by CoraLee June
“As good as you can expect,” I admitted.
A dark head of hair and muscular body came into view, and it felt like my entire body was alive. Kai was cradling his board under his arm and wore a stoic expression. “At least you have that sexy hunk of man to wipe your tears,” Celeste said with a low whistle.
Maybe it was because I missed girl talk or because Celeste was just in the right place at the right time, but I decided to open up to her. “Except he doesn’t talk to me anymore. He avoids me like the plague.”
Celeste chuckled. “Really? Because I saw him staring at you long before you noticed him.”
“Really?” I asked, albeit a bit too excitedly.
“Can I give you some advice?” Celeste asked.
“I have a feeling you’ll give it to me regardless.”
Celeste reached for the edge of my shirt and pulled it over my head. She then grabbed my ponytail and yanked the rubber band out, making my wavy hair fall down my back. “I’ll only say this once, but you’re hot. You don’t even have to try. It’s actually kind of infuriating. Sometimes you have to get off your ass and take what you want, Breeze Shirley. Stop pining for the asshole and go show him what he’s missing.”
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Yeah. Go. I’ll be here when you’re done. And then we can sit and watch the competition and pretend to not hate each other for a day. Okay?”
She shooed me with her hands, and I quickly stood up, pausing to grab the fresh block of wax I had stashed in my bag. Kai was standing away from the crowd, looking out into the ocean. I jogged over to where he was standing and took a second to ruffle my hair before reaching out my hand and apprehensively touching his shoulder. He turned to face me, but I couldn’t tell if he was happy to see me or irritated. His eyes didn’t betray his feelings whatsoever.
“Hey,” he said casually.
“Hey,” I said back, feeling incredibly awkward with the man who used to make me feel so safe and loved.
We stood there uncomfortably staring at each other, not really knowing what to say. I looked down at my feet in the sand trying to find the right words when I remembered the wax in my hand. I held it up between us like an offering on a shrine.
“Thanks,” he said completely stone-faced. “But I already waxed my board.”
“Oh,” I whispered. “I just thought that maybe you’d like a new one. For luck, you know?” Kai turned his head, averting his eyes. There were so many things I wanted to say to him. I hated this. Words poured out of me. “So, are we done? I mean, we never had an official break up. I’ve just kind of assumed since you stopped returning my calls, haven’t stopped by to see me, and pretty much avoid me in public...”
I prayed that he’d correct me. I wanted him to tell me that this was just a temporary lapse in our story—that he’d worked through his reservations and we could move past it all. “Breeze,” he murmured, his tone tinged with regret. I watched as he scratched the back of his neck. “I really have to get ready for the competition, okay?”
“Right,” I whispered. “The competition.”
“Take care of yourself,” he said before brushing past me. I was just about to walk off when anger unfurled in my gut. No. I wasn’t going to let him walk away. He didn’t even have the balls to say it to my face—to end this? After everything we’d been through.
“Kai!” I yelled. He stopped walking and spun around to face me. I marched up to him without a care. Fuck this. “You don’t get to just walk away. You don’t get to just ghost me.”
“I’m not trying to ghost you, I just—”
“You’re just ignoring me. And when I asked, you couldn’t even give me a proper break up. I’m not ready to end this. I love you, Kai. But I’m not going to wait around forever, either. This year, I’ve lost my best friend, my father, the surf shop, my sense of normalcy. But I haven’t lost hope. You and I could be really good. We were really good together. I hope you figure out what you want, and I really hope what you want is me. Good luck today.”
Kai frowned at me but didn’t say a word. Seconds passed, and he disappeared into the throng of people. I lowered my hand with the wax and let my head and shoulders slump as I tried to keep myself together. I walked back to where Celeste was waiting. It was obvious from the look on her face that she could tell what happened, even though she hadn’t heard our words. I sat down next to her on the sand, just waiting for some kind of backhanded comment from her.
“It’s okay, Breeze. It doesn’t mean anything. He’s a dumbass for not jumping on you.”
Between Celeste actually being nice and the painfully uncomfortable interaction with Kai, I couldn’t hold back the tears. I discreetly wiped them away as they fell, embarrassed that I wasn’t able to stop crying. Especially in front of Celeste. I guess that made us even now, both crying in front of each other over boys.
“It’s okay to cry. You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Celeste said, reading my mind. Her voice was shockingly gentle. “But when you’re ready, we are going to show that dick exactly what he walked away from.”
I took a couple of deep breaths and blew them out. I looked at Celeste and nodded my head. “Okay, I’m good.”
“One second,” she said as she started digging through her massive designer bag. It was beyond me why anyone would need an expensive bag just to bring to the beach where it was going to get covered in sand and water. Violet had them too. Celeste surfaced from her tote holding some makeup. “I meant what I said before, you’re hot without even trying. But let’s step it up a notch,” she said, confidently waving tubes in front of my face.
She got to work on my face. First she smudged some pink into my cheeks and then layered some sparkly highlighter onto my cheekbones and in the corners of my eyes. The last thing she did was apply a coat of shiny lip gloss to my lips. She pulled out a mirror and held it up to my face.
“Wow, Breeze. You are seriously gorgeous. I am so good it’s scary,” she congratulated herself.
I took the mirror from her hands and examined my face. The makeup wasn’t thick or caked on like Violet used to do to me. It was subtle and soft, my skin looked like it was glowing. I had to admit, Celeste was pretty talented with a makeup brush.
“Ow owww.” I heard a wolf whistle as Chase plopped down next to me. “Look at you, hot stuff.”
“Excuse me,” Celeste said, standing up and glaring at Chase. “I need to be anywhere but here. I’ll catch up with you later, Breeze.”
“Are you two friends now?” Chase watched her walk away. “How the hell did that happen?” he asked incredulously.
“Oh, Celeste? She was just being nice.” I stood up and smiled at Chase.
“Wow. I didn’t know she could do that,” he murmured in a sarcastic tone, slowly getting to his feet as he watched her walk away. I shoved playfully at his chest, and he wrapped me up in a bear hug. “I need my good luck hug.”
I patted his back and forced a smile to my face. Despite my hard talk with Kai, there was something about Chase that just made me feel lighter. We’d come a long way. “You ready for the competition?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Chase answered while pulling away. “It feels kind of weird, though. You know? First one without Violet. Is it okay that I miss her still?”
I brushed my hand along my silver necklace, drawing Chase’s eyes there. “Of course you can still miss her,” I said, my eyes softening with care for my friend. “And she’s here. In her own way.”
Chase wrapped me up in another hug, this one full of meaning that couldn’t be put into words. I felt his pain in that hug. Chase had experienced so much this year. I wanted him to be okay. “You better win,” I whispered before peering over his shoulder. My eyes landed on Kai, and I was struck by his cynical gaze. Kai’s arms were flexed as he watched Chase and me embrace.
Chase pulled back. “Oh you know it. I gotta kick Kai’s ass.” I grinned. “After, let’s go get ice cream.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I replied be
fore remembering the block of wax in my purse. “Oh! And here.” I bent over and grabbed it, handing the block to Chase with a sad smile. “For good luck.”
“You’re my girl, Honeybum. See you when I’m done.”
Chase ran off toward the staging area to prep his gear, and I watched with my arms crossed over my chest. He was right, it did feel weird to be here without Violet. And even though her memory stung still, I felt her presence now. The better parts of my memories with her filled me as I stared at the ocean.
And then something hard and cool pressed into my back. “Don’t move, Breeze.” Lex’s voice was like a knife cutting through my good mood.
I stood frozen to my spot, paralyzed by fear. I wanted to run or scream or do something. Do anything. But I just stood there, acutely aware of the spot the gun was making contact with my exposed skin, knowing that if Lex pulled the trigger right now, I wouldn’t survive. I would bleed out on the beach.
“Okay, Breeze, what we are going to do is walk back to the parking lot and get into my truck. If you scream or draw any attention to yourself, I will unload this clip into the crowd. Do you understand me?” Lex asked, his voice calm and controlled.
I couldn’t speak, so I just nodded my head and let him lead me away from the safety of the beach. I knew I should scream, that this was my best chance of getting help. I knew that I should kick him and run. And I knew that my chances of surviving dropped drastically if I let him take me somewhere else. But I had no doubt that Lex would follow through with his threat, and I couldn’t risk the lives of all the people here for the competition.
My heart was racing, I could feel it beating hard against my chest. I stared straight ahead as Lex guided my movements with an arm around me. Anyone who glanced at us would think we were lovers. Anyone who actually looked at us would see my wild eyes begging for help.
When we reached the parking lot, Lex opened the driver’s side door and made me climb in and over to the passenger side, the gun trained on me the entire time, before taking his place behind the wheel. Once we were inside the car, my body flooded with an overwhelming sense of dread. I wrapped my arms around my shoulders, trying to stop the trembling.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked, my voice coming out weak and raspy. It was unrecognizable as my own.
“Anxious to get this party started? Don’t worry, you’ll see soon enough,” he answered.
Lex had one hand on the steering wheel and the other in his lap, casually holding the gun he kept pointed at me. He started singing along with the radio, tapping his fingers against the wheel. I said a silent prayer that someone would notice I was missing.
“It’s a good day for surfing,” Lex observed while staring out the window at the riptides. We were driving up the coast, the water on my right and Lex’s threat on my left. “Sad I’m going to miss the competition. You know how much I love supporting my brother.”
I scoffed. “You love using him.”
Lex’s hand came out of nowhere. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and slammed my head against the dashboard. I felt a snap in my skull, and blood poured from my nose as pain bloomed across my cheeks. My eyes watered, and a cry of pain tore out of my mouth. “Don’t fucking test me. I’m a nice guy, Breeze. I don’t want to cause you pain. But I will. I’ll break every bone in your body and fuck your limp form while you cry out for help. I’ll do all of that without an ounce of remorse.”
I moaned while holding my head in my hands, his words making a chill travel up my spine. I couldn’t help but feel like I wouldn’t get out of this alive. Why was he after me? Was Lex seriously so deranged that he didn’t need a motive to craft chaos?
He continued to drive, occasionally glancing at me with his dagger stare. Blood poured from my nose as my stomach convulsed with nausea. My head pounded like feet on sand. Running. Throbbing. Damning.
We pulled up to a large house on the shore. It was easily three stories, painted a crisp white that invited light and warmth. The shutters were a navy blue, and the lawn was meticulously groomed. “Like it? The owners are never here. The security system was a little tricky, but it makes for a great hideout.”
I swallowed. Lex got out of the truck and circled it. He aimed the gun at me through the window, and I tentatively opened the door. “What are we doing here?” I whimpered. Salty tears streaked down my cheeks, mixing with the blood. An icy realization settled in my bones. It was a deafening acceptance. A roar that this was it: Lex was going to kill me. I couldn’t help but wonder if Violet had this moment. Did she know she was going to die? Or did she blindly hope up until the end?
Lex shoved me inside. I looked around for anything that could help me. The home was chic and decorated with cheesy beach house finds. A sign saying Surfs Up was hanging on the wall. The chairs were leather. The kitchen was large. Lex pulled up a wooden chair and instructed me to sit. The moment my ass hit the wood, I started to tremble and shake. “Please don’t do this,” I cried out.
“Shut the fuck up,” Lex yelled before pulling out a roll of duct tape and rope. He quickly tied me up. I knew there was no escaping him. The rough material cut into my wrists and ankles. Parts of the blood had dried on my chin and chest. The pain in my head was replaced with the temporary relief of adrenaline. I needed to get out of here. I needed to run. The gun Lex clutched mocked me as he put a strip of tape over my mouth. It was hard to breathe through my nose. Thick wet blood clung to my face. Only snippets of air could blow in and out, and I had to force myself not to panic. I needed to breathe in and out. Slowly. Steadily. I couldn’t afford to freak out.
Lex smiled at his handiwork, chuckling as he went to the kitchen to make a sandwich. I noticed my blood on his hands. “Sit tight, Breeze. The real fun starts tonight.”
Why was he doing this? What did he want with me? I didn’t understand, and fear had crippled my mind. Was there more that we missed?
It was dark when Lex moved me again. My head ached fiercely. My body was cold, and my nose burned with pain. He didn’t speak. He simply sliced through the restraints on my ankles, freeing me from the chair. He pointed the gun at my skull, urging me toward the door. He left my arms tied, making it difficult to get in his truck. I struggled to breathe against my bound mouth as he wordlessly drove. I wanted to know where he was taking me. What he was doing. What was he going to do to me? If he was going to kill me, why not just get it over with?
The late night moon shined overhead. I didn’t know what time it was, but based on the lack of cars on the road, I figured it was late. Lex pulled onto a section of the beach that was abandoned. There was nothing here except for the Surf Shack. Despite its name, it was anything but a shack. It was practically brand new and had almost put our surf shop out of business when it opened a year ago. It was the reason our shop had struggled ever since. What were we doing here?
“Get out,” Lex ordered.
I managed to work the handle, despite my shaking, tied up hands and got out of the truck. He motioned with the gun that I should walk in front of him to the shop. My knees locked, not wanting to let my legs carry me inside. I managed to make them move stiffly, one foot in front of the other. When we made it to the front door, Lex slipped in a key and turned the knob. Why did he have a key? Did he steal it?
He closed the door and locked it behind him. He didn’t bother flipping on the lights, and guided me through the darkness. With one hand grasping my arm, Lex led me to the back office. He sat me on a chair and got to work binding me to it.
“There, nice and comfy,” he mocked me.
Lex crouched down in front of me so that he was eye level. He looked at my nose, admiring his handiwork. He reached out with one finger and pressed it into the bridge, sending a shockwave of fresh pain all the way down my spine. My scream was muffled by the layer of duct tape that was bound so tightly it cut into my skin.
Satisfied with my pain, Lex stood back up and left the office. I couldn’t do anything but cry, and even that hurt. My tears carved winding trails into
the blood that had dried on my cheeks. Even though it was a warm night, my body was cold. I shivered against the restraints, feeling the jerky movements in the shards of broken bones in my nose.
I could hear Lex’s muffled voice in the other room; he must have been talking to someone on the phone. I had no doubt that Lex would keep his promise to break every bone in my body unless I could give him what he wanted and make this end. But I had no idea what he wanted. He hadn’t said much aside from threatening me. The thought crossed my mind that he was just a psychopath who enjoyed inflicting pain. But if that were the case, I had no hope, so I chose to believe that I had some power to get myself out of this.
Lex came back into the room. He was smiling, and I knew that was not going to be good for me. I fought the hysteria bubbling up in my throat and focused on keeping my breathing calm and steady. If I couldn’t control my breathing, I would suffocate and save Lex the trouble.
Lex ripped the tape from my lips, and I cried out in agony. It stung. It burned. I should have screamed, but I was afraid what Lex would do if I did.
“Did you hear about Daddy Dearest?” he asked, still smiling maniacally.
“No. I don’t pay attention to people that are dead to me.”
“I was surprised your dad had the balls to go through with it,” Lex said as he cocked his head to the side. “Did you know that he’s looking to do a plea bargain? He wants to spill my secrets to the DA.” Good, was my first thought. I knew Lex was involved in this somehow. “I don’t think he has enough evidence to do much. It’s one thing to suggest the murder, another thing entirely to actually watch the life drain from someone’s eyes. I’ll be honest, I didn’t think the pussy had it in him, but boy was I surprised when he called me. Brian Shirley was crying like a little bitch when he told me it was done.”
