by Zen DiPietro
“What was the work?”
He shrugged. “Delivering a package. I didn’t ask what it was. But he told me that I’d be able to find Hawk here.”
Arcy and Hawk had a strong partnership. Either Arcy had screwed Hawk over to benefit himself, or he had decided that Lim was trustworthy. Since Lim seemed to have little to offer, she was betting that Arcy had vetted him and determined him to be legit. Which was interesting.
When she didn’t respond right away, Lim asked, “Is he here?”
“What if he isn’t?”
“I’ll go find Arcy and shake him down for why he lied.”
Fallon couldn’t fault that plan. She’d do the same thing. “And if he is here?”
“I need to see him. Right away.”
“Why?”
Lim’s green eyes glowed with intensity. “I’m hoping he can tell me who I am.”
Fallon dismissed her lieutenants and took Lim to her office to wait for Hawk. When he arrived, she could practically smell his suspicion.
Lim frowned at Fallon’s hulk of a partner. “You’re Hawk?”
“Yeah. Who are you?”
Lim ignored the question. “How do I know you’re the guy I’m looking for?”
Hawk pushed back into the couch cushion and rubbed his jaw. “Hell if I know. How am I supposed to prove it when neither of us knows the other?”
Lim’s shoulders slumped. “I guess I should have asked Arcy for some way to know for sure.”
Hawk’s eyes narrowed. “Arcy? Pale little guy? About a meter and a half?”
“No. Dark as night, and almost as tall as you, though his frame is smaller. Likes to swear in some language that seems to involve a lot of spitting.”
“Sartrevian,” Hawk answered. “Very difficult language. I never did manage to learn much of it. Shtiptu mokovol flistivtu.”
He did appear to spit a couple times in the process of speaking.
“That’s it!” Lim’s words vibrated with excitement. “That’s what he said when he dropped a pipe wrench on his foot.” He beamed. “You are Hawk.” He relaxed back into the couch with a look of contentment, as if now that he’d found Hawk, his work was done.
“So what is it you want from me?” Hawk asked.
Lim glanced at Fallon and back to Hawk.
“You can trust her with anything you tell me,” Hawk said. “She’s my partner. One of ’em, anyway.”
“There are more of you?” Lim looked pleased, as if more people increased his odds somehow.
“And some associates too. We’re growing.” Hawk smirked. “We’ve had to recruit, so to speak.”
Lim chewed his lip. “I don’t actually know why I was supposed to find you. The woman just told me that you’d make everything stop.”
“Make what stop?” Hawk asked.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you know?” By this point, Hawk seemed more intrigued than annoyed.
“Not much, to tell the truth. I woke up in a jail cell. I didn’t know where or who I was. I was taken to this guy called Admiral, who told me to assemble a plasma converter.”
Hawk nodded, encouraging Lim to continue.
“I did it, but not as well as he wanted. He ordered my guards to take me to get some food. They fed me well, treated me okay. But I kept seeing pity when they looked at me, and it wasn’t hard to figure out that I was doomed. And I was remembering these little bits. A security code, the face of a woman, just little flashes without any context. Then the guards said it was time for me to see the doctor, and I got the feeling it was the last thing I’d ever do. So I grabbed a stinger from one, knocked them out, and ran.”
He looked from Hawk to Fallon.
“What happened?” Hawk asked.
He licked his lips. “Those little flashes were all I remembered, but they got me to a docking bay. I hadn’t even known I was on a station. I got stuck, unable to get to the shuttle, but the woman from my memory showed up and helped me. She wouldn’t come with me though. She said she had to help the next one, that it was all her fault. Then she said, ‘Find Hawk. He’ll make it all stop.’”
Fallon raised an eyebrow at Hawk, but he only shrugged. “What did she look like?” he asked.
“Bennite. Pretty. No Bennite accent, though. Medium height. Right-handed.”
Fallon and Hawk exchanged another look.
“Ugh, stop with the looks!” Lim burst out. “Just say what you’re thinking. Does any of this make sense to you?”
“Some of it sounds familiar,” Fallon said slowly. “What can you tell me other than that experience? Anything from before.”
“Nothing. I don’t remember a thing before that day. Everything else is what I’ve experienced in the past eighteen months or so. Including learning how to pilot the shuttle. If it hadn’t had autopilot when I escaped, I’d have been dead.”
“You think they were going to kill you?” Hawk asked.
“Yeah.” Lim looked to some far-off point in the room. “I definitely had that feeling, and I assume it was why the woman wanted me to escape.”
Fallon moved closer to the couch Lim sat on. “So you haven’t recovered any memories in the past year? No dreams that felt like they could be memories? No additional flashes of knowledge?”
For each question, he shook his head. If what had happened to him was related to what had happened to her, they’d had very different experiences.
“Here’s my problem,” she said. “I’m not going to bullshit you. You’re in serious trouble. I don’t know if your kind of trouble is our kind of trouble, but whoever sent you to Hawk was right—he and the rest of our team are trying to fix some things, and we’ll look out for you. Provided you don’t give us a reason not to.”
Lim frowned. “I won’t. So long as you are the good guys.”
Fallon stifled a sigh. “Unfortunately, ‘good guy’ and ‘bad guy’ don’t seem to mean as much as they used to.” She stood. “Okay. So I’ll assign you quarters. You’ll be staying with Hawk. Hawk, you’ll be moving to the next suite over, and Raptor and Ross will gain a whole lot of space.”
He smirked at her. “Not all of us can fit into a suitcase.”
She flashed him a grin. Lim seemed puzzled by their interaction. “You’ll get used to it,” she promised. “If you’re around long enough.”
Lim’s mouth tightened. “I will be. If I don’t belong here, I don’t belong anywhere.”
Hawk patted his shoulder on their way out. “Hold that thought, young’un. All of us might just belong nowhere.”
On that cryptic note, Fallon locked up her office and followed Hawk and their new hope.
“So Hawk’s over there, babysitting the guy?” Peregrine seemed less than impressed.
“Pretty much,” admitted Fallon. “I wanted a chance to meet as a team before deciding what to do with him. And I didn’t want to leave Lim on his own, even if he is only next door.” She rested her hand on the arm of the couch in Raptor and Ross’s quarters.
“Distrust, or concern for him?” Hesta asked.
“More the first. A little of the second.” Fallon smoothed her hand over the leg of her uniform pants.
Ross and Raptor remained silent.
“Is there anything I can help out with?” asked Arin.
“Possibly. What do you all think about this?” Fallon looked from one face to the next.
“I think it doesn’t much matter what we think,” Hesta said. “You’re the one who’s been through what he seems to have been through. That makes you the only person who can decide if he’s legit or not.”
“Not exactly,” Fallon said. “I think Brak and Jerin could help us out with that. A physical exam could tell us a lot.”
“Perhaps,” Hesta agreed. “But if it doesn’t, it still comes down to you.”
“One of these days, I’m going to need a vacation,” Fallon mused.
“What would you do on vacation?” Ross asked.
Fallon wasn’t sure, but Peregrine ans
wered before she could. “Probably go diving off of cliffs or rock climbing up a ridiculously hard mountain face. Something risky and difficult and not at all relaxing.”
Well. She wasn’t exactly wrong, Fallon supposed. “So I’ll arrange that physical exam, then proceed from there. Agreed?”
“And you’ll keep him under surveillance? I don’t need some piece of shit wandering around my station like we had with Colb.” Hesta scowled.
Fallon took a moment to enjoy the shocked look on Arin’s face. He hadn’t encountered this side of the captain yet. “Of course.” Fallon wouldn’t risk being wrong about Lim.
“Fine,” Hesta agreed. “And since we’re on that general subject, I want to bring up something else. Are you sure we can trust Wren? I’m still wary of ignoring the fact that she cut holes in my station and released a prisoner.”
All eyes shot to Fallon. “I’m glad you brought it up. You’re welcome to question her yourself until you’re satisfied. But I’m convinced she thought she was working for the good of the PAC. Thing is, she didn’t have our training. She proved to be a remarkably resourceful ally, but trusted the wrong guy. So did we, for a minute or two. And if we got it wrong, I don’t think we can blame her for getting it wrong.”
Nevitt looked undecided, but said nothing.
“Like I said. Talk to her yourself.”
Peregrine spoke up. “If she’s actually on our side, and is a good asset, should we consider bringing her in? Training her?”
Fallon had thought about that too. “She could do well at certain aspects of intelligence work, as an analyst. Maybe even some contained field work related to mechanics. But she’s not the kind of person who could do what we do and be able to live with herself.”
Fallon had known her team would trust her judgment. Nevitt and Arin were a different matter.
“I believe what you’re saying about her,” Nevitt said. “But I think I’ll feel better about it if I talk to Wren. Nothing too harrowing, just a few questions.”
Fallon nodded. Arin looked from his captain to his chief, clearly conflicted. No doubt he was also experiencing surprise and uncertainty, because of his friendship with Wren.
“Good. I want to be sure we’re all in agreement.” When no one else spoke, she said, “Okay. If there’s nothing else, we can adjourn for now. Bring anything you’re suspicious or concerned about to me. Even if it seems like nothing.”
She glanced around the room and her gaze tangled with Raptor’s. He still hadn’t spoken to her, and it wasn’t a situation she could allow to continue. “Raptor, could you stay, please? I need to discuss something with you.”
He had little choice but to remain, or else look like an ass to the others. Refusing to remain in his own quarters to talk to her would have been awfully strange. Ross followed the others out, which saved Fallon from needing to move to Raptor’s bedroom to talk to him.
“What do you want?” Raptor demanded as soon as the doors closed, leaving them alone.
“To apologize. I’m so sorry, Raptor.”
His expression was guarded, but he sat back down, no longer inching toward the door. “Can’t say I’m shocked that you shut me out again.”
“Disappointed. I know.” She closed her eyes, trying to figure out how to explain. “Okay, here’s the thing. My brain has always been unusual, even before Blackout messed with it. As a kid, I just had a lot of frustration. Anger, even. My father teaching me to fight was the best thing that ever happened to me. I learned to be disciplined. I learned that getting hurt doesn’t really matter. I could take a hit and I’d heal. And while I was never proud of getting top marks in my classes because it was so easy, I had to earn my combat skills.”
She paused, struggling to put her past into words. “I was proud when I mastered skills and won competitions. I was proud when I got recruited into the academy. I learned that the higher the stakes, the more I could feel. I was like a foot that had been asleep, suddenly burning with sensation. When I got to the academy, I felt truly alive in a way I’d never felt. And then I met you.” She smiled, thinking of his younger self. “You weren’t jealous of my successes. You were more like me than anyone I’d ever met, but you were better—easygoing and fun. You were the first person to make me really feel without having to put my life on the line.”
She let out a long breath and risked a peek at Raptor. His coolness had faded, and he seemed interested in what she was saying.
She moved next to him. “I can’t describe how deeply I felt about you. When you suggested we forget about going into Blackout, I wanted to say yes. But I couldn’t imagine having a normal life. Working the day shift, then going to the theater in the evenings. Sleeping in on the weekends. I was afraid I’d go numb again without Blackout. That I wouldn’t feel the big things anymore, including you. So I said no.”
The set of his shoulders had eased. “Why didn’t you tell me that back then?”
“I was too young to be able to put it into words. And would it have even made sense to you? I didn’t want to end things with you. I just didn’t see any alternative.”
“So why did you ice me out a few days ago?” His voice held no accusation.
“I needed a little distance to make sure I could be objective. I’d just realized that Wren had been working for Colb. I was afraid my personal relationships were affecting my judgment.” She rubbed her hand over her eyes. “For the first time, I really wanted to go back to being numb. I didn’t want my feelings for you to blind me.”
He sat looking at her for a long minute. “I get why you did what you did when we were young. But you can’t just put me in a box now. If you need some space, just tell me. I thought you were ending it with me.”
“You seem to have a complex about that.” She struggled to hide a smile.
“For good reason! I always suspected you had some weird baggage. I want to learn more about that, but for now you just need to figure your shit out.”
She let her smile unfurl. “You’re always right.”
“Of course I am. I landed in Avian Unit with you so that I could equal out your dumbassness.”
“That’s not a word.”
“It is now.”
She was glad to see the warmth return to his face, and as always, he pulled her in like gravity. “So.”
“So figure yourself out, dumbass.” He snorted in disdain. “When you do, you know where I am. Just be up front with me about what you need. Whatever it is, we’ll make it work.” He leaned forward, looking at her closely. “You’re back with Wren now, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. Is that a problem?”
He pursed his lips thoughtfully. “No. It’s just funny how she seems to be in control of all your disarm codes. She’s the one who always pulls you back from trying to be alone.”
“There’s just something about her. I can’t explain it.”
“Doesn’t matter. She makes you happy.” He shrugged.
“So do you, in a completely different way.” She ran her hand over her hair. “She said humans are silly for thinking we have to pick one kind of love and refuse all others.”
“I’ve always thought Sarkavians were wise. Maybe all those sandy beaches encourage relaxation and deep thought.”
She smiled. “They have some great high-speed boating and other water sports too. You and I would have some fun there.”
“A vacation is pretty wishful thinking.”
“Why not wish? What’s your wish for when all this is done?”
“I really don’t know. I’ll have to give it some thought.”
She hoped his wishes involved her. “I think Lim is going to be what we need to break everything wide open.”
“You’re convinced he’s for real?”
“Completely. His reactions and behavior remind me of myself after I lost my memory. It’s too familiar to be a fake. And his story adds up. That would mean he was experimented on six months before I came to Dragonfire.”
“Do you think Colb was plann
ing that far ahead to try to implant you?”
She’d wondered the same thing. “I don’t know. I’m ready to find out though, and I think Lim is going to help us.”
“I hope so.”
A silence fell between them. Fallon stood. “I’ll get going. Ross will probably be back soon.”
“Okay.” He walked her to the exit. The doors swooshed open. “Good luck sorting out all the crap in your head.”
She had to smile at his cheerful tone. “Thanks. I guess I’ll need it. I’m really sorry about before. I never said I wasn’t broken.”
“Someday I’ll tell you about my background and we can compare brokenness.” He dropped a grandfatherly kiss on the top of her head. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
8
“I can’t say I’m excited about letting people poke around at my brain.” Lim fidgeted on the couch in the quarters he shared with Hawk.
Fallon sympathized with him. “Brak and Jerin poked around in my brain too. I ended up far better off for it. But they only want to get images and see what’s going on in there. That’s it. If it makes you feel better, I’ll stay with you during the procedure.”
“Yeah. That’d be good.” He smiled sheepishly. “I don’t trust strangers, so I’d feel better knowing you were looking out for me. I mean, I know we just met, but…”
“But at least I’m a familiar face.” She didn’t blame him for being nervous. Living in a galaxy of nothing but strangers could make a person paranoid. She knew that better than anyone.
“Okay. I don’t want to rush you, but the Onari is going to deploy tomorrow to deal with a plague on a mining planet. There’s no telling how long they’ll be gone. I’d like them to get a look at you before they go. Are you game?”
“Yeah. Sure.” He gave her a watery smile. “It’s just a look, right?”
“Yes. I promise. You’ll be awake the whole time, and they’ll tell you exactly what they’re doing. You’ll like them.”
“I hope so.”
“I have no doubts.” She waited for him to voice any concerns, but he didn’t. “I’ll be back in an hour, and I’ll walk you down to the infirmary.”
