“I’ve been telling Zander I’m hilarious, but he never believes me.”
He nudged me. “I don’t know if I’d say hilarious.”
“Just for that, I’m suggesting bright purple walls.”
“I like purple,” he teased.
We headed to the paint department, which was packed with couples. Who knew picking out paint was the hot thing to do on Saturday night?
“Maybe you can bring Liz here on one of your dates,” I suggested as we looked at paint samples.
He shrugged. “I don’t want to give her the wrong idea.”
“And what would that be?”
He gazed down at me with a meaningful look. “If you allow a woman to have a say in how you decorate your place, that’s like telling her you want her to be a permanent fixture in your life.”
“Or maybe she would be like me, and know you’re just asking a friend for help.”
His brow crinkled and he turned from me. “Yeah.”
For some reason, I felt like his mood shifted. I couldn’t understand why.
“I think you should get several samples of colors you may like,” I suggested.
“Why?”
“Because choosing what looks good in the store doesn’t always work once you get it on your own walls. And it’s also good to make sure you like the way the color looks both in the sunlight and at night.”
“If you say so.”
“I do, but it’s completely up to you. This is your home.”
He gave me a close-lipped smile. “Thank you, Kenadie.”
“You don’t have to keep saying that.”
“What if I want to?”
“Then I suppose you can. And, by the way, you’re welcome.”
We chose ten different colors that were mostly in the brown family, but on the lighter, warmer side, like the color of wheat. I think the guy that mixed the paint was annoyed, we had him mix up so many colors, but he could deal. Painting your home is a huge ordeal and commitment. There’s nothing worse than hating the color you chose and having to redo it. That had happened to me in my master bath. I think Zander was still annoyed at me for the double duty.
We got back to his place around nine and went to work painting test squares on the wall that separated his great room from his kitchen. We sat back against the window wall and admired our handiwork while we clinked glasses of chocolate milk.
“Sorry, I don’t have anything better to drink.” He took a sip of his drink.
“Did you already drink the wine my momma bought you?” I was still dying over that.
He chuckled. “No, I’m saving that for a special occasion.”
“Painting doesn’t rank, huh?”
“Almost.”
“That’s okay, I think chocolate milk and painting go together better anyway.” I took a nice long drink. I hadn’t had chocolate milk in forever. I made a mental note to put it on my next grocery list.
We sat close to each other, with our legs stretched out in front of us. We were almost touching, but not quite. It was weird how comfortable I was around him. We kept looking at each other and smiling.
“What do you think of the colors now?” I looked toward the multi-colored painted wall.
He deliberated for a moment. “I think, so far, I like Lion, Earth Yellow, and Fallow.”
I nodded in agreement. “I like those, too. They add warmth, but let’s see how they look in the daytime.”
“So what you’re saying is, you’re going to come over tomorrow.”
I looked up at his practically perma-happy face and those eyes. Seriously, the most beautiful eyes. “If you want me to.”
“You don’t think I want to paint all by myself do you?”
“You want to paint tomorrow?”
“No time like the present.”
“Well, it will give me a good excuse not to go to church with Momma.”
“You don’t like church?”
“I love church, but I don’t like going to that church.”
He cocked his head in confusion.
“My wedding was at that church,” I clarified.
“Ah. I see.”
“I know I should get over it, but every time I’m there, or at any church for that matter, I picture Brian telling the world he doesn’t want me.” I shook my head. “I don’t know why I told you that.”
He rested his warm hand on my leg. “Don’t be embarrassed.”
I sighed. “I should probably go home.”
“Kenadie,” he spoke softly.
I met his concern-filled eyes. “I’m sure he regrets it.”
I practically laughed. “I doubt it. He married some beauty queen and he made it pretty clear he was relieved to leave me.”
“Kenadie,” he said with more emphasis, “I don’t know what his deal was, but I guarantee he regrets it.”
I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t and wouldn’t believe that. “At least I don’t have the regret of being married to him.” I had plenty of other regrets, but I was thankful I didn’t end up with him.
“Do you ever see him?”
“No, thank goodness. We run in very different circles. My circles being home, work, family, and Zander.”
“We’ll have to see what we can do to expand your horizons.”
“I suppose you consider me helping you paint a part of that.”
“How did you know?”
“Lucky guess.”
He stood up first and held his hands out to me to help me up. I took them without thinking or hesitation. I didn’t think about it until afterward, when he held on a little longer and smiled at me, but it wasn’t a laughing or playful smile, it conveyed something different, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
“Thank you.” I released his hands. I felt unusually warm.
“No, thank you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Jason took me home and insisted on walking me to my door. He said his mom would be disappointed in him if he didn’t, so I relented and let him. He shocked me again by kissing my cheek before he left. I guessed that must be how he says goodbye, at least to the opposite sex. But who knew? Maybe he was walking Zander to the door and kissing his cheeks, too. I smiled at my ridiculous notion, but after I thought about it, I could totally see Zander insisting on it, but I could also see Jason telling him what he could do with that suggestion.
Speaking of Zander, my best friend called me close to midnight. It was so weird not talking to him all day. We usually talked at least a couple times, if not more, on the weekends.
“Hey, butthead, it’s kind of late.”
“You’re obviously up.”
“So what are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m talking to you.”
“That’s original.”
“Did you miss me today?” he asked.
I had to think about that. I suppose I did, but not like usual, where I felt lonely. I hadn’t felt lonely at all today. “Sure.”
“That hurts, darlin’. Has Jason already replaced me?”
“How did you know I was with him?”
“He told me he was going to ask you to help, and I bet him you wouldn’t. I’m not sure whether to be disappointed in you or proud of you.”
“What did you lose?” I was completely annoyed with the both of them for making me part of a bet.
“Don’t get all snippy. Jason wouldn’t bet me. He said it would be disrespectful toward you or some crap.”
“Now I’m some crap?”
He laughed loudly. “You know I adore you.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“So how was today?” he asked, almost as if he was hesitant.
“It was fine. We picked out furniture and tested out different colors of paint for his walls.”
“Sounds like a full day.”
“It was. I barely got home.”
He was quiet on his end. Very un-Zander like.
“What did you do today?” I asked into the silence.
�
�I was busy, too.”
“Doing what?”
“Are you my mother now?”
“Uh, no. What is your problem with me lately? Have I done something to upset you? You’ve been so hot and cold with me.”
I could hear him release a huge breath. “I’m sorry, Kenz. You’re perfect.”
“Sarcasm now?”
“I’m not being sarcastic.”
“Zander, you can talk to me.”
“I will, but not now.”
“Then at least tell me it’s not anything I should worry about.”
“You don’t need to worry, Kenz.”
“Why don’t you come and help us paint tomorrow? We already designated you as the clean-up guy.”
“We?”
“You know what I mean.”
He paused. “I’ll think about it. Goodnight, Kenz.”
“Goodnight.”
I stared at my phone after I hung up. Something was definitely off, and I was worried. Maybe Jason knew, and I could ask him. But what could it be that he wouldn’t tell me? We shared everything … well, almost.
The phone call put a damper on my more than pleasant day. I swear, it was like Zander had PMS. I thought maybe I should buy him some chocolate or a large bottle of Midol.
Sunday morning started with a phone call from the one and only Nan Marshall. I was hoping she wouldn’t call. I didn’t want to lie to her or tell her the truth. I really needed to get more friends, so that at least my lies would be believable. I’m not all about lying. I would call it keeping my sanity. And that’s important, right?
“Kenadie Anne, are you coming to church today?”
“Not today.”
“I should have known. This has gone beyond the ridiculous.”
“I went last week. And I’ll say a few Hail Marys for good measure.”
“We aren’t Catholic.”
“Fine, if you want to be technical.”
“I suppose you’ll read all day and stay in your pajamas.”
I grinned to myself as I looked down at my cutoffs and my painting t-shirt, which was multiple shades of color from several painting projects. “You make that sound like a bad thing.”
“It’s not bad, but the Lord would rather see you in church.”
“I think He likes me happy.”
“Are you happy?” Momma asked with concern.
“Define happy?”
“If I have to tell you what it means, the answer is no.”
“I’m content. A lot of people can’t say that. And happiness is fleeting.”
“It doesn’t have to be. People can be happy in any circumstance.”
I knew she was speaking from experience. She was happy, despite losing Daddy and living alone. She lived life to its fullest. “Momma, I love you.”
“Come to church and lunch today. Renee and her boys are joining Rick, Lana, and me.”
“Does Rick know?”
“Are you sassing me?”
“Never.”
“Yes, he knows and he’s delighted by it.”
I didn’t think Rick had ever been delighted.
“I don’t want to get in the way.” And Rick deserved this after Easter.
“Nonsense. What else do you have to do?”
“Stuff.” I was terrible at this lying thing, which I guess was good.
“I’m coming over to pick you up,” Momma said in utter frustration.
“I won’t be here.” I regretted those words as soon as they came out of my mouth.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Please tell me you aren’t working today.”
“I’m not.”
“Are you going to be with Zander?”
“Maybe.” I still wasn’t sure he was coming. I texted him first thing, but he was still noncommittal and a little pre-menstrual, or the guy equivalent.
“Why are you being so mysterious this morning, young lady? Say what you have to say.”
That was easier said than done, or at least I thought so. Nanette Marshall was a pretty sharp lady.
“Ohhh,” she said almost evilly. “Jason doesn’t happen to be involved does he?”
I should have faked cramps. Why didn’t I blame it on menstruating earlier? Dang it. “Yes, he does, but before you get all excited, he only asked me to help decorate and paint his place so that he can impress his dates. End of story.”
“He’s letting you decorate his place?”
“Did you hear anything else I said?”
“I heard the most important piece of information. Kennie, when a man asks a woman to decorate his place that says something. Open your eyes, honey.”
“He’s using my dating service. He doesn’t want to date me.”
“I don’t know what he’s doing using your services, but I’m telling you, I know what I’m talking about. Adelaide and Cissy both agree with me. Jason has a thing for you.”
“It’s called friendship.”
She sighed heavily. “Call it what you want. I pray you open your eyes before it’s too late. Don’t let this one get away.”
I was so tired of arguing with her. I almost canceled on Jason and went to church, but I knew that she would be unhappy now if that was my choice. She would rather see me with a man than attending church. “Enjoy your day.”
“You, too.” It was a command.
I could hear the gossip at church now. Momma was going to play this one for all it was worth. Maybe now she would even do some Hail Marys. I could picture her praying right now asking God to help me find the error of my ways and for Jason and me to fall madly in love and give her a half a dozen grandchildren.
I did feel bad. I wanted to make her happy, and even give her lots of grandchildren. I had even thought about adoption, but I never got past the thinking stage. I even imagined adding a little nursery off my office, but in the end, I knew that was an experience and life change I wanted to experience with a husband. A husband I would never have.
On my drive over to Jason’s, I felt less than elated. I had woken up in good spirits, despite Zander’s unnatural behavior weighing on me, but Momma had zapped it right out of me.
I looked over at the orange cranberry muffins and freshly squeezed orange juice that I had made early that morning. They were sitting on my passenger seat. I had honestly felt cheerful when I was putting it all together. I didn't know why I still couldn’t feel that way. But my momma’s unrealistic expectations rained on my parade. Why couldn’t she be happy that I was making friends outside of my very small circle? And why couldn’t she see that Jason wasn’t interested in me? The guy had joined a dating service, for crying out loud.
Her line of thinking also got me to thinking, which wasn’t a good thing. I had been trying very hard to forget that we were extremely compatible, and that sometimes, when we were near each other, I had these faint stirrings within the pit of my stomach. Then there were the warm kisses on my cheek. They felt different than Zander kisses. Oh! This was so stupid!
I was at Jason’s in no time and walking my basket full of goodies up his porch steps. I knocked on his door. I must have been in my designer mode, because I noticed that the door needed some shades or etching on the large window in the middle. It was beautiful, but not good for privacy.
He sauntered toward the door, grinning from ear to ear. He looked too good to be painting. Tight jeans, and a blue fit-me-perfectly t-shirt.
I looked down at my ensemble and felt a little foolish.
He opened the door. “Good morning.”
“Hi,” I responded.
His eyes landed on the basket. “Did you bake for me?”
“Uh … I made breakfast.”
“So you baked for me.”
“I guess you could say that.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet, you haven’t tasted them.”
“After your banana cream pie and rolls, I have no doubt my taste buds are in for a real treat. Which reminds me
; I have your pan, and that book I thought you might like to read.”
I was surprised he remembered that discussion. “That would be great.” I stepped into his practically empty house. My focus immediately settled on the many-colored wall that now had blue painter’s tape along all the edges. “So did you decide on a color this morning?”
He relieved me of my basket and winked. “I think so.”
“And?”
“I want you to tell me your favorite first.”
“Okay?”
We approached the wall together and I looked it over. To me, out of his favorite three from the night before, there was a clear winner. In my humble opinion, it looked the best at night and day. “This is your call, but I love Fallow. It really seems to blend well with the lighting and colors in your home.”
He smiled wide. “That was my choice, too.”
“Are you just saying that?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Well, that was easy. When I painted my living room, I think I went back to the hardware store three times for more samples. The guy there knew me by name by the time it was all said and done.”
“I bet it had more to do with you than the paint.”
I cocked my head. “What do mean?”
He perused me from head to toe. “Do you ever look in a mirror?”
I looked down at my beyond casual outfit. I felt a tiny sting of embarrassment. “I know I look like a slob today.”
In an unprecedented move, he set down the basket and tipped my chin up with gentleness. When our eyes met, I caught my breath. Wow—did he have amazing eyes. They kind of did something to me.
“Kenadie, you look fantastic. I love a woman who can let loose. I’ll take this look any day over an evening gown.”
“You know a lot of women who wear evening gowns?”
He grinned. “Did I mention boring-as-hell fundraisers?”
“I think I remember something about that.”
He leaned in a tad closer as his eyes held mine. He still had a hold of my chin. I didn’t remember when another human being had touched me so much in such a short space of time. And I wasn’t sure why I was comfortable with it, or maybe I wasn’t. There was a knock on the door. I jumped and stepped back from him.
I saw a flash of annoyance in his eyes before we both turned to the door. There stood Zander, looking through the window with wide eyes. He didn’t look all that happy, either. That disappointed me. What was his deal?
Dating by Design Series Box Set Page 16
