“I can stay with her while you get him.”
Gabriel stayed silent at that comment and instead just bore his eye into Michael. When Michael’s gaze turned to me I gave a small shake of my head, telling him not to pursue his desire to stay with me. I saw Michael’s shoulders sag a little as he gave in to Gabriel’s request.
“Tell him to meet us at The Archives,” Gabriel requested before standing up and leading me out the front door. “Are you sure you are okay with whatever was going on with Michael before I came? Because I don’t have to leave you with him, you can just stay with Azrael and Raphael.”
“Gabriel, I was having a good time with Michael, you can stop being so overprotective. I also don’t need babysitters twenty four seven,” I snapped then instantly regretted it when the corners of Gabriel’s lips twitched downwards. “I’m sorry,” I whispered and we walked the rest of the way in silence.
When we got to The Archives, Uriel and Michael had just arrived as well. Michael gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and a short apology for our night ending so badly before he left. As he walked away I saw Gabriel glaring at his back.
As we went inside I asked Gabriel if he would mind leaving me alone with Uriel to discuss the vision. He was extremely hesitant to do this but, eventually he turned with sharpness and went outside to talk to Arafiel. I know he wanted to be with me always, but sometimes the pressure I had of trying control my composure around him was difficult. I felt my shoulders sag as I sank into a chair across from Uriel.
“It’s not easy for him you know.” Uriel’s soft voice pulled my attention away from Gabriel.
“I know.” Tears were already spilling down my cheeks and I hadn’t even explained the vision yet. “I don’t want him to worry about me all the time. I wish I could make it easier for him.”
I looked out the window again and although he was still talking with Arafiel his pained gaze was on me. Once he caught me looking towards him he turned his face away.
“It’s probably harder for him that you shut him out at times. When you don’t let him comfort you, you are both in pain. It’s only in each other’s presence that you can heal each other.”
It was an interesting comment to make. I had never really thought about the fact that when he makes me feel better I am in turn making him feel better.
“Michael explained the vision to me so there is no need for you to recount it for me again.”
I nodded my head absentmindedly. “Did Asteria ever have visions like that?”
“No, I do not believe she ever was in the place of the victim, she always viewed it through third person.”
“What does it mean?” my voice shook. The fact that I was the only person to ever experience this terrified me. How was I supposed to deal with something that the Goddess didn’t even have experience with?
“I don’t know that it’s supposed to mean anything. I think you are just very connected to these people. You are in an interesting position, you are both human and Goddess. You are able to feel both the concern and love of the Goddess and the fear and pain of the humans.”
“I guess I just have to deal with it.” I wiped away the tears from my cheeks.
“You should use those emotions to your advantage. Use them to motivate you to defeat the Anakim and the fallen. You know the pain these victims are feeling, you know what these creatures are capable of, and those emotions when combined with Asteria’s love for her people should inspire you to ensure that no one ever has to feel that pain again.”
Uriel was right. I needed to be stronger than this. If only the darkness wasn’t there threatening to make that impossible.
Chapter Thirteen
We tried to find the guy from my vision but we had absolutely nothing to go on. I didn’t even know what the guy looked like since I’d had the vision from his perspective. There was nothing distinctive about the room that would lead us to be able to locate him either. I was beyond frustrated with the vision and the fact that yet again, there was nothing I could do to stop someone’s death. What good were these visions if I couldn’t even change their outcome?
A few days after the vision I knew that it was too late. There was a slight tightening in my chest that I instinctually knew meant the man had just died.
When I felt that he died I was with Azrael, but not because she was “babysitting” me, Gabriel had given up on that after I snapped at him. We were at the lake, the water was warm again and we had been sitting behind the waterfall.
I had to excuse myself because I wanted to be alone. Azrael had shown some concern but I quickly explained to her than the man had died and I wanted time to myself. I had originally intended to go to my house, but instead I ended up at Asteria’s temple. When I got to the center of the temple I allowed my knees to give out underneath me and I sat on the floor with my head in my hands as I sobbed. I felt something wet pushing its way past my hands on my face. Storm successfully got her nose through my fingers and placed one good long lick across my cheek, making me laugh. I uncurled myself slightly to let her into my lap. Only her upper body fit onto my lap since she was so large.
I absentmindedly stroked Storm with one hand has I wiped away my tears with the other.
“I just don’t understand how I’m ever going to help anyone with these visions. I haven’t been able to save a single person,” I mused while scratching Storm behind her ears. She let out a small whine as an answer.
“We’ll figure everything out Sage.” I jumped at the unexpected voice and Storm growled at my sudden panic.
“Damn it Gabriel! You can’t just sneak up on people like that.” I placed a hand over my rapidly beating heart.
“Sorry.” He let out a small laugh. “I had an idea. I think you should get to see Danielle, I know you miss her and it’s been awhile since you’ve been to Terra. Today probably isn’t the best, but maybe tomorrow?”
“Really?” I perked up a bit.
“I just spoke to Azrael; she agreed to come with us. We won’t interfere of course.”
“Thank you!” I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed tightly.
“Normally you don’t try and suffocate someone you are thanking,” Gabriel choked as he pried my arms off from around his neck.
I anxiously awaited for the moment I would get to hang out with Danielle. While I had made new friends in Aether, I still missed my best friend. I felt bad for leaving her and rarely speaking to her. I was going to visit her at her campus. She was just as excited to see me and as eccentric and over the top as ever.
When she showed me her dorm room it was bittersweet. I was happy for her, she had always dreamed of the day she would have her own dorm. We had spent many hours cutting out pictures from magazines and piecing them together to create our own dorm rooms. But this was something we had always dreamed together and she was getting to do it without me.
I was jealous when I met her roommate who she had clearly gotten close to. They shared inside jokes and had decorated with bright colors just as Danielle and I would have. Thankfully the roommate did not join us for lunch and it was just like old times.
We gossiped over the guys who were lingering around the café where we were having lunch. I also learned of a few boys who Danielle considered boyfriend potential. I even told her a little bit about Michael and it was really fun getting to gossip again. Although I hoped Azrael and Gabriel were far enough away to not hear that conversation.
For all of our lives Danielle and I had been inseparable. Sure we made other friends but, ultimately it always came down to just the two of us. This time it was different. Danielle took me to a club that she had started going to with some of the girls she met in one of her classes. She danced, laughed and drank with all these people that I didn’t know. For the first time I felt like an outsider around Danielle. I didn’t understand about three fourths of the conversations that were held that night. The conversations were about people I didn’t know and places I had never heard of.
Gabriel must h
ave noticed that I was feeling a bit off because he “accidentally” bumped into me and continued walking towards the exit. He looked at me over his shoulder once to make sure I got his message.
“I think I actually see someone I know.” I excused myself from the table that I shared with Danielle and about ten of her friends. I slipped out the same door that Gabriel had just a moment before.
“Do you want to leave?” Gabriel asked when I joined him outside.
“Maybe. It’s just really strange. I guess I just never really expected her to move on without me. That sounds so stupid.” I picked at my cuticles as I spoke.
“It’s not stupid; she was your best friend,” Gabriel consoled. I nodded my head slowly.
“I guess it’s good that I don’t have to worry about her. She is going on with her life and clearly is not upset that I left her.”
“You didn’t leave her.”
“But I did leave her! We had plans before you came along, Gabriel.”
“Sage, people always drift apart, especially in college. I know it might not be the most comforting thing but I’ve seen it a lot over the years. I don’t want you to blame yourself for the distance there is between you guys now.”
“You’re right. I think I’m just going to stay a little longer, and then we can go home.” He smiled at my statement. “What?”
“That’s the first time I’ve heard you call Aether your home.” I rolled my eyes before going back inside.
I stayed for only about thirty more minutes but I left feeling better. I decided that I could take this day as a closure of sorts. Danielle was doing well without me, and I wouldn’t have to spend much time worrying about having abandoned her.
“Would you rather start with hand to hand combat or sword fighting?” Gabriel asked me at the beginning of our next training session.
“Sword fighting, since that seems to be the angels’ method.”
Gabriel opened the black, leather trunk that he had been perched on when I arrived at the field that morning. From the trunk he drew out a sword, its metal almost blinding me as it reflected the sun. I didn’t have much time to wonder at the beauty of the metal before Gabriel placed the sword in my hands.
“Oh, it’s heavier than I’d imagined.” I awkwardly held the sword extended a safe distance away from my body with both of my hands.
Just as I had anticipated, Gabriel, with a smile on his face, came over to correct my form. He stood behind me and kicked my feet slightly apart.
“Make sure you have your feet firmly planted on the ground. A strong center is the basis for sword fighting.”
Next he reached around me and placed his hands over my own and slowly brought the sword so that it was closer to my body.
“Don’t be afraid of it,” he instructed. “Remember you are the wielder of the sword, it is your weapon and will act as you wish it too.”
He began gently repositioning my hands on the grip of the sword. “For now, I’ll allow you to use both of your hands to hold it but later we will switch to just one hand. Typically you want to have your other hand to hold a shield.” He twisted my wrist slightly and curled my fingers around the sword’s handle, and I will admit that it was a much more comfortable position. The sword felt less awkward and much lighter in my hands. I will also admit that I was enjoying the proximity I shared with Gabriel. He smelled warm, similar to the sensation that spreads through me whenever I sense his approach. You would think that with all the time I spent with him that I would have learned his scent by now but it was much more evident out in the open field with the wind stirring it around me. It had a relaxing, yet slightly fruity undertone to it; maybe a mixture of lavender and peach?
As I looked at Gabriel’s hands over my own I couldn’t help thinking how even though they looked rough, they felt soft and gentle on my own skin. While I was admiring this feeling I saw a flicker of smoke out of the corner of my eye.
No, not now, I thought. I closed my eyes, hoping that when I reopened them I would find only Gabriel with me on that field. No such luck, though. When I opened my eyes the darkness was creeping up on both of us. Gabriel must have sensed my anxiety because I heard him say my name in my ear.
At any other time I would have enjoyed the tickle of his breath on my neck. But not right now. I could only focus on the dread that was beginning to overwhelm me. I felt a sting as it enclosed itself around my hands and I panicked.
I whirled around, slicing through the air around me with the sword. My actions forced Gabriel to jump away from me to steer clear of the blade. The darkness seemed to disperse at the touch of the sword and once I noticed it was gone, I let out a small whimper and dropped the weapon from my hands.
With the threat of the blade gone, Gabriel stepped closer to me. He seemed hesitant to touch me though. My breathing was labored and I felt sweat drawing up near my hair line. I brought my shaking hands to cover my embarrassed face.
“What happened?” Gabriel took my hands in his own and drew them away from my face. He continued to hold them, making soothing, circular motions on the backs of my hands with his thumbs while he waited for me to speak.
“I think I felt a vision coming, and after the last one I really did not want to experience that again. I panicked.” My voice stuttered as I let out my lie. If I tried to rationalize it, it was partially true. I was afraid of my visions and I obviously did panic.
“Why don’t we take a little break before we try that again,” he suggested.
I shook my head. “I’d really just rather move on and continue with the training.” When Gabriel continued to look at me with a furrowed brow I added, “I’ll be fine, I promise.” I even tacked on a small smile.
I really did want to continue the session. I didn’t want to dwell on what had just happened. I didn’t want to entertain the idea that maybe I was going crazy, because clearly Gabriel had not seen the smoke around us. I took a swig of my water bottle to help calm my nerves before I bent over to pick up the sword again.
“Am I holding it right?” I knew that I wasn’t. Gabriel took his position behind me again and rearranged my hands on the grip. I breathed in deeply, filling my lungs in with his scent. This served two purposes; it calmed my nerves while at the same time sent electric shocks throughout my body in the most pleasant way.
Once my stance and grip were just right again, Gabriel began to show me how to move the sword. He showed me how to bend my elbows just right so that I could create a fluid arch. We went through motions of how to move my feet in tandem with the arches of my sword as I closed in or swirled away from an imaginary opponent. The movements were graceful, though I doubted I would feel that grace during a battle. He reminded me over and over again that battle would be much quicker and that I was going to have to embed these moves into my mind in order to access them within under a second’s judgment.
“I think it’s time for you to experience what another sword against your own will feel like.” I expected him to get another sword out from the trunk, but instead I watched as he conjured up his sword as if by magic. It was the same sword I saw him attack Michael with, flames included. It was glorious; I was entranced by the flames as they licked up and around the metal of the blade.
“No fair, yours is so much prettier than mine,” I pouted.
Gabriel just laughed in response.
With one quick sweep, he had brought his sword clashing against mine. The clamor made my teeth ring and I moved my lower jaw in circles to try to ease the ache.
Once again Gabriel laughed. “You get used to that sound. I’m going to swing right and I want you to block it,” he instructed.
I did just as he asked and winced at the sound of our blades colliding. I didn’t have much time to dwell on the pain because with no warning Gabriel swung to the left of me and without thinking I twirled around and brought my sword against his again.
“A plus for style!” I swung my head around and saw Azrael and Sera on the outskirt of the field. The comment had come fr
om Azrael of course but Sera also seemed impressed with my block.
Gabriel rolled his eyes before admonishing, “This is a closed practice.”
“Don’t get all worked up, we’ll go. I just wanted to stop in and make sure you were an effective teacher.”
I noticed Gabriel pursed his lips slightly. Although Azrael didn’t mean anything by the comment, I think he was injured that someone doubted his abilities when it came to me.
“It was a joke, Gabriel. Although, I think maybe one of these days you should let me teach her a few things. It would be fun,” Azrael added before turning to walk away.
“Really Gabriel, don’t let her upset you. Vale!” Sera lilted before following Azrael.
“Let’s keep going.” I raised my sword in anticipation of his next attack.
We spent the next thirty minutes dancing around the field. At first Gabriel had given warnings about his moves but, eventually he drew away from that and I had to notice the slight shift in his footing to decide what my next move would be. It was actually a lot of fun and the sound of the blades grew on me to the point where I found the clamor enjoyable. It was satisfying to hear the sound that meant I had successfully blocked another blow from Gabriel.
I knew we were moving at a much slower pace than a real fight would and that Gabriel wasn’t even putting his full force behind each sweep. But regardless I still was happy with my performance with the sword and if Gabriel's light mood at the end of the session was any indication, he was pleased as well.
“You did great.” Gabriel casually swung an arm over my shoulder. I thought back to how different this gesture was when Michael did it. I looked up at Gabriel wondering if Michael had told him about our upcoming date. Considering his good mood, I doubt he knew about it and I certainly wasn’t going to be the one to tell him. Michael had said he would convince Gabriel and I was more than willing to let him handle that.
Gabriel kept his arm around me as we walked from the center of the field to the sidelines where our water was. When we were about halfway, I began to feel dizzy and my head began to throb.
Solace (Asteria Trilogy Book 1) Page 14
