by Toni Leland
“Let me know if this gets too tight. I wanna make sure we get it right this time. . .I caught some flak for the last one.”
A motor hummed and the upper plate of the machine began to descend, connecting with Jess’s soft flesh, pressing it hard against the bottom plate. Her eyes teared and she clenched her jaw.
“Take a deep breath and don’t move.”
Frozen into the frightening moment, her thoughts raced. What if she did have cancer? What would her future hold?
The pressure released, and the technician touched her shoulder. “You can put the gown back on, but wait in the dressing room ’til I check the film.”
Alone again with her thoughts, self-pity moved through Jess’s mind. She had no family, no close friends, other than Faith. No one to miss her if she died. The thought stung like a slap, and she straightened up on the bench and angrily squared her shoulders. She would not get all worked up before she had a reason.
The curtain parted and the technician’s round face peeked in.
“You can get dressed. The doctor will call you after the radiologist reads the film.”
Jess didn’t feel like returning to the farm right away, so she headed north along the Farmington River. The heavily populated urban areas of Hartford and New Britain sprawled in all directions. Connecticut’s close proximity to New York City kept the economy booming, and the residents well-heeled, but within a few miles of those outer edges of humanity, the countryside changed to dense forest and rolling hills. Small pockets of poverty still nestled in these rural areas, evidenced by the occasional small run-down farm, or house trailer in an overgrown yard filled with rusted cars and trucks.
She followed the winding road through the country, and finally pulled into a small picnic site beside the Nepaug Reservoir. Beneath the shady canopy of oak trees, she gazed at the sunlight reflecting off the water, and wondered about the future.
Two hours later, Jess strode through the entrance to the casino, and scanned the sea of gamblers, searching for Elvora’s pleasant brown face. As if by ESP, the casino manager appeared beside her.
“Good afternoon, Jessica. Here for the night?”
“Not this time–actually, I came to see you.”
Elvora’s brown eyes twinkled. “I’m listenin’.”
“You said you could get me into a high-stakes poker game, a private one.”
“What a coincidence. . .I’m putting together a game for the weekend after next. You’d be a good addition.”
Jess hesitated. The game would almost coincide with Frank’s deadline. She’d be cutting it close.
“Would you arrange that for me?”
“Sure, honey. Give me a call at the end of the week, and I’ll set you up with the details.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
Elvora smiled. “I don’t mean to get personal, but for this game, you might want to dress up a little bit.” She winked. “And try a little makeup. I think you’ll feel more at ease with the other players in the group.”
Jess’s idea of dressing up consisted of good black slacks and a clean blouse. She cocked her head. “You mean, a dress?”
“Yup, preferably something classy. These are very wealthy folks.”
“Okay, if you say so.”
Jess moved across the casino floor, shaking her head. Irritation replaced perplexity. What did her appearance have to do with how well she played cards? She passed a small cocktail lounge, and someone laughed loudly. After a cursory glance, she did a double-take, and stopped to stare. Anger roiled through her chest. In a corner booth, Faith’s boyfriend held hands with a young blonde woman.
Without a thought of whether she had any right, Jess strode up to the couple, and laced her arms across her chest.
“Well, I see it didn’t take you long to get over Faith!”
Bill looked startled, then his smooth personality kicked in. “Excuse me, but is that any of your concern?”
Jess relaxed her stance a little. “Yes, it is. She’s a shambles.”
He looked away. “You got that right.”
His companion rose and excused herself, saying she’d be back in a minute.
Bill scowled up at Jess. “You have a helluva lot of nerve, you know.”
“Bill, what happened? You guys were doing so well.”
His brusque manner faded, and a glimmer of sorrow passed through his eyes.
“I love her more than anything in the world. I wanted to have a future, a family, but apparently she doesn’t want the same things. I can’t spend my life waiting for her to climb out of a vodka bottle.”
Chapter 13
By the time Jess arrived at the Eastern States Exposition Center the following day, the exhibitor parking lot was jammed with trucks, trailers, campers, and cars. The huge fairground was home to hundreds of events every year, and horse shows filled a large portion of the schedule from April through September. Animal barns, outdoor arenas, exhibition buildings, and a huge coliseum sprawled over a hundred and seventy-five acres. The background clamor of neighing horses, shouts and laughter, the muffled public address system, and muted music filled her with the familiar excitement of competition.
The Easton stalls were located in the large barn close to the coliseum. As Jess approached, Beth and Lexie were leading their horses toward the practice ring, their young voices bubbling with enthusiasm. Jess smiled. Nothing ever really changes in this business.
Faith stood in the grooming stall with Dania.
“Oh, good! You’re here. The bedding order got fouled up and I’m short. Would you go over and take care of it?”
“Sure.” Jess looked at Dania. “Are you excited about your first real show?”
The girl’s face glowed, bringing out her youthful beauty. “Yes!” Her expression instantly clouded. “But I wanted to ride Buster.”
Faith chuckled. “Dania, you need to spend some time getting used to him before you ride him in a show.” She gave Jess a pointed look. “We need to talk.”
Jess’s stomach jigged. “I’ll go take care of the bedding.”
Hurrying across the grounds to the show office, she tried to calm her jittery pulse. This Buster-thing could get her into real trouble.
Twelve little girls composed Dania’s hunter class. Jess stood beside Faith at the rail as they watched each rider go through the course. Dania made her warm-up approach to the first obstacle, and Jess held her breath as the small girl guided the pony through the course. Faith exhaled sharply as Dania finished and trotted through the out-gate.
“I’m telling you, Jess, she is so good. If her parents would allow it, she could go on to become a national champion, compete at Rolex–maybe even train for the Olympics.”
Jess chuckled at Faith’s enthusiasm and confidence in her students. Dania wasn’t the first Easton Ridge rider who’d been groomed for bigger things.
The background noises faded and Jess gazed at the scene, feeling like an invisible spectator. How would she make it through the day? Through the week? Doctor Frame’s words echoed through her head, and her throat tightened. The cloudy mass on the x-ray was no technician’s error and, though the doctor was optimistic, Jess shivered at the looming prospect of a biopsy the coming week. Until then, she’d have to wrestle the demons in her brain and the pain in her heart.
Life’s a bitch, and then you die. Her pulse skipped. This wasn’t amusing. What had she done to deserve all this trouble? Anger replaced the fear. Not a damned thing, and if anything else went wrong in her life, she’d be doing chores on the funny farm.
Howard London’s handsome face drifted into her thoughts and she closed her eyes. If she got through this alive, she’d make a trip to Idaho. Time to get a life.
She pushed away the morbid thoughts and scanned the grandstand, looking for the Mahfoods. The two Middle Easterners stood out against the background of pale spectators surrounding them, and Jess wondered if they felt out of place. Then she remembered Zada’s terse comments about America. I suspect th
ey are painfully aware of the emotions running high in this country.
Faith whooped loudly and waved her arms. “Go, Dania!”
The child trotted her horse over to the ring steward to accept a third place ribbon. She flashed a beautiful smile up at her parents and, at that moment, she was just another little girl in love with horses.
Twenty minutes later, Jess listened to Dania’s affectionate conversation with her pony as she wiped sweat from the saddle area. The scene reminded Jess of her own first time in the ring.
Faith’s low voice pierced the nostalgic moment. “Follow me. I want to ask you something.”
Uh-oh, here it comes.
They moved out of earshot of the students.
“Naomi called last night and wanted to know when she’d get the down-payment on Buster.”
The challenge hung in the air, and Jess’s heartbeat skipped.
“I deposited the cash, and meant to write a check, then I got really busy and plumb forgot about it. I’ll do it as soon as I get home.” She smiled confidently. “She’s not worried, is she?”
“No, but Dania is, and I suspect the next thing will be Mama Mahfood breathing down my neck. I’m telling you, Jess, that humble act beneath the headscarf is really phony–why do the men make them wear those things, anyway?”
“Faith, the men don’t have anything to do with it. Muslim women cover their hair as an act of faith. The scarf is called a hijaab, and is not required.” She touched Faith’s arm. “These are normal people, just like you and me.”
Faith shrugged and looked away. “I suppose, but I can’t help it.” Her gaze snapped back and a frown creased her forehead. “Since when do you know so much about Muslims?”
“When the Mahfoods first came to the barn, I thought it might help to know a little bit about their culture. I did some research on the internet.”
Faith gave her a blank look. “Hmph. Oh, by the way, we have a new stall cleaner.”
Jess jammed her fists onto her hips and glowered.
“What’s the matter with you? We just let everyone go ’cause we can’t pay them.”
Faith glared back. “If you’ll let me finish? This woman wants riding lessons, but doesn’t have the money, so she offered to trade work for them. Her name’s Mona Johnson, and she lives just down the road. She can come in every morning for a couple of hours.”
Jess felt foolish. “Oh. Sorry.”
“I hope you get over your bad temper soon. We’re into serious show season, and I could use your help.” Faith stepped up close. “Are you sure you’re okay? I mean, really?”
Her sad expression made Jess feel like a rebellious child rejecting genuine concern.
“I’m fine.”
Her abrupt tone hit its target, and Faith’s sympathetic expression disappeared. She nodded curtly, then walked back toward the stalls. Jess watched her for a moment, pain clamping down on her throat. Why couldn’t she open up and let Faith in?
Thinking about her imminent shopping trip, Jess watched the cars and trucks weave through the growing traffic. She knew she wasn’t glamorous, but it had never bothered her. In the past, when she and Faith had attended the fancy post-Brandford parties, she’d pulled out a dated black dress from the back of her closet, and called it good. Now, recalling the expensive attire of the other women at those events, she grimaced. She’d probably looked about as appealing as a teen-aged boy dressed up in one of his father’s old suits.
I’ll stop in West Hartford, see if I can find something suitable. She shook her head, amazed she was even considering such an idea. A shopper, she was not. She pulled into the Westfarms Mall and stared at the entrance to the Ann Taylor store. Prepare for battle.
Chapter 14
Jess accelerated and moved into the thickening commuter traffic, then turned on the CD player. Easy jazz surrounded her, and she leaned back in her seat to think about the future, whatever it might be. Howard’s tan face and dazzling smile jumped into her thoughts, and her pulse skittered. Suppose, when this was all over, she pursued a relationship with him? She could easily control it, given the geographical distance between them. The daydream moved to long walks in the woods, romantic nights in front of a fire, steamy sex under–
A piercing wail suddenly battled with the smooth notes of a saxophone. She looked in the rearview mirror and her stomach twitched. Damn! Behind her, state patrol headlights flashed blindingly. She glanced at the speedometer, took a deep breath, and steered the car to the side of the highway. In the rearview mirror, she watched the trooper get out of his car. He was young and slim, and his uniform shirt molded perfectly to his chest. He settled the distinctive wide-brimmed hat carefully over his blonde crewcut, then started toward her.
His blue eyes were friendly. “Afternoon, Miss. May I see your license and registration?”
Up close, he wasn’t as young as she’d thought.
“Was I speeding, Officer?”
He grinned. “I don’t know. . .were you?”
She laughed. “I don’t think so.”
“Are you aware that one of your turn-signal lights isn’t working?”
He stopped me for a burned-out taillight?
She shook her head. “No. I wonder when that happened.”
“I’ll be back in a minute. Please stay in the car.”
A few minutes later, he reappeared and handed her papers through the window.
He had a nice smile. “I’m not gonna cite you, but you do need to get that light fixed.”
She glanced at his nametag. “Thank you, Officer Carter. I’ll do that as soon as I get home.”
His gaze drifted to the jumble of bridles on the passenger seat, and his expression brightened. “You have horses?”
“I own a riding stable. I’m on my way home from a show.”
The trooper relaxed onto his elbows, settling in for a chat. “You know, my little girl wants to take lessons. We’ve been thinking about it. . .Where’s your place?”
“In Whigville.”
“Hey, you’re right in my neighborhood. We live in Canton. You have any openings? Maybe I’ll drop by some weekend, let Kristy watch a lesson.”
“That’s a good idea. Easton Ridge Equestrian Center on Easton Road. You can’t miss it.”
Trooper Carter straightened up and thumped his knuckles twice against the car door. “Well, Miss Rayder, you have a nice day. And don’t forget that taillight.”
Jess entered the barn and sprinted for the phone.
“Jessica? Howard London from Idaho. Remember me?”
A shock of pleasure careened through her chest. Do I ever.
“Yes, of course I remember you. What a nice surprise. How are you?”
“I’m good. Business is hectic, but that’s normal this time of year. How about you? Keeping all those little girls happy?”
Jess laughed, surprised at her pleasure in hearing his voice. She’d often wondered if she’d ever see him again.
“Oh, yes–it’s the way we keep our pocketbooks filled.”
His wonderful deep laugh boomed through the receiver. “Well, surprise–I’m calling from Hartford.”
Her stomach jumped, and prickles of anticipation crawled over her skin. “What are you doing there?”
“I had some business to take care of in New York. I really love the great outdoors, but I’m a city boy, at heart. Sometimes I just have to get back to the chaos of the bright lights to remind me how lucky I am to be away from it.” He laughed. “Isn’t that absurd? Anyway, I thought I’d hit the casino before I head back to the wilds. Wondered if you might join me for dinner Saturday night.”
Five minutes later, Jess hung up the phone, feeling like a schoolgirl with her first prom date.
Jess slid the barn door closed, and started toward the house, a new bounce in her step. A familiar black Mercedes turned onto the lane, and she halted in mid-stride, irritation spoiling her happy mood.
Samir honked and pulled over. He grinned as he climbed out of the car.
“See? I didn’t frighten you this time.”
She smiled thinly. “What’s up, Samir? I’m really beat.”
“Yes, I’m sure you are, but I want to discuss something important.”
“Could it wait until tomorrow?”
His smile faded. “No, I think time is not on your side.”
Something in his tone sent fear through her chest. “What do you mean?”
He gestured toward the barn. “Could we go inside to talk?”
She turned and retraced her steps, uncomfortably aware of the man beside her. Maybe he wanted to talk about Dania’s new horse. She could bluff this one–no problem.
A minute later, he leaned forward in the chair. “I know you are having financial problems here, and I would like to help.”
Jess bristled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re doing quite well.”
“Jessica, I have been in business a long time. I see the signs.” He waved a hand expansively. “Surely, you do not want to lose all this.”
How could he possibly know anything about the farm’s finances? She refocused on his words.
“I do not want you to lose it, either. My Dania and Zada are so happy to come here, and I enjoy being here, as well.”
“We’re not going–”
He held up a hand. “Let me help you. I have an idea.”
She sank back into the chair to listen.
“Two of my nephews are attending college here in the United States. They will return to Yemen in the fall, but they need something to do until then. If they came to work for you for the next two months, that would help, yes?”
“Samir, you don’t understand. I can’t afford–”
He raised his hand again. “I will pay their wages. I want to help.” He chuckled. “Besides, they need something to keep them occupied, and I think I am not cut out for the country life, after all. My nephews will be more suitable.”
Jess’s brain slipped into gear. More foreigners. Faith will go ballistic.
“That’s very generous of you, and we can certainly use the help.”
