by K. D. Worth
“That’s more than a few.”
“Yeah, well, the English language is a bit stilted, only having one word for all those different meanings. That’s why the Bible wasn’t written in English. Well, that,” he said with a chuckle, “and no one was speaking it at the time. Agape you’ve probably heard about in church, that’s sort of a universal love, the kinda love God has for all of His creations. A love for your fellow man. That’s a love you abound with. You even showed agape to that little duck.”
I smiled at the little bird and tossed her a few more bread crumbs.
“You love your fellow man, Kody,” Slade said, smiling at me. “It’s what makes you such a beautiful soul. I know you’re wrestling with anger at your mother. But you and I both know you don’t hate her. You’re not angry like Britany.”
“Sometimes I feel like I could be that angry,” I admitted. “My mom messed a lot of stuff up for us.”
“But you’re here now, and that’s there.”
“I suppose so.”
“Then there’s philia,” Slade continued. “That’s the love I like to think you and I share.”
Squirming in my seat, I did not reply. What was he getting at?
He chuckled. “Your English brain is still stuck on one word. Philia is brotherly love. Friendship love. The love you have for Britany would be storge, familial love. And that’s different from the love you have for Max, right?”
“Well, yeah.”
“With Max you have eros.” His brows rose. “I suppose you can figure out from the context that eros is love with romantic passion.”
My face went hot. Slade had known all along about our little Alaskan getaway, and though I assumed an archangel had no ability for the eros kind of love, he still knew what we did. Part of me wanted to know why Slade had told Max I wasn’t ready to have sex, but I also didn’t want to know his reason. That decision should be mine and Max’s, no one else’s.
“You have philia with Max too,” Slade went on, and though he could read the gist of my thoughts, he had the decency not to remark on anything. “The philia is the most important for you to cultivate with him. The eros is the easy part. Think about it this way: if love were a garden, the eros would be enjoying the fruit or the flower. The philia is tending the soil, watering, and nurturing. Don’t you think the fruit will be sweeter if it’s the result of dedication and devotion?”
The meaningful look he gave me had me studying my hands and my glistening opal ring. Yeah, Max and I were definitely inexperienced, but our bodies sure didn’t have to work hard to get that part right. Our friendship on the other hand, while it also came easy, required cultivating. Look at all the misunderstandings we’d had recently. Eros and philia did go hand in hand, because after Max and I talked out his fears and my worries, the intimacy had been sweeter.
“Did you tell us to wait because you knew we were having issues?” I asked, though a moment ago I’d intended to remain silent on the sex topic. “That we weren’t communicating?”
Slade shrugged, his hair fluttering in a cooler breeze. “I’ve spent hundreds of years with teenagers, and you all think that your generation is wiser than the last, but really, you’re all the same. I can’t make you do what I think is best. All I can do is make you think long and hard about your decisions. Arm you with the knowledge so you can make the wisest choices.”
Nodding, I said nothing.
“The last kinda love I mentioned is philautia,” he said, continuing his earlier topic. “That’s love of self. You work on that every day, don’t you?”
“I try,” I admitted, grateful it had gotten easier.
“Sometimes that’s all a man can do,” he said in a wistful tone. “All these different types of love are important, Kody. Understanding the nuances of them will help you be a better man and a better reaper. But the one thing that remains is they’re all love.”
“And love is the strongest power in the world?”
“Love is the strongest force in nature, both supernatural and earthly,” he replied, his voice as soft and soothing as the cooling air that blew across the pond. The shadows lengthened on the ground and the sky became grayer while the trees abounded with fluttering golden and brown leaves. “Do you remember when I told you that you soak up all the sadness around you?”
“Yes.”
“I meant that quite literally,” he said. “The spirits are draining you when you give them the Touch. And you’re letting them.”
“I am?”
“Unknowingly, yes.” Slade fished in the bag for more bread and tossed some to the grass. “People like you—the genuinely pure of heart—are magnets for the emotions of others. Their sadness becomes your sadness, their fear, your fear. You’re literally being drained of your own happiness in order for them to be happy and calm enough to cross over.”
That was exactly what it had felt like, but I had been unable to put any of it into words.
“That’s why the sadness in your family hurt you more than it may have hurt someone else,” Slade went on. “All the anxiety and stress in your house, you felt as if it was all your own. You care far more deeply than most people, which is what will make you a great healer once you understand how to balance it all. When you’re stronger, it’ll become second nature.”
“I’m trying to be strong,” I whispered around the sudden lump in my throat. Why am I always so weak?
Slade laughed. “If you were weak, then there’s no way that you could’ve returned that wraith to its true self. No, Kody, weak is not how I would describe you. You just have to find a way to protect yourself from giving too much.”
“How do I do that?”
“Max will have a hand in that, you’ll see. He has a lot of power that he doesn’t understand yet. He shielded you with his light, but I’m sure he doesn’t know how he did it. Heck, you don’t even know your full potential either. But I will tell you this, the reason touching Britany didn’t weaken you was because you gave your healing energy to her freely because of your storge for her. Your love. The charges you Touched, they took your energy because you didn’t fully understand how you needed to love them. Your agape was needed. That’s a big part of why you were drained. Once you learn to give that love freely, and not allow it to just be taken, you won’t be so tired.”
“But then where does Max fit in? If I don’t get weak, then I won’t need him to refuel me.” My voice cracked and panic started to set in. When Max had wept the night Meegan left, he said Slade told him I would not be staying… that I would be leaving him.
Could it be true?
“Kody,” Slade said, my name rumbling in my head and echoing in the cool air around us. Winter had settled in and a gentle flurry of snow wafted in the air, catching the sunlight like an aura of holiness around him. “Sometimes I say shit to evoke a response, but I am not a prophet. I’m a servant of the Lord, just like you are. The only difference is my job was to find you and Max. Max is a tough nut to crack, but you and I know he’s soft on the inside. I needed to reach that part of him so he could learn how to understand the powers he’s been blessed with.”
“So you just said that to scare him?”
“Reality can be scary sometimes,” he replied, and I frowned at his nonanswer. “Max needs to use his love for you in order to tap into his powers to keep you safe. The spirits are draining you, but your love of your fellow man and a willingness to help them—your agape—will prevent them from taking your healing energy from you. But that goodness, your strength is not a never-ending well. You’ll always need Max to revive you. And not every shade or wraith will take the help you’re going to offer them.”
The weight of his words rendered me speechless. He just said shades and wraiths, which meant I really was going to give those things a second chance.
That was my purpose?
“Yes, it is, Kody, but you don’t have to be afraid. We’ll work up to that.” He placed a hand on my knee, and I immediately felt calmer, my pulse returning to normal.
; “Are the shades searching for me because they know I can help them get to heaven?”
He nodded.
The cold whispers of the shades, the unbearable loneliness and cold…. I shivered. All those screams inside my head that night finally made sense. They had been waiting for me to come to them because they wanted my help.
But did I have the courage, or the strength to help them?
“You will. Besides, you’ll have Max’s lightning blasts”—he spoke the words with a chuckle—“to keep them from hurting you. And to prevent the wraiths from desecrating the bodies of your charges once they’ve crossed over.”
“I forgot about that,” I admitted, visions of “Zack” stabbing my sister assaulting me anew.
“She’s okay, though, remember that,” Slade assured me.
I nodded. Britany was okay, Meegan—though gone—was also safe in the bosom of our Lord. But would Max and I be safe when we faced these beings? Slade seemed confident in us, but could we actually do this?
“The key to your success is for you and Max to work together. You each need the other, like twin flames, two sides to one coin. You can’t have one without the other. The two of you share all of these different kinds of love I told you about.”
“We do?”
“Yes, those closest to us show us the most types of love. Max is your fellow man and your friend. He’s also your lover and family now. And balancing all these types of love will help you to love yourself, Kody. It’s impossible to love if you aren’t shown love. That’s what will fuel this healing power inside you. Do you understand?”
I studied my boss, the confidence he had in me clear in his face. Unsure if I shared such confidence, I clarified, “Cultivating all these kids of love in my life is the key to making it easier to help people, and um, the shades?”
“Yes.”
I frowned in thought, then asked, “Did you know this all along?”
“Yeah, I did,” he said. “Didn’t know you could help the wraiths, though.”
I shivered. I didn’t want to think about helping wraiths.
“One step at a time, Kody.”
The light flurry had accumulated on the bare branches of the trees, little specks of green still peeking out on the ground. Slade said time was not moving faster, but like the sense of moving forward, a growing understanding filled me as our conversation progressed. Almost as if I had months to process his words, though it only been a few moments.
Love. That was the key to all of this?
Yes, I loved Max, but I also loved the other people in my life, each in different ways. But the fact remained: love motivated my actions. Love had driven me to find Britany, though it had not been a wise decision. And on the flip side, my lack of philautia had caused me pain and grief, leading me to keep secrets from the boy I loved more than anything. Being motivated by agape would stop my charges from draining all my energy.
I had to learn how to balance all of this, but how could I love the shades—shadowy faceless beings—when they were wailing and screaming at me? That wraith had drained me so intensely, which begged the question, what would the shades take from me? Max said he felt stronger when I was absorbing his energy, but what if I took too much?
Would I ever be strong enough to face any of this?
“You eventually will be,” Slade assured me once more. “Just have faith.”
Remaining quiet I held out my hand, and a few perfect snowflakes landed on my palm. Slade mimicked the gesture, catching and studying the flakes too. I knew from science class no snowflake was like another. Apparently love had just as many variations too.
“But I won’t be able to help all of them,” I finally said.
“No, you won’t.”
If some of these spirits would resist, then Max had been right all along. There was a war coming. A war of faith and we would be at the center of it all.
Were we ready?
Did we have a choice?
The ducks had flown away and the pond began to freeze. A gentle blanket of snow built up, burying the grass. Being a reaper I didn’t feel the cold, but I shivered nonetheless as the ominous weight of Slade’s words filled me.
“And just what am I supposed to do now?” I asked softly, fearing the answer.
“We have a lot to do, Kody.” Slade chuckled. “The whole team does. It won’t fall on you boys all alone. But know this. You and Max are going to change the world.”
More from K.D. Worth
The Grim Life: Book One
Max Shaw is dead.
Well, sort of.
After dying on prom night, Max was recruited by a mysterious tattooed angel named Slade to join a group of teenage reapers. Cocky and sarcastic, Max thinks he has his afterlife together, but the moment Slade assigns him to his first suicide case, everything changes.
Christian college student Kody Michaels is struggling to make sense of his life and his faith. After a failed suicide attempt at an antigay camp, Kody is determined not to fail again. Tired of disappointing his family and God, he is going to end his life once and for all.
But in a split-second decision, Max saves Kody—defying the rules of a reaper.
Max believes his only concern is convincing Kody that God loves him just the way he is, so he can save him from a hellish afterlife as a shade. Little does Max know, some shades have found a way to walk among the living as wraiths. These evil wraiths know Kody has been slated for death, and they have another, darker purpose for him.
Max has only one night to save Kody before one of Slade’s team finishes the job Max lacked the courage to complete.
Readers love The Grim Life by K.D. Worth
“The story is laced with a mix of both somber moments and several very humorous ones, which I found to be a true joy to watch unfold…”
—My Fiction Nook
“Well written, intriguing and while this is a YA story, I never lost interest or felt the content was immature or lacking.”
—MM Good Book Reviews
“There’s a really strong message of hope and acceptance in this book. For being a good person and true to yourself.”
—It’s About The Book
K.D. WORTH has always considered herself to have the heart of a teenager with an old soul. When not talking to the characters living in her head, she loves to hang out at her favorite townie bar, then go dancing and partying with her husband and friends. There is always music playing in her home, and if it’s too loud, you’re too old! On the flip side, K.D. enjoys spending time in her vegetable garden, canning the food she grows, and making homemade jams and jellies. She also is known to crochet washcloths and blankets for her closest friends and smiles when they tease her for her “grandmotherly” ways. These two different sides to her personality create a layered tapestry of life experience that brings depth and believability to the characters she writes. She loves to hear from her fans almost as much as she loves her cocker spaniels. You can find her on Facebook or get updates about upcoming books on her website.
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Website: kdworth.com
By K.D. Worth
THE GRIM LIFE
The Grim Life
The Wounded Heart
Published by HARMONY INK PRESS
www.harmonyinkpress.com
Published by
HARMONY INK PRESS
5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA
[email protected] • harmonyinkpress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The Wounded Heart
© 2017 K.D. Worth.
Cover Art
© 2017 Paul Richmond.
http://www.paulrichmondstudio.com
Cover content is for illustrative purpos
es only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.
All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Harmony Ink Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA, or [email protected].
ISBN: 978-1-63533-781-5
Digital ISBN: 978-1-63533-782-2
Library of Congress Control Number: 2017951942
Published December 2017
v. 1.0
Printed in the United States of America
