by CoraLee June
“How did you know that?” I asked before sitting beside him and snapping the black bikini out of his grip.
“How couldn’t I? You wore it to that bonfire last year.” Chase let out a low whistle, then stopped mid tease, as if realizing he was flirting with me over a box of his dead twin’s belongings.
“Do you want any of the pictures?” I redirected his attention from the swimsuit.
Chase picked up the pictures and started thumbing through them when the darkness returned to his eyes. He was holding one of the many selfies of Kai and Violet together.
“What happened at Kai’s today, Breeze,” he said, his voice straining to keep the anger at bay. Even though he was asking me a question, it came out more as a demand for an answer.
“Kai’s brother, Lex, stopped by. Did Violet ever mention him to you?”
“No, I knew he had a brother, but she never talked about him. But, Breeze, Kai’s family has a reputation. You have to stay away from him.”
I looked at the ground, stalling for a moment while I gathered my thoughts. That’s exactly what I thought Chase was going to say, but I still didn’t know how to tell him about the not-so-optional invitation I got for the barbecue tomorrow night.
“I didn’t know about him at all. But he knew exactly who I was.” I drug out my words. “And he invited me over to the family barbecue tomorrow.”
“Obviously you’re not going,” Chase said as if it were that simple.
“Yeah...I kind of am. Kai tried to tell his brother no, but I didn’t really get the impression that no was an option.”
“Of course it’s an option. You’re not going, Breezy.”
“Yes,” I insisted. “I am. This might be a good way to find out more information.”
“Fuck!” Chase yelled as he stood up. I watched with my mouth dropped open in shock as he paced the room. “This is so fucked up!” Chase started screaming, then ran toward a wall littered with family photos. Rearing back, he let out a roar of pain and turmoil, and punched it. The damage his anger issues were causing to the drywall was starting to add up. I realized that there was nobody here to even care. His parents were God knows where, and Violet was gone. Chase was free to punch as many walls as he wanted. He pulled back and stared at his red knuckles. “I told you to stay away from Kai in the first place. And now you are going to spend time with the whole damn family?” Chase raged.
“You were the one that asked me to get close to him,” I replied calmly from my spot on the couch. “You practically begged me to learn what really happened that night. Now I have the perfect chance, and you want to be mad at me?” I asked. Maybe it was seeing Celeste leaving his bedroom or the overwhelming hurt I’d been feeling the last few weeks, but I wasn’t going to let him take out his frustrations on me. Chase had always had a bit of a temper, but I cared too much about him to let this anger continue to spiral out of control.
“I know. Fuck, I know. I didn’t think you’d actually do it, though.”
“That’s not fair, and you know it. You...kissed me on the beach the day of Violet’s funeral, then demanded I find answers.”
Chase scowled before stalking closer to me. “Is that what this is about? Are you pissed because Celeste was here? You’re jealous. Are you trying to get back at me or something?” Chase knelt down at my feet and peered into my eyes. Despite the submissive angle of his body, I felt the fury rolling off of him.
“I don’t care what you do with Celeste,” I said, making Chase smile.
“You don’t?” he asked before placing a hot palm on my upper thigh.
“No. I don’t care,” I lied.
Chase leaned forward, testing me. He pressed a tender kiss on my knee, just above the scar I got while skateboarding down Little Mountain when we were in middle school. Chase and Violet both carried me home with blood dripping down my leg. “I’m saying...” Chase paused to kiss higher. I held my breath and forced myself not to squirm. “I wouldn’t be upset if you cared.” Chase grabbed my hand and pulled me up, making me cringe at the sharp pain in my side. He didn’t stop, though. I collided with his chest, bracing my hands against the hard planes of his muscles while looking up at him.
On his neck was that deep purple hickey in the shape of Celeste’s lips. It sobered me some, despite the precious way he held me. “Why don’t you stay with me instead of going, huh? We can have another sleepover.”
Chase kissed my forehead. My cheeks. My neck. My collarbone. My chest started heaving in the air with every sweet kiss. It felt surreal to be at the center of his attention. I’d been craving him for so long that I wasn’t sure I could trust myself to keep a level head where he was concerned. I should have ended this crush long ago, but now that Violet was gone, it had twisted into some sort of codependency I wasn’t willing to give up. “Chase,” I moaned. I felt like a puppet. “I have to go. We have to do this for Violet.”
Chase went still. Too still. I could feel the anger just brimming beneath the surface. He threaded his fingers through mine. “I’ll stop sleeping with Celeste,” he promised, though there was something inauthentic about his words. I couldn’t put my finger on it.
“You don’t have to stop sleeping with Celeste, Chase. Do whatever you want.” Those words were like dry, volcanic ash on my tongue. I hated saying it. I’d liked Chase for a long time, and coming to terms with the fact that he’d never be mine was a hard pill to swallow. But I had harder things to deal with right now. My love life just didn’t seem important when I couldn’t even talk to my best friend about it.
“Whatever I want, huh?” he asked before tilting my chin up. I looked him in the eye and saw hints of Violet’s mischievousness in his gaze. It was that flirty look both the twins possessed. Like they could control anyone. Do anything. Make you fall in love with a single glance.
“You’re my friend, Chase. I want you to be happy.”
“You make me happy. When I’m with you…it’s the only time I feel okay.”
My heart burned for him. I desperately wanted to make him feel okay. I wanted to smooth the pain in his battered heart and ease his grief. Focusing on him made it easier to forget how devastated I felt.
“I feel the same,” I whispered.
Chase leaned closer and brushed his lips to mine. I tried not to think about these same lips touching Celeste. I tried to live in the moment and revel in his touch—a touch I’d craved for as long as I could remember. His mouth parted, opening for me. His tongue slipped between my lips and savored my taste. His hands roamed my body, carefully missing the wound at my side. I felt my nipples pebble, so sharp they could cut holes through my tank top. My legs wobbled. Slick heat practically melted the skin between my thighs. He commanded my attention with every stroke of his tongue and brush of his hands.
“Don’t go with him,” Chase begged between kisses.
It was like dumping a bucket of ice water over my head. I stopped and pulled away, my eyes a heavy daze of confusion, lust, and guilt. “I’m going, Chase. I have to find out what happened to Violet. And I have to help Kai. Something tells me he doesn’t like his family. I want to know why.”
That apparently was the wrong thing to say. Chase stepped backward and ran his hands through his light brown hair. “Fine. You want to go? Go. I don’t care. See yourself out.”
“Chase, please don’t do this. I’m trying to help you,” I pleaded.
“You can help me by getting the fuck out of here.”
“Fine,” I echoed. Hot tears sprung to my eyes, and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep them from falling. I could handle a lot of things. But I felt like a dam breaking in that moment. There was only so much a girl could take. Chase’s mood swings were exhausting, and I couldn’t keep up anymore. I just had to get out.
I left so quickly that I didn’t even give him a chance to change his mind. I was already halfway out the door when I thought I heard him say my name, but I couldn’t handle Chase like this. I kept going and closed the door behind me, sighing in rel
ief once I had an entire house between us.
I had bigger things to worry about than Chase’s erratic behavior. Like why Lex Lewis was so interested in me.
Dear Diary,
He was angry at me today. I pushed him too far. I demanded too much. He slapped my cheek, so I grabbed his cock. I unbuttoned him like a dress shirt, reveling in his unraveling. Slowly. Sensually. He told me my mouth was wasted on kisses and pleas. He said I should fill it with something more worthwhile.
XOXO,
Violet
Chase was avoiding me in school, which was pretty easy since we didn’t have any classes together. I was surprised that Chase showed up at all; his attendance had been sporadic at best lately, not that I was one to talk. I only even knew that he was here at all because I overheard some juniors talking about how good his ass looked today. Typical.
I was relieved that Chase didn’t want to try to revisit the conversation we had last night. It was odd how similar he and Violet were to one another. When they felt wronged, it was normal for them to give the silent treatment. Sometimes, I wondered if they did it because their parents were always cutting them off. They were taught how to be absent by them.
I was nervous enough about the barbecue tonight that I didn’t think about Chase’s silence too much. Kai texted last night and asked if he could pick me up from school today. He didn’t want me driving alone to the barbecue, and I got the feeling that Kai was just as nervous as I was. Chase had only just recently told me Kai’s family was involved in drugs. But it all felt sensationalized. I let my mind wander to other extremes. Sex trafficking. Murder for hire. Embezzlement.
When the last bell of the day finally rang, I sprang out of my seat and headed outside, keeping my head down to avoid Chase should we run into one another. I knew he was mad about me going, but he wanted me to find answers, and I was in too deep to stop now. When I got to the pond on the other side of the school, Kai was already waiting for me. His truck was grumbling, and rock music blared loudly from his speakers. I could see at least two surfboards in the bed of the truck, along with some other gear. When Kai saw me, he reached over the passenger side and pushed open the door. I smoothed my jean shorts and tugged at the flowy white tank top I wore before climbing inside.
“Hey,” I greeted as he turned down the music.
Kai wasted no time diving into the seriousness of what we were doing. “This is going to be quick, okay? In and out. Let Lex do his usual power play, then we leave. I’ll take you straight home.”
I straightened in my seat while shoving my backpack into the space by my feet. Hello to you, too. Kai looked over at me and huffed.
“What?” I asked.
He rolled his eyes, then leaned over and grabbed the buckle, strapping me in like I was an incompetent toddler. Up close, I could smell the salt water on his skin and a hint of cologne. He was wearing a white button up surf shirt and board shorts. His skin was kissed with a deep tan, and his hair was wet, like he just got out of the ocean and came straight here to pick me up. His hand brushed against my thigh, and I turned my attention to the window with a sigh.
“I could have done that,” I whispered.
“I’m faster. How’s your side?”
It was doing a little better. I didn’t need Tylenol to get through the day anymore. “Good. Should I be prepared for anything? What can I expect?” I asked. I wanted more information about Lex but didn’t know if Kai would be suspicious if I asked about him.
Kai turned out of the parking lot and started barreling down the winding road that hugged the coast. I pressed against the back of the cloth seats and clenched my fists. He drove like he surfed: aggressively. “You can expect to stay by my side the entire time. Don’t leave my sight for a single second.”
I rolled my eyes. “Why are you so scared, Kai?”
“I’m not fucking scared,” he snapped. “I’m trying to be smart about this. Lex is a fucking tool. He likes to act like a big shot New York mobster, but he’s nothing more than a drug pusher. He can’t do shit. He’s just...unpredictable.”
Drugs. Okay. At least now I had more of an idea of what I was walking into. Or, at least I had what I knew from books and movies, for whatever that was worth. I wasn’t ignorant, but the majority of my experience with drugs was the pot people smoked at parties and the Xanax Violet sometimes stole from her mother’s stash. I wasn’t a fan of anything that made me feel weird.
“Okay, I’ll stay close,” I promised. I wasn’t planning on going off on my own anyway.
We rode in silence the rest of the way. Kai gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning whiter the longer we drove. We drove over train tracks to the opposite side of the island. More locals who couldn’t afford the prime real estate lived here. I didn’t come over here often since just about everywhere I went was within a fifteen-minute bike ride away. So it was easy to forget that our little island was actually much bigger than it seemed, and not all of it was like the slice of paradise we called home.
By the time we pulled up to a mobile home whose best days were behind it, Kai’s mouth was a thin white line matching his knuckles. I reached to undo my seat belt when Kai caught my hand.
“Stay close, Breeze. I’m serious, I need to be able to see you,” Kai repeated firmly.
“I know. Trust me, I’m not about going solo and socializing on my best days, so I got it.”
“And no matter what Lex says, don’t give him a reaction. Okay? Nothing.”
“Fine.”
Kai let go of my hand, and I finished unbuckling the belt and maneuvered my way out of the tall truck. We walked up to the front door together, and after he rapped on the door, he wound his arm around my shoulder.
The weight of his arm, mixed with the scent of the ocean still on his skin, calmed my nerves. I took a deep breath to center myself, and the door opened. Instead of being greeted by the smell of grilling meat and sweet barbecue, I was slammed with the musty smell of mold and rotting food. It was a lingering smell that permeated the air and didn’t leave.
“Breeze. I’m so glad you could make it. Come in,” Lex cooed.
I glanced nervously at Kai and stepped through the door. Once inside, I could see at least one source of the smell. The trash can was overflowing and looked like it hadn’t been emptied in weeks. Garbage was piled precariously on top and stacked on the surrounding counters. The sink was equally as full of dishes with caked on food.
I smiled politely at Lex as he led us through the trailer. He was playing tour guide and pointing out the different areas, which were all as dirty and dilapidated as the kitchen. I said a silent prayer for my bladder, willing it to hold out until we could leave this place. I did not want to find out what the bathroom looked like. Why the hell did Lex want me to come so badly? Did he really want me to see this?
We finally reached the backyard. It only took us a few minutes, but it felt much longer. There were several men standing around. One was manning the grill, and the others were sitting in lawn chairs, drinking beer. I noticed that there were no women here. I briefly wondered about Kai’s mother when Lex started to introduce me to a tall, shirtless man with dark tattoos covering every inch of skin.
“Hank, this is Breeze,” Kai said in a monotone voice.
Hank broke out into a big smile, revealing that his front tooth was rotten. “Hello there, Breeze. It’s nice to meet you.” He wiped his sweaty hand on his pants and held it out to me. I looked at Kai before reaching out to shake it.
“You don’t take long, my brother,” Hank said. “Wasn’t that long ago you were bringing Violet here, eh?” Hank started cackling, as if the death of my best friend was something to joke about.
Kai wasn’t amused. He wrapped his hand around my wrist and dragged me over to a rusted lawn chair perched beneath a tall tree, away from the crowd. He plopped down on it, and I was about to sit down on the hard dirt when he unexpectedly pulled me into his lap. The moment I sat down, my entire body grew tense. His salty sce
nt and strong muscles enveloped me, and I fought the urge to curl into him. What was wrong with me? “Relax,” Kai whispered in my ear, his hot breath feathered over my neck. “Stay close, remember? Let them think what they want. No one messes with me.”
I swallowed. “Right.”
We people-watched for a little while, and I tried to take in every detail. The men here chuckled, cooked, and teased, but no one seemed to go out of their way to include Kai in their antics. It was almost as if they’d given up on including him ages ago. “Is this your family?” I asked while squirming on his lap. Kai sighed and flipped my legs over, cradling me against his chest. It was admittedly more comfortable to sit that way, but the intimacy of the move made me anxious. I couldn’t help but imagine Violet doing this exact same thing. Did she cuddle Kai? Did she get along with his family? I felt like an awkward stand-in for the person he really wanted. I couldn’t help but be curious about her dynamic here—with Kai.
“Some are distant cousins. Some are Lex’s friends. He does this every week.”
“Did Violet ever come?”
Kai went quiet and started rubbing his thumb across my ankle. Goose bumps traveled up my leg, and I shuddered. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the creepy situation we were in or his touches. “Yeah. I brought her to a couple of these.”
“Did she get to know anyone?” I asked. It felt like I was walking on thin ice. One misstep and this entire evening could crack.
“Stop trying to be a detective, Breeze.” I rolled my eyes and shifted on his lap. Kai gripped me tighter. Lex walked outside and inspected the sausages on the grill before turning to face us. Kai held me closer and pressed his lips against my ear.
“Please don’t say anything. Just follow my lead.”
“What are you doing?” I asked as his hand moved up to grip my hip. My breathing had become erratic. My heart was a racing mess. Kai’s lips lingered against my sweaty skin.
