The Wounded Heart

by K. D. Worth

  Meegan mistook my silence for ignorance. “Well, if you don’t know what you did, tell me what happened before the fight. Maybe I can help you figure it out.”

  I snorted in disgust. “Oh, nothing major happened. Slade just told us the wraiths that were following me were actually shades, so yay, I’m a moron for not noticing the difference.”

  “I didn’t know the difference back then either,” she said.

  “And they were never even interested in me,” I went on. “The whole time they were searching for Kody.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “Slade told you that?”

  Sweeping the room to make sure no one heard me divulge info I shouldn’t, I leaned in. Slade didn’t tell me I couldn’t tell her. Herman swished his tail, and I wisely backed off. That damn cat always looked like it knew too much.

  Briefly I laid out what we’d learned in Paris. Meegan had helped me with my research into the shades and wraiths. She and Kody were the only ones I trusted to know about it.

  “And you guys fought after learning all that?” she said when I finished. Her smile had both a motherly and patronizing twist to it. “Hon, that’s a lot to dump on anybody. Kody’s already odd man out.”

  “No, he isn’t,” I insisted, though Kody had said the very same thing. “What makes you think that?”

  She sat back in the chair, caressing Herman when he settled back in her lap. “I can just tell. I mean, we all know he was going to kill himself. Maybe that’s not how he actually died, but that’s gotta be, like, really embarrassing for him. The rest of us, including his boyfriend, all died in an accident or like Dan who had cancer, or me and my aneurism. None of us had to go to purgatory before we came here either. Plus I imagine the whole gay thing has always made him feel like an outsider, especially with that family of his. And now to learn that spirits lost in limbo are looking for him? C’mon, Max, put two and two together. He’s been one of us for three months, and he has one helluva burden that he’s carrying all alone.”

  “He’s not alone,” I argued. Meegan’s math was off. With more than just “two and two” to his problems, his family and I were making it worse.

  How had I been so stupid? He’d been a reaper for such a short period of time. It had taken me a lot longer to accept being dead. And I didn’t have to deal with half the shit Kody did.

  No wonder he felt the need to escape his new reality by living in his old one.

  Dammit. “I’m such an idiot.”

  Meegan placed a soothing hand on my shoulder. “No, you’re not an idiot. Well, maybe a little,” she said with a twinkle in her pretty blue eyes. “Dating is tough. And it’s even tougher when you’re dead. Just let the dust settle, then go talk to him. Don’t make him tell you why he’s upset if he doesn’t want to. That’s, like, totally annoying when people pressure you to talk when you’re not ready. He just needs to know that you’re there for him.”

  “When should I do that?”

  She snapped her gum. “I don’t know, ya dweeb,” she said, sounding seventeen again. “But don’t leave him for too long. No one should have to face everything that’s coming his way alone.”

  I eyed her for a moment. Did she know more than she let on? Some days I swore she could read minds like Slade.

  Sitting back with another sigh, I allowed the wisdom of her advice to sink in.

  Since Kody joined the team, I’d been waiting for the day his training would be over, and I had all my powers back. I thought our life would be one big happily ever after. It had been awesome going on our first assignments together. I’d allowed myself to believe everything was finally falling into place.

  If only I could make him happy again. Convince him that our life could be happily ever after despite all our problems.

  A longing for the privacy of his dorm room accosted me. When we’d been there, just the two of us, everything had been clear. We’d had hours to talk and kiss, to enjoy the quiet comfort of being with each other. We’d had time to share secrets and work out our feelings. Now it seemed we were on a timer, with only five-point-six minutes to be alone. After some desperate kissing and touching, there wasn’t enough time to talk about the personal stuff before someone interrupted.

  “How am I supposed to fix this if we’re never allowed to be together?” I complained.

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re together constantly.”

  “No, we work together, but we’re constantly around other people. There’s so much going on that we never get a chance to be alone and talk about private stuff. You know? To just be us,” I finished with an eye widening for emphasis.

  “Ahhh,” she dragged out the word with a knowing smirk. “You wanna get laid.”

  I glared at her. “You’re such a bitch. That’s not what I meant at all.”

  Laughing, she put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a shake. “I know. I’m just giving you shit.”

  My eyes drifted shut as I relived our glorious time in Paris. Had that just been this morning? It felt so long ago after the day’s events. We tried six times to get the perfect kissing selfie with Paris in the background, laughing the whole time. If only we’d bothered to buy a selfie stick from all the peddlers selling souvenirs near the entrance. We’d caused a few tourists to chuckle at our efforts and finally a woman took pity on us and snapped the picture. It had been sheer bliss to not have any worries. There were no wraiths, no crazy sisters on drugs, no training sessions in a paper temple in the mountains—it had just been us.

  Unfortunately, our lives were more complicated than that.

  “If there was only a way we could spend a day together,” I mused out loud, knowing there was no chance for it, but realizing how badly we both needed it. “Like a vacation.” I gestured around the room. “A vacation from life.”

  “Well, why didn’t you say so?” Meegan asked with a mischievous grin. “I can help with that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  When her face lit up, I realized not for the first time, under all her wild makeup and permed hair, Meegan was one of the prettiest girls I’d ever seen. Honey-blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and perfect pixie-like features. I couldn’t blame Dan for following her around like a lost puppy. If I liked girls, I would totally be crushing on her too.

  She placed a hand on my shoulder, and I felt her love for me almost as powerfully as I could feel heat when I touched Kody. “I got an idea and you’re gonna totally flip out.”

  “What is it? Tell me.”

  She smiled. “Lemme work out some details first, then I’ll tell you everything.”

  I made a disgruntled noise. “You’re not gonna tell me?”

  “Nope,” she said with an impish grin before returning my annoyance with another maternal look. “Just let me do this for you guys. Since Kody came into your life, I can see how you’ve changed. You’re happier, more mature. I wanna give you both a gift. Something to remember me by. So you’ll always know how happy I was for you both.”

  I chuckled. “What? Like a wedding present?”

  “More like a honeymoon.”

  “Oh my God!” I cried, drawing attention from our friends across the room. “Now you have to tell me!”

  Laughing, she tossed a pillow at me. “I’m not telling you anything, dweeb.”

  I caught the fluffy projectile and made a swing for her. Herman hissed and ran off, obviously in no mood to tolerate shenanigans. Meegan dodged my pillow assault, giggling hysterically, and shouting, “Uncle!”

  Showing no mercy, I gave her a good wallop on the back of the head and laughed in triumph.

  “I’m gonna get you for that,” she promised, conjuring an even larger pillow out of thin air.

  “Oh, it’s on!”

  Even as she whacked the side of my face with a pillow, I cherished how my best friend always made everything so much better, so much easier to deal with. From a pillow fight, to secret words of wisdom, she was my go-to girl. Every day with her was fun. Even the time she’d talked me into doing my h
air like the guys in some band called Flock of Seagulls—talk about a nightmare!

  She meant the world to me, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

  MAX—Chapter 9

  “HOW DID it go yesterday with Kody?” Slade wanted to know.

  We were back in his mountain studio, wearing the gi pajamas. I plastered on a smile, though it might’ve been one of the hardest things I’d had to do in some time. “Fine. I got him and we went home.”

  “That’s it?”

  I nodded, ignoring the lump in my throat.

  In better spirits after talking to Meegan, I’d gone to Kody’s room, hoping we could make up. But he’d refused to talk to me or even open the door. When I’d reminded him that we had a crossover to take care of, he ignored me and I ended up going alone. After working as a team, it wasn’t the same without Kody.

  When I finished, I’d gone back to my room and tried texting him.

  Hey, I’m sorry. Can we talk?

  No, he’d sent back.

  When he ignored three more texts, I’d cried myself to sleep.

  Though I still looked like a hot mess—face puffy and eyes red—I wasn’t in the mood to talk about it with Slade.

  “Don’t worry too much, Max,” he said in a soft tone. “Kody just needs time.”

  I brushed at my face knowing damn well he already knew everything I didn’t want to tell him. “I don’t wanna talk about Kody.”

  His brows shot up. “Kody is the whole reason we’re here,” he countered.

  Hand on my hip, I glared at him. “You know what I mean.”

  He gave me an appeasing nod. “Fine, but if you want to learn how to use this lightning power, the subject might be raised.”

  That perked me up. “You’re going to teach me how to use it? We’re not just gonna talk?” And here I thought I’d be getting more “Slectures” for weeks before we ever got to any practical lessons.

  “Slectures?”

  “Sorry, do continue,” I said in my most respectful tone, hoping the name hadn’t annoyed him.

  Maybe if I could do something physical, it would clear my head and help me figure out how to fix things with Kody.

  But how could I fix things if he refused to talk to me?

  “Let’s begin.” Slade walked over to the open doors and sat down cross-legged, indicating I should do the same across from him. The gaping expanse of the mountain range was to my left, but no breeze from the cold air reached us.

  Slade studied me, and just when I thought he intended to make me listen to the silence again, he said, “You’ve had this power inside you since the moment you died, probably even before. That’s why I came to reap you myself instead of sending one of the others.”

  That was a shocker. I didn’t say so, however. Rather, I listened.

  Another shocker, I know.

  “But you first became aware of this power when you shot a lightning blast, correct?”

  “Correct.”

  “How did you do it?”

  “I don’t know. It just sorta happened, like a panicked response, I guess.”

  “Up until the moment with the wraith, you were not aware of any protective instincts?”

  I shook my head. “Not that I know of.”

  He studied me for a moment. “Are you sure about that?”

  “Well… um, I guess that’s not exactly true,” I admitted, memories racing back to me. “The second I saw Kody, I just knew deep in my soul I had to help him. It was like I didn’t have a choice. And when we touched….” I closed my eyes, remembering it all so clearly. The two of us clinging together on the side of the road, sobbing for what we lost, and grieving for what our lives should’ve been. Though we’d barely known each other for ten minutes, our connection had been instinctive, more than just reaper and charge. Almost as if I’d found a lost part of me that I didn’t even know I should’ve been looking for.

  “I didn’t realize it at first,” I went on. “Not while it was happening. I was just trying to keep him safe. But he was really warm to me, more so than any other charge. I thought it was just because we were….” I let that trail off because Slade could see the two of us wrapped up in each other on Kody’s little bed as clearly as I saw it in my own mind. I swallowed hard and fingered my ring, the heat of the holy spirit-infused opal sparking a brand-new memory.

  My eyes flew open.

  “He was warm like my ring!”

  Slade nodded but had no other reaction. “Close your eyes and remember. Tell me what else happened.”

  Obediently, I did as he asked, spurred on by my discovery and a desire to understand. “He felt warmer than usual. And from the first time we touched, I felt warm inside too. Until… he was gone”—my voice wavered a bit, but I soldiered on—“then I got cold again.”

  “And now?”

  “Reapers are supposed to be cold, ya know? But Kody is warm to me, just like when he was human. When we’re together, even if we’re not touching, or if I just think about him, I heat up inside. And it’s not hormones… it’s different.” My cheeks flamed at the admission, but I reminded myself Slade thought of sex as a “scientific curiosity” so there wasn’t any real reason to be embarrassed. I wish I’d known that tidbit when he’d given us the no-sex lecture: “Keep your hands out of each other’s pants. Don’t be getting naked. You’re not ready for how sex will change your relationship.” Blah, blah, blah!

  “I meant what I said about the sex,” Slade said softly. “Kody isn’t ready.”

  Though his tone was serene and trance-like, my eyes flew open.

  What in hell had Kody said to give Slade that idea?

  Archangels might not be capable of human attraction, but it didn’t mean I wanted Kody telling Slade stuff that should only be between us. Besides, if Kody wasn’t ready for sex, he sure wasn’t giving me that impression.

  Not with the way he was always the first one going beyond the zipper.

  “Just take the advice, Max, and close your eyes,” he instructed without opening his own.

  Tamping down my irritation because I knew Slade felt it, I took a deep breath and tried to get my Zen on by focusing on the task at hand. I pushed my pride onto the back burner. Learning how to keep Kody safe from the wraiths was the most important thing.

  Nothing else mattered.

  Even Kody talking to Slade about our sex life—or total lack thereof.

  My lips trembled. If Kody stayed mad at me, then any conversation on the subject was moot anyway, right? What if he was really done with us…?

  No!

  He said he loved me.

  Yeah, he was mad, but Meegan said all couples fight. We would get through this.

  We loved each other.

  At once the heat brewed inside me, rising almost as hot as if he were kissing me. It sparked a question. “The way I get warm, is that just because I love him? Or is that the power?”

  “Both,” he answered. “The two are deeply connected. You cannot have one without the other. We just need for you to learn how to access it instinctively, without thinking. Only when that happens will you be able to truly protect Kody, do you understand?”

  I nodded, though he couldn’t see me.

  “Now focus,” Slade encouraged, his voice calm, serene. Somewhat hypnotic, actually. “Concentrate on your love for Kody. Remember, it’s the most powerful magic you possess.”

  Loving, protective feelings for my boyfriend warmed my cold reaper body further. “Is the warmth just special to us?” I whispered, afraid of the answer.

  “Yes, now be quiet and concentrate.”

  My heart leapt and I let out a shuddery breath, unable to believe how relieved that knowledge made me. Many times I’d wondered if Tristen and Heather experienced the phenomenon too, but hadn’t wanted to ask them because I feared it would cheapen what Kody and I shared.

  It pleased me the sensation was unique to us.

  This fight would not be the end.

  Hope warmed me further.
>
  “Pick a memory, Max,” Slade said, his voice level and even. “A moment when your love for Kody became real to you.”

  Unlike yesterday when my thoughts went sexual, this time I remembered Paris:

  The Eiffel Tower seemed to magically appear above the treetops as we rounded a building and entered the park. Kody squeezed my hand, hard. “Oh my God, Max! It’s huge!”

  “That’s what he said.”

  Laughing, he gave me a playful slug. “You perv.” Then he tugged on my hand, and all but dragged me down the wide, tree-lined paths in the park to get to the landmark. All around us, people mingled, enjoying the crisp morning. We passed a man setting up an easel to paint caricatures for tourists, and the happy sounds of people enjoying themselves danced on the air.

  “You know, I thought the Eiffel Tower was black,” I said.

  “Huh, me too.”

  In reality it was a brownish color, possibly lighter at the top. Or maybe the sun played tricks on my eyes, creating the tonal illusion.

  Hand in hand, we took a leisurely stroll through the Champ de Mars—Kody had done his homework and knew all kinds of odd facts about the tower. I let him talk, listening but mostly just savoring our time together.

  Gazing up at the immense iron structure, Kody scrunched his face and shielded his eyes from the sun. “Do you wanna go up it?”

  “Absolutely.”

  After we noticed the crazy line for the elevator—a two-hour wait—we wisely opted for the stairs. The three hundred or so steps to the first observation deck didn’t really wear us out, and we hung out for a while, but we were more intent on getting to the top than sightseeing. When we once more mounted the suspended metal stairs and headed for the second deck, I declared, “This is crazy,” at the same time he said, “Let’s just teleport up there.”

  Laughing, we looked around to make sure there were no security cameras or people before we prepared to jump. Since the stairs were rather open, we crossed our fingers that no one noticed. I led the way, being more familiar with relocating than Kody. I kept us invisible to be on the safe side before we rematerialized in a crowd of people exiting the elevator.