by Susan Stoker
She nodded at him, and he ignored the tears that shone brightly in her eyes, figuring she needed the release. Blake grabbed the necklace and mic before taking a step backward. He kept eye contact with her until he reached the doorway. He reached out, grabbed the knob, and shut the door silently behind him, leaving Alexis to her thoughts.
Chapter Twelve
Alexis stripped off her top and jeans in a daze, leaving them in a heap on the tiled floor. She quickly removed her panties and bra and reached into the shower to turn it on. After only moments, the water heated and she turned it as hot as she thought she could stand before stepping into the large enclosure.
When her body got used to the temperature, she turned the knob a quarter of an inch, making it just this side of scalding. Then she scrubbed. If she wasn’t so concerned about getting clean, she might’ve found it funny that Blake owned, and apparently used, a shower pouf, on which she poured a liberal amount of body wash and did her best to remove the feeling of Chuck’s hands on her and the feeling of revulsion that had clung to her after watching the men in the house take the girls to the back room to screw.
She rubbed her body until it was pink from both the hot water and her harsh ablutions. The hand that she’d touched Chuck’s damp T-shirt with had been scrubbed until it felt like she’d taken off the top layer of skin. Then Alexis simply stood under the blistering-hot water, letting it hammer against her head and face until she was forced to take a step back to breathe.
Then, finally, the tears she’d held back all night burst free, as if they were water released from a dam. She couldn’t keep them in any longer, putting her back to the tile wall and sliding down until her butt hit the ground. She wrapped her arms around her knees and cried as the water rained down on her. Cried because of how scared she’d been, cried because she was sure she’d be called out as a snitch any second and brutally raped and killed, cried because Chuck had stuck his disgusting tongue in her mouth.
Alexis cried until she didn’t think she had one ounce of water left in her body. She stood on shaky legs, bracing herself with a hand against the wall, and turned her back to the water, letting it cascade over her hair, and down her face, one more time. She swayed, not wanting to leave. Even after showering, she still felt dirty.
It felt as if the Inca Boyz’ awfulness and evilness stuck to her like a death shroud. She couldn’t shake it off, no matter how hard she scrubbed or how hot the water was. Feeling defeated, she finally turned off the water. She opened the shower door and grabbed a towel. She dried off robotically, not even caring if she was thorough, and headed out of the bathroom into Blake’s room.
On his bed was a shirt and a pair of shorts, just as he’d said he’d leave for her. She quickly changed, pausing only to inhale Blake’s masculine scent, which clung to the T-shirt, and headed back into the bathroom to brush her teeth with the stuff Logan had picked up for her at the pharmacy.
She brushed three times and swished with mouthwash four times, trying in vain to get the disgusting feel and taste of Chuck out of her mouth. When she was about to fall over with exhaustion, she finally shuffled out of the bathroom to make her way to the kitchen.
But Alexis stopped in her tracks when she left the steamy room. Blake was standing by his bed wearing nothing but a pair of flannel pants that had polar bears all over them. They seemed so out of place. Lex had no idea where he’d gotten them, but he didn’t give her a chance to comment.
He held out a hand and said softly, “Come ’ere, Lex.”
She walked over to him without hesitation and placed her hand in his, sighing in relief when he closed his fingers around her. How holding his hand could make her feel so grounded, Alexis had no clue. But she’d give every penny she had in the bank if he held on and never let go.
With his free hand, Blake pulled back the covers. “Climb in, sweetheart.”
“I thought you were making something to eat,” she said, her voice sounding rough and scratchy from her bout of crying.
“You need my arms around you more than you need food.”
His answer was brief and to the point, and oh so true. Alexis reluctantly let go of Blake’s hand and climbed into his bed.
“Scoot over. I’m coming in too.”
Relieved that he’d read her mind, she did as he requested, moving over to give him some room. Alexis kept her eyes on Blake as he leaned over and clicked off the light on a table next to the bed.
Then he turned and gathered her into his arms. Her bare legs brushed against his flannel-clad ones, and she sighed in contentment. She laid her head on his bare chest, and her breath suddenly hitched when she felt his fingers rest on her hip just under the waistband of her shorts. He simply held her to him, his warm, strong fingers pressing into her, letting her know he was there.
She’d thought she was all cried out, but apparently she still had some tears. She tried to keep Blake from knowing she was upset, but she obviously didn’t do a very good job of it.
“Let it out, Lex. I’ve got you.”
“I’m f-f-fine.”
“No, you’re not, and I don’t fucking blame you. It took everything I had to not bust into the middle of the party and carry you out of there. Not to mention how hard it was for me to not come into the shower when I heard you crying. It killed me, more so because I know that’s not you.”
“It’s n-n-not. I never cry.”
“I know, sweetheart. You’re the toughest chick I know. Cry all you want. I won’t tell a soul.”
And Alexis knew he wouldn’t. His understanding and sensitivity made her stop trying to hold back. She held on as tightly to him as he did to her and gave up trying to be stoic. She bawled. Huge, ugly sobs that she knew she should be embarrassed about, but Blake didn’t speak, or do anything other than hold her tight.
Ten minutes later, when she was finally done, Blake produced a tissue from somewhere and held it up to her nose. “Blow.”
She didn’t hesitate and did as he ordered.
When he leaned away to put the tissue on the table, she brought a hand up and wiped the tears off her face, then snuggled back into Blake’s warm chest.
“Feel better?” he asked quietly.
Alexis nodded. “I’m sorry I snotted all over you.”
He chuckled but said, “I’m not. You needed that.”
She nodded against him again. “I did. Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Lex. I’d be an asshole if I told you to suck it up or not to worry because it was all over. All I want is for you to be yourself with me. If that means being strong in front of everyone else, and crying on me in our bed, so be it.”
She shivered at hearing “our bed.” “That was nice,” she told him.
“It’s not nice,” he retorted fiercely, squeezing her. “It’s called taking care of the person you love. Being there for them when they need you. I’ll always be your strength when you don’t have it for yourself, your sounding board when you need one, or simply your supporter, cheering you on from the background. The fact of the matter is that I know you don’t really need me, Lex. You’ve done a hell of a job standing on your own two feet and taking on the world on your own. I just feel lucky you’re here with me right now.”
All of that was wonderful. Amazing, in fact. But there was that one little word Alexis heard echoing in her brain. She was afraid to bring it up. Afraid he’d said it in the heat of the moment. But typically, she couldn’t let it go. She needed to know.
Lifting her head, she stared through the dim light of the room into his eyes. She tried to read his thoughts through his facial expression but failed.
“Taking care of the person you love?” she asked quietly, her eyebrows lifting in question.
Blake didn’t hesitate. Didn’t make her wonder for a second longer if he meant what he’d said. “Yeah. I love you, Lex. You snuck under my radar, and I realized that every day I looked forward to talking to you. To seeing you. I knew I loved you before tonight, but you being in
danger and me not being able to do a fucking thing about it solidified it for me. I love you. Not because you’ll be giving me your body. Not because you’re the only woman I’ve hung out with since I got back to Castle Rock. And not because you’re doing an amazing thing for my family. I love you for you. The person you show to the outside world . . . the strong, take-no-shit-from-anyone daughter of a bazillionaire, as well as the one I get the privilege to see in private. The woman who is self-conscious, stubborn to a fault, and who is uncertain and scared to show her true self to the world because she’s afraid of what they might think.”
Alexis could only stare at Blake in amazement. He loved her. When he didn’t say anything else, she shut her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn’t believe it. She never thought she’d ever be where she was now. In Blake’s house, in his arms, in his bed. She brought her hand up to the side of his face and laid it on the slight stubble there, running her thumb back and forth over the scratchy skin. “I’ve loved you for months. From practically the first moment I saw you.”
“Did you wash away the demons?” he asked, an intense look in his eyes.
“What?” It wasn’t what she was expecting him to say at all.
“You didn’t want me to touch you earlier. You needed to wash away that asshole’s touch. I want to kiss you, I need to kiss you, but I want you to be sure.”
“I’m sure,” Alexis told Blake with no hesitation. “I need you.”
Blake lowered his head until his lips hovered over hers. “You’re mine,” he whispered. “I can’t imagine ever touching another woman. You’re the only one I want to be with, to kiss, to love. You don’t ever have to worry about me cheating on you, Lex. You’re it for me. I know it down to the marrow of my bones.”
“Kiss me. Please.”
Without another word, Blake’s mouth dropped to hers. But instead of taking her in a hard, passionate kiss, he savored her. Gently kissing her with close-mouthed pecks, then licking each of her lips; then, when she was panting with desire, his tongue finally eased into her mouth. Alexis sighed in relief and relished the feel of his mouth on hers. She was surrounded by Blake, his touch, his smell. She didn’t think about Chuck at all. All that time in the shower and brushing her teeth had done nothing to dispel him from her thoughts, but all it took was one touch of Blake’s lips to hers and—poof—he was gone, as if he’d never taken up residence in her brain.
Alexis and Blake took turns being the aggressor; first his tongue dueled with hers; then he retreated, letting her enter his mouth and take charge of their kiss.
When it felt like her lungs would burst, Alexis pulled back reluctantly. Blake immediately tucked her head back onto his chest and held her tightly against him. She could feel his cock hard and long against her. She’d thrown her leg over his hips and had been grinding herself on him as they’d kissed. Blake’s hand was all the way under her shorts now, his hot, heavy palm resting on her bare ass.
She lay there on top of him panting for a moment, expecting him to make the first move toward sex. But when Blake did nothing but lie under her, his heart beating a fast tempo under her palm resting on his muscular, slightly furred, bare chest, Alexis tilted her head back and looked up at him.
“You’re gonna have to help me here, Blake. I haven’t done this before.” She smiled, knowing she was telling him something he was more than aware of.
“It’s one thirty in the morning, Lex. We’ve had a long night. I’m tired, you’re exhausted. Not to mention that you’ve been put through the emotional wringer. Sleep. There’s no rush. We’ll make love—have no doubt about that. But it doesn’t have to be right this second.”
For a moment, Alexis was worried he didn’t want her anymore, but then reality sunk in. That was her old, less confident self talking. He was right. She was exhausted. Between being scared out of her mind and disgusted with Chuck’s hands on her, then her emotional crying jag and the euphoria of Blake telling her he loved her . . . she was done. Just the thought of sleeping made her eyes suddenly extremely heavy.
“Okay,” she whispered, tucking her nose into his chest once more and letting her eyes drift closed. “But I’ll be more myself after some sleep. Just sayin’.”
“Noted,” Blake said, the humor clear in that one word.
She could almost hear the wide smile that was sure to be on his face.
“You comfortable? Or can we change positions?” he asked after a moment.
“I could move,” Alexis told him, prying her eyes open with effort and lifting her head.
“Turn on your side, facing away from me,” Blake ordered gently.
She did, and asked, “Like this?”
“Exactly like that,” he told her, crowding in behind her, spooning her body with his. He wrapped his arm around her, tucking his forearm between her breasts and putting his hand under her cheek. He pushed his other arm under her pillow, totally surrounding her with his heat. He buried his nose into the crease of her neck, and she could feel his hot deep breaths against her skin.
“You smell like me,” he commented completely out of the blue.
“I used your shower gel,” Alexis told him sleepily.
“As much as I loved you smelling like honeysuckle, I think I like this better,” Blake stated firmly. “It’s sexy as hell and makes me feel even closer to you.”
Alexis made a mental note to use his soap every now and then. She probably wouldn’t use it in the mornings, because it wasn’t exactly feminine, but she had to admit that she loved smelling like him probably almost as much as he enjoyed it.
They lay wrapped around each other without saying a word for a while. It felt familiar to Alexis somehow, as if she’d slept with Blake like this before . . . which was impossible. Wasn’t it?
He answered her unasked question as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. “We slept like this when you were drunk the other day. You snuggled my arm as if you’d never let it go. I slept better than I ever have before. Do you mind? Are you comfortable?”
“Yes, I’m comfortable. I fit against you as if I was made to be in your arms.”
“Good. Because I love this. I feel as if I’m standing between you and the world . . . and there’s no place else I’d rather be.”
“I love you, Blake.”
“And I love you too, Lex. Sleep. I’ve got you.”
“Mmmm.” Alexis shut her eyes, expecting her mind to continue to race with everything that happened, but instead she fell into a deep sleep almost as soon as she closed her eyes.
She never knew that Blake lay awake for over an hour, simply breathing her in, and enjoying the feel of her clutching his arm to her breast, as if she’d fight and kill anyone who tried to take him away from her.
Chapter Thirteen
Blake was dreaming that he was on vacation with Alexis in the Caribbean. He had no idea what island, only that it was warm and the sand felt soft beneath him. They were both naked, and he’d never had an erection as painful and hard as the one he did right then.
His eyes popped open when he realized that he wasn’t dreaming. The room was warm, he was sweating, and Lex was kneeling at his side on his mattress, naked as the day she was born, her eyes glued to his erection, which she had in one hand.
Blake had no idea what time it was, except that it was obviously morning. Sunlight was showing through the slits in the blinds. All thoughts of the time flew from his mind when Alexis leaned down and timidly licked the head of his cock. He couldn’t hold back the groan that crawled up the back of his throat at the sight of her tongue licking her lips as she looked up at him.
“It’s salty and kinda bitter at the same time.”
“Fuck, Lex. You’re killing me,” he said on a sharp exhale of breath. His hand came up to her neck, and he pulled her up toward his face. “Good morning, sweetheart. Come up here. Kiss me.”
Without hesitation, and without taking her fingers off his erection, she braced herself with her free hand and lifted her head to his.
Blake took his time, finding the faint taste of him on her tongue a turn-on. He lazily explored her mouth when all he really wanted to do was spin her around and fuck her so hard she wouldn’t be able to move for hours.
But her virginity kept him from moving. There’d be plenty of time later for him to take her like that, but this morning was her time . . . was their time. They’d never have another first time, and he planned to make it as unforgettable as he possibly could . . . for both of them.
Her small, soft hand lightly and tentatively caressing his cock was unbelievably erotic. She lifted her head and asked in a soft voice, full of love and lust and even a bit of uncertainty shining clear in her big brown eyes, “Make love to me?”
“It’d be my pleasure, sweetheart,” Blake told her, reaching down and removing her hand from his cock. He rolled, moving so he was hovering over her. He pushed his flannel pants the rest of the way down his legs.
Blake braced himself on his elbows next to her shoulders, tangling his hands in her hair and holding her head still. Her naked body was warm and pliant under his, and he could feel her hard nipples brush against his chest. The trimmed hair between her legs brushed against his belly as she unconsciously undulated her hips under him. She wrapped one leg around him, and he felt the wetness on her inner thigh against his hip, while she pulled his weight down onto her body and dug her fingernails into his biceps.
