He approached the steel door and grabbed the handle. The cold metal numbed his fingers. As he was about to open it he recalled a similar circumstance back home, when he met up with James Conroy just after the whole mess started. He remembered the bodies stacked on the floor and the mist that rose around them. He heard General Stack’s words, distant and haunting. The unfortunate ones. It had been more than four months since that day and yet it seemed like much longer.
Don’t do it, his brain scolded. You open that door, and you let everything out. Everything. There’s nothing in there. Just let it be, already.
Josh nodded and pressed his ear to the door just in case. He heard not a sound. Satisfied, he pried himself away and wandered back to the spot where Kyra lay, curled into a ball. It’s all empty, he thought. The world is dead. It’s only us now.
As if answering this thought a distant howl pierced the stillness. It was followed by another, and then another. Soon a far-away chorus emerged. Josh grinned. He knew that particular racket well, growing up around farms as he did.
Kyra rustled and sat up on her elbow. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. “What is that?” she mumbled.
Josh brushed the hair from her face and grabbed her hand. “Nothing to worry about, Kye. Just coyotes. Or maybe timberwolves.”
“Oh,” she said, and laid her head back down.
Josh sank in beside her and listened to the song of the wild dogs. I guess not everything die, after all, he thought.
* * *
The next morning, amid cracking joints and irritated groans, they all decided the previous evening would be the last one spent in the cold, uncomfortable storeroom.
“There’s gotta be a town somewhere close by,” Kyra said. “I’m tired of having a stiff back. I’m pregnant, for Chrissakes! Let’s see if we can’t drum up some real beds for a change. It’s not like there’ll be anyone using them. I hope.”
Colin nudged her. “But if there is,” he joked, “we can sell you for room and board. What say you? Good idea?”
Kyra rolled her eyes. The smile on her lips betrayed her annoyance, however. “Funny boy,” she mumbled.
After a short walk down a snow-covered main road lined with shops they happened upon a side street. There were houses – rows of snow-covered, solid, safe houses. Shadows fell over them as crows cawed overhead, flying in a cloud of black feathers. The group halted and stared up. Colin felt disbelief wash over him. The birds were the first non-infected living things he’d seen since they left Dover.
“Damn,” he whispered. “Would you look at that…”
Josh stepped up beside him. “Yup. Our situation might be improving.”
“You don’t look surprised,” said Colin when he noticed his friend’s nonchalant expression.
“Nope. Heard coyotes last night. Sounded like lots of ‘em.”
“What’s it mean?”
“Winter’s almost over,” replied Josh. “Time for the world to wake up.”
In time everyone took their eyes away from the mass of birds and continued down the road. Colin felt an air of expectation rouse in his mates. Even the children seemed hopeful. There were no sniffles or sobs or wails for mommy. It was complete silence from the humans, which stood in stark contrast to the squawking of the birds.
The first thing he noticed when they drew near to one of the houses was its cleanliness. The white siding, still layered with ice, glimmered in the bright late-morning sun, not a burn mark or hole to be seen. The further down the lane they went, this theme repeated itself. The occasional missing shutter and caved-in roof from the weight of the snow and ice were the only signs of damage. Only one of the still-standing houses had so much as a broken window – which had something to do with the fallen tree whose top poked inside the pane – and a creepy aura of familiarity crept across Colin’s spine. It looked like a damned Twilight Zone episode. He half figured they’d enter one of the homes and find a family straight out of the fifties locked away inside.
Luckily there was nothing of the sort. The houses they explored were empty and it looked as if folks had left in a hurry, too. Clothes were still in the closets, dining tables were still set, and cupboards were still packed to the brim.
Hope they had everything they needed when they got where they were going, Colin thought.
They picked two of the homes, one on either side of the road, and decided to set things up for the afternoon. After hurling their belongings inside they gathered at the largest house – the one Luanda, Yvette, Mary, and Alice were going to share with Emily – and ate lunch. When that was finished they divvied up the children and parted ways again. Colin, Jessica, Josh, and Kyra brought Andy, Francis, Meghan Stoddard, and little Zachary to their chosen home.
Colin had suggested it because it reminded him of home. It was a two-story colonial with bright yellow siding. The shrubs on the side of the front porch had a comforting, everyday quality. He appreciated their simplicity and shape. Snow nestled between the branches, making them seem fuller than they really were. He turned to Jessica, who was busy watching her son wobble into the house with Kyra behind him for support.
“It’s beautiful here,” he whispered.
She removed her glove and placed her bare hand in his. “It is.”
“You wanna take a walk?”
“Well…”
“Go for it, Loverboy!” came a shout from inside. Josh stood in the bay window, giving them a thumbs-up. Colin laughed at his friend’s corniness. So did Jessica.
They sauntered hand-in-hand to the rear of the house. The yard was huge and covered in white. The only dark shades to be seen were the silhouettes of the birds. There was a swing set back there, beside a storage shed. It faced a sizeable man-made koi pond.
Colin sat down on one of the swings and Jessica joined him. They sat there for a long while in silence, watching the sun as it slowly progressed across a cloudless sky. Colin closed his eyes.
“You know,” he said, “I didn’t realize it before, but I’m tired as hell.”
“Me, too,” replied Jessica.
“And dirty. Shit, it’s been forever since we’ve taken a shower.”
“I thought you liked that I smell like old pizza?”
He giggled. “Real funny. But seriously, wouldn’t it be nice to be clean for once? I’m sure I’d love the way you smelled then.”
Jessica pointed at the pond. “Well, there’s water right there. Jump on in.”
“You’re a fucking comedian,” he laughed, and squeezed her hand.
“Learned from the best.”
A shower, a shower, his mind sang. All the while he stared at the glossy, iced-over surface of the water. It would be so easy to break through and jump in but he’d surely pay for it later. He didn’t fancy hypothermia in the slightest. He then glanced to his right, where the storage shed lingered like a slumping wooden ogre. An idea came to him. He jumped up without a word and ran to it. The hinges creaked when he slid open the door.
The shed was packed with junk. He rummaged through, tossing useless items aside. Finally he found what he was looking for, a stack of six bulky aluminum buckets. He snatched them with his bare hands and carried them out.
“What’re you up to?” Jessica asked.
“Just…grab…a shovel,” gasped Colin as he struggled to keep the buckets upright. When he reached the edge of the pond he dropped his load and arranged them all, side-by-side. The buckets were indeed ample, probably four or five gallons each. The six of them should do the trick.
Jessica arrived with a garden hoe. “Sorry, this was all I could find,” she said.
“Good enough,” he replied, snatching the hoe from her. He proceeded to hack away at the ice on top of the pond. It broke away with relative ease. When only chunks remained he snatched up a pail and dunked it in, filling it. Then he did the same with a second one. When that one was filled, as well, he picked them up and glanced at Jessica. She appeared confused but eager.
“You get a bucket, too,” h
e said, grinning as wide as he could. “I hope those douche bags started a fire already.”
Colin sat before the fireplace and watched the flames reflect off the sides of the six buckets. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there but it seemed like forever. Kyra placed a hand on the top of his head.
“A watched pot never boils,” she said.
“I know, I know,” he mumbled back.
Josh was on the floor behind him, playing a hand of poker with Andy and Francis. “I know what you’re doing,” he said.
“That so?”
“Yup.”
“What do you think?”
He craned his neck to see Josh beam like a child at a birthday party. “I think you’re fu…freaking brilliant,” Josh replied.
“I know,” said Colin. “And don’t you forget it.”
More time passed. Jessica had joined them in the living room by then. She rocked Zachary to sleep in her arms. Realizing how long it usually took the toddler to go down for the night, Colin’s patience broke. He glanced out the window, saw the sun dip low on the horizon, and then jumped up. He plunged a hand into one of the buckets. It was warm but not hot.
“Good enough for me,” he said.
Two at a time he ran the buckets up the stairs and dumped them in the bathtub. When all were empty he screamed, “Jess, come here!” and proceeded to strip off his greasy, dirty clothes. He plunged in wearing only his underwear. The water definitely wasn’t warm and a startled scream escaped his throat. Soon, however, his body adjusted to the temperature. He timidly leaned back until his chest – rail thin to the point of malnourishment – dipped below the surface. He closed his eyes, wiggled his legs, and hummed.
Jessica came into the room soon after. She bent her head forward and stared at him. “You always take a bath in your undies?” she asked.
Self-consciously Colin covered his chest with his arms. He knew how emaciated he looked and kicked himself for not thinking before inviting her up. A bit presumptuous, aren’t we? he thought.
But Jessica just stood there, smiling, not backing away. He finally got up the gall to say, “You wanna come in with me?”
Jessica stepped closer to the tub. She knelt down, grabbed a dusty bottle of shampoo from the ridge, squirted a dollop in her hand, and lathered it into his filthy hair. He sat there and watched her, feeling like a child.
This is how Zachary feels, passed through his mind. He quickly squashed the line of thinking – and the rush of blood to his abdomen – before it got him in trouble.
“I think I’ll pass this time,” said Jessica. “It’s not that I don’t like you. I do. But let’s go slow with this. It doesn’t seem… natural… right now.”
“Uh, okay,” he replied, defeated.
“Oh, don’t get that tone with me. Not now doesn’t mean never.” She glanced at him with a mischievous grin and splashed water in his face. “Just think – there’s a full liquor cabinet downstairs. Maybe if you get me drunk enough my scruples won’t be so high.”
The possibility of both liquor and getting Jessica naked caused his mouth to hang open. In response to this she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. They kissed long and deep and Colin felt pride, as well as exhilaration, fill his being.
It was the first time Jessica had initiated a kiss. He hoped it wouldn’t be the last.
* * *
Josh stood on the front porch, lit a cigarette, and took a deep drag. The smoke filled his lungs and he doubled over coughing. With a disgusted grunt he tossed the newly lit butt over the railing. It had been a long time since he’d had so much as a puff, and he immediately scolded himself for snatching a carton from the grocery store. I promised myself I’d stop smoking, he thought. Best not pick back up the bad habits, especially with a child on the way.
With this contemplation he turned away from the inky black sky and peered through the window. Kyra sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep, with Meghan Stoddard nestled in her arms. Andy and Francis reclined close to the fireplace, propped up on their elbows and chatting. Zachary slumped on the recliner, eyes closed, with the action figure that had accompanied him every step of the journey hanging from the toddler’s drooling mouth.
It was Jessica and Colin who captured his attention, however. They sat across from each other in dining area at the rear of the living room. They took turns flinging coins back and forth across the table. When one made the coin into the glass the other downed a shot of bourbon. When one missed, they both did.
The two of them were wildly cackling, though in a muffled way. The smiles on their faces were wide, seemingly without care for anything but each other. Josh watched Colin blush when Jessica stood and whispered something in his ear. She wore black leggings and a sweater she’d found in the upstairs closet. Though she was a bit on the thin side now, he couldn’t deny the sexiness in the curve of her body and swing of her hips. Neither could Colin, it seemed. As she walked away his friend’s eyes were glued to her posterior, a stupid grin plastered across his face.
A moment of jealousy struck up in Josh. Watching Jessica reminded him of Marcy and it broke his heart. He couldn’t understand it. He let his eyes wander back to Kyra. She rolled over, pulling Meghan with her. Things had happened so fast. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he didn’t know about the woman carrying his child. Until a few months ago she’d been nothing but a chick he sometimes fantasized about. Now she was his supposed life-mate. What, exactly, caused that change?
He grunted, tore himself away from the window, and sat down on the top step. He pulled the cigarette pack from his pocket, took out another stick, stuck it between his lips, and flicked his lighter.
To hell with promises, he thought, and took a drag.
The howling of the coyotes started up an hour into his pity party. He leaned back and closed his eyes, listening to their strangely hypnotic, primordial song. So lost in it was he that he didn’t notice anyone approaching until someone tapped him on the shoulder.
“Whoa!” he exclaimed, swiping the hand away.
Jessica backed up, her hands raised. “Hold it there, mister. I mean you no harm.”
Josh chuckled and stood up. “Shit, Jess, you scared me.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to.”
“No problem.” He cocked his head to the side and stared at her. “Hey, what’re you doing out here, anyway? Figured you and Colin’d be getting groiny right about now.”
She laughed and flicked a stray hair from her face. “Oh, he’s passed out in the bathroom.”
His eyes widened. “You out drank him? No shit.”
“No,” she replied with a shake of the head. “I kept spitting my sips back into the glass. I can’t hold my liquor.”
“Clever.”
“Don’t you know it.”
Josh dragged out a pair of folding chairs from the side foyer and set them up on the deck. The two of them sat there in silence for a while, bundled up against the cold, staring into the black and listening to the coyotes howl.
Finally Josh tilted his head in her direction and said, “Do you love him?”
“Huh?” she replied.
“Do you love him. Do you really love him.”
She shrugged. “I like him a lot.”
“But not love.”
“Shoot, Josh, I don’t know.” There was no irritation in her tone, only reflection. “It’s been so long since I’ve felt anything like that. I honestly don’t think I’d know love if it bit me on the ass.”
“That’s depressing.”
“No, it’s not. It’s just the truth. How can I know what love is? And why does it even matter? I mean, we’re out here on our own, every day could be our last, and all I want is a little comfort. Colin’s giving that to me, and I’m giving it back. Is that such a bad thing?”
“Well, maybe not, but the guy loves the hell out of you. Trust me, I can tell. I’ve known him a long time.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve known you for a long time, t
oo,” she said. This time her voice reeked of sarcasm.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I see the way you are. I know what you’re up to.”
“Yeah? And what’s that?”
“You see me happy…you see Colin happy…and you can’t take it, because you don’t know how to be happy, yourself.”
Josh opened his mouth to retort but snapped it shut before a word came out. Anger started to boil up in him. He didn’t want to lose control.
“You know how I know this, Josh? I saw it before. Back in high school. With Marcy. Yeah, you were three years ahead of me, but you were still sort of a legend. The smart guy, the brooding guy. And you had a girl who really liked you, and you couldn’t take it.”
“You don’t know anything about it,” he shot back.
“Oh yeah I do. My parents were friends with Marcy’s. We had dinner over there all the time. She treated me like a little sister. She told me all about you.”
Josh kept his mouth shut.
“That’s right, Josh. You had her. She loved you. Needed you. But you couldn’t take it. It’s like you were scared of being happy. You left. Just walked away. She was devastated.”
“You don’t know what happened,” he muttered.
“Sure I do. You wanted to hang out with your friends. She cramped your style, so you took off. And I bet you’ve regretted it every day since then, huh?”
He slowly turned his eyes to her and he could feel the tears forming in them. “Why’re you doing this, Jess? You drunk? You want to hurt me?”
She shook her head. “No, that’s not the point. Not at all. I don’t want to hurt you, Josh, I want to help you.”
“How so?”
“By making sure you don’t make the same mistake twice.”
He gulped and stared at her.
“I know you think you don’t love Kyra,” she said. Her matter-of-fact tone frightened him. “I can tell just by the way you hold her, the way you talk to her. It was different at first. But then…everything changed. I don’t know what it was, but you have to get over it already. She’s a good woman. She needs you, Josh. You need to be there for her.”
Dead Of Winter (The Rift Book II) Page 23
