’s eyes widened.
“I think,” I started, then stopped, hating the words before they came out of my mouth, but knowing they were true nonetheless. “I think he tried to protect me on that ship. I know he did. When I… killed that man,” I paused, swallowing.
Gunther put his hand over mine.
“Your father took the blame,” I continued, grateful for his comfort. “He told them only I could use the amulet, and I suspect he knew that wasn’t strictly true.
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