I picked up one of his button-ups that was sitting on top. I loved that shirt, and soaked in the way it smelled like him. I shoved it back in his bag. What was I thinking? Actually, what was he thinking?
All morning I worried. I was just about ready to go looking for them when my brothers came walking through the mudroom. I happened to be passing by to the laundry room. Their evil grins and the fact Zander wasn’t with them made my heart pound.
I dropped the basket of clothes I was holding. “Where’s Zander?”
They both sat down on the wooden bench removing layers as they went.
“Don’t get your panties in a wad, he’s alive.” Colton was unlacing his boots.
“Barely.” Lincoln chuckled.
Major panic creeped in. “What? Is he okay? What did you do to him?”
“Thought you didn’t care about him?” Colton taunted me.
“I never said that. You better tell me what happened right now, or I’m calling Dad.”
“Don’t worry, your precious boyfriend is fine, at least he is now.” Lincoln walked past me laughing, headed for the kitchen.
“Stop right there. There will be no food until you tell me where he is.”
Colton joined us in the hall. “We told you, he’s fine. He’s with Dad.”
They both looked at each other and busted out laughing.
“You can head to your own places. I’m not feeding you.”
“Don’t be like that, sis.” Colton ruffled my hair.
“It’s not our fault if the city slicker almost killed himself.” Lincoln was still laughing.
I marched right past the idiots. “I’m calling Dad.” I headed for the living room where I left my phone.
They followed. “Don’t do that.” Colton sounded worried.
I whipped back around to look at him. “Why?”
“We just played a little trick on him.”
I narrowed my eyes at both the red-faced fools.
“Can we at least sit by the fire to warm up?” Lincoln headed that way.
We all ended up in the living room together. I sat on the couch while Lincoln and Colton warmed themselves by the fire.
“Tell me what happened.” I held my phone in my hand as a threat.
“You go ahead, Colton.” Lincoln smiled.
Colton grinned with pleasure. “First, I’ll give it to your boy that he’s not one to back down or shy away from working. He throws a bale of hay as well as anyone I know.”
I didn’t know why that filled me with pride and regret that I missed seeing it. I thought he was attractive before. I could only imagine that would have had me knocking him down to get tangled up in the hay. I’d thought about his kiss more often than I should have. It left me wanting more and then some. I had to focus back on Colton’s story.
“We got the trailer hitched to the old Ford and stacked it with the hay. Your boy was doing a decent job tossing it out while Lincoln and I were in the cab.”
“Why weren’t you helping him? You guys can make the truck drive itself down the rutted road.”
They grinned between themselves.
“Please don’t tell me that you—”
“We jumped out and when he realized no one was driving the truck he jumped off and tried to get in the cab, but he slipped.”
My hand flew to my mouth.
“Landed face first in the snow.” Colton and Lincoln laughed. “Came up sputtering.”
“You guys are jerks. Why would you do that? Is Dad taking him to the airport? Because that’s where I would be headed if I were him.”
“It was all well and good until one of the heifers charged him.”
“WHAT!”
Lincoln and Colton at least had the decency to look ashamed.
Colton rubbed the back of his neck. “Thankfully Dad had an inkling and he and Dakota made it out to the pasture just in time. Dakota got between the heifer and Zander before Dad came riding up on Gus and drove her completely away.” Gus was my dad’s horse.
“You guys could have gotten him killed. Where were you during all of this?”
“You know that patch of trees near the shed?” Lincoln wouldn’t meet my eyes.
I shook my head at the two of them.
“We were heading his way,” Colton tried to explain.
Their excuses meant nothing to me. “Where did Dad take him?”
They both shrugged.
“He’s never going to want me now.” I started dialing my dad.
“Hey.” Colton joined me on the couch.
I scooted away from him.
“I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
Tears stung my eyes. I cared for Zander more than I should and despite our improbability, I wanted him, even if I shouldn’t. “You guys have no idea.” I got up and headed to my room. They could feed themselves. I called my dad as soon as I closed my door.
It rang a couple of times before he answered. “He’s all right, Megan.” I didn’t even have to ask.
“Where are you?”
“We’ll be back in a bit.”
I let it be. I knew he would be safe with my dad. I sat on my bed with my phone in my hand staring at it aimlessly, thinking about wringing Colton and Lincoln’s necks. And about Zander. As much as I felt like he had hurt me, he didn’t deserve this.
The boys snuck out of the house quietly, the idiots. They were as immature as ever. I felt sorry for my sister-in-law.
I spent the rest of my afternoon preparing a warm meal of chicken and dumplings for my dad and Zander.
Around four o’clock in the afternoon I heard my dad’s truck roar up the drive. I ran to the mudroom to wait for them. I was anxious to see Zander. It didn’t take long for them and Dakota to enter. Dakota came straight to me.
I knelt and rubbed his head. “Sounds like you were a good boy today.” I looked up at a worn and weary Zander. He looked worse than when he was sick over Thanksgiving. The coat he wore was dirty and he looked about ready to fall over. I stood up. “Are you all right?”
He nodded, if barely. “I’m going to take a shower and head for bed.”
“I have a room ready for you.”
He took a seat on the bench. I watched as he painfully took off his boots and coat. I wanted to help him, but knew that wouldn’t go over well. My dad’s reaction to him surprised me. He too watched Zander, but I swore I detected a hint of admiration in his gaze.
Zander slowly stood up. I could feel his aches and pains. “Lead the way, darlin’.”
He followed me to what we used to call the kid’s part of the house. As we walked by the linen closet, I got him a fresh set of towels and handed them to him. “Colton’s room is next door to the bathroom. Can I get you anything else?”
“Yes, but we’ll talk about that later.”
“I’m sorry about my brothers.”
He moaned when he leaned down and kissed my head. “Don’t be. Paybacks will be hell.”
Warmth rushed from my head to toes. “Did you just kiss me first again?”
“Darlin, that’s not a kiss.”
I felt even warmer thinking about his real kisses. “I can bring you something to eat when you get out.”
“I’m going to be lucky if I make it through the shower. I’d ask for your help in there, but I know what your answer would be.”
“Does that bother you?”
“I need some sleep before we get into this.” He headed for the bathroom.
I could understand that. I let him be and found my dad in the kitchen. He was already eating.
“You’re not our maid, Megan.” He took another bite.
I sat down next to him at the table. “I know that, but what else would I do all day?”
“You need to go home and live your life.”
“I kind of messed that up.”
Dad set his fork down. “How?”
I tucked some hair behind my ear. “For starters, I quit my job.”
Dad raised his eyebrow
s. “I thought this was a vacation?”
“It can be. My boss, Kenadie, wouldn’t accept my resignation.”
“Why did you quit?”
How did I tell him? “You see, Zander . . . I mean, I mixed my personal life with business when I shouldn’t have, especially not with someone like Zander.”
“What do you mean someone like him?”
“He’s a player and a self-proclaimed eternal bachelor.”
Dad actually grinned. I didn’t know he could do that. His weathered face looked younger. He should do that more often. “Most men are. We grow out of it.”
I tilted my head. “What are you saying?”
“You look like your mother when you do that.” He shook his head. “She got to me.”
I smiled, but felt the prick of tears in my eyes. I missed her more than ever. “Are you trying to say you were never going to get married?”
“That was my plan.”
“Did Mom know?”
“No. She knew from the moment we met she had me in the palm of her hand. She had me driving six hours one way every weekend to see her.”
My mom grew up in Cheyenne, or as my dad called it, the big city. It had nothing on Atlanta. I knew that they’d met at Cheyenne Frontier Days. My mom told me the story a hundred times how they were both at the bull riding event. I guess I was like my Mom—she got anxious and would stand up to cheer or to shout her displeasure. She got knocked over by accident by someone passing by and she happened to land in my dad’s lap. She said she knew right away that she never wanted to be in another man’s arms. I loved that story.
“Why did you change your mind?”
“When I met your mother, I forgot there ever was another choice.”
A few tears leaked out and rolled down my cheek.
My dad brushed them away with his rough, calloused hand. “I think you have yourself a young man who’s having a hard time remembering why he ever wanted to stay single.”
“You don’t know him.”
My dad turned back to his dinner. “He’s here. What does that say?”
That was a good question.
Chapter Twenty-Five
My dad fell asleep that night on his recliner. I stayed up stringing popcorn and cranberries while sitting on the bearskin rug in front of the crackling fireplace. It was ten o’clock. Zander had been asleep for hours. It was cozy working by the glow of firelight and the lit but bare Christmas tree. I thought about how romantic it could have been if I had someone to share the moment with.
I was beginning to wonder if Zander could read my thoughts. I heard the floor creak behind me. I turned around to see a more rested but still disheveled man in pajama pants and a t-shirt. He was rubbing his arms.
“There’s room for you on the rug.”
He didn’t need me to ask twice. He was by my side in record time, warming himself in front of the blazing fire. “How do you live here?”
“You get used to it.”
“No, thanks.”
I smiled at him. “You’re free to go home anytime. I’m not holding you hostage.”
“Says you.”
“What does that mean?”
He pressed his lips together and took a deep breath. He looked over at my dad, I assume to make sure he was sleeping. He rubbed the bearskin, buying time. “I always fantasized about what I would do on one of these.” He picked up a string of my garland. “I didn’t imagine this.”
My heart took a direct blow. I faced the fire. “I’m not your fantasy.”
He brushed my hair back. “No.”
I turned and met his eyes that reflected the firelight. My heart was aching. “Why did you come here?”
He moved in closer and rested his cool hand on my warm cheek. “Meg, I want you to be my reality, and that scares the hell out of me.”
Did he really just say he wanted me to be his reality? By the way my heart was racing, I would say I heard him right. But . . . “I scare you?”
“The fact that surprises you scares me even more.”
“What are you saying?”
His hand dropped to find mine. Our fingers wove together and it was like I felt my soul intertwine with his. He was right. I would know if he was really holding my hand. “You’ve ruined me.”
“How do you figure?”
His smirk made an appearance. I had missed it. “After Thanksgiving, I went back to that restaurant I took you to on Halloween.”
“Yeah?” I was getting ready to pull my hand away.
Zander gripped tighter. “Let me finish. You guessed it, Yolanda was there and she made herself available to me like I knew she would. And that’s what I thought I wanted, but all I could think about was you. I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me and sure as hell didn’t want you to see me there with her.”
“What did you do?”
“I tried to push past it, but when she sat down, I kept thinking, that’s where Meg belongs. And when she touched me—”
I raised my eyebrow.
“Get your mind out of the gutter.” He brought my hand up and kissed it. I loved the feel of his lips on my skin. “Her touch felt wrong, so I left.”
“I don’t get it. You were awful to me.”
He turned toward the fire. “I know. I thought if I distanced myself from you, whatever this pull you had on me would go away.”
“Did it work?”
His head barely shook. “It only got worse.”
“So you kissed Eva to see if that would help?”
“Give me some credit. She kissed me, and if it makes you feel better, it was terrible. And the only reason I even brought the mistletoe was because I was hoping you would kiss me.”
“You wouldn’t even look at me.”
“I kept hoping the woman who had showed up at my door would appear and take what I knew you wanted, what we both wanted.”
“I thought you didn’t know what you wanted?”
“I know what I want; I’m not sure if I can. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You did hurt me.”
He turned and met my eyes. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m telling you right now, I know you deserve someone better than me. Someone who knows how to be in a relationship. Someone who doesn’t want to ravish you right here and now.”
I ran my fingers through his hair. “You haven’t tried, so that’s something.”
He looked over at my mom’s old china cabinet that was now filled with several rifles, and then at my dad’s slumbering figure. “I value my life.”
I laughed softly.
Zander ran his thumb across my hand. “Meg.” His tone turned serious. “I find myself in a precarious situation. I feel like I don’t know how to be without you anymore, but I don’t have any idea of how to be with you either.”
“Yeah, that’s a tough one.” I rested my head on his shoulder. “What do we do?”
He kissed the top of my head. “I don’t know, but I like how this feels. I missed you.”
“Did it hurt to admit that?”
He laughed. “More than you know.”
“I missed you, too.”
We went to bed that night without solving a thing, but I couldn’t tell you how good it felt to be by his side. How sweet it felt when he kissed my cheek and lingered before we parted for the night. I yearned for him to kiss me like he had before, but tonight didn’t seem like the right moment for it. As I lay in bed, he made up my every thought. The question was, would I be a fool to try, or would I be a fool if I didn’t?
I slept until the sun crept through my curtains. That was more like it. I had gone soft. But I bolted up, worried that my brothers had abducted Zander while I slept. I ran across the hall and knocked on Zander’s door. “Zander?” I heard some rustling. My heart calmed.
“Darlin’?”
“Can I come in?”
“Is this a test?”
I laughed. “No.”
“Okay.”
I opened the door to find him sittin
g up in bed looking like he could use a few more hours of sleep, but whoa did he look good. The ruggedness worked for him. I approached his bed and sat down next to him. “I’m sorry I woke you up. I was worried my idiot brothers had snuck in.”
“You didn’t see how angry your dad was yesterday.”
“That bad, huh?”
“I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side. How would he feel about his daughter in my room?”
“Should we ask him?”
“No.” He threw his arms around me.
“Do you want to do something fun today?”
“Is this another test?”
“Something fun outside the bedroom.”
“We don’t need a bedroom.”
“Zander.”
“I know.” He nuzzled my neck. “I’m sorry, but I never thought flannel could be so sexy.”
“You know, it’s not easy for me sometimes either.”
His head shot up. “Really?”
“Of course. I’m human too.”
“So, you’re saying you want me?”
I braved it and brushed his lips with mine.
His eyes lit up.
“I’m saying if and when we ever get to that point, you and me together would be worth the wait.”
He held my gaze and peered into my eyes for a moment without saying a word, but did I ever feel the intensity. “You would be worth waiting for.”
“Keep saying things like that and you may find me hard to get rid of.”
“I think I like the sound of that.”
“Well, while you’re thinking, get ready. I want to show you how beautiful it is here and how much fun the snow can be.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
“You doubt me?”
“Not in the least.” He pressed his lips to mine.
They felt as good as I remembered. My hands ran up his chest and around his neck. I pulled him closer.
“Ouch,” he winced. Not the reaction I was expecting.
I pulled away. “Sorry?”
“Sorry, darlin’. I’m sore.”
“What were you thinking, getting a sports car?”
Dating by Design Series Box Set Page 47
