by Naomi Niles
“Yes,” I whispered, feeling all kinds of fear fluttering though me. We had a long moment of connection, both staring into each other’s eyes, before he finally broke eye contact and stood up. There was no denying the disappointment that filled me as he moved away, but I knew that it was the right thing to do. What did I expect to happen? Another kiss? There was no chance of that.
Ever again.
Ever.
“Okay, well, I’ll see you in the morning then.” He shot me a weak smile. “I’ll knock on your door–make sure you’re ready.”
“I will be.” And, I didn’t stop staring until he clicked the door behind him.
Long after I scattered the still unwritten wedding place cards to the floor, I lay back down on my bed trying to plan how I wanted the next day to go.
I basically found myself with one major dilemma–should I tell Rhett about the pregnancy or not? It would likely be my one and only chance, but would it be the right decision for the both of us?
He deserved to know, I was aware of that. I knew that this child was as much his as mine, but it wasn’t as if we’d been in a committed relationship. We had basically had the equivalent of a one-night stand, and now we could never go back there because we were about to become a family. It was more messed up than anything else, which was the exact reason I couldn’t tell him.
I should, but I couldn’t.
But the more I considered it, the worse I felt about it all. I wasn’t sure that I could actually go through with telling Rhett and threaten everything. I really didn’t want to ruin Mom’s happiness and the wedding, so yet again, I found myself taking the coward’s way out and deciding to keep the unborn child to myself.
I wanted to keep my relationship with my mom as it was, and I wanted to keep my relationship with Rhett on the level that it was. I didn’t want to detonate the bomb that could blow all of that apart.
Chapter 18
Rhett
I could barely sleep all night from the excitement at the prospect of spending more alone time with Danica. I’d been feeling really down about the whole thing, but after speaking to her, I could clearly see that there was a glimmer of hope there, and that it was just the horrible situation surrounding us that had her anxious. That was fair enough; I could totally understand that, but I couldn’t help but hope that some time away from the crazy family stuff would help us to get back to what we’d once been.
There was no denying that I hoped we could really get back to how we’d been at Camp Woodtree, but I wasn’t sure what was going through her mind. I wasn’t sure if things between us would be completely off the table now, considering we were about to become some sort of screwed up family.
Of course, I knew how wrong it was wrong to be thinking about Danica in that way now that we knew the truth about our family bond, but I just couldn’t help it. There had been something magical between us during that special week at Camp Woodtree, and I just couldn’t shake that no matter how hard I tried.
We really had a strong connection and that intense chemistry helped, too. There was something between us that I’d never felt with anyone before in my entire life, and that was very difficult to just ignore, to just pretend wasn’t there. I’d never felt this way about any of my romantic connections before, and it didn’t feel right to just forgo that because of everything else surrounding us.
It didn’t feel fair.
I wanted to explore what we could become. I wanted to be with Danica, despite everything else. It might be taboo, and a little crazy, but I couldn’t help the way that I felt.
It was difficult that I didn’t know how she felt at all, but I hoped that our day out would allow me to shed some light on that.
To be perfectly honest, I didn’t think Lyla and my dad would go the distance anyway. I knew that they were getting married in a couple of days, but I still didn’t think that they would last. I assumed they would be divorced within the first year.
Although I hadn't managed to find anything incriminating about my dad yet, I still assumed that he would fuck up sooner or later, and everything would implode. I didn’t want to lose Danica over a relationship that I didn’t think would survive.
We could go the distance…they wouldn’t.
I wanted Danica to feel like she could properly open up to me anyway because it didn’t really seem like she’d had anyone else to unload upon during the wedding planning. She’d obviously had a whole load of pressure put on her shoulders, and no one to share the burden with. I could tell that there was a lot troubling her, and I wanted to be able to comfort her. I didn’t like the prospect of so much upsetting her, and not being able to do anything about it didn’t seem right.
I supposed we could just be friends, although I wasn’t totally sure that I’d be able to cope with that. I tried to imagine us hanging out with only friendship in mind, but it physically hurt my heart to do so. I knew if that was the case, then sooner or later I’d have to see her move on with someone else, and I knew for a fact that I wouldn’t be able to stand that.
Although, after all of this was over I would be back home anyway, and I might never have to see her again. Sure, we would both be at college near one another, but we wouldn’t be close enough to have to see one another. If there was no chance of us being together, there would be no point.
Urgh. I was driving myself insane, going round and round in circles, with no real conclusion. I couldn’t make any decisions without Danica’s input anyway, so I was going to have to wait.
Wait and sleep.
But my brain wouldn’t switch off.
I lay in bed tossing and turning for hours, before I eventually tumbled into a fitful nap.
In the end, I got up before my alarm even went off. My mind was buzzing with anticipation anyway, so there was no way that I could just lay there waiting for that beep. I was tired and anxious, but also a little excited, too. At least I would be able to find out what was happening. There was no denying that everything would be better once I knew exactly what the future held.
I wanted to be sure that I had everything packed. This could be my one and only shot to get Danica alone again, and I wanted the day to be perfect, so I could use the extra time to prepare properly. Usually I tossed my belongings in a backpack at the very last second, but this was no ordinary day.
“Swimwear, towels, sunscreen…” I muttered to myself, carefully placing everything into my bag, before another idea hit me.
A picnic! I should pack some food and drink for the trip. A picnic would be the perfect addition to this day. I raced down the stairs and into the kitchen to see what I could grab, my heart fluttering with happiness at my genius plan.
As my eyes scanned through the fridge, I felt a presence behind me, and I couldn’t help but smile to myself. It seemed like Danica was just as excited as me, and that she couldn’t wait to get going, either. I spun around to see her, but instead found myself faced with the last person on the planet that I wanted to talk to–especially this early in the morning. He wasn’t the sort of man that I could face without coffee in my system.
“Dad,” I said sadly, not doing a great job of hiding my disappointment. “What are you doing up so early?”
“I’m going to work,” his tone was cold and suspicious, which made my hackles rise. How dare he act like that around me–he was the one with things to hide, not me. Well, not really, anyway. “What are you doing?”
“Getting ready to go out,” I said evasively, hoping that he would just leave it at that.
“Where? With whom? You don’t know anyone here, do you?”
Of course not! It seemed that my dad wasn’t the sort of man to leave something alone when he smelt a rat. My heart pounded anxiously as I tried to decide what to do next. But then I figured to hell with him, we certainly weren’t doing anything wrong. There was no point in lying.
“Danica and I are going out for the day,” I stared at him defiantly, and he refused to break eye contact for a few moments. “Kayaking in D
elaware.” I suddenly felt like I couldn’t stop talking, and I found that I was explaining myself. “I thought it would be a good idea to get to know each other, and to get away from the wedding madness. She’s been getting a little stressed out with it all.”
“Hmmm…” he replied, disapprovingly. “I see.”
Rage boiled in my stomach as he gave me a look that I really didn’t like. How dare he feel like he can have an opinion on my life? That was so fucking out of order. He’d never been around, so he couldn’t come in now when I was an adult and have a view.
“What’s the harm in getting to know my new stepsister?” I snapped, hating how petty I sounded, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. It was as if he’d turned me back into a petulant teenager–which was ironic really, since he was nowhere to be seen during my teen years.
“Yeah, right,” he sent me a smirk. “You’re just like your old man, you.”
What?!
What the hell was he suggesting? That I was like him? No fucking way. He was a douche bag who only cared about himself. I couldn’t be more different to him if he tried.
“I assure you,” I replied through gritted teeth. “I am nothing like you.” He boomed out with laughter, which caused a red mist to descend over my eyes. “I’ve spent my whole life working to become the complete opposite to you.”
A million expletives ran through my mind, but I forced myself to keep them inside. As angry as I was, it was much better that I kept at least some peace–I didn’t want to be forced away from Danica at this stage, when she’d only just started talking to me again.
“Okay, son, anything you say.” I held my fists tightly together, trying my best not to lash out. I could feel myself taking deep breaths, but they weren’t calming my down at all. “We’ll all see soon enough, anyway.”
And then he walked from the room, leaving me to stew in my anger. I couldn’t believe how bad he’d made me feel with just a few short words. How the hell did he manage to have so much power over me? It wasn’t fair. How dare he make any kind of fucking judgment on my behavior when he was the worst kind of human being on the planet? It wasn’t right.
I was so filled with rage that I didn’t even know where to put myself. I wanted to run away, to punch every surface I could find, and to scream and yell all at once. But I couldn’t do any of those things, not if I wanted to prove him wrong.
Just let it go, I tried to tell myself, think of the day ahead. Focus on you and Danica, instead.
I got my phone out, just to look at the photograph of Danica on my screen in the hope that her face would make me feel better. Her shining eyes and beauty went some way to calming me down, but it was still there stewing its way inside of me, like a nasty, vicious virus that I couldn’t shake.
“You’re just like your old man, you.”
How the hell could he even say that? I didn’t really know him, and he certainly didn’t know me, so what was he trying to suggest? Was he hinting that I intended to seduce Danica? That was certainly the impression I got from his words.
Okay, admittedly there was an element of guilt that I wasn’t being totally honest with him on that front, but that didn’t make me like him. I met Danica before; I liked her so damn much that I could easily fall fully in love with her. She wasn’t just some bimbo that I wanted to screw, it was nothing like that at all.
I would never, ever be like him.
I fucking hated his guts.
“Right,” I muttered to myself. “It’s time.”
As I trudged up the stairs, I tried desperately to shake my black mood, but it was hard. All the excited energy that I’d been feeling the previous night and this morning had been replaced by a weird anger–one that didn’t feel like it would ever go.
My fucking dad was an asshole. I hated him with a passion. Apart from getting to see Danica again, I wished that I never came here.
Knock, knock.
It wasn’t until Danica’s face peeped around the door, that I actually managed to push all of that aside and focus on just her. A photograph wasn’t enough, but the real thing was enough to overcome any negative emotion. When I was by her side, I could feel the intensity of that connection again, and somehow that managed to make everything okay again.
“Are you ready to go?” I smiled. Even with no makeup on, and her hair hanging naturally down her back, she was the most beautiful woman that I’d ever laid my eyes upon.
There was no way I could let her go, not for anyone in the world.
Especially not for him.
Chapter 19
Danica
“Oh my God, you were amazing!” Rhett declared, sounding genuinely shocked by my kayaking abilities. Had he not been there at Camp Woodtree? Had I not beaten him on more than one occasion? There was absolutely no reason for him to be so stunned now!
“I wish that I could say the same about you,” I laughed, clearly joking. He was brilliant, but I was enjoying having some of our banter back, and I couldn’t resist winding him up.
“Yeah, yeah,” he shoved me playfully, and as soon as his hands touched my arms, the sparks shot back through me. From the way that Rhett jumped away as if he’d been electrocuted; he could feel it, too.
Uh oh!
I shot him a smile, trying to dispel some of the awkwardness, but it was back with a vengeance. This trying to be friends when there were clearly so many emotions flowing between us was not going too well. It was as if there was a massive elephant in the room, and neither of us were ready to address it.
Aside from that, the day had been absolutely magical–a welcome break from the rest of my insane summer which had been plagued solely by a wedding that wasn’t even mine. The weather was bright and cheerful, the water had been perfect for kayaking, and we’d even seen some awesome wildlife to top everything off.
For me, it had been the perfect date.
Not that this was a date, of course.
Urgh, I really wished this was a date!
“Shall we have some lunch?” Rhett asked, changing the subject drastically. “I packed a picnic for us.”
At the mere mention of food, my stomach started to rumble and I realized just how hungry I was. “That sounds great,” I grinned enthusiastically. “Thanks.” I felt touched by the effort that Rhett had gone to, making this an amazing day, and the fact that he’d even bothered to pack some food didn’t go amiss.
“Okay great,” he started to scan his eyes along the sandbank. “If I remember rightly, there’s a really nice picnic spot along here.”
I followed behind him closely, suddenly wondering if he’d ever taken another girl along here to eat. The pit of unwelcome jealousy started to eat me alive, which I knew was very wrong. If we were going to be stepbrother and stepsister, then seeing each other with other people was inevitable.
I knew that, so why did it hurt so badly?
“Here,” he suddenly announced, dragging my attention back to him. As I glanced up, I found myself in a gorgeous, secluded like area, surrounded by trees, with a small gap revealing the river. It was absolutely amazing, and exactly what I needed.
“Wow,” I gasped, sitting down on the warm ground. “This is lovely.”
“I came here a couple of time with my friend James,” he said casually, whist unpacking the awesome food that he’d brought with him. I couldn’t help feeling glad that he’d not been here with a date before; that would have been too weird for words. “When we were kayaking or hiking.”
“Yeah?” I asked, intrigued to find out more about him. “That must have been fun.”
As he told me some more about his childhood, and we tucked into some incredible sandwiches, I found myself becoming mesmerized by his eyes once more. Maybe this was too soon, maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to hang out with Rhett until I was fully over him, but at the same time, I was so glad to be there.
I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster, one with no end.
“Are you okay?” Rhett eventually turned more serious, and the
imploring look he gave me had me wanting to open up.
“Honestly?” I asked. “Not really. I don’t feel like anything is right about our situation.”
He looked down at his shoes, sadness filling his expression. “I know, it’s very…complicated, isn’t it?”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to. We both knew that we were in a mess.
“Is that all?” He continued, causing my heart to thump loudly. As I glanced back up, he was staring right at me as if he could see right through me, as if he knew that I was holding something back from him. Did he know about the baby? Is that what he was referring to? I knew it was impossible because I hadn't told a soul, but that didn’t stop me from panicking all the same.
Then, my body did something crazy, something that I’d promised myself I wouldn’t. Instead of making a decision about the right thing to say, I leant forward and I kissed Rhett passionately on the mouth.
At first, he seemed too stunned to even consider resisting or reacting, but after a few moments, a lusty haze overtook us both, and he placed his hands on the back of my neck, pulling me in for a deeper kiss. As our lips moved together in harmony, everything else in the rest of the world seemed to melt away, and all I could think about was me and him.
Rhett started to crawl over me, pushing me back into a lying position, and I didn’t even consider stopping him. Sure, this was taboo and very wrong, and yes we were outside in public where we could get caught at any moment, but somehow that made it all even better. It made my anticipation and excitement levels even higher.
The stakes were so high, which made this ever more passionate.
After a few moments, he pulled back to look at me, resting his forehead against mine. Something about his intense gaze had me stopping, just waiting under his scrutinizing stare. I could tell that he was drinking me all in, and I liked that. I’d never felt so wanted by anyone in my entire life before, and there was something very intoxicating about that.
