Cowboy For A Season (The New West)

by Janalyn Knight

  Chloe was all Hannah had been able to think about since deciding to see the child again. A truck pulled into the driveway, and Hannah looked out the living room window. Her heart leapt when Alex stepped out. What would she do when he drove away in that truck for the last time? Shuddering, she closed her eyes, unable to bear the thought.

  As Alex approached the house with Chloe in his arms, Hannah's avid gaze absorbed every detail of the little girl's appearance. Had she grown? She looked pale, didn't she? Was she eating right? Who was this woman taking care of Chloe, anyway? Rushing to the door, Hannah threw it open before Alex could knock. "Hi, come in," she said, breathlessly.

  He grinned and stepped inside. "Hello, Hannah."

  Chloe leaned toward her, arms outstretched. "Hama."

  Hannah's heart leapt as she pulled Chloe close. It was the first time she'd heard Chloe try to say her name. "When did she start saying that?"

  Alex laughed. "I told you, she missed you. That is when."

  Hannah kissed her cheek, and cuddled Chloe into her neck. "You're my smart girl, aren't you?" God, how I've missed this. I can't let her go.

  Hannah carried the little girl into the kitchen, giving herself time to control her emotions. Chloe was leaving, and there was nothing Hannah could do about it. "Would you like a cookie? Just a little one, because we're having dinner soon."

  Chloe nodded, smiling all the way up to her big blue eyes.

  Alex had followed them to the kitchen, and he stood beside Hannah.

  Despite her wishes, tiny fingers of craving crawled up her belly. She sighed, giving up. This special, gorgeous man would always attract her. With a last kiss, she set Chloe in a chair. "I'll get you a cookie and a small glass of milk. You stay right here."

  Alex sat next to his daughter. "It smells good in here Hannah. What did you cook?"

  With her back turned, she said, "Beans and cornbread. I figured we could eat while we visited."

  "Thank you. We will enjoy that."

  Hannah set the food in front of Chloe and sat on the other side of her. She smoothed the little girl's unruly hair out of her face. "I've missed you, little one, do you know that?"

  Chloe took a bite of cookie and chewed, looking at Hannah.

  "She missed you, too, Hannah." He paused. "I miss you, Hannah." He reached across the table but didn't attempt to take her hand. "I see your eyes. I know you don't sleep. I don't sleep, either. You mean so much to me, Hannah. You're in my heart."

  She closed her eyes. She was in his heart? She'd never been sure of his feelings. Knowing he cared for her this way made it harder to let him go. She met his gaze. "Alex, you're leaving. This, us ... I don't know how to do it. You're in my heart, too. Chloe's in my heart. What will be left of me when you leave?" She bit her lip to stop its trembling. She would not cry.

  He scooted his chair back, the shrieking sound grating on her over-wrought nerves. Stepping around Chloe's chair, he knelt beside her. "Hannah, I don't know the answer. I'm trying to figure it out. You're in my head, always, and I think how can I leave? I had an idea. What if I ride bulls, and Hannah hires a cowboy to help her? But that is not right. You work too hard, Hannah. You need a partner to work beside you, to hold the burden with you. Then I think of no more bull riding, and I'm not ready for that."

  His eyes were so earnest, when he reached for her hands, she let him take them. She sighed but could think of nothing to say.

  He squeezed her fingers. "Hannah, don't give up on Chloe and me."

  She sucked in her bottom lip, and now tears filled her eyes. Looking down at their hands, she nodded.

  After dinner, they took a ride in the Mule, Chloe sitting on Hannah's lap. It was one of the little girl's favorite things to do. Alex drove all over the home pasture, and they laughed when they went over big bumps, Chloe's preferred choice of terrain.

  The sun sat low on the horizon as they drove back in the driveway. Alex set the brake and looked at Hannah. "Thank you for inviting us. My daughter needs her bath. We should go."

  Though she knew this was coming, it still hurt. She didn't want to say goodbye to either one of them. "Okay," and she clutched Chloe tighter to her chest.

  The little girl gripped Hannah's hair as she stood and walked toward Alex's truck. Her heart grew heavier with each step. The evening without them loomed dark in her thoughts.

  Alex opened the back door of his truck and reached for Chloe.

  She clung to Hannah's neck. "No. Hama."

  Hannah gripped Chloe tight as a wave of intense emotion overwhelmed her. This must be what a mother felt. It had to be. Hannah smiled as tears sprung from her eyes, and she walked a few steps away, cherishing the moment. How long had she waited for this? A lifetime? She needed a moment to absorb it, so that she'd never forget.

  Alex stood quietly, waiting.

  Chloe mumbled, "Hama," and snuggled closer to Hannah.

  Goosebumps skittered down her arms. Every nerve in her body was in tune with the tiny girl in her arms. From somewhere, the song You are My Sunshine came to her, and she hummed. Rubbing Chloe's back, she walked several steps up and down the driveway as the little girl gradually grew limp.

  Alex stayed still.

  When she was sure Chloe slept, she strode over to him. "Thank you for letting me do that."

  He leaned in and hugged her, Chloe and all, then gently took his daughter and buckled her in the car seat. Chloe never woke up.

  He shut the door with a quiet click and turned to Hannah. "You're good with my bebȇ." Clasping Hannah's shoulders, he eased her into a hug and held her there for a long moment. Kissing her cheek, he whispered, "Don't give up on us, Hannah," and released her.

  Chapter Ten

  ALEX SAT DOWN AT THE breakfast table the next morning, his eyes puffy from lack of sleep. He couldn't leave Hannah. But riding bulls was his life.

  Todd seated himself opposite. "Hey, buddy."

  Alex didn't answer right away. Taking a bite of eggs, he chewed slowly, thinking. "Todd?"

  "Yeah?"

  "You know how much I care for Hannah."

  "Yep."

  Alex took another bite. "My training is still shit."

  Todd looked at him, waiting for him to get to the point.

  Alex stopped chewing. "Maybe the doctor is right."

  Todd laughed. "What was that I just heard?"

  Alex grinned. "I'm serious. My arm is not right, and my pelvis, it kills me when I'm on the weight bench. And driving that damn tractor was torture."

  Todd frowned. "That's not good."

  "My strength, I don't have it back. I should be stronger now."

  Todd stared. "I can see you're planning something. I don't think I'm going to like it."

  Alex grinned. "I must know. I have to ride a bull."

  Todd slapped the table. "You just said you're not ready."

  Alex set his lips in a stubborn line. "I'm ready for a practice bull. I'll know my future when I feel myself on the back of a bull."

  Todd blew out a breath. "Dammit, Alex. This is crazy."

  He stared at Todd. "I should have been on bulls already." Taking another bite, he said, "I'll call Jody in Dallas. He texted me."

  Todd asked, "How long will you be gone?"

  "Three days. I want to get back."

  Todd nodded. "If you're getting killed, I'm coming to bring your body home."

  Alex cracked up. "Thanks."

  ALEX HAD CALLED HANNAH Sunday afternoon and asked for some time off. Jody was happy to hear from Alex and, when he told Jody that he hoped to come visit and bring along Todd, Jody heartily agreed. He said he had some nice bulls, so Alex would get quite a work out.

  Monday, Todd spent the six-hour drive to Dallas trying to talk some sense into Alex.

  He ignored his friend. Bull riders couldn't afford to be scared before they got up on bulls, but they had a very healthy respect for them. Right now, Alex's respect for the bulls he would ride was about as healthy as it could get. He'd never been this busted up
and gotten on a bull.

  Other people might think he was being stupid. But he had to know if his body could stick on the back of a bull. The pain didn't matter. It would go away when he fully healed. Was his body right, though? Would it ever be right again? He had to answer that for himself.

  Jody had a couple hundred acres outside of Plano, Texas. When they arrived, he took them out to the pasture and showed off his latest herd of bulls. "Alex, you sure you're up to this?"

  Alex smiled. "That is what I'm here to find out."

  Todd grinned. "And I'm here to pick up the pieces."

  Jody laughed and gestured to his bulls. "I'm kind of proud of these boys." He stuck his hands in his pockets. "I don't want to see you hurt, Alex. You got busted up pretty bad. I have a kid that will keep the bulls off you this time, though."

  Alex nodded. "Sounds great. I'll ride a few. See what happens."

  After dinner, Jody lit up his fire pit, and they stayed up late, drinking beer and telling bull stories. The soft firelight flickered across Todd's face. Alex hadn't seen him enjoy himself like this in a long time. He must miss his bull riding days, but he seldom spoke of it. His life was his wife and son now.

  Alex closed his eyes and listened to the two men, each talking over the other about tough bull rides. Would this be him someday soon? A weight settled on his chest. Tomorrow he would find out.

  Early the next morning, Alex woke with a sense of trepidation. So much depended on today. His very successful bull riding career had come down to the outcome of a few practice rides. He dressed, then headed for the kitchen to find coffee fixings. To his surprise, Jody's wife was already up. "Hey, Susan, do you want me to make coffee?"

  She smiled. "I just put it on. So, you're an early riser, too?"

  "I didn't sleep good. I don't want to say I'm scared. That is bad luck." He grinned sheepishly. "Man, I'll hurt today. I can say I'm apreensivo, um ... apprehensive, yes?"

  She laughed. "I believe you can say that without risking bad luck."

  Sitting on a bar stool, he massaged his elbow, hoping to loosen it a little before he rode this morning.

  Susan sat next to him. "So, you've been staying with Todd since you were injured?"

  He'd always liked Susan. She was kind and a good wife to Jody. "Yes, and now my daughter lives with me. Her mother is in Nashville and can't care for her anymore."

  "So, you like, have custody of her?"

  He frowned. This had been worrying him. "Not really. Debra gave her to me one day and drove away."

  Susan drew the corner of her mouth down. "Alex, I don't mean to judge, but that's pretty awful."

  Sighing, he said, "My poor Chloe, her life was not so easy. I'll do something about that soon."

  Susan got up and poured them each a cup of coffee. "You're a good man, Alex."

  Todd walked in, scratching his head. "Hey, Susan. Would you pour me some of that java, please?"

  He plopped down on a stool next to Alex. "Don't you sleep, buddy? I heard you tossing and turning all night. You can still call this off. Nobody would think any less of you." He looked hopefully at his friend.

  Alex shook his head. "No chance. And, Susan and I agree, I can be apprehensive with no bad luck."

  Todd grinned. "Apprehensive? Isn't that a little bit like being scared?"

  Alex stared solemnly at him, trying not to smile. "Oh, no, it's different."

  Todd laughed and slapped him on the back. "Okay, whatever you say, buddy."

  Later, as Jody and Todd loaded the bulls in the holding pen, there was no hilarity. Alex faced a series of deadly rides, and nobody liked his chances for success. As promised, the young bull fighter waited in the small arena.

  When the first bull skidded to a stop in the alley, Alex looped his bull rope over him and hooked it from underneath, then tied it off loosely. A cowboy let the bull move forward into the bucking area and shut the gate behind him as the other bulls came jogging up the alley.

  Alex strode to the bucking chutes and leaned against the bars, shutting out everything around him. Two other cowboys would be getting on the bulls today, so he could catch his breath and pull himself together after each ride. Massaging his arm, he gritted his teeth. Guts and determination were all he had to make it through the upcoming rides. His body sure wouldn't do him any favors. He smacked his fist into his palm. Bull riders rode hurt regularly. He could handle pain. He could do this! Bouncing on the balls of his feet, despite how it hurt, he breathed deeply and blew out the air, repeating the process several times.

  Todd walked up. "You ready, Alex?"

  He nodded. "Oh, yeah."

  Jody had a nice set up, and Alex's first bull was loaded in the chute and ready to go. Alex slipped on his glove and climbed up on the wooden rider's platform. His bull was white with some black spots thrown in, and had a single, wicked-looking horn.

  Todd stepped across the top of the chute and onto the chute gate.

  Jody called, "His name's Wrecking Ball because he lost that horn ramming a wall."

  Alex laughed and stepped over the side of the chute, settling his booted foot on the gate opposite. Grabbing the top bars, he stuck his other boot down the side of the bull, and slipped his foot off the bars of the gate, sliding it down as well. Now Alex sat on the bull's back. He could almost hear his pelvis creak. Excruciating agony, too much to be ignored, tortured him. Shifting his weight, he felt for his seat—the particular way his body fit that made him one with the bull. Nothing.

  Todd yanked Alex's rope tight.

  Alex shifted again, to no avail. He had no more time to waste. Shunting what hurt he could to the back of his mind, he ran his hand up and down the rosin on his rope, creating friction and making his glove sticky. Pulling the tail of the rope tight, he wrapped it around his hand in his own precise way. After pounding it flat with his fist, he was ready.

  Now the damn bull had his head between his legs, snorting and pawing the dirt.

  Alex slapped his neck hard, several times, and the bull jumped up, shivering.

  Todd was long gone by now.

  Alex looked at the gate man and nodded.

  The gate swung open, and Wrecking Ball flew out of the chute, bucking right out of the gate, and spinning into Alex's arm. In two jumps, Alex was off, flying through the air and landing in a heap. Shattering pain wracked his body. He couldn’t catch his breath.

  The clown stepped in and distracted the bull. Jody opened the gate, and the animal headed out of the arena.

  From the second the gate had opened, everything had gone wrong. The connection he usually felt with his bulls had never been established, and his riding arm? Despite the metal brace, he had no strength in his grip, and his hand popped out of his rope on the second jump. Then there was the pain. Blinding, blazing torture shot up his arm while the agony in his hips each time the bull bucked was, well, if there was a word for it, he didn't know it. This was worse than he’d imagined.

  He struggled to his feet.

  Todd rushed to his side. "You okay, Alex?" Grabbing Alex's arm, he supported him as he limped to the gate leading behind the chutes.

  Alex, through gritted teeth, said, "Yeah. Help me put my rope on my next bull."

  Todd sighed and mumbled to himself as the bullfighter handed him Alex's bull rope.

  Once on his second, much calmer, bull, Alex searched for his seat again, inching slightly side-to-side as Todd yanked the slack in his rope. Maybe it was the pain from sitting on the bull, but it just didn't feel right. He had never hurt this bad before, and that could be messing with his concentration. Giving up, he secured his hand to the rope, then took a deep breath and nodded to the gate man.

  The bull exploded out of the chute, spun away from his hand and slung Alex off his back like a sack of feed. He landed ass-over-hat on the ground. A black wave of unconsciousness nearly took Alex down, but he fought through it.

  The bullfighter lured the bull away, and the snorting wall of muscle headed for the open gate.

&nbs
p; Alex lay still, taking stock of his hurts. The bull had him out of position with the first jump, pulling him forward. It wasn't just the horrific pain of being on the exploding bull's back. He didn't have his usual strength in his hips and thighs because of his pelvic injury. Nothing was working as it should. But maybe he could try something different. Groaning, he reached for Todd's outstretched hand.

  His friend pulled him to his feet. "That's enough, Alex. Come on, don't hurt yourself. It's not worth it."

  Alex dusted off his hat and put it back on. "One more." Barely able to walk, he limped to the gate.

  With his last bull, he didn't worry about his seat. He concentrated on getting tied on right and would keep completely focused on staying loose and moving with the bull during his ride. Without the strength in his lower body, that was his only alternative. If he could anticipate the bull's moves, he had a chance.

  The bull flew out of the chute, whipping right. Alex stayed loose and stayed in control the first buck, and the next. But when the bull changed directions, Alex didn't have the give in his hips to follow it. This time he didn't fall in a heap, but he came close to passing out from the jarring, searing agony when he landed on his feet and fell to his knees.

  The bull fighter distracted the bull as Alex pushed himself to his feet. Burning, shooting fire struck his pelvis as he took his first step. He'd failed—his bull riding career was over.

  THEY'D PLANNED ON RETURNING to Barbwire the next day, but Alex had no heart for staying longer. He asked Todd if he minded starting the long drive home that afternoon and his friend was all for it. This time Todd drove. Alex hurt too much.

  On the way home, Todd tried several times to engage Alex in conversation, but he was in no mood to talk. Coming to terms with the abrupt end to his career overwhelmed him. He had his savings, which was quite substantial, and he could buy his own ranch somewhere. But he'd always thought he would have years to shop around and find a place to settle down.