But he needed to know she’d be okay and planned on spending the day hanging out with his big sis before he left.
“After he showed up Saturday night and I laid into him and told him we were over and he left with his tail between his legs? No. Haven’t heard a peep.”
Thing was, that didn’t sound much like the guy that Travis knew Rick to be. He had a sinking feeling in his gut that with his cover blown, he was momentarily thrown off, but the guy would be back. “You’re doing okay, though?”
“I haven’t entirely fallen apart. Might have spent the past two days crying, but I’m all cried out now. Just…tired. Allie is coming by later and we’re going to a movie, so that should help things. How are you doing?”
He had been about to take another pull from his beer when she’d asked, and he froze. What did she think she knew? “Doing fine.” He took a drink and waited.
There goes the sigh. “Travis, don’t tell me that whatever was going on between you and Meredith is over just like that.” She paused, staring down into her tea. “Allie told me about finding Meredith that night. In the restroom. Crying. And it seems that it was all on account…of you.”
She’d been crying? He’d known she was upset, but to have actually cried?
Damn it. He wasn’t going to feel bad about this. She’d made her choices. He glanced over at Claire, who was studying him. He sure as hell wasn’t talking about this with her, either. He remained silent.
But it didn’t appear that his sister cared whether he participated in the conversation or not, as she continued, shaking her head in bafflement. “Meredith crying over you. Sounded crazy to me, knowing what I do about that woman. But Allie is convinced that she’s trying. Meredith even apologized for all the bad blood between them.”
Okay, that did surprise him. It had to have taken a huge effort on her part to swallow her pride like that. “Good. No reason for Allie to have to go on with that weighing on her. Clean slate and all.”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s all you’re going to say about this? Well, tough, Travis. I’m not about to let this go. You’re the only family I have, and I care for you. I want to see you happy.”
“Then drop it.”
“I know that you and Meredith grew close, and I know what we said. How she can’t change. But is it so inconceivable that maybe she has? That people can change?”
“You know better than I do that people don’t change.”
Claire put her teacup down and leaned forward, trying to make eye contact. “I don’t think you can draw the same comparison between Meredith and Dad. Or Mom. Dad talked the talk, but I think we both can agree that he never really wanted to change. He was saying what he needed to appease Mom. Keep her happy. And God help me, I loved Mom, but I wish she had been stronger. Had resisted. But she loved him too much.”
“Which is precisely why getting mixed up with someone like that is a mistake. You become blind and eventually they’ll return to their ways, hurting people, but you won’t care because all you want…is them,” he finished lamely.
“I’ll be the first to admit that Mom and Dad’s relationship was toxic. His death killed her heart, her soul, and she never was the same, never able to find any joy. But we aren’t our parents, Travis. You’re not Mom and Meredith isn’t Dad. Dad only thought about himself, and I think we can both agree that with recent events, Meredith has proven she loves her daughter so much she was willing to risk her life to save her. Her life. Everything. That’s a brave woman. And maybe someone not as selfish as we both thought.”
The words were hard to hear, but they touched something inside him. Meredith definitely had her faults, Lord knew. She was strong willed, and when she had her back in a corner, she came out fighting. Her first instinct was to strike. To push away those who might have loved her.
Hell, could he blame her? Her mom taking off when she was a kid, without a word—that had to mess someone up. Husbands number one and three—and even two, though his leaving was only by death—hadn’t helped. The people Meredith cared about had a tendency to run out on her.
The truth slammed him in the chest.
He hadn’t done much better.
He’d run out on her, too. Hadn’t let her explain what had happened that night with Annabeth and the mayor. He’d just judged her and decided that she was the same old Meredith.
But he could see a little of why she might have behaved like she did. Hadn’t she mentioned walking in on her first husband in a similar compromising position? And Annabeth’s cruel words…hell. He didn’t know. It had been a lot to process.
Sure, maybe her reaction was over-the-top.
People didn’t change overnight, but little by little, they could change habits. And his sister was right. She wasn’t a selfish bastard only thinking of herself. Like his old man. She was a strong and protective mother willing to fight to the end to save her daughter. She was warm and fiery and spirited, and he—
Hell. He was pretty certain he loved her.
But the way he’d turned away from her, left her when she was vulnerable. Not helped when he could barely meet her gaze yesterday as they flew home. He’d asked her to trust him, and then he’d blown it.
Well, sitting around here wasn’t going to help the situation. He needed to see Mer. Make her realize that he was here. And not going anywhere.
His sister had picked up her cup again and was watching him over the rim with the slightest twinkle of satisfaction in those blue eyes. “Going somewhere?”
“I need to see a woman about an apology.”
“About damn time. Being a big sister can really be a lot of work sometimes.”
…
Meredith couldn’t believe she’d let Allie witness this moment, but the woman was being amazingly sympathetic, patting her back as she went on and on. The sound of the shower turning off upstairs finally brought her to her senses.
She couldn’t let Darcy see her fall apart like this.
Wiping her eyes, she grabbed a few mugs from the cupboard. “I know you like those fancy sweeteners in your coffee, but all I’ve got is half-and-half.”
Allie flinched. “Not anymore. Half-and-half is just fine.” They took their mugs to the table and took a seat. “Meredith, what you’re feeling is perfectly natural, you don’t have to be embarrassed. You’ve been under a lot of stress these past few days. If it had been Violet?” She shook her head forcefully. “I would have completely fallen apart. The first day. And to have everything come to an end with almost disastrous consequences…all I can say is the stress of it all and relief had to eventually take its toll. I’m only glad I could be here. You know, when I write about it on the school’s blog.”
Meredith stared at her in horror until she saw Allie’s bottom lip quiver and she finally burst into laughter. “I’m just kidding—jeez, I wouldn’t do that. Not anymore,” she said and laughed again. This time Meredith managed a smile, and then a chuckle.
“Saint Allie has a sense of humor. Who knew?” she said and brought her cup to her mouth.
“Wait. What? Saint Allie? You don’t really call me that, do you?”
Meredith smiled and took a sip of the coffee, shrugging. “Well, you’ve always had a tendency to be overly self-sacrificing. A martyr might have been more appropriate.”
Okay, this time Meredith found herself laughing as Allie watched, taking another moment to join her.
Darcy stood at the door, her mouth ajar. “What universe have I just walked into?”
Allie jumped from her chair and wrapped her arms around Darcy. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you’re here and safe.” She brushed her hand down Darcy’s hair as she studied her. “You look a whole heck of a lot better than your mother. When I saw her face I nearly screamed.”
“Very funny,” Meredith shot back. “It’s not that bad.” Okay, it was actually kind of bad, with purple bruises under her cheek and a swollen eye and cracked mouth. But she wasn’t planning on posing for any portraits, so it would be fin
e.
Allie put her arm around Darcy’s shoulder and guided her to an empty seat. She grabbed the other cup and filled it up for Darcy.
“Have you spoken to Bryce?” Allie asked.
Meredith froze. They hadn’t discussed Bryce or his father yet, but Darcy was aware that Peter Bauer had been the man behind it all. Meredith hadn’t decided yet how she felt about Bryce, but she would admit the kid had seemed really devastated by Darcy’s kidnapping. Learning it was your own dad who’d been responsible couldn’t be easy.
Darcy turned shy, though, and stared at her coffee. “Not yet.” She cast a nervous look Meredith’s way.
“It’s okay, Darce. I don’t want to have any secrets between us. And I’m sorry that you thought you had to hide the truth from me in the first place. I…like the kid.” She hadn’t exactly choked on the words, but nearly.
Darcy smiled now. “We’ll keep working on that. I might call him. Later. For now, I just want to spend time with my mom.”
Meredith almost dropped her mug. But she met Allie’s gaze and saw the smile in her eyes.
So maybe Saint Allie wasn’t so bad after all.
The doorbell rang again, and she rose to get it. Who now? Maybe it was Claire wanting to be bosom buddies or something. Right.
As she drew nearer the door, though, her heart began to pound, her pulse quickening. Because the figure at the door was large. Hulking. Not female. And familiar.
She sucked in a deep breath and smoothed her hands absentmindedly down her dress and then her hair. It was a mess. And dear God, her face. But he’d seen it already, so he shouldn’t gasp in horror.
Slowly, she creaked open the door, his face both welcome and terrifying. “Travis.”
He nodded and looked around, rubbing the back of his head. “Do you have a minute?”
That didn’t sound good. Not good at all. But she waved him in, leading him to the small front room. There was a set of French doors, but from the sounds of laugher from the kitchen, she was certain their conversation would be private.
She sat down, clasping her hands tightly in front of her. “Are you worried about your payment? My father or his lawyers will probably arrange that the same way they contacted you. But if not, I’m happy to pay.”
He didn’t sit, just stood over her. And blinked. “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that. And no, I’m not here about payment.”
God. Why had she jumped to that conclusion? Maybe because she couldn’t think of any other reason he’d be here. He’d made it clear before what he thought about her. That she’d never change.
“Why are you here then?”
“I just had a conversation with my sister. She sends her best, actually. In all seriousness,” he added, because he’d probably seen the doubt on her face. “We talked about some stuff. About our parents. About me. About you. She made me face a few truths. And I know that I’m not completely reasonable when it comes to believing that people can change, but I realize that you had tried to explain what happened the other night and I wouldn’t give you a chance.”
“You were right not to. There was no excuse. I made the choice in that moment not to be the bigger person.” More softly, she added, “You have to know I would never have followed through with that threat. Ever.”
He nodded, his green eyes so clear as he studied her. “I know. And I also recognize that you did pull back the claws…eventually. Which for you was…progress.”
She raised her brows, a move that caused her to wince against the pain. He thought she was making progress?
“That day back in high school,” he continued, “when you were crying in the locker room? It was the first time I’d seen you do anything so human.”
She nodded. Remembering. “I hated you in that moment. Hated that you’d seen me so vulnerable. I look back now and don’t know why it even bothered me so much—my father not showing up for the crowning of the homecoming court. It all seems silly.”
“To a seventeen-year-old girl, I’d bet that kind of thing would be important.”
She looked away. Remembering the pain that once again she hadn’t been important enough to warrant an afternoon of her father’s time. Instead he’d left on a business trip to Houston. Leaving her alone the entire weekend. “Maybe. But you didn’t deserve what I did to you. Not when even after all of our quibbling, you were still so nice to me.” She swallowed and met his gaze again. “If I could take back anything, any of the rotten stuff I’ve ever done, I’d start with that. Ordering those boys to do that to you was beyond horrible. It was vicious. I’m so sorry, Travis. I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a hundred times more if you’ll say that maybe someday you’ll find a way to forgive me.”
He just stared at her. His face an unreadable mask. Not saying a word.
It had been asking a lot. Forgiveness. And she could see that she’d been asking for the moon. What she’d done was unforgivable.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. If he couldn’t forgive her, then what hope did she have that anyone would?
Although this man, here, was the person whose forgiveness she needed the most.
And that knowledge terrified her.
…
Travis couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She was asking him to forgive her. When the reason he’d come here was to ask for her forgiveness. To apologize for not giving her a chance.
Worse, for leaving her when she needed him the most.
“Mer. I’m not here because I need you to apologize. If it’s forgiveness you need, you’ve got it. Somewhere over the past few days, not sure exactly when, I forgave you those sins. It’s in the past.”
She looked stunned. And hopeful. Her face, despite the bruising and swelling, actually brightened. Still beautiful despite those injuries. Inside and out. “You forgive me, then?”
“That’s what I said.” But he smiled to lessen the sarcasm. “Even I can see that you’ve changed. And frankly, I’m not so sure you were as rotten as we all thought you were back then. Not even you. Maybe all along, deep down inside was the wonderful, strong, and generous woman you are now, but you kept her buried. Afraid to let anyone in.”
He sobered. She had no reason to believe him. He’d said he’d believe in her, and at the first sign of trouble he’d taken off. He’d seen it in her eyes when she looked at him at the airport. The hurt. The betrayal.
He’d failed her.
“Mer. When you needed me to believe in you, to listen to you, I brushed you off. I walked away. Left you to battle your pain just like everyone else in your life has. And for that I’m sorry.” He brought his hand to his heart as he said this. “I asked you to trust me and then I let you down. That will never happen again. No matter what awful shit you almost do or start to do, I’m not going to walk away. I might threaten to kick your ass if you even try it, but I’m not going to leave. Ever.”
She didn’t look like she was following. For a brilliant woman, she was being awfully slow on the uptake.
“I know we didn’t talk about what we were going to do when this was over. You and me. But now that it’s over, I’m here because I want to ask you out on a—d-d—” Hell. He was stuttering. Like a damn schoolboy afraid to ask out the homecoming queen. “A date.”
Her shock slipped away and a smile tugged instead at that sumptuous mouth. “You’re here because you want to date me?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. Figured you might want someone to spend your lonely nights with after your kid leaves for college. Might as well be me.”
“But what about your job? Isn’t it in California?”
“My job takes me everywhere and anywhere I want. I can be based out of wherever. And with Claire going through a tough time, sticking close to home might not be such a bad idea.”
The giggling made both of them realize their conversation had been overheard. He raised his brows. “Does someone out there find this funny?”
Allie and Darcy peered in, grins pasted on their faces. Allie spoke. “
We’re just both laughing because we can’t believe we haven’t heard any kissing. Jeez, Travis. Grow a set.” But she winked and grabbed Darcy and left them alone.
He looked back at Meredith. “I think they just challenged my manhood.”
“Well, she is a teacher. She probably knows what she’s talking about.”
“Is that right?” he said and took a step toward her. It was hard to miss the excited look on her face. The flush even through the bruises. “Because I seem to remember you screaming half the night how much of a man I was. Maybe even crying. Just a little.”
“I did not.” She almost yelled, giving him the rise he was looking for.
“Oh, right, that was me.”
He grabbed her hands and pulled her up. She didn’t resist. Just looked a little shy. He placed his hand under her chin and brought it up. “I’ll try to be gentle,” he said and drew nearer until he felt her breath on his lips.
“Like hell,” she said and brought her mouth to his—always in control, this woman—in a crushing kiss that turned to softness as she opened her mouth farther and he tasted coffee and maybe a little honey.
This was what made it all worth it. High school. Her terrorizing him since she first met him.
This moment.
…
Meredith studied the yearbook, unable to stop the wide grin that split her face. “It really was a mullet. I mean, you were just asking to be teased.”
Travis pulled off the pillow he’d put on his head when Meredith had dug out her senior yearbook a few minutes ago. “It wasn’t a mullet. I just needed a trim.”
“Oh, sure. Just four inches off the back,” she said and giggled. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his stubbly cheek.
It was almost midnight, and they’d spent the past couple hours getting…better acquainted. Much better acquainted. In the bed, the shower, and downstairs on the kitchen counter.
Against Meredith’s initial protest, Darcy had been determined to leave Travis and her mother some time alone together after their declaration earlier, announcing she was going to Allie’s to have dinner with Violet and maybe watch a video or two. One glance at Travis, who had been giving her that slight smile with the knowing gleam in his eyes that told her just what plans he had for her, and Meredith’s protest had died on her lips.
Love You Madly Page 22
