by Jamilia Fair
Frozen in time for eternity
I get so excited when I hold your hand,
And just the slightest touch sends me right to heaven.
I forgot to that it’s supposed to feel like this/
You inspire my desire,
And showed me what I missed
Once she is standing in front of me, tears swell in my eyes. “Who here gives this woman away?” questions the priest.
“We do,” her parents say.
Each of them turn to her and kiss her on the cheek before turning to me. “Take care of our baby girl, Mr. Keegan,” her father says.
I nod. “I will. You have my word.”
He then turns to Tabitha and hugs her. “I’m proud of you,” he says and takes a step back and places her hand in mine before taking his wife’s hand and moving to take their seats. When I meet Tabitha’s gaze again, I feel a tear roll down my cheek, and she lifts her hand to wipe it away as she moves to stand directly in front of me.
“You sure clean up great,” she says, smiling through her tears.
“And you look breathtakingly beautiful.” I lift a hand and wipe away her fallen tears. “You look so freaking beautiful. I am the luckiest man in the world.”
“And I’m the luckiest woman in the world.”
“Today is a celebration. A celebration of love, of commitment, of friendship, of family, and of two people who are in it for forever. We gather here to unite these two people in marriage. The essence of this commitment is the acceptance of each other in entirety, as lover, companion, and friend. A good and balanced relationship is one in which neither person is overpowered nor absorbed by the other, one in which neither person is possessive of the other, and one in which both give their love freely and without jealousy. Marriage, ideally, is sharing responsibilities, hopes, and dreams.” He then turns to look at Tabitha and me. “Jeremiah and Tabitha have prepared their own vows. Jeremiah.”
Taking a deep breath, I turn to Tabitha and take her hands in mine. “I take you to be my other half for life. I promise, above all else, to live in truth with you and to always communicate fully, fearlessly, and honestly. I give you my heart and soul as a sanctuary of warmth and peace. I pledge my love, devotion, faith, and honor to you as we join our lives together.” I choke back tears as I hold her gaze. “And on this day, I promise to walk with you, hand in hand, on whatever journey we must take, and no matter where it leads us, I promise to live, learn, and love with you every day until death does us part.”
Tears streaming down her face, she lifts a hand to wipe the fallen tears from my cheeks. “That was beautiful, Jer,” she cries.
I lift her hands to my lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she says.
“Tabitha, it’s your turn,” says the priest.
She takes a deep breath and meets my gaze. “You are my best friend, mentor, playmate, confidant, and my greatest challenge, but most importantly, you are the love of my life. You make me the happiest woman in the world, more than I could have ever imagined, and I’ve fallen deeper in love with you than I ever thought possible. You make me a better person, and you make me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. So I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which becomes our life, starting today.” She gently squeezes my hands as more tears run down her cheeks. “God must love me very much to send me my other half in such a wonderful package. You should know that’s why I’m marrying you,” she says with a laugh.
Everyone chuckles.
Suddenly, before she can say anything else, the church doors burst open, and Jessica storms in with a gun. Instantly, I step in front of Tabitha just as my men move to protect Jake, Melissa, and both my and Tabitha’s parents.
“Jessica,” I hiss, glaring at her. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“What does it look like, Jeremiah? I’m crashing your wedding. I have a reason why you two should not be joined in holy matrimony,” she snaps.
“You should really leave,” Barbara snaps from her place beside Tabitha. “Like now.”
“Yeah, before you find yourself eight feet under,” Brooke adds.
Jessica glares at them and points the gun at them. “Shut the hell up before I shoot you both.”
Tabitha quickly moves to stand in front of them, pushing them behind her. “Leave them alone,” she hisses.
Jessica then points her gun at her. “You. You stole everything from me. You stole the life I was supposed to have.”
“I didn’t steal anything from you, you psychotic twit,” Tabitha snaps.
“You stole Jeremiah from me!” she screams. “He was supposed to be with me!”
“He doesn’t want you, and he never will,” Tabitha snaps.
“Jessica, she didn’t steal me from you. We were never dating. It was never going to happen,” I hiss, taking a step in her direction. I really need to get that gun from her before she hurts anyone else I love.
She turns the gun on me with a glare etched across her face. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve been there for you since we were kids. I watched you date and discard women like candy every single fucking day, and every single fucking day, I hoped and prayed you’d finally come to your damn senses and realize how I felt about you.” She steps closer. “I thought, eventually, you’d realize how in love with you I was and ask me out, so I waited. Like the good best friend I was, I waited for you, watching you date woman, after woman, after woman. I was never really worried about things getting too serious because your relationships never really lasted longer than three to five months.”
“I could never be with someone like you, Jessica. You’re fucking crazy. You tried to kill Tabitha,” I snap, wrapping an arm around Tabitha’s waist, pulling her into my side.
“It’s not my fault! This is your fault! If you hadn’t become infatuated with this bitch, then none of this would have happened. You were never supposed to fall in love with her, Jeremiah. You were supposed to dump her and move on to the next unworthy bitch.”
Tabitha steps out of my arms and steps forward. “Are you out of your damn mind? You’re going to blame your crazy and insane actions on him? The only person to blame is yourself. You did this, you crazy bitch,” Tabitha snaps, balling her hands into fists at her side. “You tried to kill me with poison, and then, you sent a rapist after me.”
The church erupted in gasps.
“I didn’t know he was a rapist. He wasn’t supposed to try and rape you,” she tries to explain.
Tabitha goes to move closer, but I grab her wrist to stop her. “You stupid cunt! What in the hell did you think he was going to do? Did you think he was going to ask me to politely take my clothes off? You sent a man to try and make it look like I was cheating on Jeremiah. The only way he was going to make that happen was to try and force himself onto me, you fucking idiot. I mean, how fucking stupid can you be?”
That pisses Jessica off even more, which causes her to cock her gun and point it at Tabitha.
“Keep talking, you black bitch, and I’ll fucking shoot you where you stand.”
“Please! Don’t hurt her!” Janice cries out.
“Fuck you! Why don’t you put that gun down and take this out in the street? Let me show you how serious I was when I said if you let those words escape your pretty little mouth again, I’d hit you in your goddamn mouth.”
“Don’t fuck with me,” Jessica snaps.
Stepping forward, I hold up a hand to stop her. “Leave her out of this, Jessica. This is between you and me.”
She turns to me and smiles a sinister smile. “Yeah, you’re right. This is between you and me. You’re the one who broke my heart, who used me up and tossed me aside like yesterday’s garbage every single day.” She lifts the gun, pointing it at my chest. “You deserve to feel the pain I’ve been feeling all these years. You deserve to pay for everything you’ve done to me, for leading me on.”
I stare at her incredulously. “Leading you on? What the hell are you talking about?
I’ve never done or said anything to lead you on or make you believe I wanted anything more than friendship. I’ve wanted nothing but a friendship with you. If you got anything from me other than that, then you have no one to blame but yourself,” I hiss loudly. “You drew those conclusions on your own.”
Her face twists up in a way I’ve never seen before. “Why can’t you just love me? Why couldn’t you just be with me? I could have made you happy,” she cries, tears running down her face, as she steps a bit closer.
“Mom, dad, get Melissa, Jake, and the rest of the kids out of here,” Tabitha says.
“You don’t deserve to be happy,” Jessica says madly. “And you don’t deserve to live, especially a happily ever after.”
“Jessica, just leave!” Tabitha hisses.
“No! I’m going to show you what it’s like to lose someone you care deeply about,” she says.
Everything seems to go in slow motion. Jessica pulls the trigger, aiming the gun at me, but before the bullet can hit me, Tabitha steps out in front of me, taking the bullet for me. Then, another gunshot rings, and Jessica’s body jerks and drops to the floor with a bullet between her eyes.
“Tabitha!” Barbara and Brooke scream.
Dropping to my knees, I pull Tabitha into my arms. “Oh my God. What did you do? Why would you do this?” I cry out and remove my handkerchief from my pocket and press it against her abdomen, adding as much pressure to the wound as I can. “Someone call an ambulance!”
She stares up at me. “I’m sorry, but I had to.”
“Why?”
“Because Jake and Melissa have already lost one parent this year; they don’t need to lose another one,” she says, lifting a shaking hand to cup my cheek. “They need you, Jeremiah.”
“They need you, too, Tabitha. They love and adore you so freaking much, and losing you would hurt them. And as selfish as this may sound, I need you, too. I can’t lose you, ever. We’re supposed to spend the rest of our lives together with our family.”
She takes in a shaky breath. “I love you and our family so much. I never thought I could be this happy, but I am. My life has been filled with nothing but excitement, happiness, and adventure since you and the kids walked into my life.” Her body begins to slightly shake. “So, thank you for everything, for giving me a family, and making me the happiest I’ve ever been. Please, tell the kids that I’m sorry, and I love them very much.”
I shake my head and pull her closer. “No, do not do this. Do not start talking like that. You aren’t going anywhere, so put an end to this nonsense. You’re going to make a full recovery,” I say, tears rolling down my face.
Tears start running down her cheeks as I stare into her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jeremiah. I’m sorry for all of this. If I hadn’t—”
I lower my lips to her forehead “Don’t blame yourself for any of this. If anyone is to blame for this, it’s Jessica.”
“Is she…”
I nod. “She’s gone.”
Suddenly, her eyes start to drift closed, and her breathing becomes difficult. “Tabitha?” I gently shake her.
“I’m just so tired,” she says, closing her eyes again.
“Tabitha, please, stay awake. The ambulance is on its way. Just stay with me,” I beg her.
She opens her eyes slightly, looking at me from beneath her long lashes. “I love you, Jeremiah Keegan, and I am honored to have lived my life, knowing you loved me.”
“Please, don’t do this to me. I can’t lose you, Tabitha. What am I supposed to do without you? If I lose you, I lose everything,” I plead, trying to keep her talking and awake.
“This isn’t goodbye, Jeremiah. This is a thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, happiness, and adventure. Thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. The memories I have of you and our family will forever be cherished. But most of all, thank you for showing me what real, true love is.” She lifts a hand to my cheek. “Love doesn’t die with death. Death doesn’t conquer all, but love does. Love always wins in the end, by loving more, loving again, and loving without fear. I don’t want you to feel guilty for any of this, but I know you. You won’t be able to help it. But can you do me a favor?”
I nod. “Anything.”
“Be happy. Live your life. And fall in love again,” she says softly.
Leaning down, I press my lips to her forehead for a few seconds. “I love you,” I say before slowly drawing back. Her eyes are closed, so I gently shake her. “Tabitha?”
Nothing.
“Tabitha? Baby, open your eyes, please.”
Still nothing.
Closing my eyes, I pull her further into my arms, crushing her against me as tears run down my face, and my body shakes.
“No!”
Epilogue
Jeremiah
(19)
Three years later:
“Jeremiah! Incoming!”
I look up just in time to see my father chasing after Bri. I can’t help but laugh at the fact that my old man can’t catch the small two-year-old toddler.
“Oh, you think this is funny?” he questions, leaning against the kitchen counter for support to catch his breath.
I crouch down and pick up a giggling Bri. “Yes, I do.” I meet my father’s gaze. “You can’t catch a two-year-old.”
He glares at me. “One, Briana’h is fast for a two-year-old. And secondly, we’ll see how fast you are at my age, and you’re the one chasing around your own grandchildren.”
I frown at his comment. “I have to let her out of the house and my sight for her to have her own children.”
I clutch her closer to my chest as she plays with my hair. She’s only two, but the thought of her growing up and having children of her own pisses me off. I mean, I know she’s going to grow up and move out—when I’m ready to let her go, that is—but that means I won’t be able to keep the boys away. The mere thought of some fucker trying to talk to her makes my blood boil.
“Look, son, as much as the thought pisses you off, you have to prepare yourself because it’s going to happen.” I meet my father’s gaze. “That day is going to come, but right now, just enjoy raising your beautiful little girl.”
I look down at my little girl, and I am met with a set of familiar eyes. They are the exact replica of her mother’s. Everything about her, from the color of her eyes, all the way down to her stubbornness, is her mother. And she’s just as beautiful as she is.
“Yeah, you’re right, Dad.” I kiss her hair and lift my gaze to meet his. “Besides, today is a good day, a perfect day, and I’m too happy to be angry.”
He smiles. “Two years. How does it feel?”
I take a deep breath. “Surreal. I never thought I could be or deserved to be this happy.” I laugh and kiss my daughter’s head again. “But I am, and I owe it all to that beautiful woman upstairs.”
“You’ve always deserved to be this happy, Jeremiah. You just had bad luck finding it is all.”
“Well, my luck changed the day she walked into my life.”
“And I couldn’t be happier for you,” he says. “I’m proud of you, son, and I’m proud to be your father.”
“Thank you, Dad. I’m proud to be your son.”
Suddenly, I hear screaming then running. “Brian! You stop running and get back here this instant!”
Amber.
Dad turns around just in time to see a smaller version of me running our way. Brian looks just like me. From the dark curls that frame his face, down to his nearing cocky attitude. The only thing that wasn’t me were his eyes. Those belong to his mother.
“Da!” He crashes into my legs. “Da!”
Laughing, I reach down and lift him with my free arm. “Arrrg! That child of yours is just… he is his father’s son,” Amber groans in frustration.
I laugh at her. “What did he do?”
“He won’t let me comb his hair.”
I look at my son’s dark curls then Amber. “He likes his curls, as
do I and his mother.” I shrug. “Let them be.”
She groans. “Fine.”
“Jeremiah!” This time, it’s my mother who is calling my name. I turn around to see her rushing through the back door and into the kitchen. “What are you doing in here? It’s about to start. Give the twins to your father and Amber, and let’s go.”
With a chuckle, I hand the twins over to Amber and my father. “I’m serious, Amber. His curls are off limits.”
She waves me off. “I heard you the first time. Bye.”
As I stand, waiting for my wife, memories of my first wedding take over my thoughts. Tabitha and I had just finished saying our vows when Jessica burst through the church doors with a gun. She started crying and cursing at me for choosing Tabitha instead of her. She went on about how she’d been waiting for me to see her, to fall in love with her, and to want her. I could have lied to her, but I didn’t. I wouldn’t. I tried to talk her down, but she wouldn’t listen. It was too late. She was too far gone. She’d raised the gun to shoot me. She pulled the trigger, but Tabitha stepped in front of me, and the bullet hit her instead. She died in my arms not long after.
The sound of Shania Twain’s “From This Moment” pulls me from my thoughts just in time for me to look up and see my beautiful wife standing at the other end of the aisle. A smile spread across my lips and hers as our eyes meet.
My Tabitha.
She looks as beautiful today as she did the day we first met.
From this moment, life has begun.
From this moment, you are the one.
Right beside you is where I belong,
From this moment on.
From this moment, I have been blessed.
I live only for your happiness.
And for your love, I give my last breath.
From this moment on,
I give my hand to you with all my heart.
I can’t wait to live my life with you; I can’t wait to start.
You and I will never be apart.
My dreams came true because of you.
Again, I am pulled back into the memory of our first wedding. I remember the moment I watched her eyes close; my entire world fell apart. My heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe, and I felt like I, too, had died. I was so distraught I had not even heard Remy fire his gun behind me, killing Jessica. I didn’t even remember Jason pulling Tabitha from my arms, laying her down at the altar and starting CPR. He did chest compressions and mouth to mouth. For three minutes, my brother fought to bring my wife back to me. But right when I thought all was lost, that my life would forever be filled with darkness, I heard her. She gasped. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. I distinctively remember the sound of my own howling cry as I lunged for her, gently pulling her into my chest as we waited for the ambulance.
