When I arrived at my childhood home, I had to laugh. Momma had apparently been busy. Not only did it smell like ham baking in her countertop oven roaster, but her house looked like the Easter Bunny had thrown up in there. She had pastels draped everywhere, from the pink table cloth to the lavender napkins. In addition, she had all of the Easter baskets lined up on the sofa like when we were children. I noticed she had an extra one. I smacked my forehead and went to investigate, but Momma headed me off at the pass.
“Please tell me you didn’t make Jason an Easter basket.”
“Kennie, how rude would it be if I didn’t make him one?”
“Grown men don’t want Easter baskets.”
“Rick and Zander love theirs.”
“What did you put in his?”
“You know that’s not how it works. I want you all to be surprised when we get back from church.”
I knew it was a hopeless cause. When Nanette Marshall decided on something, that was it. She wouldn’t be talked out of it.
My only hope was that Jason had fallen ill. I could already tell Momma had a plan and it didn’t bode well for me.
“How was dinner last night?” Momma applied an extra layer of lipstick as we headed over to the church in my car.
“Fine.”
I could feel her eyes burn into me without even having to look her way. “I suppose you paid for yourself.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Kennie.” She placed the lid back on her tube of lipstick and threw it in her bag.
“What? It wasn’t a date.”
“Do you even remember what those are like?”
“Vaguely.”
Her sigh filled the car.
“Momma, it’s Easter. Can we focus on that and enjoy the day?”
“Jesus wants you to date.”
I snorted so loud with laughter that my throat and nose hurt.
“This is not a laughing matter, missy.”
“Well, if Jesus shows up at church and tells me I should date, I promise I will.”
I glanced over to her in the passenger seat to see her silently praying. I rolled my eyes to myself.
“Amen.” She ended her prayer before I pulled into the full-to-bursting church parking lot.
I wasn’t too worried. I was pretty sure Jesus had more pressing matters than my self- induced non-existent love life.
I was beyond happy to see Rick and Lana were already there saving our seats. I needed some sanity and two warm bodies to sit between. I was going to head Momma off at the pass. I walked briskly to the two of them, leaving Momma well behind. That was probably terrible, but I refused for her to seat Jason next to me. Sure, he was a nice guy, but neither he nor I needed to fall victim to my momma’s scheming. Besides, the poor guy was recently out of a serious relationship, and I think he thought I was some sort of science experiment gone wrong. He sure studied me a lot.
Both Rick and Lana smiled up at me. Lana looked adorable in her white and pale blue sundress. She had her hair pulled up in a messy bun. She was too cute for words.
“Good morning.” I squeezed myself in between them.
“I was sitting by my daughter.” Rick scooted over.
“Well, now you’re not.”
Lana giggled. Rick looked annoyed.
“Look at this as doing service. It is Sunday after all.”
“What are you talking about?” Rick asked.
“Our mother has some hare-brained idea and I need you to protect me. So, scoot in closer.”
“Protect you from what?”
“I don’t think it’s a what, it’s a who,” Lana rang in.
My brother arched his eyebrow. “And who would this be?”
“No one.”
“If this no one is a man, I think I may have to move.”
“If you do, I’m going to tell Momma that Renee Peters has been eyeing you for the past several months.”
My brother turned about fifty shades of red and pulled on his collar. Renee Peters was an attractive widow with two small boys, and she did have an eye for my brother, but so far my brother was either oblivious, or, like me, he was an excellent runner. I was guessing the latter by the color in his cheeks. Rick scooted closer to me and I laughed at him. We were cut from the same mold, he and I. Marathon runners. At least figuratively.
“You know, it’s ridiculous to act like this at our age,” he whispered in my ear.
I shrugged my shoulders. I supposed he was right, but I wasn’t only doing it for me. I had to spare Jason, who was innocent in all of this.
I had barely settled in before the queasiness of being at church overcame me. It normally hit me at the doors, but I had been preoccupied with thwarting Momma’s plans. I looked up to the altar and I could picture the sprays of peach roses and the pastor standing there shaking his head like he had heard Brian wrong. For a moment, I felt that sucker-punched feeling of not being able to breathe. The look on Brian’s face when he obliterated my sense of self in one small phrase was one I will never forget. He looked relieved, like he had averted a huge disaster in marrying me. There was no warmth or even regret over humiliating me in the most public of ways.
I felt a squeeze of my hand bringing me back to the present.
“He was a fool.” Rick held my hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from him.”
I turned toward my thoughtful brother who was looking especially handsome today in his red button-up shirt and dark slacks. He was lucky to have taken after our momma’s side. He had a nice head of hair, though it was starting to show some signs of gray interspersed within his cocoa brown. “How could you have protected me?”
“I knew from the start he wasn’t the right man for you. I should have said something.”
“I probably wouldn’t have believed you.”
“True,” he smiled, “but maybe you would have stopped to think.”
If only.
“Look who I found.” Momma diverted our attention. There she stood with Zander and Jason at the end of the pew.
I smiled up at Zander, who looked like he was back to himself this morning. The mischief in his eyes had returned. He smiled back as if he was in on something. It was then I knew my preemptive strike was in danger.
“Lana, sugar, Max was looking for you,” Momma said in a sickly sweet voice.
“Really?” she practically squealed.
I held on to Lana’s hand for dear life. “You can talk to him after the service.”
“You don’t want to keep your man waiting,” Momma countered.
“She doesn’t have a man,” my brother jumped in.
“You know what I mean,” Momma scolded her son.
Lana jumped up, leaving me vulnerable and annoyed. I looked to my brother for help. I begged him with my eyes to ask Lana to wait.
He smiled back knowingly, but in a shocking move, he stood up, introduced himself to Jason, and shook hands with Zander. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to see how Renee Peters’ cat is doing.” He grinned evilly back at me before he and Lana left me there crawling in my own skin.
Momma looked up to the sky like she was thanking God for what had happened. If you asked me, something sinister was at play.
“Why don’t you boys sit by Kenadie? I’ll be right back.”
Zander wasted no time pushing himself by me and sitting to my left, nice and close. Jason took the spot my dead-to-me brother vacated on my right side.
“Darlin’, I have to say you look different this morning,” Zander said, right off the bat.
“Thanks.” I gave him a big eye roll.
“That was a compliment.” He reached up and touched my curled hair. “I miss the serial killer look, but I love the real you more.”
“You’re such a butthead.”
He threw his head back and laughed.
“Good morning, Kenadie,” Jason said.
I turned to him to return the greeting, only to be thrown off for a second by his eyes. I had noticed before h
e had these intense aqua-colored eyes, but sitting sandwiched next to him gave me a close-up view. They were deep set, and like open windows to his thoughts. His smile reflected the happiness I saw in his eyes. I wondered why he was so cheerful.
“Good morning.” I bit my lip.
“You look lovely this morning.”
Lovely? I’m not sure anyone had ever called me lovely before. I liked it. “Thank you.”
He looked handsome too, but I didn’t feel like it needed to be said. I didn’t need Momma overhearing me compliment him. She would have read way too much into it. For a moment, I got lost in his eyes as he smiled at me. I could feel my mouth turn up and return the gesture.
“Kenz,” Zander said, diverting my attention back to him.
I had to shake off this odd feeling I had.
Zander raised his eyebrow at me in scrutiny. “Why so flushed?”
I reached up and touched my face. It did feel a tad warm. “It’s … this place.”
“Besides me, it’s the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“It’s always about you, isn’t it?” I teased.
He kissed my cheek. “Yes, but everything I said is true.”
“I suppose you’re right, at least partially.”
“Now that hurts.”
“How long have you been coming to this church?” Jason asked me.
I turned back toward him. “The Marshalls have been attending this church for well over fifty years. My granddaddy was a pastor here a long time ago.” He had died when I was five, but I remember sitting on his lap as a little girl and him telling me Bible stories. He even made animal noises when he would tell me the story of Noah’s ark.
“Granddaddy?”
“Are you making fun of my Southern accent?”
He grinned. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“That’s good thinking, because you do not want to infuriate a Southern woman.” I smiled.
He laughed low. “Thanks for the warning.”
“What Kenz means is you don’t want to tick her off. She’s scary,” Zander butted in.
I ignored him. Or at least I tried to. He kept playing with my hair.
“Why are you touching my hair?”
“Because I can’t get over how beautiful you look today.”
I turned to him to make sure I heard his tone right. I was surprised to find his playful eyes were now thoughtful. “I suppose I should say thank you.”
He let my curl slip out of his hands. “That would be the polite thing to do.” The mischief returned to his eyes.
I didn’t get the chance to. Momma came back in all of her glory, grinning from ear to ear. “You boys look so handsome this morning. Don’t you think so, Kennie?”
I dropped my head in defeat. “Yes,” I answered under my breath. I was going to have to up my game. Momma was a force to be reckoned with.
“I didn’t hear that, Nan, did you?” Zander asked.
He was so dead. The back of my hand hit his chest with a thud.
Zander and Jason laughed, but Momma wagged her finger at me. “Manners, Kenadie. After all, we are in the Lord’s house.”
I didn’t respond other than to smirk.
“Mrs. Marshall, would you like me to move down so you can sit by Kenadie?” Jason offered.
His manners were not going to do, though I would have appreciated them if I thought she’d take him up on the offer.
Momma lit up like the Fourth of July. “Well, aren’t you the sweetest thing? I don’t like sitting in the middle, and we need to save room at the end for Rick and Lana, so I’ll just squeeze past you.” Without another thought, she pushed her way past Jason and me and sat on the other side of Zander. She began stroking his hair like he was her pet. Zander lapped it up. Sometimes I wondered if she loved him more than me.
“You had to be polite, didn’t you?” I whispered for Jason’s ears only.
At first he looked confused, but then he peered into my eyes like he was trying to see what made me tick. He really needed to quit doing that. “Do you want me to apologize?”
“No, but believe me, you’ll be sorry if you keep it up.” I faced forward as the choir began to sing “Amazing Grace” and Rick and Lana slipped into the pew.
Rick looked between Jason and me before he winked at me.
I ignored him and tried to focus on the beautiful rendition of one of my favorite hymns. It was the reason we were there. And I hoped, by His grace, I would survive the day.
Chapter Seven
“Any manifestations in church today, Kennie?” Momma asked on our way home from church.
“I did notice that Renee Peters seems to be partial to Rick.” Yes, I threw my brother under the bus. It was every man for himself.
“You noticed that, too?” Momma was more than excited.
“I did.”
“I should have thought to ask her and her darling boys to lunch. Darn it. Oh, well, I didn’t have Easter baskets for them anyway,” she muttered to herself.
“There’s always next Sunday.”
Her face beamed with anticipation. “True.”
I thought I was off the hook, but I should have known better.
“I think that Jason may be sweet on you.”
I coughed loudly. “He is no such thing.”
“Kenadie Anne, I know when a man has a thing for a woman.”
I sighed loudly. “Momma, even if he did, which he doesn’t, I’m not interested.”
“Kenadie,” Momma raised her voice, “enough is enough. You are wasting your precious life away. So you made a mistake. I made a mistake!”
I almost stopped the car. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Momma, as wonderful as she was, always had to be right. I glanced over at her to see that even she looked surprised by the admission. I reached over and took her hand. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I shouldn’t have pushed you to marry Brian. Rick and Dylan warned me, but I wouldn’t listen. I got so caught up in wanting you to be taken care of that I … I …”
“It’s not your fault. It was my choice.”
She squeezed my hand. “Oh, Kennie, if your daddy had been alive, this never would have happened.”
“Momma, we don’t know that.” Although I was pretty sure she was right. My daddy would have seen right through Brian, and I would have listened to him. Daddy would have done anything he could have to protect me.
“I’m sorry, honey, but please, please don’t let past mistakes keep you from future happiness.”
“I don’t need a man to make me happy.”
“I know that, but are you really going to be satisfied at the end of your life when all you have to show for it is a successful business?”
“I help make other people happy. That brings me great satisfaction,” I responded defensively.
Momma rubbed my hand. “Kennie, I see the way you act when you look at families and when you hold a baby. You aren’t fooling anyone.”
My eyes stung with tears. Crying twice in one weekend was so unlike me. It was something I avoided at all costs, if I could. I had shed a lifetime’s worth of tears seven years ago. I willed myself not to let them spill over.
“It’s time for the wall around your heart to come down.”
“I can’t afford to make another mistake.”
“Life’s about making mistakes, darlin’, and how you’ve been living your life is the biggest mistake of them all.”
That statement seemed to zap all of the noise out of the car. We drove in silence the rest of the way home.
Everyone was already waiting for us when we got there. They had been given strict instructions by Momma to not enter the house until we arrived, so they were all standing on the back patio when we pulled up the long drive.
After the conversation I had just had with Momma, I was more inclined to want to stay in the car. I’m not sure we had ever been so candid with each other. And I knew she spoke the truth, but I wasn’t sure I had it in me
to deconstruct the walls I had been building for the last several years. My heart was sealed up tighter than Fort Knox.
“Kenadie.” Momma spoke gently.
I turned off the car and faced her. I hated that she looked so worried.
“I love you.”
I reached over and rested my hand on her perfectly manicured hand. “I’ve never doubted that once.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“Now maybe I’ve doubted that a time or two.” I grinned.
“Kenadie Anne, no one is prouder of you than me.”
“I know. We better get in. I think Zander is itching to see what the Easter Bunny brought him.”
Momma’s eyes lit up. Nothing pleased her more than to make others happy. She lived to see their reactions. I liked watching her reaction to others. It was how I felt when the perfect match was made. Receiving engagement and wedding announcements gave me hope and a sense that what I had gone through was for a reason. Maybe it didn’t bring me the kind of happiness Momma wanted for me, or, if I were being honest with myself, the kind of real happiness I craved, but it was the best I would allow myself to have.
I noticed Rick and Jason were pretty chummy when we approached the group patiently waiting on the porch. I was the only one who apparently obeyed the speed limit. It made me uneasy to see Jason and my brother being friendly. I prayed Rick wasn’t jumping on board with our momma’s plans. Rick was supposed to be my ally. He knew what it was like to be blindsided by the person who was supposed to love you the most. He used to have no qualms telling our momma to lay off the dating stuff, but I felt like maybe the tide was changing, and he was jumping on her bandwagon. That wasn’t going to do.
“Could you drive any slower?” Zander asked as soon as we made it to the porch.
“I was trying to delay seeing you.”
He pulled me to him and hugged me tight. “You know you can’t live without me.”
“Sometimes,” I whispered against him.
He chuckled and let me go. “Well, Nan, I can’t wait to see what you’ve come up with this year,” Zander said to Momma’s pleasure. He really knew how to work the system, or at least my momma.
With eagerness, Momma opened the back door for everyone. Zander pushed his way through to be the first in. Lana laughed and followed him. Rick and Jason came out of their conversation and, for some odd reason, they both turned their attention to me.
Dating by Design Series Box Set Page 8
