The Struggle

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  Her sharp gaze found mine as we neared the square, one-story building that housed some of the training rooms and several nursing stations.

  I looked away, focusing on the bronze-colored double doors ahead. “I fought him,” I said, pushing past the messy knot forming in the back of my throat. “I fought back and I . . . I didn’t win those fights.”

  “I get it.” Alex reached down and took my hand, squeezing it. “I get what you’re saying.”

  Wetness rushed my eyes and I blinked it away. “So I’m probably just overreacting.”

  Alex let go of my hand and reached for the door. “Maybe.” There was a pause. “But you’re a demigod and Seth’s an Apollyon—or was. I have no idea what that would make a kid, but it’s probably a very strong one.”

  I opened my mouth, but I had no words, because I hadn’t even begun to think about what kind of kid could be inside me—a kid that had a demigod and a god as a parent.

  “Or it could just be weird cycles? That’s possible. I mean, who hasn’t thought they were pregnant before?” She tried to sound reassuring, because I figured the panicked expression on my face was pretty obvious. “I thought I was pregnant once and it turned out I had two lesser gods living inside me.”

  I stared at her.

  “Not that I’m saying you have gods inside you, but you know, it could be anything. Anyway . . .” She opened the door. “Let’s find out.”

  In a daze, I followed Alex inside. I was too anxious to do much speaking as Alex found us a nurse and we were escorted into a small, minty-smelling room. There were no chairs in the room, only an examination table, and I didn’t want to sit on it since that seemed all too official.

  The nurse, a pure-blood dressed in pale blue scrubs, closed the door behind her. She was an older lady with what I thought were pretty amazing amethyst-colored eyes. Turning to us with a clipboard in hand, those odd eyes bounced nervously between Alex and me.

  I imagine she hadn’t been in the room with two demigods before.

  Her smile was full of uncertainty. “How can I help you two?”

  I started to look at Alex, but then I realized that I seriously needed to grow up and ask for the test. “I’m not a student here. I’m—”

  “I know who you are—who both of you are,” the nurse spoke up. “I’m sure everyone at the University is aware of who both of you are.”

  Having no idea if that was a good thing or not, I exhaled roughly. “I think I might be pregnant, so I was hoping I could take a test.”

  The nurse’s expression didn’t change one iota. “Have you had the symptoms of pregnancy?”

  I nodded. “I’m late and I’ve been . . . sick.” I didn’t feel like it was necessary to even bring the issue of the bands on my wrists into the equation. “I’ve had unprotected sex. Once,” I tacked on like that made a difference. “I really would like this to be private. I mean, the whole doctor-patient privilege thing still works, right?”

  Alex snickered. “Privacy at the Covenant? Not likely, but I have a feeling she’s not going to want to piss off Apollo’s daughter.”

  The skin around the nurse’s mouth tightened. “When I took the oath, I did so for everyone I treat. I am not—”

  “ . . . like other pure-bloods,” Alex finished for her. “Got it. So this conversation and its potential results won’t leave this office?”

  Damn girl, I thought.

  “Right.” The nurse put the clipboard down. “We can do a simple urine test and then go from there. How does that sound?”

  “Sounds good?” I said, glancing at Alex. She nodded.

  The nurse reached into a cabinet and pulled out a small plastic cup with a lid. She scribbled “Jane” across the piece of tape. “Ready?”

  I was showed where the nearest bathroom was, and I did the whole pee in the cup thing. That cup of potential doom was placed in a little window and then I went back to the windowless room where Alex was waiting.

  Leaning against the wall, I smacked my hands over my face. It sort of hit me right then that this was really happening. There was a good chance I was pregnant and I was going to figure out what the hell that meant other than being pregnant. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  “Seth . . . doesn’t know, does he?” Alex asked.

  “No,” I said from behind my hands. “It wasn’t something I really thought about until recently and I didn’t want to get him . . . worried?” I didn’t know how Seth would react. I didn’t know how I would react if that test came back positive. “I don’t know what he’d do or even think. It’s not exactly something we’ve talked about.”

  Alex wrapped her fingers around my arms and pulled my hands from my face. “Honest? He’s probably going to be as shocked as you, but Seth loves you, Josie. He really does, and that is something amazing.”

  My heart did a little jump. “I know.”

  She gave a little shake of her head. “I don’t know if you really do.” Dropping her hands, she drew in a deep breath. “I never believed that Seth was capable of loving anyone more than he loved himself, but he does with you. And because of that, you shouldn’t be afraid of telling him if that test comes back positive.”

  I tipped my head back against the wall. “Even if he’s a hundred percent okay with this, how can we do this? There is so much screwed up stuff going on right now, and I . . . I just don’t know.”

  “You’ll figure something out. Trust me,” she said. “You will, because you’ll have to.”

  She was right, because we would have to figure it out. I lowered my chin. “If this comes back positive, please don’t tell anyone. I’m going to tell Seth, but I don’t want this getting around.”

  “Of course not,” she replied. “Obviously I’ll keep my mouth shut, since I just threatened a pure-blood if she ran her mouth.”

  I laughed nervously, but every single muscle in my body locked up as the door opened and the nurse walked in. I searched her expression for any hint, but it was impressively blank. Still, my heart was pounding like I’d run up several flights of steps.

  The nurse, whose name I realized I’d never asked for, propped her hip against the counter and loosely folded her arms. “When we do urine tests, we usually repeat them more than once if we get a certain result to ensure accuracy, so we repeated the tests.”

  “Okay,” I whispered as blood began to roar in my ears.

  “It’s positive,” the nurse said. “You’re pregnant.”

  Chapter 29

  Seth

  Standing before the shades, I quickly counted them. There was definitely more than twenty. More like thirty. A few of them looked like they’d played chicken with a car and lost, their flesh torn and patchy in some areas. Shades didn’t want to let go of their mortal bodies. Even when the mortal had died, they rode the flesh until nothing was left.

  It smelled like the River Styx had thrown up in here, and then a few hellhounds had come in and taken a dump. In the back, against a low wall that led to a bare kitchen, were the tied-up mortals.

  They didn’t look very alive.

  I clapped my hands together.

  Heads jerked up. Eyes of all different shapes and colors widened.

  “Hey,” I said, smiling. “My name is Seth. I have a few questions.”

  Dark shadows leaked through the whites of their eyes like ink into water. A low hissing sound radiated from all corners of the room, like the air being let out of several balloons. They rose at once.

  “I’m glad to see you guys are going to be so helpful.”

  A blonde that appeared to have run face-first into a blender charged me. Reaching down, I unhooked one of my daggers. I didn’t have to do much. Just lifted the blade and stepped to the side.

  She impaled herself.

  A second later, black smoke poured out of her gaping mouth, shooting into the air. It billowed across the ceiling, seeking a way out.

  Lifting my hand, I shoved a couch across the room. It tipped up on one side, blocking the door
. Smiling, I turned as another shade barreled down on me. This one was a little fresher, but it too ended up on the floor.

  Glass shattered behind me. A second later, Aiden landed in a crouch. Torin hit the floor in a controlled roll. Unfortunately, that controlled roll went right through some splatter. Sucked for him.

  Aiden popped up and was immediately swarmed by the shades rocking the mortal bodies. They went after him like daimons jonesing for aether. As Torin rose, wiping off the blood and other stuff, I was sort of offended that the shades didn’t want to play with me anymore.

  A shade went flying back as Aiden delivered a brutal punch that might have—gods’ bless his pure soul—killed the mortal if it wasn’t already dead.

  “Ah, I think you’ve got it covered.” Raising my hand, I pushed Torin back toward the wall, away from one of the free-roaming shades. “And you,” I said. “You really shouldn’t have followed Aiden.”

  Dipping down, Aiden took out the legs of one of the shades. He lurched up and looked over his shoulder, dark brows slamming together. “Seriously?”

  I grinned, crossing my arms over my chest as I stayed back from the melee. “Wouldn’t want you to get out of practice.” When Aiden cursed and whipped back around, I laughed. “Hey, I’m just looking out for your best interests.”

  Torin attempted to peel himself out of the corner I’d put him in, but I shook my head. “You wouldn’t last long with these bastards. Sorry. You’re going to just have to watch.” I paused. “And remember that secret you promised to keep.”

  He opened his mouth, but I pivoted and grabbed the closest shade. Spinning it around, I shoved the blade deep into its chest. The shade escaped, along with all the ones Aiden was taking down. They were crawling across the ceiling, aiming for the broken glass.

  Then, a thought occurred to me. I’d seen a furie grab hold of one before. She actually ate the fucking thing. I was not trying that, but I was a god now, so I wondered if a hit of akasha might take the bastards out.

  Tapping into the power, I lifted my arm. Whitish-amber light powered down my bicep and erupted out of my palm. The bolt smacked into the mass of shades flowing through the broken window. Akasha washed over the mass, and an eerie howl filled the room. The group of shades warped and rippled as the shadows expanded and then ruptured, spraying the windows with inky blotches.

  “Huh.” I laughed. “Well then.”

  “We need one alive,” Aiden reminded me. “Try to remember that.”

  Stepping to the side, I grabbed the blond closest to me. He threw his head back and opened his mouth. Nothing came out. He snapped his jaw shut and glanced down at the hand I had wrapped around his throat.

  The shade couldn’t escape.

  “What do you know? Looks like you’re stuck in the body now.” I laughed. Interesting. Must be another new god trait. I lifted my gaze. “Guess you’re fucked.”

  The shade let out a roar of anger. “No. I guess this body is fucked.”

  Without any warning, it wrenched its head to the right. The crack of its neck was like thunder. “Gods.” My lip curled as its inky eyes slid back to mine. The head hung at an odd unnatural angle. “That was unnecessary.”

  It laughed. “It was fun.”

  “Yeah. You need a fucking hobby.”

  Torin slammed another shade into the floor, shoving his blade into its chest as he lifted his dark gaze to Aiden. “There’s no helping them, is there?”

  “Nope.” Aiden kicked another back.

  “So what are you doing here?” Lifting the shade up, I turned and slammed him into the wall. “You’re out there catching pures and bringing them to the Titans? They’re nearby, aren’t they? Not in this city, I bet. But close.”

  The shade coughed out a guttural laugh. “What do you think?”

  “I think you’re nothing but a little bitch boy for the Titans.”

  Black blood seeped out the corners of the shade’s mouth. “They got to eat, too, you know? To get all big and strong.”

  “Uh-huh.” I stepped in, placing my other hand against his chest. Heat poured out of my palm. “Where are they?”

  His lips peeled back, revealing tar-stained teeth. “You’ll never find them.”

  “Oh, I think I will.” I dug in with my palm. “I’m going to ask you one more time. Where are they?”

  The shade stiffened as I pulled in the element of fire, and I felt Aiden draw closer. “I know who you are,” it said, jerking as the front of its shirt began to smoke. “I know that we had something that belonged to you.”

  Everything in me stilled. The world became quiet. “What did you say?”

  The shade moaned low, its voice gurgling as more blood spilled out of its mouth. “I . . . I used to stand out on the porch and watch Hyperion drag that blonde bitch into the house. Her screams made me hard. I miss her.”

  Rage roared to life, mingling with all the heady, powerful aether inside me. The air around me crackled. Those inky eyes met mine and then flared wide. I didn’t look away as the shirt burned away under my hand or as the skin bubbled. I didn’t blink a damn eyelash as blood and tissue gave way and the shade slumped to the floor.

  Exhaling deeply, I briefly closed my eyes as I twisted my neck from the left to the right. I opened my eyes, but I still wanted to destroy something. I wanted to take this whole godsdamn building down.

  “What did he say to you?” Aiden asked.

  Curling my hands into fists, I stepped back from the heap of burnt clothing and melted flesh. “He was there.”

  Aiden didn’t have to ask what that meant. He knew.

  “The Titans are here. They’re in Texas.”

  ~

  Josie

  “You sure you’re going to be okay?” I stood in the doorway of the room Seth had been given the last time we were here, dazed by what felt like an out-of-body experience. I found myself nodding at Alex’s question.

  We’d walked back to the dorm in silence. At least, I think we did. If Alex had spoken, I hadn’t heard her. My mind was still back in that minty-smelling room.

  I was pregnant. Pregnant.

  The nurse had taken my blood to just confirm the stick test results. I quickly learned that pregnancy among the pures, and I guess the halfs since the Breed Order had been abolished, was like a mortal pregnancy. Apparently the blood test would give me a better understanding of how far along I was, but I knew I couldn’t be more than three weeks unless one of the condoms Seth had used before had broken. That was possible, I guessed.

  But the problem with that was, according to the nurse, it wasn’t common to have noticeable symptoms so early on. Some women did. Then again, I wasn’t mortal and I wasn’t a pure-blood. The nurse admitted that pregnancy for a demigod could be something entirely different.

  There definitely weren’t any “Expecting Demigod Mothers” pamphlets in the room.

  The blood results would be back tomorrow, but I already knew deep down what they’d confirm. I was pregnant.

  A look of doubt had crept into Alex’s expression. “Do you want me to stay with you until Seth gets back?”

  “Thank you, but no. I need . . .” I trailed off as my stomach took a dive to the floor. What did I not need at this point? I was pregnant. I was actually impregnated by Seth. There was a fetus inside me that could be mortal, could be a demigod, or could be an actual god.

  Hell, the baby could be a minotaur for all I knew.

  So I needed a lot of things, but only one thing at the moment. “I just need to be alone for a little while. I need to process this.”

  “I understand.” Alex popped forward and gave me a quick, tight hug. “It’ll be okay. Especially once you talk to Seth.” She stepped back, but stopped. Her gaze met mine. “Congratulations.”

  I sucked in a soft breath. A knot plugged my throat as a flutter took root in my chest. From the moment the first thought of being pregnant popped into my head and right up to Alex saying congratulations, I hadn’t thought of being pregnant as a good th
ing. Mainly because I couldn’t even let myself truly think about it.