by CoraLee June
I lifted up on my tiptoes and bravely pressed my lips to his, answering his question with an unspoken promise. This was happening. Kai moaned when I gave in. Kissing Kai was like getting caught inside a bomb wave. I felt trapped between the shoreline and breaking waves. We were in the crash zone. His hands roamed my body, cupping my ass, gripping my hips, and brushing his rough hands against the sides of my breasts. I wanted more.
They say the ocean can smell your fear. It’s why you have to dive into every ride with all you’ve got. You never know when it’ll be your last. And if you’re going to wipe out, you might as well do it chasing the wave of your life. I jumped up a little, wrapping my legs around his middle, grinding against him as our kisses turned rough. He held me tightly against him as I savored the taste of his tongue.
He walked me toward the front door, yanking it open with a hard tug before bringing me inside and toward his bedroom. I moaned into his mouth. I threaded my hands through his hair and pulled, exposing his neck so I could nip at his heated skin there.
Within an instant, my back hit his mattress, and I dug my elbows into the plush cushion so I was propped up, biting my lip as I watched him remove his shirt. Each dip and groove of his abs was flexed under my hard stare. His tanned skin was peppered with beads of sweat. He ran a hand down his stomach and tugged at the waistband of his board shorts, adjusting himself. Intrusive thoughts about what he and Violet did in this very bed threatened to ruin the moment, but I pushed them away. Violet brought us together, I wouldn’t let her memory tear us apart.
“You look so beautiful, Little Whisper,” he said, his voice full of awe and adoration. I was breathing heavily. My entire body was on fire. I’d never done this before. I’d never offered myself so freely. I’d never wanted someone like I wanted Kai Lewis.
“Come here,” I pleaded. Kai wasted no time. His knees landed on the mattress, and he crawled closer, hovering over my body. His lips found my shin, my knee, my thigh. His hands pried my legs apart, and I watched him lick my skin. “I-I’ve never…”
A flush of embarrassment flooded me at my words. Kai was obviously experienced, and I didn’t want to ruin this, but he needed to know that this was new territory for me. Kai paused before nipping at my inner thigh. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He moved up my body before kissing my lips with angry resolve. I fell into the mattress as he hovered over me. “I won’t push you farther than you want to go,” he promised. “But can I make you feel good?”
I wasn’t sure how I could possibly feel any better than I already did. My body was pulsing, the heat at the apex of my thighs was throbbing with need. I craved to relieve the need building in my bones, my nerves, my soul.
“I-I want to feel good,” I admitted, suddenly feeling shy.
Kai smiled before grabbing the edge of my shirt and lifting it up over my head. I was wearing my bikini top. I probably wore my swimsuits more than I wore a bra. “Fuck, Breeze. You know how many times I saw you wearing this and wanted to untie these strings?” he asked before laying a delicate finger over the small triangle covering my right breast.
“Please,” I begged as he ran his mouth over my nipple, teasing me through the hot pink fabric.
“Please, what?” he asked, teasing me.
“Please take it off.”
“With pleasure, Little Whisper.” I lifted my head some so he could pull at the strings tying my top together. With one single expert pull, my breasts were free. The look of reverence and hunger on his face made me warm with desire. “Your pretty nipples are so perfect. So pink.” He wrapped his lips around them and moaned, massaging the other breast with his hand. He kneaded and pulled at my flesh while grinding against me with his muscular body.
I moaned. More. I needed something…more.
He moved to kiss my lips again, devouring and flicking his tongue against mine as his hand moved lower, lower, lower. He unbuttoned my shorts, and I stiffened. “You okay?” he asked, stopping immediately.
“No one has ever… I’ve never…”
“No one has ever touched you?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
“No,” I replied, my voice an embarrassed whisper.
“Can I? I’ll make it good for you, Breeze.”
My mind went through a variety of thoughts, my insecurities committing tyranny on my needy body. What if he didn’t like how I looked? I was shaved, but what if that’s not what he likes? What if I couldn’t orgasm? What if I said the wrong thing, responded embarrassingly? “I’m nervous. What if I…”
“You’re perfect. You can’t do anything wrong. And if you don’t like it, I’ll stop. There is no pressure. We can even stop now, if you’d like.”
“No!” I practically shouted, making Kai laugh. I wasn’t ready to end this. “Just go slow?”
Kai grinned. “I’ll go slow until you ask me to go faster, okay?” Kai slipped his hand into my shorts, cupping my sex with his hot palm. Just that simple touch made my entire body jerk.
“Have you ever touched yourself, Breeze?” he asked.
“N-No,” I lied. I felt too embarrassed to admit that I did. I didn’t want to think about the last time I made myself come. Not now. Not with Kai.
His eyes widened in shock, but his fingers started circling the neediest part of me, the throbbing heat I couldn’t quite get a hold on. My body bucked, and a moan escaped my lips. I was surprised at how easily I responded to his touch. “That feels so fucking good,” I rasped.
Kai moved excruciatingly slow, his movements thoughtful and teasing. “More,” I begged, my thrashing body a wave of sensations.
“Faster?” Kai asked with a smile.
“Please.”
His fingers worked me harder, building that wave within me to all new heights. I couldn’t even explain the sensations within me. It was like sitting on my board with my back to the water. I knew the ride of my life was coming. Building. Growing. One of his fingers eased at my entrance, and I opened my thighs wider for him. He easily slipped inside, and I felt my walls clench around him.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Kai groaned. His hand moved faster and faster. I climbed that peak. I moaned and screamed his name. Higher, higher, higher. “You’re clenching my fingers like such a good girl. Does this feel good?”
“Y-Yes,” I choked out.
Soon, a flood of pleasure rushed my body. My lips parted. My back arched against him. My pussy clenched his fingers as I yelled his name. “Kai!” It was a rush, better than any epic surf ride. I rode his hand hard, grinding against his skilled movements until the flood of relief was gone. “Fuck,” I whispered, making Kai preen. My hands ran over his chest and abs as he leaned back to watch me come down from my high.
He moved his fingers from my body and up to his lips. I suddenly felt embarrassed. His mouth opened, and he plopped his thumb in his mouth, sucking on it with a hunger that made me ready to strip his clothes and slide him inside of me. I wanted to feel full of Kai. “You taste so sweet. Next time, I want you to ride my face, Little Whisper.”
I gasped at his heated words. I could feel his hard cock against my thigh. I’d known that guys got blue balls, but I had no idea what to do about it. I felt bad that Kai had given me an orgasm but had no relief. I reached for his abs and trailed to the waistband of his board shorts, prepared to feel him—please him.
Kai’s hand shot out and wrapped around my wrist. “Nope,” he said softly, making me frown. “Today is about you. There will be plenty of time for that.” I blanched. Did he not want me to? Was he worried I’d be bad? Kai must have noticed the fear on my face, because he spoke again. “Don’t get me wrong. I want nothing more than to let you touch me. I want to slip inside your wet, tight pussy and come hard while you’re clenching my cock. I want your sweet mouth wrapped around me. I want to fuck you everywhere. Anywhere. I want you to ride me and fall apart.” I was about ready to do all those things. I struggled against his grip, seeking his dick. “But not today,” Kai added with a grin. “Today is about you. Tod
ay, I’m going to hold you.”
I let out a shaky breath, then smiled. I felt truly safe in Kai’s care. We had a lot to discuss and work through. I wasn’t sure about Lex and what was happening. But I liked this. Our moment together was special. It was the start of something new. It was the start of us.
“Okay,” I replied, feeling lame for not having hot words to reciprocate with. All I had was the promise that I’d try. And even though I knew the guilt would soon come, the doubt, the fear, the all-consuming grief, I pushed it all away for now. I placed my head against his chest and stroked his skin. I let Kai Lewis hold me. I let the world slip away.
Dear Diary,
I’m scared. Do you ever think about what happens when you’re gone? I’m not sure how this is going to end. But I know I’ll miss him. How can I love someone capable of causing so much pain? What does that say about me, Diary?
XOXO,
Violet
Firm knocking on the door snapped us out of our blissful state. Kai groaned but didn’t move to get out of the bed. He pulled me a little tighter with the heavy arm that was already wrapped around me.
“Maybe if we stay really quiet, whoever it is will go away,” he whispered playfully, kissing the top of my head. He trailed his fingers down my collar bone and palmed my naked breast, caressing my nipple.
“I’m not going to be able to keep quiet if you keep doing that,” I replied, my words came out low and throaty. I almost didn’t recognize my own voice, full of lust.
The knocking returned, more insistent than before. Kai grinned at me mischievously and pinched my nipple before swinging a leg out of bed. As he stood, I could see the massive bulge in his boxer briefs begging for relief. He reached down to adjust himself and pulled on some shorts, not bothering with a shirt. He smoothed his hair down and reached down to softly kiss my lips.
“Don’t move. When I come back, I want to pick up where we left off,” he teased as he walked out of the small bedroom.
I heard the front door open, and the bus was immediately full of Lex’s booming voice demanding to know what Kai told the police. My entire body stiffened, and I was very aware of my nakedness. Getting out of bed as quietly as I could, I scrambled to pull on whatever clothes I could find, while silently praying that Lex wasn’t going to come back here. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but the bus also wasn’t anywhere near soundproof, and I could hear everything they said.
“How the fuck did you let yourself get arrested?”
“I didn’t get arrested, Lex. But even if I did, there’s not much I could have done about it.”
“Then why don’t you tell me exactly what happened,” Lex bullied. I couldn’t see his face, but I could imagine it twisting into a menacing smile.
“They just wanted to ask me some questions about Chase, that’s all,” Kai replied vaguely.
“That’s it? They didn’t ask anything about me?” Lex’s voice was tinged with something I hadn’t come to expect from the man—fear. What was he hiding?
“They wanted to know about the fight I got into with Chase,” Kai avoided directly answering Lex’s question. I was holding my breath as I listened. This was too much. The anxiety made it difficult for me to breathe.
“Well alright then,” Lex said, his voice much more relaxed. “Listen, little brother, I need you to do something for me.”
“What is it?” Kai asked. All of my muscles tensed as I waited for Lex’s response.
“I have a run I need you to do. Cops are getting a little too close to me since Violet’s death,” he challenged, anger pulsing through his words.
“And why is that? Did you have something to do with it?” Kai replied, barely containing his anger.
“I think your little fuck toy, Breeze, told them to look into me. Besides, what do you care? We both know you didn’t like the bitch. She was just a pussy to get your dick wet. And what a fine pussy that was. Such a waste.”
Anger like a hurricane unfurled inside of me. I wanted to march out of Kai’s bedroom and slap Lex across the cheek. Kai might have admitted to having feelings for me, but I didn’t like how Lex made Violet out to be a body that was only good for fucking. But something else about his statement made me pause. Was this confirmation that Lex had been sleeping with Violet? My chest constricted.
“Watch it, Lex. She was my girlfriend,” Kai replied in a growl.
“She was a liability,” Lex replied. “You know as well as I do that we can’t let anyone get close. It’s been you and me since Ma died. Don’t let some pussy get between us.”
“You’re right,” Kai replied. “But I still don’t get why you felt she was a liability. We didn’t let her get close to the business. I hardly do jobs anymore.”
“That’s going to change, brother,” Lex replied, sidestepping the question. “I need you to start picking up the slack. Doing more runs.”
“No,” Kai forced out. “I’m not doing more than I already am. The police are watching my every move.”
“And who’s fault is that?” Lex screamed. I heard a crashing sound, as if Lex had thrown something. “You’re going to help me, or I’ll make a habit of taking care of anyone you fuck. Don’t think I didn’t notice the bike outside. Don’t think I can’t smell the sex in the air.”
It felt like Lex was talking directly to me. He knew I was here. Fuck. Both of them went quiet, and I debated on continuing to hide here or meet Lex’s threats head-on. He wanted me to hear all of this. He wanted me to know what he was capable of.
I held my breath, waiting for one of them to speak.
“Send me the drop-off information,” Kai finally relented.
“Your cooperation is appreciated,” Lex said sarcastically, emphasizing every word. I heard the front door slam shut and Lex’s car peel out, spraying sand behind it.
The door to Kai’s bedroom slid open, and he wrapped his warm arms around me. I hadn’t even realized I was trembling until Kai’s hand rubbed my back. “It’s okay. We’re going to figure this out. I’ll be okay.”
I nodded against his chest. “What if he attacks you? What if he comes after me?” I asked, feeling selfish for worrying about myself. Lex was a loose cannon, determined to hurt us all.
“I won’t let that happen,” Kai promised. “But right now, you need to go somewhere safe. Fuck, stay with Chase if you have to. Is your mom working?”
“Yeah, she’s got doubles all weekend, and lord knows where my dad is.” At the mention of my father, a thought occurred to me. “Hey,” I began while pulling away to look up at Kai. “Can you find out if my father is on Lex’s client list?”
Kai’s brow furrowed. “Why?”
“Lex came to the shop, and he definitely knew my father. Dad’s been acting weird. Disappearing. He looks both wired and tired all at once. I think he’s doing drugs,” I admitted.
Kai gave me a look laced with pity. We both knew I didn’t need any additional issues on my plate. “I can do some digging. I’m sorry, Little Whisper.”
Letting out a sigh, I wrapped Kai in another hug. “It’ll be okay. One thing at a time, yeah?”
Kai smiled. “One thing at a time.”
Kai said it wasn’t safe for me to come over to the bus anymore. I didn’t have to ask to know if he was going to do runs for Lex. He went to the police station again to give them an update, making sure he wasn’t followed. I didn’t like that he was playing double agent, but I didn’t feel like there was much I could do. I also didn’t feel safe going home alone. Dad was gone again, and since I didn’t have a shift at the surf shop, there was only one place left for me to go: Chase’s house.
I felt awkward knocking on his door. Aside from our texts, we hadn’t really had a chance to talk since our fight at school. The ornate door swung open, and Chase stood there looking at me before gesturing for me to come inside.
“Hey,” he said, his voice and body language completely indifferent to my being here. He didn’t even bother asking me why I stopped by. He just turned and sta
rted walking into the house.
I followed him into the living room, relieved that he didn’t slam the door in my face. It didn’t look much different from the last time I was here, when the detectives were delivering Violet’s autopsy report. Emotion surged through my body, catching in my throat. I didn’t know how Chase could stand to be here in this house by himself. Everything was a constant reminder of either Violet’s life or her death.
I opened my mouth to apologize. I didn’t know exactly what for. I wasn’t sorry that I stood up for myself or said the words that I did. They needed to be said. But I was sorry that Chase was alone, and I was sorry if I had done anything to add to his mountain of misery. I hadn’t even gotten one word out before Chase stopped me.
“Breeze, I’m happy you came over,” he said, his words not matching his apathetic demeanor.
“Are you sure?” I asked. “It doesn’t seem like you’re happy to see me.”
“Yes, I’m sure. I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I was mad at first at school. After our disagreement. But I thought about what you said.” He paused, but I didn’t want to prod him. I waited for him to continue on his own. “It was really hard having everyone think that I killed Violet. I didn’t like the feeling that people actually thought I was capable of murdering my own twin. And then you called me out on my bullshit. Forced me to look inside of myself, and you were right. I was being cruel and lashing out. I think I was punishing myself for not saving Violet by making sure that nobody loved me anymore. But you still did.”
Chase said the last part in a whisper, his hazel eyes fixed on me, unblinking. I don’t think I had ever heard him open up like this and actually talk about what he was feeling. His vulnerability spoke to my soul, and I ran to him, pulling him into a hug, squeezing tight.
