Cowboy For A Season (The New West)

by Janalyn Knight

  She sighed and told him about a place that had the best Mexican food this side of Texas. And, this time, she didn't step away from his touch as he walked her outside. She even leaned into him, just a little.

  When they got on their way, she gave Alex directions and lay her head back, closing her eyes.

  For once, he was quiet. He finally slowed and turned on his blinker.

  She opened her eyes, and they were pulling into the small dirt parking lot of the little restaurant.

  He smiled at her. "Better?"

  "Yeah. Thanks." Somehow, this man always anticipated her needs.

  As he opened his door, she opened hers. He stopped and turned to her. "Hannah, I'm taking you to dinner. Please allow me to help you out of the truck. It is what a gentleman does."

  Her mouth dropped open, and she could only nod as heat rose up her neck. He wanted to treat her like a lady, and she didn't remember how to act like one anymore.

  Alex opened her door and took her hand, gently helping her down from his tall truck. "I'll take care of you, Hannah, when you're with me. You deserve it." He looked into her eyes and held her gaze, urging her to believe in her worth.

  Under his spell, she said slowly, "Thank you, Alex."

  Hand at her back, he walked her inside the glass doors of the little restaurant.

  When they were seated, rather than taking the chair across from her, he sat in the one next to her and smiled. "Tell me what is the best food here, Hannah."

  "I love their carne guisada plate, but their fajita plate is amazing, too."

  "I'll have the carne guisada." He folded his menu and laid it on the table. "And a beer."

  Laying her menu down, she said, "I'll have the same thing, with iced tea." Having him so close set her nerves on edge. His cologne filled her nose, and it was so damn sexy. She knew it couldn't be real, but heat emanated from him, warming her from the inside. Imagining him slipping his arm around her sent tingles tickling their way up her belly. She could feel her face getting red and looked away from him.

  "Hannah?"

  Still looking away, she said, "Uh-huh?"

  He took her hand from her lap and held it between his own. "Whatever is wrong, I'm here. You're safe with me. Okay?"

  Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. She hadn't fooled him or anyone else. Obviously, she was a wreck. She squeezed his hand. "Thanks." She couldn't quite look at him. Not yet. Instead she let her gaze travel over all the trinkets from Mexico hanging on the walls—beautiful sombreros, maracas, and little straw dolls. When her face felt its normal color, she turned back to him.

  He gazed solemnly at her.

  Their waitress came up just then, and they gave their orders.

  Alex released her hand and cupped her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb before saying, "Chloe will love her new dresses. You give them to her. Monday, maybe you can help her try them on."

  Hannah's heart leapt. Could this man read her mind? Smiling, she gripped his shoulder. "I'd like that. Thank you, Alex." She could almost feel the little girl in her arms right now. Pulse racing, she took several swallows of the iced tea the waitress set on the table.

  Their dinners arrived a few minutes later, and Alex kept up a lively conversation, telling her about some of his near misses when he bucked off cantankerous bulls. Her appetite came back, and she demolished her carne guisada. It was hard to stay down around Alex. His up-beat personality could pull anyone out of the dumps.

  Ever the gentleman, he helped her into the truck when they left the restaurant, setting her belly tingling again.

  ALEX GLANCED AT HANNAH as he climbed into his truck. She had her head back, eyes closed, and her arm slung over the center console. The poor woman was exhausted, emotionally more than anything. What the hell had happened tonight? She'd scared him, disappearing like that. He'd even gone out to his truck. Something was terribly wrong. Hannah needed help.

  He kept his speed down and eased to a stop at lights. Hannah must completely relax. It had turned dark while they were eating. When he left Carlsbad behind, only the glow from a half-moon and the stars illuminated the night. He picked up Hannah's hand and squeezed it gently. "Hannah?"

  She looked at him muzzily. "Huh?"

  "Can we talk?"

  She blinked a couple of times. "About what?"

  He squeezed her hand tighter. "What hurts you, Hannah? Tell me. Please." Holding her gaze, he did everything in his power to give her the courage to open her heart.

  Raising her hand to his lips, he kissed her fingers.

  Face slack, she stared at him, her eyes unfocused, as if she saw things he couldn't see.

  Glancing back and forth between the road and her face, he waited for her to speak.

  Finally, she said, "I can't have babies." Strained with pain, her voice broke, and she swallowed hard then stared out the windshield. "Ty and I tried for years." She told him about being tested, the cysts, and having them removed. "Even after my surgery, I still couldn't get pregnant, though the doctor expected I would." Her voice fractured, and she covered her mouth. "Ty blamed me. I think that's why he had the affair."

  "¡Fiofó! What an asshole. If the man weren't dead, Alex would kill him. How could the man blame this sweet woman for something she couldn't help—for something that broke her heart? Ay! “This is not your fault, Hannah!”

  In silence, her tears glistened in the starlight. Either she cried her heart out long ago, or she held her pain locked so far away she couldn't cry. It didn't matter. He couldn't sit here and let her suffer like this. He slowed and pulled off the road and into the grass, then turned the truck off.

  Hannah didn't move.

  He unhooked his seatbelt and lifted the console out of the way. Moving closer to her, he said, "Hannah, come to me. Let me hold you."

  She reached up and wiped her cheeks, then eased toward him.

  That was all he needed. He lifted her to his lap and wrapped his arms around her. Cuddling her as he would a small child, he kissed her temple and said, "Meu querida, meu amor, vocȇ está seguro.”

  He rocked her, telling her she was safe, she was his sweetheart. He rocked her like he did Chloe when she woke with a bad dream. This woman had suffered terrible cruelty at the hands of her husband. Tightening his hold on her, he closed his eyes and prayed for healing for her injured mind and her broken heart.

  As he expected, Hannah fell asleep. She'd relaxed into him like a child seeking solace. Examining her face, he realized how young she looked without the tense expression she always wore. She didn't seem at all like his rock-hard little boss. He raised her fingers to his lips and kissed them. Every protective instinct he had was screaming at him to take care of her. How could he help heal this hurt? It went so deep. Somehow, he would have to. Hannah couldn't go on living like this.

  Though in an uncomfortable position, he closed his eyes and tried to relax. He wanted her to sleep at least an hour. She was completely limp in his arms, and her usually rock-hard muscles needed the break.

  Hannah actually slept over two hours before she stirred. By then his legs felt nothing and his neck cramped. Why hadn't he gotten more comfortable before he put her in his lap? It was all worth it though, to feel her melt into him.

  She opened her eyes appearing confused for a second or two. "Alex, thank you. I'm sorry I fell asleep." She struggled to get over into her seat.

  He assisted her, then moved back behind the wheel. Before he started the truck, he caught and held her gaze. "Hannah, it was my privilege to hold you." She must understand that she shouldn't be embarrassed about tonight. Letting down her barriers had been hard for her. He wanted them to stay down. Wanted her to feel comfortable talking to him.

  When he got back on the highway, he grinned at her. "Tomorrow, we will be tired. I'm glad it's Sunday."

  She smiled back uneasily. "Me, too. I'm sleeping in."

  He laughed. "You're lucky, Hannah. Chloe is a little girl who does not sleep in. I know that now."

  "Why
don't you bring her over tomorrow? I'll put her up on a horse. I know she'll love it. Stay for dinner. I'll make a casserole."

  Her invitation sounded wonderful. He found himself thinking of Hannah constantly anyway. Weekends apart from her dragged for him. "Chloe will be a real cowgirl tomorrow." He reached for Hannah's hand, and she squeezed his fingers.

  Later, he drove into her driveway and shut off the engine. After he helped her down from the truck, he picked up her hands and held her gaze. With gentle pressure, he eased her close and pulled her into a hug, resting his chin on her head. "Hannah, you're a good woman. You remember this." With his hand at her back, he walked her to her door. Somehow, he must help her find happiness. His time was limited, but with God, he could do it.

  Chapter Seven

  HANNAH'S HEART BEAT harder as Alex's truck pulled into the driveway Sunday afternoon. Anticipating his arrival had kept her on pins and needles. Despite knowing how it would end, she couldn't help wanting the man. She headed for the passenger side, where it was easier to reach Chloe in the back seat of the truck. She said, "Hey, Alex," when she opened the door, but her eyes stayed on the little girl.

  "Hey, Hannah," and he stepped out.

  Hannah pulled Chloe into her arms, kissing her, and met Alex as he rounded the truck. Damn, he had on a t-shirt again, leaving his gorgeous chest on display. No fair. "I saddled the horses. Are you two ready to ride?"

  Chloe looked at Hannah.

  She brushed wild curls from the little girl's face. "We're going to have fun today, sweetheart. Wait 'til you see."

  Alex smiled. "We’re ready."

  "Okay, we'll take the Mule." The Kawasaki Mule, a small four-wheel-drive vehicle, was indispensable on the ranch.

  When they got to the barn, she grabbed Chloe while Alex went inside and came back out leading her two horses.

  She walked over. "Chloe, meet Rusty and Hershey. They're both sweet boys." Glancing at Alex, she said, "Do you want to carry Chloe, or shall I?"

  He shrugged. "If the horse is gentle ..."

  She set Chloe on the ground. "Hold right here, sweetie," and she gave the little girl a handhold on her shirt while she checked Rusty's cinch.

  Alex did the same with Hershey. "These are quarter horses, Hannah?"

  "Yes. These two are great at working cattle. Really quick on their feet."

  Looking down, she gasped and reached for Rusty's back end. Chloe stood behind him, her tiny hand on his hock. As Hannah whisked the little girl away, Rusty flicked his tail, nothing more. Hannah shuddered. Hands shaking, she crouched down and clutched Chloe to her chest. "Honey, I told you to hold on to my shirt! Why did you let go? Never walk behind a horse. He could hurt you real bad. Do you hear me?"

  Chloe began to cry.

  Alex rushed over, leading Hershey. "What happened?"

  Hannah, feeling lightheaded, even nauseated by the close call, told him, then said, "My God, Alex. She could have been killed." Her voice broke at the last, and she thrust Chloe at him. "I don't know what made me think I could ever be a mother!" Grabbing the reins of both horses, she headed for the barn.

  Alex called, "Wait, Hannah!" and strode to the Mule, buckling Chloe safely in the seat.

  He headed into the darkened barn and spied the horses tied to a pen. As he walked past them, he found Hannah, head pressed against Rusty's neck. "Hannah, it was not your fault. Children, they do these things. Believe me, Chloe, she is always getting into stuff. I can't take my eyes off her."

  Without turning, Hannah said, "No, I shouldn't have put her down. I should have set her in the saddle or held her and let you check the cinch. That's what a real mother would have done. A real mother knows these things."

  Alex stepped close and laid his hands on her shoulders, gently turning her toward him. "Hannah, real mothers are not always good mothers. A good mother wants to do the right thing, and that is you." He tilted her chin until her gaze met his. "You're good for my daughter, Hannah. I trust you. You must trust you, too." He pulled her closer and enveloped her in a warm hug, holding her there.

  Stiff at first, unwilling to forgive herself, she eventually relaxed, unable to resist the warmth of his arms and the gentle way he held her.

  He kissed her temple.

  She turned her face to him, eyes closed, and sighed.

  He kissed her cheek, and her jaw, and behind her ear.

  She sucked in a breath.

  He feathered a kiss across her lips.

  She opened her eyes. Then closed them again.

  Smiling, he captured her lips in a soft, gentle, lingering kiss. And stepped back.

  When she opened her eyes again, he said, "Let's ride."

  Emotions flooded her. What power did this man possess? The world had vanished while he held her in his arms. And her guilt, her anxiety, were gone. She licked her lips and nodded.

  He untied the horses and led them out into the sunlight. She followed, changed by the man and his kiss and not sure what to do about it.

  Once outside, she took the horses' reins while Alex unbuckled Chloe.

  He said, "Hannah, Chloe rides with you."

  She chewed her lip. He was obviously going with the old if you fall off, get right back on the horse thing. "Okay." Handing him Hershey's reins, she mounted Rusty. "Hand her up." She settled the little girl in front of her, and Chloe grabbed the saddle horn. "That's right. You hold on while we ride."

  Alex mounted Hershey. "Ready, boss."

  They moved away from the barn, passing the planted wheat fields, and emerging on one of the large desert pastures with uneven terrain where cattle grazed on sparse native grasses. Trees were sadly lacking in this arid West Texas land, but giant dagger yuccas dotted the landscape, along with barberry bushes and the sword-like lechegilla plants.

  Rusty jerked his head as a roadrunner sped across the road several feet in front of the horses. Hannah glanced at Chloe, who had been mostly silent, her big blue eyes taking in everything around her. "Are you having fun, honey?"

  She nodded her head and grinned.

  "Did you see that bird run across the road? That's called a roadrunner. It hardly flies at all. It runs real fast everywhere it goes."

  Chloe said, "Woawunnah."

  Hannah laughed and squeezed her, adoring her little voice. "That's a hard one to say, isn't it?" Hannah loved being horseback if it didn't involve cattle, and this ride, with the precious child in front of her, was magical. Pointing to the base of a smaller, soaptree yucca, she said, "Chloe, look at the green lizard." The Texas collared lizard, with its bright blue-green color and distinctive black collar around its throat, was a beautiful creature. She stopped the horse so Chloe could take a good look. "Isn't it pretty?"

  Chloe stared, her mouth slightly open. "Pwetty."

  Alex said, "That is my first. Do you have many here?

  Thus far during the ride, she'd kept her gaze strictly ahead and away from the gorgeous cowboy. Now tingles of attraction tickled her. His kiss had awakened something in her, and she found herself wanting more of that closeness despite her knowledge that he would be out of her life soon. "I don't know. I don't see them that often."

  Chloe had begun to babble. Some words Hannah could understand, and others she couldn't. The little girl reached down and clutched a handful of Rusty's mane, yanking on it, though the horse didn't seem to mind. She looked up and pointed at a butterfly that floated in front of Rusty's head. "Pwetty."

  Hannah kissed her cheek, cherishing the moment, wanting this ride to last forever. "That's a butterfly, Chloe. He is pretty."

  Alex nudged Hershey closer and squeezed Hannah's knee. "Chloe is having fun, Hannah." He smiled at her, the light in his eyes melting her resolve to keep her distance.

  She said, "I love riding out here. Some people think the desert's ugly, but I couldn't disagree more. There's so much life, and the wildflowers in spring and summer give it such color. It's peaceful. I can think when I'm out here alone."

  He nodded, searching her face. "That
is good, Hannah."

  Casting her gaze around them, she pulled Rusty to a stop. "We should probably get back. This little one will be hungry by the time we're home."

  "Would you like me to hold her now?" Alex asked.

  Her arms tightened. "No. She's no trouble."

  Soon, Chloe's head sank onto Hannah's arm. She slept, rocked by the rhythm of Rusty's stride.

  Hannah held her close, protective and oh-so-joyful at having the tiny bundle in her arms. Rusty needed no guidance. He knew they were headed home.

  Alex appeared lost in thought.

  Silence settled on them. The only sound the plop, plop, plop of the horses' shod hooves on the dirt road and the occasional clack as one of them kicked a stone.

  When they arrived at the barn, she motioned for Alex to take Chloe. Hannah made short work of unsaddling and turning out the horses.

  The little girl woke when Hannah started the Mule. Looking up from her father's chest, Chloe stretched her arms out for Hannah.

  A surge of emotion slammed Hannah's heart as she reached for Chloe. Never had Hannah felt this connection, this wanting, this need for a child. As Hannah pulled Chloe into a warm embrace, she snuggled into her, wrapping her arms around Hannah's neck. Overcome, she closed her eyes, caressing Chloe's long, tight curls, inhaling her childlike fragrance, knowing she could never let this child go.

  Alex said, "Do you want me to drive?"

  Eyes closed, she nodded and scooted over.

  On the way home, she stared, unseeing into the distance.

  Once at the house, she fixed Chloe, who was now wide awake, a snack.

  Alex sat next to Hannah at the table and touched her arm. "Thank you for today. We had fun."

  His smile, which always lit his beautiful brown eyes with warmth, eased Hannah's heart, and she felt more herself.

  "I enjoyed taking the afternoon off, and I can't remember the last time I went riding for fun." She couldn't help it. Her eyes strayed to his muscular chest, his strong shoulders and back to that beautiful smile. Her body responded with a quickening pulse and butterflies in her tummy. She wet her lips.