“Alright,” he said, his voice firm. “It’s time to shower up and get some rest.” He stood and held out his hand.
“But, Ash,” Fi protested, “I mean, doesn’t what I just told you have any impact on you?”
He frowned. “Of course it does, Fi, but you’re exhausted, and frankly, I am too. I just sat here for three hours watching you beat yourself against a rock, and I’ve had enough. We’ll talk about this more tomorrow.” He gestured again with his outstretched hand and then his voice softened. “C’mon Fi, please, let’s rest.”
She sighed and took his hand to get up. “Ooh,” she winced as she put her weight back on her feet.
“C’mon,” he bent over and gestured for her to climb up onto his back.
“But I’m disgusting, Ash!”
He rolled his eyes. Like her sweatiness was the biggest issue they had right now.
“Gimme a break, Fi. We’ll both take a shower, ok? You need to get off your feet.”
With a weary smile, she acquiesced and hopped onto his back. For a second he felt her hesitate before wrapping her arms and legs around him, and pressing her sweaty body to his back. She was too tired to do much to help him hold her, but his grip on her thighs was strong. As he began the gentle lope back to his pod, he noticed that she felt like little more than a wet leaf clinging to his back. He sighed in frustration. She must have lost actual pounds of water on that treadmill. He felt her lay her head against his back. At least she was finally too tired to argue with him.
He considered his plan as they made their way. When he’d thought of her as a woman looking to run off a cliff it had triggered an idea, a way to help her maybe. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that it had to be the answer. They would have to brave it, despite it being winter Topside. Fi needed it. Heck, he thought tiredly, he needed it too. He shuffled wearily, looking forward to collapsing with her into bed.
The following morning, Asher waited by Fi’s side for her to awaken. When she finally did, she startled at the sight of him hovering over her in his full Seeding gear. Inside Eden they typically wore their cargos and dri-fits to train, and otherwise favored the colony uniform of jeans and t-shirts. He knew that his attire would deliver a message, and that message was, “Today we are addressing this issue.”
Fi rubbed her eyes and sat up on her elbows. “What’s up?”
“First things first,” he smiled. “How are you feeling this morning? In particular, how are your feet?”
She frowned for a moment and he saw her feet wiggle beneath the blanket as she flexed them. “Sore,” she admitted, “but ok. May I ask why, Mr. Mysterious?”
Asher got up and retrieved her Seeding gear and handed it to her. “Because we’re going on a trip.”
Confused, Fi slid to the side of the bed and pulled on her pants and long-sleeved top, the question written all over her face. “Topside?” she asked, as she pulled her hair from the neck of her shirt. He nodded. “Right now, in the snow?” She was clearly perplexed.
He nodded again and tried to smile, but he didn’t really feel like it. Though he knew she would be excited about this trip, they were taking it because she needed to make up her mind. It couldn’t wait another day. They would be married in just a few months and he needed to know that they were still a team.
“Where are we going?” she persisted.
“It’s a surprise,” he replied.
It was all she was going to get out of him, though he was certain that she would keep trying. All he could think about was their destination. He hoped to hell that it had the same impact on her that it did on him. Fi watched Asher’s actions with a raised eyebrow. He knew that she saw that he only included day-hiking supplies…and when he grabbed his sword her eyes widened.
“Precaution,” he murmured, and she nodded. Even if it was a day hike, they couldn’t take any chances.
“I assume Gary is not in on this plan?” she smiled.
Asher grunted as he strapped on the sword. “What do you think?”
This time, the smile did come naturally, and she smirked in return. He knew she would get a kick out of that. It was so like them to play outside the rules.
She followed Asher eagerly out the door and toward the east corridors. “So please tell me, because I’m dying to know…how is this going to stay secret?”
Asher threw an annoyed look over his shoulder. She was taking this way too lightly, like she hadn’t run herself to death just twelve hours ago. “Because,” he explained, “we’re going to turn in just a moment and take the back way to the Southern Hatch.” Her eyes widened. “It’s the least well monitored,” he added, and she nodded, following now in silence.
He knew that she was on board. They would sneak out the Southern Hatch and down into the ravine, and then return the same way. Besides, at this point he didn’t even care if Gary caught them. They were adults, and he knew Fi needed it.
They made their way through the tunnels to the Southern Hatch. This hatch was so rarely used that once they got beyond the sanitization room, the tunnels grew incredibly dark, the lights flickering. After a series of tight turns, they stood at the bottom of the dark concrete chute leading up to the hatch. An iron ladder fixed to the wall reached down to them from the darkness. Condensation dripped quietly as Asher swung his flashlight upward, the beam cutting through the darkness like a spotlight.
“You first,” he gestured, and Fi nodded.
She grabbed the rungs and he could see her test them for grip. Good girl, he thought, glad to see that her normal life-preservation instincts were intact this morning. She clambered up, her small frame and pack disappearing into the darkness. He gripped the rungs and pulled himself up behind her. The ladder rose far enough that after a while he couldn’t see the bottom of the chute, just the subtle glow of the distant electric lighting. At the top, the ladder curved up to meet a concrete platform. There, he found Fi holding a flashlight, a playful look on her face.
“I hope you brought your big boy pants today, because I’m not gonna be able to move this thing.” She indicated the metal wheel of the hatch.
Asher gripped the wheel, turning with all his might, and grunting with the strain. It moved an inch, but no more. “Whew!” When he released the wheel, he was panting, and he could feel his pulse thumping in his hands. Hmm, he thought, unsure what to do next. He hadn’t considered the possibility that they might not be able to get out. This hatch was so rarely used that the door was really tough. He wasn’t even certain that it wasn’t rusted shut.
“Let’s try it together,” Fi suggested. “You already got it going, maybe it’s like a glass jar and it just needs a little more.”
He inhaled, flexing his sore hands, and nodded. He put his hands on the actual wheel, while Fi put her flashlight on the ground and grabbed the top spoke of the wheel with both hands.
“Just like the game show,” she smiled, “I’ll pull down with all my weight while you spin.”
“Ok,” he said, “One…two…three!”
He felt Fi yank down with her full weight, while he turned from the other side. The metal squealed and turned about six inches and then stopped.
“One more time,” he gasped, and Fi nodded and reached up for the new spoke at the top of the wheel. “One, two, three!” They pulled again, and this time when the wheel squeaked forward it whirled free and spun from their hands.
“Whoa, whoops!” Fi nearly lost her balance and had to grab the top of the platform ladder to steady herself. She laughed, a nervous titter. “That was close.” She smiled at Asher in the dim light. “We did it.”
Asher grinned, stretching his sore hands. He spun the wheel the rest of the way and felt it unseal. As he inched it open, a small cascade of dirt and pebbles streamed through, clattering and fizzing its way down the darkened chute. Once it swung completely open, Asher pushed forward and the loose wall of rocks immediately gave way. Sunlight streamed into the shaft, half-blinding them both.
Carefully, Asher
stepped out onto the rock ledge beside the hatch. “Take your time Fi,” he urged, as he helped her out. “The ledge is a little icy.”
Fi stepped out behind him and blinked in the harsh glare of the snowy day. She pulled on her sunglasses and peered around with a smile. “Long time since we’ve stood on this ledge, huh Ash?” She squeezed his hand.
His throat tightened at her acknowledgement. Neither of them would ever forget sitting on this ledge the previous fall, when a happy accident had dislodged the rocks hiding the hatch. After years of searching for Eden, it had been one of the best moments of Fi’s life, he knew. And, it had been the site of an important confession. At least, it had been an important confession to him…to learn her full name. Their love had been sealed along with their future in this very place.
Of course, now the stream bubbled below them in a ravine bed covered in snow, the rocks and twigs in the water crusted with thick layers of ice. The only trees not whittled to icy skeletons by the hand of winter were the evergreens, their needles hidden beneath plump billows of snow. Asher shivered as the frigid air filled his lungs and pulled down on his fleece cap. They had to climb down because Eden’s cameras were trained on the edge of the ravine above them. He peered down, examining their options. With everything covered in ice and snow, the climb down was going to be more treacherous than the climb back up.
“I’ll go down first,” he said. “Follow my exact path, ok?” She nodded.
Any path that handled his weight would definitely handle hers. They made their way down using roots and boulders to pick out a safe path. It was slow going. Every foot and handhold had to be tested before committing. A few times one or the other of them slipped for a moment, but the patience of their choices served them well, and when their feet hit the ground, they both exhaled. Fi pulled off her glasses and grinned up at the clear blue sky with one eye squinted shut.
He felt his heart lighten, just a little. Her smile was all the payback he needed for this trip. “Happy to be outside, Fi?”
“Veeeeeery happy.”
Good, he thought. Hopefully she keeps that frame of mind. “This way,” he gestured, walking deeper into the forest along the edge of the streambed.
They hiked for another two hours. She peppered him with questions at first, but when it became clear that he wasn’t going to give away any information, she fell quiet. At first he was worried that she would get lost in her negative thoughts again, but when he heard her humming under her breath, he relaxed. Between the sunshine and the physicality of the hike, she was enjoying herself.
Finally they reached the spot in their hike where the ground began to rise, and Asher felt his heart quicken. They were almost there. The climb transformed from a gentle rise to a nearly straight ascension. Once they reached a high ledge, Asher pointed toward a break in the birch trees to the left.
“I’ll go first,” he said. “Follow behind me, but take it slow.”
He saw the confusion on her face, but he slipped away through the brambles surrounding the stand of birch. Even with the knowledge of what he was about to see, his breath caught as he stepped out onto the canyon edge, the whipping wind seizing every free hair and flap of fabric. He closed his eyes and exhaled, relieved to have returned to this place, at this moment. Just a few feet in front of him, the ground fell away into a deep, rocky chasm cut by a river, thick with mid-winter melt. The sky above was blue and vast, with wisps of icy clouds. It felt right to be here, he thought, as he turned back just in time to see Fi emerge from the forest.
As she stepped out of the tree line, her eyes widened in shock, and he smiled. You would never know that this cliff was here if you stayed within the tree line. His coming across it had been a complete accident, though he was grateful. He motioned for Fi to step forward and as she did, the wind caught her hair and tugged it, wrestling strays from beneath her wool hat. He could see her eyes searching the horizon in wonder, and he turned. It was time to take her experience one step further.
A rocky spine about four feet in diameter jutted from the cliff face, sliding into the yawning chasm like the prow of a ship. At its topmost point, it separated from the cliff by about a foot and formed a single pillar of rock, a pedestal for the brave...or the reckless, Asher thought, as his heartbeat pounded in his ears. The wind was strong and he suddenly felt unnerved about the next step in his plan. He eyed the one-foot gap between the cliff and pillar and took a deep breath. You’ve done this before, he reminded himself, and stepped out onto the pillar. Over the wind, he heard Fi gasp.
“It’s ok, Fi,” he called, without turning back to her. He examined the footing and decided that there was definitely room for them both. He turned and met her frightened gaze. His hair stung his face as the wind drove it wildly, and he held out his hand.
Judge Not
------------ Fi ------------
Fi stared at Asher standing on the crazy pillar and felt her heart begin to race faster, if that were possible. She was simultaneously terrified for him, and thrilled at the same time. She wanted to join him, but her feet felt like they’d grown petrified to the rock. Normally, she wasn’t afraid of heights, but this seemed like the type of height to fear, if any. Her foot kicked nervously and a small pebble arced out into space, and then fell away. The wind whistled, stirring up dry clouds of snow. She shivered.
“Come, Fi,” he called. “Take my hand and step in front of me. I won’t let you fall.”
Ok. You can do this, Fi, she thought. She shifted her eyes to his face and locked them there. “Just don’t look down,” she murmured.
She took a deep breath and reached for his hand. With a tight grip, Asher helped her to maneuver past him. She took baby steps on shaking legs until she faced outward toward the canyon, with Asher at her back. The frigid wind sang and swirled, tugging so hard that she was sure she’d be blown away. Only Asher’s embrace kept her anchored to the spot. She leaned her head back against his shoulder. The experience was extraordinary, like being suspended at the very center of a giant snow globe.
Mountains loomed in the distance, the sun sparkling off their caps, their silhouettes growing hazy as they melted into the violet horizon. At her feet, a river growled through the depths of the canyon, charging and carving its way down to the glittering valley, where snow rolled in whitecaps over the slumbering trees. She sighed. It was glorious.
“It’s beautiful, Ash. Actually, that doesn’t really do it justice. Gorgeous. Amazing. When did you find this place?” Her voice whipped away on the breeze.
“On an early Seek, I did some hiking around,” he said. “I noticed when I tracked the tree line that the ground was climbing, so I went with it. I never expected to find something like this, but I knew when I found it that I wanted to bring you here. That I had to bring you here.”
Fi turned slightly, confused. “This is amazing, Ash, but why did you have to…?”
Her voice trailed off as she caught his expression. Oh. Of course. This was about last night. She’d almost forgotten about it. Almost.
“I know you’ve been down lately,” Asher said quietly. “About the Truthers and all. I brought you here, Fi, because when I found this spot, I knew I had my answer.”
“To what, Ash?”
“To whether I agreed with them or not.”
What? Her legs weakened in shock, and Asher’s arms tightened around her, steadying her. Everyone had always seemed dead set against the Truthers. She’d felt so stupid and alone in her doubts, like a lost little girl. But she was wrong. Asher had felt the same way.
“I also have to admit,” he said, “that what you told me last night about Heil’s research made me absolutely sick. At first, anyway.”
Fi felt the urge to jerk around again, but this time she restrained herself. She was certain that Asher had felt her stiffen, because he paused for a moment.
“I mean it, Fi. You probably thought I was ignoring you last night, but I really was tired, and well, shocked. I don’t want you to think that it doe
sn’t affect me. But look Fi,” his voice grew rough. “It’s still here. I’d spent so much time in the woods and underground that I forgot. The world is still here, Fi,” he buried his face in her neck. “And we’re still here too.”
The touch of his stubble-covered chin sent electric shocks through her, and she instinctively reached one hand back to cradle his head.
“Close your eyes, Fi,” he whispered.
Fear raced through her, chasing the adrenaline from his touch. She hesitated, but he persisted.
“Remember when I told you that if you trusted me, I wouldn’t hurt you?”
“Of course, Ash.” She could never forget the terror she’d felt as his sword swept past her again and again, but as he’d promised, it had never touched her. And the experience had been worth the fear.
Slowly, she closed her eyes. An immediate wave of panic washed over her. She gasped and gripped Asher’s arms. “Don’t let go,” she begged, her eyes squeezed shut.
“Shhhh,” his breath warmed her neck. “I’ve got you. Just listen and feel.”
Still squeezing her eyelids closed so tightly that they hurt, she nodded. With one more breath, Fi loosened her grip on Asher, and on the world. She sank into the blackness behind her eyelids. Without the view to steal her attention, she concentrated on what she could hear and feel.
The first thing she noticed was the sound of the river. She hadn’t detected it before over the gusting winds. Despite being distant, the sound was still powerful as it echoed over rocks and crevices. For a moment, her skin almost felt the mist rising from the depths. Far above, a hawk cried, the wind whisking the call away into a plaintive contrail. Tears pricked behind her closed eyes. It was beautiful. She took a deep breath and the sounds faded as she sank further into herself.
“Can you feel it?” Asher breathed.
“Yes,” her whisper was fierce. “I can feel it.”
And she could. It was the strangest sensation that she’d ever felt. As if she were simultaneously suspended in mid-air and immovably grounded. Each element laid some claim to her: the fingers of wind…the caress of mist…the sturdiness of rock, all of it binding her, sewing her into its tapestry. Her lips trembled. Asher was right. The world was still here. And so was she. They were a part of each other. Just like he said. Biting back her tears, she turned carefully into Asher’s embrace.
Seeds of War Page 16
