by Taylor Hart
“And he took his shirt off?”
“No,” she sputtered. “I asked him to show me and he did.”
“Oh dear.”
“I know, it’s bad date protocol, okay? Shut it.”
Savannah started walking again. “Okay.”
There was a pause. “Sav …”
“Yeah.”
“Will you come home now? I miss you too much.”
It was in these sincere moments, Savannah felt herself weaken because she missed her too. “I can’t, you know that.”
Beth sighed. “Haven’t you found yourself yet? Or whatever you needed to do? It’s been almost a year. You learned to surf.”
The question made her self-reflect. Had she found herself? Did she even know what that meant for her? “I tried to surf, turns out it’s harder than it looks.”
“Guess what?” Beth asked.
“What?”
“Baby Lincoln is doing really well. A couple of the other nurses and I went to see him yesterday.”
Savannah’s heart warmed. “That’s good news.”
“Yes. He has a couple lined up to adopt him, too.”
Tears pushed behind her eyes and a slight pang of jealousy pulsed through her. “That’s great.” Her eyes fluttered.
“It makes ya think, doesn’t it?”
“About what?”
“Maybe everyone can start over.”
Savannah hesitated, knowing this would be a ploy for Beth to work in one of her talks about how Savannah should come home again. “Hmm.”
“I think Lincoln proves it.”
She got to the top of the hill she was on and watched the sun pour out across the land. She thought of Lincoln’s face. “Okay, you win.”
“That’s what I like to hear. Okay, so the staff at Primary Children’s are having a goodbye party send-off for him in two days. They want you to come.”
“No,” she said quickly.
Beth sighed. “Are you okay?”
All she could think about was Lincoln’s cute face, and she smiled. “I’m fine.” She thought about two parents taking a baby home and loving that baby. “More than fine.”
“Well, I told the staff I would let you know.”
“Thanks.”
“Savannah …”
“Yeah?”
“I ran into Nick the other day and he told me Luke is home. And he’s by himself.”
Her heart picked up speed. “That doesn’t concern me.”
“Savannah, I’m sorry, but you need to forgive yourself and get home … for all of us.”
Savannah gazed into the distance. Words hung just out of reach.
“ Everyone’s hurting because you’re staying away. Me. Mom and Dad. You. And now you won’t even come to baby Lincoln’s party? That’s just selfish. Not to mention Luke. You think he’s better without you. But you don’t get … there is no without you. Can you honestly tell me there’s not a day that goes by you don’t think of him? Can you?”
Savannah held the blue glass in her hand.
“That’s what I thought.” Beth said softly. “Well, I … gotta go. Love you.”
“Love you too,” she managed to sputter out.
The line went dead, and Savannah put her phone to her side. She stared at the sun and felt the glass in her hand.
She saw his face. Luke’s ice-blue eyes shone with an intensity she knew could move mountains if he decided it. Man, she missed him.
Her father’s T.S. Elliot quote ran through her mind. “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” And then she understood it more than she ever had.
Beth was right.
It was time to go home.
33
Luke didn’t know what to expect when he walked into Primary Children’s Hospital with his brothers for Lincoln’s party, but he had no idea there would be press, a huge cake, and what appeared to be every nurse in the hospital.
As they entered the room, the crowd called out, “Hip, hip, hooray!” Some streamers were thrown in the air and cameras flashed, taking pictures.
“Didn’t realize it was a show,” Luke said to Nick.
“I didn’t either.”
Luke turned to Damon, who grumbled, “I hate these things.”
Luke grinned, despite the fact he hadn’t wanted this kind of attention. It was nice to be back home with his brothers.
It was perfect to hold baby Lincoln. Both of his brothers took a turn holding him, all of them making goofy faces and laughing with Lincoln.
Luke spotted Savannah’s sister with a group of nurses. Their eyes caught, and she smiled at him.
After he’d shaken a bunch of hands and met Lincoln’s parents, who seemed like the most delighted couple in the world, he was feeling good. Really good.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw her. At least, he thought it was her, but he’d trained himself not to look, not to be too jumpy about it. He always saw her, at stores, markets, on ships, planes … He felt like he was always on the lookout for her in the unconscious of his mind.
Maybe it was her. This was baby Lincoln’s party, after all.
It wasn’t, though. Just a redhead. She was pretty and she smiled at him and winked, but he turned away.
Nick nudged him. “Dude, she winked at you.”
“So?” He moved to the snack table and grabbed a bottle of water, then chugged it back.
“Who winked at him?” Damon had joined their party.
“The redhead.” Nick “covertly” pointed at her.
It drew a bunch of attention, and Luke flashed a smile and elbowed Nick in the shoulder. “Pointing is rude,” he hissed.
“Man, her hair is the same color, isn’t it?” Damon said.
Nick made a signal for Damon to abort the conversation, but Luke shook his head and took a sip of his water. “It’s fine, guys. It’s … I’m over her. It’s been over.”
Both his brothers looked at him, then at each other, then back to the crowd.
“Sure it is, bro,” Nick said as another person walked over and held their hand out.
“Yeah,” Damon agreed. “When pigs fly.”
“Shut it.” Luke put on a polite face and shook hands with one of the head surgeons.
“Could happen,” Nick whispered behind his back.
“Stranger things have,” Damon agreed. “Like our brother taking his chances in Alaska and not getting eaten by grizzly bears.”
“Naw,” Nick said. “He’s too bitter for a bear to eat him. And if they did, they would have to spit him out.”
“True.” Damon agreed.
Finishing his polite handshake, Luke turned around and glared at his brothers. “Shut up,” he hissed. But it did feel good to be home.
“Mr. Freestone, can I talk to you?”
Turning, Luke didn’t recognize the lady.
She pushed her hand out. “I am the social worker working with Lincoln’s case.” Her lip turned down. “And it looks like the parents who wanted to adopt Lincoln have been denied.”
34
Luke sat out on the boat. His mind had been troubled since the social worker had told him about Lincoln.
He was waiting for his brothers, as usual. The bums were always late when they should have been early. This time, they were going to bring pizza, water ski, and chat like old times. And this time they didn’t have an almost done deal; they had a done deal.
It’d been funny to Luke, after being in Alaska for a year, when he finally got back and the deal was settled, checking his financials and seeing he was a billionaire, that he didn’t feel so different. He thought about the same time last year, and pondered how it was interesting he wasn’t even as excited today as he was at the prospect a year ago.
Anchoring the boat, he waited. He climbed out on the bow and let himself relax, opening a water and taking a sip. “Hey, Mom.” It’d been a while since he’d talked to her since he’d
been back, but he’d actually done a lot of talking to her in Alaska. “I don’t know what to do about Lincoln.” He let out a long breath. “Any suggestions?”
When he closed his eyes, the thing that always happened when he closed his eyes … happened. Savannah. This memory was from last summer, when he’d found her at the marina with her halter-top suit, jean shorts, and heels. And he couldn’t forget the fire-red hair. No. He settled into the memory. He would not forget her hair and the way her soft green eyes could just break him. He wondered if she knew about Lincoln.
Then he thought about Sean. “Hey, dude,” Luke whispered. It’d been a thing he’d started doing in Alaska. One day he couldn’t stop thinking about him, so he’d decided to talk to him. It’d been nice. He told him everything about Savannah, and it actually helped him feel better. “I hope she’s okay. I hope … she found her dream.”
Another flutter of sadness washed through him, thinking of Lincoln. He wanted to help baby Lincoln, he had to think of how. He needed another plan.
35
Savannah got into town late the night before, but she happened to barely make Lincoln’s party. From what she saw, it’d been a doozy; there were streamers and uneaten cake plates and guests still there chatting with the parents.
Beth freaked out. “Oh my gosh, my sister!” she yelled from across the room, then ran and flung herself into Savannah’s arms. They both giggled hysterically and collapsed into a heap on the floor.
After all the hellos to Beth’s nurse friends and holding baby Lincoln, she wondered if she would see him.
“He was here,” Beth said offhandedly.
“What?” Savannah pretended she hadn’t been looking for someone.
Beth pointed to the Freestone Wing plaque that would be put up when that section of the hospital was done.
“Oh.” She tried to act cool, like she didn’t care that Luke Freestone, the man she had always loved, had been here and gone before she’d had the chance to see him.
After they said their goodbyes and walked out of the party, Beth said, “He was looking for you, too.”
This, she knew, had to be concocted in Beth’s imagination, even though the familiar butterflies were humming nicely. “You’re lying.”
“No, he came through there with his brothers. They mosied around, shaking hands. When he saw me, he stopped and waved.”
“He’s polite.”
“But then, I distinctly saw him see this redhead girl who looked like you, and he …”
“He what?” she asked, irritated.
“He wanted it to be you. I could tell.”
“Brother.” She rolled her eyes.
They went to Beth’s car and got in, but before they could get in, Kathy called out to them.
“Wait up guys!”
Beth and Savannah waited.
Kathy got to them, completely out of breath. “You guys aren’t going to believe this … the adoption’s not going to work out.”
The next morning, Savannah went to Luke’s home, feeling like this would be the easiest way to see him. She was nervous, but she was determined in a way she hadn’t been determined in a long time. After the news last night, it almost felt like fate.
As she pulled in, Nick and Damon were pulling out front in Nick’s car. Nick rolled his window down. “Well, well, Samantha Loveless, back in town,” Nick sang out. He grinned at her. “How are you?”
“Fine, thank you.” She looked at Damon, who cocked an eyebrow, not seeming too friendly.
“What do you need?” Damon asked, all Miami Vice–like.
“I’m looking for Luke.”
“No.” Damon took off his sunglasses and shook his head.
This had not been the answer she’d been expecting. Kind of a cool reception.
Nick hesitated, then turned to Damon. “Dude, I think we should tell her.”
Damon flashed Nick the kind of look that said “say another word and I’ll kill you.”
“O-kay.” She waited for a second. She wasn’t the give-up-in-a-second kind of girl, especially because she’d known his brother her whole life.
Nick was saying something to Damon she couldn’t hear. Damon huffed and leaned around, pointing at her with a glare on his face. “What do you want him for?”
“I just want to talk.”
“Well, don’t mess things up, okay?”
“What does that mean?”
Now Nick pointed at her. “It means don’t send him into a spin and make him have to leave us for a year to detox you out of him.”
Her heart sank a little. “Please tell me where he is.”
Damon sighed. “Fine, he’s at the lake. But this is our lake day, so don’t mess it up.”
Savannah turned to the house. “Well, it looks like I need to borrow a suit. You don’t mind waiting a sec, do you, boys?” She kept driving for the house.
36
Luke was about to give up the cool “cove spot” he’d gotten them and drive back to the marina when he saw Nick’s car pulling in. Sitting up, he flipped around the boat and turned it on, getting ready to pull up to the dock so they could hop on board.
As he navigated to the mutually agreed on boarding place, he couldn’t believe it. In fact, he had to take his sunglasses off just to make sure his eyes weren’t playing funny tricks on him.
She stood there in a swimsuit he recognized from his hot tub almost a year ago. If he wasn’t mistaken, the one from his house. She looked amazing, and she wore it with no cover. Her hair was piled on her head and it came down in wisps around her face.
For a second he could barely breathe. Every part of her body was lean and toned, and the fierce look of her face was something he never would have expected to see coming from her.
Small fires of attraction went off inside of him, battling the familiar anger and pain of the last year he’d worked so hard to get away from.
Damon grabbed the boat and jumped in, cursing. “I can send her away, man. You don’t need this.”
Nick hopped in too, then glanced back at Savannah, who had started moving toward them. “I think you should talk to her.”
“He doesn’t need to talk to her. Look at him.” Damon gestured to Luke. “This was over when she walked away last year.”
Luke turned to Damon. “Aren’t you the one who told me to decide what I want?”
“Do you want her?” Damon asked. “Because I think she’s a bunch of crazy.”
Luke thought about how it was Sean’s day, and he knew that if she was coming to him, he would talk to her.
Nick grunted. “Let’s go, Damon.”
Damon shook his head. “Should we really go?”
All the intensity he thought he’d put in check rushed into Luke as he turned to his brothers. “You guys know I’ve never been able to walk away from her … and I can’t now.” Man, this woman could get under his skin before even saying a word to him. “Go.”
They got off the boat.
They both stared at each other. “Hey,” she said quietly.
“Hey.”
Letting out a sigh, she looked around. “It’s just like I remember it.”
Luke didn’t know what to say.
“I need to talk to you.”
Remembering to breathe, Luke gestured to the boat. “Okay. Hop in.”
She got in and sat on one of the chairs by the pilot’s seat. “It’s exactly like it used to be, isn’t it?”
Luke had no idea where she was going with her being here. Turning on the engine, he maneuvered the boat back out, careful to watch for other boats. When he had a good long run, he punched it, and it took off.
Out of nowhere, she laughed, her hair catching wind and flying all over. She could be the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
Their eyes met, and he felt like all the years had intertwined. Fourth grade, seventh grade, eleventh, Sadie Hawkins, graduation. The day he’d broken her heart. Then last summer, her slapping him, kissing him, sending him away … and all the
other revelations about both of their lives.
The amazing thing, the truly incomprehensible thing, was it was the same.
It was him and her. Together.
Cutting the engine in the center of the lake, he turned to her. “Out with it, Savannah.”
She let out a breath. “I was walking on the beach the other day and I came upon this.” She pulled up her hand and held out a piece of blue/purple glass. It looked like the broken part of a jam glass.
He took it. “Hmm. Interesting.”
“The same color as the flowers you gave me in seventh grade.”
His heart beat fast. “I guess so.”
She took it back and sighed. “I knew I had to come. And I had to see you.”
He didn’t know what to say. “Why?” He demanded it a bit loudly, but all his emotions were on overdrive.
“Just listen.”
“Savannah, I don’t know if I can do this, again. I …” Fear surged inside of him, thinking of how lonely he’d been without her.
“All this time I kept thinking I had to go somewhere else to start over, to have this all behind me. I thought you were better off without me, but then I realized I think about you every day.”
Her voice cracked, and it about undid him. His lip trembled. “Sav, I can’t …”
She took his hand. “I thought I could stay away and I’d be free from the past, but Beth said something to me the other day. She said there is no ‘without you.’”
Luke didn’t know where this conversation was going, but every part of him started to hope … and he knew hope was dangerous.
“You’ve been in my life since the day I was born, and whether I’m with you or not, I will think about you every day.” She squeezed his hand. “I will think about everything we shared and everything we lost and everything that could be. You were right, I wanted a dream.” She sighed. “That stupid beach movie.”
“The side of his lip tugged up. “Annette and Frankie, the old guy.”
She pointed at him. “He wasn’t old then.”
He laughed.
“But the dream isn’t real.” She sighed. “But we’re real.”
