I went home that morning, paranoid and afraid. Ryan spent the night trying to comfort me, but I felt distant and confused. Unsure of everything, even my own feelings. I spent Sunday waiting for Killian, but he never came. The cold, dark look in his eyes as he passed me the night before edged my mind. But when night came, I'd doze off and see his skeleton body chasing after me and I'd wake up alone in my room.
The week went by slowly without Killian's presence in my life. The ghosts were still missing at school which meant he was close, just nowhere I could see him. I was always paranoid, everyday walking outside, getting in my car, looking over my shoulder expecting to see a demon.
Somewhere along the time of meeting him I must have believed that he would protect me. I would catch myself looking around for him, whether it was at school or home but mostly at night in my room, where I spent the most time with him. But as the week slipped away slowly—his presence gone—that faith was dwindling. Then I'd remind myself that he wasn't human. That his appearance changed right before my eyes turning him into...
My brain was tired of trying to piece together the puzzle I called my life.
I found myself in the library Friday morning during school. Rarely was there anyone in the library. I found comfort here, surrounded by books. Someone dropped a book over the one I had been reading at my table. I jumped and looked up to see Ryan.
“I knew there was something familiar about his change on Saturday.” I hadn't realized Ryan was looking for answers by himself, let alone at all. I avoided the topic every time he brought it up. I studied the book he sat in front of me. It was a new book, brown and hardback. It was called 'Myth and Folklore'.
“What kind of book is this?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Just something on mythical creatures, urban legends, and folklore. It has it all.” He opened the book and began flipping through the pages. I saw pictures of wicked creatures and animals that shouldn't exist, but I knew better now. Some were horrifying even on paper. “I found it in the town library yesterday. I stopped after school.” Ryan never went to the library. “Here.” He stopped on a page.
I grabbed the edges of the book, leaning over it. A skeletal figure was printed on the page, draped with a black cloak and scythe. The drawing was different than Killian's transformation, but it didn't change the fact that everything was the same. It was like looking at a cartoon version of him. I moved my index finger across the paper until I got to the name at the top.
Death; also known as The Grim Reaper.
I could only stare.
This was why it had been so familiar. Everyone's seen a picture depicted of the Grim Reaper at some point. It was obvious to me now. The ghosts feared him. “Death.” I whispered, looking up to Ryan.
He nodded. “And I think he's the real deal. Grim fucking Reaper.”
________
Ryan followed me home from school. Something he had been doing all week. Now that he knew the danger I was in, I couldn't keep him away. Which honestly, if a demon was to come again what could he do? He was a human. Our strength was nothing compared to the power and strength I'd seen so far.
I helped Mom cook while Ryan played video games with Alex in the living room. I could hear them arguing about something in the distance. “You're upset, wanna talk about?” Mom took notice as she stirred the mashed potatoes. I was removing the homemade biscuits from the oven.
“It's nothing.” Nothing she'd understand or believe. It was probably safer that she never believed a word I said as a child.
“Ryan.” Mom arched an eyebrow and I groaned. “He's been hanging around all week.”
“It's not what you think.” Which was the truth, but I knew nothing I could say would change what she believed. No, things were far from romantic between us. Knowing demons were real and after me, Ryan completely changed. The fun and charming friend that I harbored feelings for over the years was missing and replaced with someone that was smothering me like I was a child.
“Oh?” She wasn't convinced.
Mom hollered at the boys to eat. Ryan raced Alex to the table. I smiled, enjoying the fact that he was at least himself in front of my family. “You'd think they were starving.” Mom grinned as she spoke. I knew she enjoyed these moments at home with us. So did I. But I knew it was even more enjoyable that I had a boy over. Ryan topped the cake, she adored him so much.
“You've been coming over a lot this week.” Alex took a bit of food eyeing Ryan. “Not that I'm complaining.” Ryan only smiled and continued eating.
“Your food is always delicious,” he praised Mom and she practically swooned.
“So, are you and my sister finally dating?” I choked on a biscuit as Alex waited for an answer. Ryan looked across the table at me, amused.
“Sadly, no. Your sister keeps ignoring all my signals.”
I took a sip of Dr. Pepper and tried to ignore what he just said. “Hush, whatever.”
“See.” He pointed at me with his fork. “She so coldly rejects me.” He shook his head staring at Alex.
Mom was glowing. “Now, Melanie.”
“You're stupid, sis. Who else would want to date you? I'd be careful about rejecting him,” Alex added.
“Alex,” Mom hissed.
“You are such a dweeb,” I told Alex and he stuck out his tongue.
I helped Mom clean up and Ryan still hadn't left. He even followed me upstairs. Once we were in my room, I shut the door. I turned to face him, practically blowing steam from my ears. “You can stop now.”
“Stop what?” He faked ignorance, flopping down on my bed.
“Never leaving my side,” I huffed, shaking my head causing stray pieces of blonde hair to fall in my eyes. I tucked them behind my ear.
“It's too dangerous and I don't mind.”
“I think you should go.” I reopened the door. He sighed and moved off the bed.
“Melanie.” I hated the tender way he spoke my name. He looked like he never wanted to leave. Not now, not ever. I knew how he felt because I felt the same way, but my heart just wasn't in it this week. I had a lot going on which was probably why something felt different. Yeah, that was it. “I just want to keep you safe.”
“You can't, Ryan.” The words left my lips before realizing. It was honest and real, but it wasn't something any guy would want to hear. That they couldn't keep one girl safe. Ryan stumbled back, knowing it was the truth, but unable to accept it. “Please,” I whispered. “If you're that worried, you can come back tomorrow.” He looked down for a moment. Then walked toward the door, he caught my hand in his. He bent down and kissed my cheek. I looked up, he caught me by surprise.
“I'd do anything to keep you safe.” He smiled and walked out the door.
I went to the bed and flopped down. As sweet as Ryan was, the moment he left my sights, my thoughts of him did as well, making me feel guilty. But not for long. Demons plagued my thoughts. The ugly wolf demons. The dead girl called Molly and how she tried to kill me twice. The whatever it had been at the movie theater. Most of all, I thought of Killian. Death. Grim. Reaper. Of all the things that he could have been, being Death was what I would have least expected. It still didn't seem real when I thought about it, I mean come on? But... if Death was a person then Killian had to be him. He was powerful. I now knew why.
Though that wasn't why I thought of him. Every time he crossed my mind—which was a lot—I grew angry and impatience. Where was he? I thought he was protecting me, but he had been gone all week. I knew he didn't need me to see him to keep me safe but...
He pissed me off. I couldn't explain my frustration.
I could call his name again and he might come, but I didn't want to be the one that caved first. So I didn't. I tossed and turned on the bed before pressing my face into a pillow. I screamed and picked my head back up. I looked around my room like I expected him to suddenly be there. I walked to the window and stared outside. I paced. I scribbled furiously in my notebook still expecting him to appear.
The week passed so slowly waiting on him to show up. But he never did. I thought about his other appearance all week and decided I was over it. He was scary, but I reacted badly. I just wanted him to randomly appear like he always had before. Explain everything so that I could understand. Tell me he wasn't some monster. Tell me he was protecting me so that I'd actually feel safe. I wanted him to tell me who he was, not Ryan. Now I probably knew and he hadn't been the one to tell me, which frustrated me.
Couldn't he see how I felt?
Only two weeks, that's the length of time Killian has been in my life and he managed to change everything. The way I felt even seemed different. He was now a part of my life and I hadn't liked it from the very beginning. But now all I felt was...
Lonely. And afraid.
I sat back down on my bed and cradled the pillow.
Chapter Ten
I dropped a can of biscuits on my right foot the next morning while making breakfast. I grabbed my foot, hopping around in agony until the pain turned to a dull ache. I found myself in the floor, inspecting the new bruise. This was all Killian's fault. I was so occupied with thoughts of him, wondering where he was that I kept screwing up.
Mom talked me into watching a movie with her, some romantic comedy. I got up and went to my room forty-five minutes in, the male lead was only irritating me. I knew I was a fuse waiting to blow. I slammed my bedroom door. And it was all his fault...
My mood was getting worse. Everything was driving me crazy just because he was avoiding me! I walked past my full body mirror and stopped, glaring at my reflection. “Don't look at me like that.” Yeah, I was going insane, but maybe I was trying to be humorous. Only I wasn't funny.
I was angry. Killian appeared into my life one night and flipped it upside down telling me of demons. That I was some Vessel. And I could have went along with my life just fine, completely unaware of it all if he hadn't stepped in. Ghosts were enough trouble. But after dumping all that crap on me, he goes and what? Disappeared?
Okay… I knew that I was partially… mostly to blame and I’d be dead already if it wasn’t for him, but still…
Why me? Why? I was doing a bit self-loathing and 'why, universe, why are you so cruel to me' when Tess barged into my room unexpectedly. “You ready?” She asked like I had a clue what she was talking about.
“I wasn't aware I was going anywhere?” I frowned.
“Ryan's waiting, hurry!” she snapped. “He wants you to come to his practice.” I rolled my eyes, feeling my rage boiling over. He was going overboard.
“I can't. Mom went to the store and I have to stay home with Alex.”
Alex must have been in the hallway. “I don't mind going to watch him practice.” No, Alex. You weren't supposed to say that, but then he went and gave me puppy dog eyes standing in my doorway. Tess smiled. “I want to get out of the house.” He went on.
I sighed. Thirty minutes later, we were on the bleachers watching the team practice on the field. Alex was walking around the track, smiling. Well, it wasn't a total loss. Alex looked happy and was getting exercise. I also noticed him staring at the players with admiration and longing? Did he want to play? Did Mom know?
“Are you dating my brother behind my back? He's been up your ass all week. More than usual.” Tess sat beside me.
“No, of course not,” I blubbered. I couldn't tell her the truth.
“That's true. I would be the first to know.” She smiled and I felt the guilt eating me alive. She didn't know anything; she could be in danger just sitting next to me.
I was horrible.
Ryan waved at us from the field, but I turned my head away. They practiced a few plays and I continuously sighed. The wind blew with a heavy chill. I covered my arms. That was right. It was October now, warm days were dwindling, maybe but a few were left before the cold settled in for good.
“Mike looks so sexy when he's all sweaty and filthy.” I smiled and touched my lips for a moment. How nice to be normal and guy problems being the biggest issue.
“How are you two?” I attempted at a conversation.
She started grinning and I knew that look well. “We finally had sex last night.” It was surprising that it took this long, Tess wasn't one to shy away from sexual encounters. She never denied any of her past either. She accepted who she was. I wished I had her confidence.
“Well, how was it?” I asked not having the slightest bit of experience myself, but with reading came knowledge. Or at least I hoped. But experience was probably more so?
“Good,” she chirped smiling at Mike on the field. “The best so far, I'm not even lying Melanie.” I ignored the 'so far' comment wondering if that meant that she didn't think her and Mike would last.
“I'm happy for you.” And I meant it, but I was envious all the same. I wanted a taste of normal, but normal didn't want a thing to do with me.
Practice ended and the boys scattered off the field. Ryan went to Alex and they walked together. Ryan rubbed his head as they laughed about something. After that, Ryan took us to Pizza Hut. Alex was enjoying himself and that almost put me in a better mood. I caught Ryan staring at me a lot as we ate, he must want to tell me something. We hadn't spoken to each other all day, I guess he figured I was upset with him. Tess left with Mike after we ate and Ryan drove us home.
Mom was asleep in her room; it would be time for her to leave for work soon. Ryan followed us in.
“Thanks for the food,” Alex told him before kicking off his shoes and running upstairs to his room. Now, we were alone. The tension was heavy between us.
“You're upset with me.” I watched him hesitate. “Why?” He tried to pull me close, but I shoved him away.
“Ryan, I can't handle you hovering over me. You've barely left my side all week!”
“I'm worried about you.” He dropped his head down.
“I know; I understand that but I think...” The words felt like sand in my mouth, being forced to come out. “I think we should keep a distance between us, only for now. Stop contact between each other besides school. I can't risk your life.”
“You can't be serious.” He reached for my hands. Our fingers slid against each other before I pulled away. “What about you?” His voice was full of hurt and anger. “Who's going to protect you?” He clenched his fist.
“Killian.” His name fell from my tongue so quickly that I knew I believed it. There also came peace with realizing that. I believed him. That's why I was still waiting.
“He turned into a monster right in front of us.” Ryan's face was red with anger. “Have you even seen him since then?”
I looked away. “No.”
“How can you trust him. He's not like us. He's not human.” Ryan was bitter, tossing his head up and back down in aggravation.
But I kept my eyes focused on his. “He's never hurt me.”
He wasn't convinced. “You know nothing about him.”
“Lower your voice,” I hushed him, afraid of waking Mom. I hated that we were being so angry with each other. It wasn't like us at all.
“He hasn't been around to protect you all week.” He was though. “Some protector,” Ryan muttered. I wanted to smack him for being so childish. Then I realized this wasn't about being safe at all. Was this jealousy?
My expression hardened. “I'm not arguing. Go.” I turned to the front door and opened it.
Ryan's anger faded, shoulders slumped in defeat. He looked sad and maybe even afraid. “Don't make me leave when it's like this between us.” His voice was soft and I knew he was back to being levelheaded.
But our emotions had already gotten the best of us. “You're the one that's making it like this,” I hissed trying to keep my tiny voice. If I didn't hurry, my emotions were going to be spilling out of my eyes. “Do you ever stop to think about how I would feel if something were to happen to you because of me?” My voice broke, but my eyes never left his.
He pushed anyway. “What about me?” He stepped closer until his face was over mine and
grabbed my cheeks. I took that moment to close my eyes and remember the way this felt, having him so close. If only for a moment. If things had been different, if I was normal, this would be the moment his lips finally met mine. But that wasn't my reality. I opened my eyes. “How can I sit back and do nothing when the girl I love--”
I jerked away so abruptly he didn't get a chance to finish. “Don't.”
This time, I knew I hurt him. I watched his expression harden with resolve. “I won't sit back and do nothing.” He wasn't lying which was the worst part of all.
“Go, Ryan” I pointed toward the door. Before leaving, he leaned over and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. A kind gesture before stepping out the door.
I shut the door in a hurry. I gripped the doorknobs, tears escaping the prison they were locked in. I moved away from the door afraid he might hear me. My tears turned to loud sobs as I went to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and poured some milk into it. My lips trembled as the glass touched my lips. I whimpered while trying to take a drink causing the milk to run down my chin. Somehow, I was covered in it. Probably wasn't a good idea to drink something while crying. I moved to the sink and began to clean up the spilled milk on my chin and chest. It was dark out so when I stared out the window all I saw was my own reflection staring back at me. Blonde, wavy hair fell over my shoulders that needed to be washed. My eyes were puffy and red, so were my face and neck.
Seeing how pitiful I looked only made me feel worse. I stepped away from the sink and stopped. I thought I saw something move, only nothing was there. I shook my head and walked into the kitchen. I noticed it again. I looked at the wall and saw the reflection of my shadow. Now I was terrified of my own shadow, I rolled my eyes. I wiped underneath my eyes, feeling somewhat refreshed after crying. It was good to let it all out but now I had a raging headache.
I walked to the stairs, stopping once again. I looked behind me, puzzled. Hmm. I could have sworn my shadow was on the wall, how was it behind me? I was being a moron. Shadows changed with the direction I moved and the lighting. I hovered my feet over the next step... Then again, something hadn't been right.
'Til Fear Do Us Part (A Grim Awakening Book 1) Page 9
