by Zen DiPietro
“That’s Hawk’s.” Raptor didn’t earn himself any points with his dry observation.
“Fine!” She stomped to the second bedroom and went in. She stood, arms crossed, waiting for him to follow.
When the doors closed behind him, she launched her assault. “You—”
“I’m sorry.”
“What?” She searched his face, but his expression was as soft as his voice.
“I thought you were going to blow me off again,” he explained. “I guess I was more worried about that than I realized. I’m sorry.”
She’d been ready for a fight, and now he wasn’t cooperating. The man was impossible. “How do you know I’m not blowing you off?”
His whole face lit with amusement. “You didn’t chase me down and misuse your security override to tell me you want to be just friends.”
She tried to find some part of that to argue with, but couldn’t. “Prelin’s ass! Stop being right.”
He laughed. “I really pissed you off, didn’t I?” He stepped closer.
She scowled at him.
“Good.”
“How is that good?” she snapped.
“It means that I finally matter to you.”
“You’ve always—”
“Kind of. As long as it didn’t get in the way of our job.”
Her irritation burned off. He wasn’t wrong. “I thought you felt the same about it.”
“I did. I mean, not at the very first. But then we were together, as partners and sometimes more, and that worked. I was good with it being that way.”
“Then I went and changed things on the Nefarious, after I got burned.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “You started it. Changed us.” He rubbed his ear and stared past her to the wall. “When you lost your memory, it was like a reset. You didn’t remember us. I figured maybe that was better, so I told you as little as possible. But there was still a spark between us. And you wanted to actually be with me—for real, not as stress relief after a near miss. I started thinking about it as a real possibility.”
“It was never just stress relief,” she told him. “It was more like, when the chips were down, all the stuff about not being together didn’t matter.”
His expression softened. “I know.”
She sat on his bed. “In my quarters a minute ago, I was only trying to clarify. We’d never talked—”
“Like I said, I jumped to a conclusion. I was wrong. But I’ve already said ‘I’m sorry’ twice now, and I’m not doing it again.” He sat next to her with a teasing smile.
“Okay. So where does this leave us?”
He leaned in and kissed her neck, right over her carotid artery. “No idea.” His hair brushed against her ear and she could smell its familiar scent—unchanged after all these years.
She ignored it. She had to be entirely clear with him. “I’m still involved with Wren. I think. I mean, since we’ve been back she and I haven’t…” Yeah, there was no good way to finish that sentence. “But she and I aren’t finished. There’s still something there.”
“I know. But would you be here right now if you’d never married her?”
She had to think about that for a minute. Being with Wren had opened her up to possibilities she’d never considered. “No.”
He moved closer and kissed the corner of her mouth. “Exactly. So I don’t care.”
“Maybe you don’t care tonight. But maybe you will tomorrow.”
He covered her hands with his. “I’ve had plenty of time to think this through. There will never be anyone but you for me. And I know you’ll never share what you and I have with anyone else either. So if she’s the adapter that makes the two of us fit, I’m good with that.”
“What about monogamy?” she asked. “I was raised to think it matters.”
He curled his fingers around her hands. “So don’t pick up any stray lovers and you can be monogamous with both of us.”
She laughed. “That’s not how it works.”
He slid his hands up her forearms. “It does if it works for us.”
She sighed. “This love stuff is foolish and messy. There’s a reason I wanted to keep it professional.”
“Yes, I know.” He leaned in close to whisper in her ear. “Also, ha ha. You said ‘love.’”
Dammit. He was right. But she felt strange about the idea. She didn’t want to be less than loyal to Raptor or Wren. “What if you change your mind?”
“I won’t. So shut up.” He shifted so his lips were a breath from hers.
She shut up.
She woke up alone in Raptor’s room. After a quick shower she put her clothes back on so she didn’t have to run them through the processor. They were lounge clothes, but she’d dash back to her own quarters and get dressed. Nobody would see.
But when she stepped out of the room, her team had already assembled in the sitting area. Hawk, Peregrine, and Ross glanced at her from seated positions without pausing their conversation.
Fallon turned her back on them to look toward Raptor in the kitchenette. She tried to send him a message with her eyes. No one is surprised by this?
He arched an eyebrow at her.
Of course they’d figured it out. They were intelligence operatives, for Prelin’s sake. They’d simply been minding their own business all these months.
She saw Raptor silently laughing at her as he approached and handed her a cup of hot tea. “Here.”
“Thanks.” She sat with the others. “It’s good to have you back.”
Hawk winked at her. “We missed you too, kid. Wasn’t the same without you.”
“What did you find?” She sipped her tea.
“Everything we needed,” Peregrine answered. “It was almost too easy.”
“‘Too easy’ as in ‘it must be a trap’?”
“I don’t think so.” Raptor had taken a seat on the couch. “It’s just that Colb is staying in plain sight, behind several layers of security. It wasn’t hard for us to get a good look at it all to see exactly what we were dealing with. I mean, it would have been impossible for your average Joe, but we knew what we were looking for.”
“Right.” Colb had such a high profile that if anything happened to him, it would immediately be noticed and featured on every news cycle. He probably had some provisions in place as well, as security against being kidnapped by Blackout. Certain documents and statements, probably, that would be released in the event of his capture. It was what Fallon would have done, and what Blackout would expect.
“So we can get in to see him?” Fallon asked. “Without Blackout seeing us do it?”
“I’m still working out a few details,” Raptor said. “But yes.”
“Anything happen on Dragonfire while we were gone?” Hawk asked.
“Yes. Brak approved me for physical activity and I’ve recruited the Onari. Jerin, Brak, and Kellis are with us.”
“Wow,” Hawk said. “That’s quite a development.”
Peregrine nodded. “That’s great.”
Raptor only smiled. Was he smiling at her more than usual, or the regular amount? She frowned at him, but that only made him grin outright.
“So when do we go see Colb?” she asked.
“I should know later today,” Raptor answered.
“Good.” She sipped her tea. “Anything else to report?”
They shook their heads.
“In that case…” She set her cup on the table and stood. “I’m going to get dressed and start my day. Some of us have to work for a living.” She smiled at their pretend outrage before slipping out the door. “Keep me posted.”
4
She did her job, and her team did theirs. By the time her duty shift ended, Avian Unit had a plan to acquire Admiral Colb. It was about damn time.
“Will we need any additional gear?” she asked after they’d outlined their plan in her quarters.
“No. We’re set,” Hawk said.
“Okay. I’ll update the captain on our plans and
let Arin know that he’s in charge of security while I’m gone. Anything else?” When no one spoke up, she said, “Good. I’ll see you all at the docking bay in the morning.”
Peregrine said goodnight and made her escape. She probably had a date.
Ross and Raptor left together, but invited her along for some dinner.
“No, but thanks.” She appreciated the offer.
Hawk was last to leave. “Meet me at the pub in an hour,” he said as he stood.
“What? Why waste an evening on me when there’s a whole station full of people you haven’t seen naked?”
He gave her knee a light slap as he went by on his way to the door. “Hardly wasted on my favorite drinking buddy. It’s been too long since we had a drink together.”
He was right. It had been a couple months, at least. “Okay, but you’re buying.”
“Sure.”
“And I haven’t had dinner, so you can buy me that too.”
He rubbed his beard. “So long as you eat it at the bar, fine by me.”
“See you in an hour, then.”
Fallon was halfway through her ale when Hawk finally said, “Sooo…”
“Nope. Uh-uh.”
“What?” He feigned innocence so well that she could almost believe it.
She fixed him with a frosty look. “I know what you’re after. I already had to have a ‘feelings’ conversation with Wren, and then another with Raptor. I am not doing it again with you.”
“Didn’t say you had to.”
“Good. Because I won’t.” She tipped the rim of her glass at him to make her point.
“Good. I hate that stuff.” Hawk finished his drink and punched in an order for another, since they were at a table rather than sitting at the bar. He’d made only a token complaint about that because the bar had been full. “Feelings. Bleh.” He wore a look of disgust, which made her smile.
He waited a full minute until he said, “Although…”
She pointed at him in warning.
He chuckled. “You told each of them about the other, right?”
“Of course. They’re both fine with it.”
“Sounds like you aren’t fine with them being fine. Are you mad they aren’t jealous, or something? That each of them knows what they want, and it doesn’t involve the need to be your one and only?”
“No!” She bristled. He made her sound childish when she was only trying to be ethical.
His drink arrived and he began pouring it down his throat. He banged the glass down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I don’t see your problem. You can relax and have a good time.”
“It’s not about a good time.”
“Maybe it should be. You’ve been way too serious the whole time I’ve known you. Probably before I knew you, too. Why shouldn’t you just enjoy yourself, for once in your life? Especially when we’re talking about two people who love you, and aren’t making demands on you? You’re one lucky asshole, and you don’t know it.”
She frowned at him. “I’m ordering food now.” She requested a variety of finger foods, then on second thought, doubled the order. Otherwise, Hawk would end up eating all her food.
“Give it some thought, will you?”
“Fine. I’ll think.” She added a dessert to her order. A big chocolate cake-pudding-pie thing that sounded both awful and awesome.
“That’s all I’m saying.”
She studied him. “Okay. You’re right about me being driven, at least. I was always that way, even as a kid. Fortunately I had a good family—still have a good family. They helped me channel my energy into something positive.” He had met her parents when they raided the Tokyo PAC base.
“But what about you? You grew up hard, didn’t you?” she asked, shifting the attention to him. She was sick of talking about herself.
He heaved a huge sigh, followed by a long pause that made her think he wouldn’t answer. Finally he said, “Yeah. Very hard. Tell you what. If we live through this thing we’re doing now, I’ll fill you in. But not tonight. Deal?”
“Deal. But if you want dessert, you need to order your own.”
“I don’t need any sweets.”
“Fine, but I’m serious. You’re not eating mine.” She gave him a threatening look.
He smiled.
Their food arrived as they finished their drinks, chatting about pleasantly impersonal things. As much as she preferred that, she felt she needed to be sure that Avian Unit wouldn’t change, in light of recent events.
“So,” she ventured, “you don’t have a problem with Raptor and me?”
“No. Never did. It was you two who were up your own asses about it.”
She laughed in surprise. “What about the whole complicating-the-team thing?”
“That’s the company line, but how’s it any different, really? We all look out for each other. Blood and bone. Whether you and Raptor bury your feelings for each other or not.”
She had no answer for that. “What does Peregrine think about it?”
He squinted at her. “If Per thought she had a shot at Raptor, she’d damn near throw you out an airlock. Since she knows she doesn’t, then yeah. Pretty much the same as what I think.”
Fallon laughed again, relieved.
The food arrived and they dug in while enjoying their drinks. When her dessert finally was set in front of her, Fallon gazed at it in amazement. The thing was a good thirty centimeters high.
“Guess you won’t mind if I have a bite after all.” Hawk’s fork began a trajectory toward her plate.
“Back off, lumberjack. Get your own.”
“You’re kidding. You can’t eat that whole thing on top of what you’ve already had.” He looked from her to the dessert and back again, as if calculating which one would win in a fight.
“Bet me.”
“You’re on. Loser has to moon the Briveen restaurant.”
“No. Those poor people are eating mandren. They don’t need to be forced to look at your hairy ass, too. Besides, I work here. Try again,” she ordered.
“They’d be lucky to see my ass,” he grumbled. “Not that I’m going to lose. But fine. Loser has to go to that trader’s shop and buy the worst thing the winner can find, then present it to Captain Nevitt as a gift.”
She laughed long and loud. “It’s a bet.”
In the end, she ate the dessert, no one had to see Hawk’s ass, and she’d get a good laugh at some future date.
It was a good night.
When Fallon woke, there was a face centimeters from hers. Since she had gone to bed alone, she immediately tried to punch it.
Raptor caught her fist. “Easy, Chief.”
“You seriously have to stop sneaking into my room.”
“But it’s fun.” He flopped back onto the bed and tried to snuggle up to her, but she was already sitting up and hitting the light panel.
“For you.”
“That’s why I do it. Besides, the Ghost has to keep his skills shiny, right?” When she glared at him, he added, “Fine. I just wanted to see you for a few minutes, privately, before we left. Once we have Colb, shit is going to come at us fast and hard. I wanted a chance to exist in the same space together before all that happens.”
That was actually kind of sweet, but she wasn’t sure how she felt about sweetness from Raptor. It was…different.
They stared at each other.
“So this is weird.” His eyes crinkled at the corners, but she saw uncharacteristic uncertainty in him.
“Very.” She smoothed nonexistent wrinkles out of the blanket.
He bumped her shoulder gently with his fist. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah?”
“Sure.” His humor was back full force. “Assuming we don’t die in the coming days. But then, if we do die, we don’t have to figure it out. So, you know. Silver linings.”
She snorted and got up, headed for the necessary. “Thanks for the pep talk.”
“Anytime, Chief.”
She paused. “You seem to have switched to calling me that rather than Tempest. I noticed the others have too.”
“Have I?”
“Yes,” she affirmed.
“I guess I like it better. It fits you.”
“I think so too.”
She stepped toward the necessary, but paused again. “Do you need to shower?” She lifted a provocative eyebrow.
He was on his feet immediately. “Yes.”
The awkwardness between them disappeared. This was the part they did well.
It was go time. Fallon sat in the pilot’s chair of the Nefarious, pointed toward Zerellus and glad to be alive. The thrill of flight and the mission ahead made her feel like a supernova. She’d been waiting so long for this. The first real step in taking over Blackout.
“She’s got that look again.” Next to her, Hawk wore a long-suffering expression.
“What look?” Fallon demanded.
“Like you’re going to eat planets and shoot laserbeams out of your eyeballs.” He added, “Freaks me out.”
She grinned at him. The idea of freaking out that mountain of a man was laughable.
“What freaks you out?” Ross stepped onto the bridge.
“Spiders. Soap. Very small rocks.” She pinched her index finger and thumb together.
“Well, who isn’t afraid of spiders?” Ross stood between her and Hawk.
She smiled. Ross fit in well with her team. He seemed much more relaxed now. Maybe he appreciated the chance to get the job done as much as she did.
“What can we do for you?” she asked. She’d expected him to be in the ship’s mess hall, playing card games with Raptor and Peregrine.
“Thought I’d take a shift up here. No need for you to be glued to the bridge. It’ll take us almost two days to get there.”
“That’s thoughtful. I’ll pull up a shift schedule. You can start the next shift in two hours, but I’m fine for now. Glad for the chance to fly, actually.”
“Gotcha. I guess I’ll go take a nap so I can be fresh for my shift.”
“You’re not too keyed up to sleep?” Fallon was, at the moment.
Ross grinned, reminding her of the roguish instructor she’d once known. “It’s the benefit of age. I’ve had a lot of experience taking things one step at a time.”
