“Yeah, to me, too.”
As we arrive at the stage entrance, despite my nerves about performing, I feel a sense of peace, like I’ve made the right call coming to New York City to meet my father, meeting Gabby, doing all of it.
“You ready for this?” Rex asks me. If he’s nervous, he’s not showing it. But then I guess he’s a seasoned professional, even if this is his big comeback.
“I’m good. You go get that audience warmed up, ’kay? I’ll be out when you call me.”
Rex walks out onto the stage with his band to thunderous applause. He says a few words of thanks for old and new fans showing up, and then launches into his biggest hit of all time, a song I’ve known since I was a little kid—and never knew it was sung by my dad.
As Rex rolls out the hits, I break away from watching him to look around for Gabby. She said she’d be here to see me perform, but she’s nowhere in sight.
I ask one of the stagehands, “Have you seen Gabby, one of the Pop Princesses?”
He shakes his head.
And then it’s too late to find her. As Rex finishes the song immediately preceding ours in the set, I pace nervously. I always get a touch of the nerves before I perform. Nothing I can’t handle, nothing that has me bolting for the restroom. Just some good old-fashioned anxiety rattling around inside.
Rex’s voice booms around the arena. “Ladies and gentlemen, I want to introduce you to someone special tonight. A rising star, a guy I think you’re all going to fall in love with: Cole Grant.”
As the crowd cheers—more because they’re high on the fact they’re seeing Rex live than anything to do with me—I make my way past the curtains and onto the stage. The lights are so damn bright they burn into my pupils. I concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, focused on Rex’s smiling face in the middle of the stage.
He gives me a half hug and pats me on the shoulder. Speaking into his mic, he says, “Give it up for Cole.” The crowd dials up their enthusiasm. This guy still has all the charm and stage presence he ever did, and I won’t deny it feels great to be a part of it, to know the man who commands this amount of love from his audience is my father.
“We’ve been working on a song together,” Rex continues. “I think you’re gonna love it. Hell, I’m hoping you download it off iTunes!”
He looks at me and checks to see if I’m ready. Too late for that. I’m on the stage, my guitar’s in place, and I’m in front of tens of thousands. If I’m not ready now, I never will be.
I nod and he shoots me a quick smile before he turns to his drummer to kick off our song. The now familiar beat washes over me, and I feel like I’m back in the rehearsal space with Rex, singing this song that holds such meaning for us. Meaning very few know.
In the brief moments before we sing, I feel that as much as fame doesn’t matter to me, performing this song with him, on one of the most famous stages in the world, doing something together we both love, is nothing short of spectacular.
When we sing, the words resonate in my heart. No matter what happened in the past, we’ve found one another now, and it’s the best feeling in the world.
As I play the last chord, the noise from the exploding crowd is deafening. They whoop and stomp their feet. I feel an overwhelming rush of adrenaline, such a sense of purpose and achievement. It’s plain as day to me why performers get addicted to this.
Rex says something to me, a grin on his face, but it’s too loud to hear what he says. I lean into him and say, “This is awesome.”
He laughs. “That’s exactly what I said. We need to do this again.”
“Count me in.”
“You’ll come to Boston with me next week?”
“Hell, yeah!”
He takes me by the shoulders and pulls me in for a hug. The crowd amps their cheers up to fever pitch. He slaps me on the back, and says, “I told you! You’re the heir to my musical kingdom.” Turning back to his mic, Rex says, “Cole Grant! Isn’t he fantastic?” to more cheers and foot stomping.
“Thank you,” I say into my mic, and my grin stretches so far across my face it runs the risk of splitting my cheeks. I raise my chin at Rex, turn and salute the band, and then walk off the stage. I’m on some sort of incredible high I don’t ever want to come down from.
I make my way past the thick black curtain to a sea of people waiting backstage. The only person I want to see is Gabby. I scan the group, searching for her beautiful face until my eyes land on her, at the back of the crowd. She smiles at me for a moment before her eyes break our connection, her expression pained. Despite the exhilaration still rushing through my veins, concern clouds my mind.
“Cole! Is there any truth in the article?” someone shouts as I make my way through the crowd to her.
“When did you find out?” another voice says.
“Are you going public now?” yet another asks.
I grimace at them, no clue what they’re on about—and zero interest in knowing. I want to get to Gabby, I want to share this moment with her. And I want to make sure she’s okay.
“How long have you known you’re Rex’s son?” a voice calls out.
I stop in my tracks. What? Did I hear that right? I whip my head in the direction of the questioner. It’s a young hipster-looking guy with black-rimmed glasses, his eyes wide as he awaits my response.
“What did you say?” I ask.
“I asked, how long have you known you’re Rex’s son? I mean, is this news to you or something he’s kept hidden all this time?”
I stare at him, disbelieving, my thoughts scrambled. It’s been such a close-held secret, something so personal and important, that to have some random stranger ask me about it has me reeling.
“You are his son, aren’t you? That’s what it says here.” The same guy holds up his phone, and I see an image of Rex and me together, sitting at the coffee house we visited last week. The place where we were caught by the paparazzi.
Dumbfounded, I grab the phone from his outstretched hand and blink at the screen. I read the caption above the image, “Rex Randall’s Grown Up Love Child!” in big, bold red letters.
“Hey!” the guy protests at the loss of his phone. I ignore him as I study the screen. How did this happen? Who could have leaked my story?
I look up at the throng around me, all watching me closely for my reaction. The sound of Rex’s music fills in the spaces between my thudding heart.
I blink a few times, bringing myself back to reality. Lost, I lock onto Gabby, determined to get to her. She raises her eyes to mine, and it hits me like a falling Redwood. Something inside of me tells me what I fear the most.
It was her.
Chapter 21
Gabriella
I’m incapable of tearing my gaze from Cole. His disbelief, his pain, coming at me so fast. I’ve never seen him like this and I’m half terrified. My heart thrashes like a whip in my ears, and all I can think of is escape.
But I can’t take the easy road. He’s worth so much more than that.
I didn’t mean this to happen.
I didn’t mean for the world to find out.
He trusted me, and I . . . I have ruined it all.
He pushes his way through the crowd surrounding him and closes in on me. Instinctively, I take a step back and brace myself for impact. His face looks like thunder, but I’m desperate to make this right.
He comes to a stop. We’re quite literally toe to toe. I feel his eyes bore into me, hard, accusing. Devoid of love. Devoid of trust. I drag my eyes from his face to the phone in his hand. I know exactly what it will be. The headline screams at me in bold letters. Deafening. Accusing.
“Cole, please. Let me explain. I think I—”
“Explain? Are you fucking kidding me, Gabby?”
I step back from him. His fury fills the air and it’s becoming hard to breathe. But I must fix this. I need him to know I didn’t intend this to happen, that it was all a big horrible mistake.
“Can we talk? Somewher
e away from all these people?” I glance at the crowd, most of whom are still watching us closely, hungry for more salacious details on this big breaking news story. “Somewhere quiet?”
His reply is to stomp past me down the hallway toward the dressing rooms. I trail after him, grateful to leave the noise and commotion behind—and scared out of my wits of what’s to come.
“Cole, wait up,” I say as I scamper after him in my high heels, my legs trying to keep up with his long, angry strides. “Please.”
He stops abruptly and I almost collide with him. He turns and glares at me, his nostrils flared. “Please what? Please let you explain why you sold me out? Please let you explain why you shared my deeply personal story with the world? Let you explain how all this, you and me, has been about you searching for fame? Is that what you want to ‘explain?’” He spits his words at me, and my belly twists into a painful knot.
“Cole, I—”
“It’s my story, Gabby. Mine and Rex’s. Not yours. Not anyone else’s.” He snarls, his mouth twisted, his eyes flashing in fury.
“Hey, man. Give me my phone back.” The guy whose phone Cole requisitioned approaches us, a scowl on his face.
Cole tears his glare from me to look at the guy. “What?” he snaps.
“My phone,” he repeats, his hand outstretched.
“Here.” Cole thrusts it at him.
The guy takes it and slinks away, leaving us alone once more.
I chew on my lip as I try to work out how to get through to Cole. How to tell him I made a mistake. “Cole, you need to let me explain.”
“You know what? I don’t need to let you do anything. You are the only person who knew about my father outside of my family. You’re the only person I told.”
“But-but I think I know who it was who told the media. I think it was Sylvia.”
“Sylvia? How the hell would she know?”
I hang my head. My chest aches. “She must have overheard me.” Steeling myself, I look up at his hardened face as tears sting my eyes. “You’ve got to know I never wanted this to happen.”
His eyes widen. “She overheard you?”
I give a short nod as I think about how Sylvia materialized, seemingly out of thin air, as I told Cece about Cole. It had to be her. It’s got her fingerprints all over it. “You know what she’s like. This is completely her style. You’ve seen how she operates. She hates me, and she’ll do whatever she can to make my life as miserable as possible.”
“How do I know? You’re the only one I told, Gabby. And now, all those people back there know my story. Hell, Rex doesn’t even know this is out there.”
“It wasn’t me, Cole. Listen to me!”
He waves my words away. “Who exactly were you telling my story to when Sylvia ‘overheard’ you?”
I put my hand on his forearm and look up into his eyes. “I told my sister, only because I wanted her to know it was you who made all of this possible for me. I wanted her to know how amazing you are.” I smile at him, hoping he’ll see reason, hoping he’ll understand.
A little voice in the back of my head asks me why I told Cece. I know I didn’t need to. I’ve kept Cole’s secret faithfully. Cece and I have no secrets between us. We’re in this thing together, and we’re all the other one’s got. When I found out about her shoplifting, I’d been hurt. I didn’t want this to come between us, too.
Whatever the reason, right now I would give anything to go back in time and keep my darn mouth firmly shut.
“You’re telling me you told Cece when I asked you not to tell anyone?”
Wounded, I remove my hand from his arm. “Cece’s not just ‘anyone.’ She’s everything to me.”
“Oh really?” His laugh has an edge to it I’ve not heard from him before. “It looks to me like being a famous pop star is everything to you. Not Cece. Not me. Isn’t that why you asked me to introduce you to Rex?”
“Well, yes, but I—”
He doesn’t let me finish. “Isn’t that why you started this thing up with me in the first place? To get famous? To get your big break? I was useful, wasn’t I? A stepping stone on your path to fame.”
Shock sucks the air from my lungs. My body begins to tremble. “What? No! Cole, that’s crazy! I would never do that.”
“Really? Tell me if I’ve got this wrong.” He begins to count things off on his fingers. “You accidentally crash into me at the record label, you find out I’m connected to Rex, and then you use me to worm your way into meeting the biggest pop star in the country. Oh, and you sleep with me, too, just to make sure it’s all believable.”
“It wasn’t like that!”
He holds his hand up to silence me, and I clamp my mouth shut. “Then next you tell me you love me and, stupid idiot that I am, I believe you. I pushed for you to be a Pop Princess today when I should have been—” He trails off, and I can tell he’s fighting to keep his feelings under control.
Despite my fear, I ask, “When you should have been what?” I hold my breath.
“When I should have run a fucking mile in the other direction.”
His words are like a hard slap across my face. I stand firm. I humble myself. There’s too much at stake here for me. “What I feel for you is real. I love you.”
“I can’t believe what you say. Any of it. How do I know?” His gaze bores into me. “I guess, at least you got what you wanted. You’re a big hit, Gabby. They love you. I only hope it was all worth it.”
He uses the word they. Not I. They.
“Cole, don’t do this.”
“It’s too late.” He turns away, takes a few steps, stops, and slowly looks back at me. His eyes glisten, and his lips are pressed into a tense line. “I thought I could trust you.”
“You can.” My body is a tightly-wound ball of string. He’s not listening to me, he doesn’t believe what I’m saying. How can I get through to him?
He shakes his head and says softly, “You’re wrong. I can’t.” He turns away from me once more and walks down the hall.
I watch his retreating figure and feel every one of his footsteps like repeated stabs in the belly.
“Cole, don’t leave.” My voice is thin, weak, full of the unspoken dread I carry around inside myself every day of my life. People leave. The ones I love leave.
Mom.
Dad.
Now Cole.
He doesn’t turn back. My dread returns full force as I watch him walk away.
As he disappears around the corner, I’m left standing alone, lost, a sickening muddle of emotions churning inside. My breath comes in shallow bursts as what’s happened between us begins to sink into my consciousness. Cole accused me of using him to get what I want, of never having loved him.
And now he’s gone.
I could go after him, I could try harder to explain. Couldn’t I?
I stand rigid as the cold inevitability of what’s happened seeps through my body and down my limbs.
I knew this would happen. It was always going to. I knew it before it even began. I can’t rely on anyone, I can’t expect them to listen to me, I can’t expect them to put my needs first, to be there for me.
What was I thinking?
I should have run in the other direction. Stopped myself from falling for him, to blunt this crippling pain he’s left me with.
Here, alone.
∞∞∞
Cole
I slam the door to Rex’s dressing room and stand in the center of the room, blind with grief and fury.
How could she do this to me?
How could she do this to us?
Whether she’s got some excuse for it or not, she shared my story with someone else. Forget the fact that it’s her kid sister, that’s not the point. She betrayed me, and now I’m stuck in a new shitstorm—only this time, my face is splashed all over the freaking media. And Rex has been pulled in, too.
I was an idiot to trust her. To think she would be any different.
My anger flares and I search
the room looking for a way to vent. I grab a mug from Rex’s dressing table, hold it up, ready to smash it against the wall, to let out some of the rage that’s tearing me up inside.
I lower it. Breaking something won’t mend my broken heart. The fight begins to desert me. I slump forward, dropping the cup to the floor, and rest heavily against the back of a chair. There’s a throbbing ache in my chest and a wave of cold washes over me.
She betrayed me, simple as that. My feelings, deep and real, have been wiped out with one single move.
A move that shows me so much about who she is.
It’s like I’ve woken up from a dream. And what I see staring back at me rips my heart right out of my chest.
I look up and catch my reflection in the dressing room mirror. I’m not surprised by what greets me. My face puffy, my eyes bloodshot, I look like crap. Haggard, totally spent.
I should have done what I intended when I arrived in this city: met my dad, put all my energy into him. Him and no one else. When I crashed into Gabby that day, I should have walked away.
Not let her in.
Not shared my story.
Not offered her my heart.
I let out a long, heavy breath. I wipe my face with my hands and run my fingers through my hair. As I look at my sorry-ass reflection, I make a call.
With Gabby a part of the Pop Princesses for weeks to come, supporting Rex’s band on tour, I’m not going to stick around. I can’t see her every day, knowing what she’s done. I may have left one mess back home and gotten myself into another one here, but I know where I belong.
And right now, I want nothing more than to escape.
Chapter 22
Gabriella
I sit staring blindly out the window of the limo as we make our slow progress through the streets of Manhattan. The night lights of the city are a blur to me, my chest hot and tight. A large, heavy brick has settled in my belly.
It’s been almost two hours since my fight with Cole. Almost two long, painful hours since he left. I’ve barely had a moment to myself. It’s been filled with the rest of Rex’s concert and the after party. Rex finding out the story had broken.
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