“I will.”
All eyes had turned to Guinevere as she pushed her way through the angry and perplexed crowd. Tall and proud, she’d been one of the most beautiful women ever to live. Her long, curly black hair had been pulled back in a braid, with small tendrils of it escaping to frame her lovely face. Her blue eyes had been honest and sweet, her mouth a perfect Cupid’s bow.
Gawain and Agravain, who’d carried the lie of her infidelity to Arthur, looked away, shamefaced. With the full grace and dignity of her position as Arthur’s queen and consort, she’d turned to address the gathered knights.
“My most noble husband is dead. My youngest son slain by his side. My eldest asleep to await the day when Morgen raises Mordred to fight again.” She turned a sympathetic eye toward her accusers. “Tongues have borne the lies and mischief of others, and now Lancelot is in the hands of Morgen. There is no hope for him as I’m sure he will tell her nothing. Save him if you can so that mayhap he will forgive those of you who turned against him. As for myself, I loved Arthur with all my heart, and I know better than anyone the love he gave this land. I will not see his work and death go for naught. I will take the grail and carry it to a place where no one will find it. Ever. Once I’m sure it’s safe, I’ll do what my husband and children have done. I will send clues back to Merlin so that Draig may one day find it. Then I will give my life for the security of our people. Morgen’s treachery and evil will not win.”
The crowd began shouting in protest until Merlin held her hand up to silence them. “It’s been decided that this is how it will be. There’s no other way to protect that which cannot fall into Morgen’s hands. It must be done. And when midnight strikes tonight, everyone is to be here in Avalon. I, and the Merlins who remain, are going to raise a shield to limit the reach of Morgen and her people. Avalon and Camelot are going to be removed from the realm of man and will from this day forward be hidden behind a veil so that none of them will even know we exist. So long as a Penmerlin reigns here at Avalon, the veil will remain, and the world of man will be protected from Morgen and her army. We will hold the line here for eternity or until the day Morgen draws her last breath.”
Cries for and against Merlin’s plan had rung out.
Unable to stand any more of their fighting, Varian had left the hall and passed the black serge that marked the walls, reminding them all that the king and his sons had fallen. The Camelot of old was gone. Arthur would never be here again to lead them. Tomorrow was completely uncertain, except for one thing. They would have a long, hard battle against Morgen and her evil. No one here would ever be safe again.
Varian had felt ill with his sadness.
As he reached the door to the bailey, he’d been shoved hard from behind. Angry, he’d turned to find Bors standing there. The knight still had blood on his armor as he glared his hatred at Varian.
“Are you not going to save your father?”
“No.”
Bors had shoved him again. “Coward! Bastard! How could you care so little as to leave him to Morgen?”
Varian said nothing because he knew the one thing Bors didn’t. He was too young to fight his mother. His powers too green. If he were to go to Camelot for his father, he wouldn’t return. At least not to fight with this army.
Even now, he could hear his mother calling to him, promising him his heart’s delight to serve her. The Adoni were dark in their ways, but when it came to his mother…
She knew what brewed inside him, and she knew how to twist it to make him join her. If she gained control of his burgeoning powers, there would be no one to stand against him. No one except Arthur’s son Draig, who was locked in stasis. If Varian fell under his mother’s spell, he would use the years of buried hatred and knowledge he had for Arthur’s knights to destroy them all.
As he remained silent, more knights joined Bors. Together, they moved to attack him.
“Enough!” Varian had roared, sending toward them a sorcerer’s blast that rolled out from him in a wave that knocked them off their feet. He felt a silent wind whip around him, as it blew dust all over the others. There was fear in their eyes as they realized the exact extent of his immature powers.
It was why he wouldn’t be here tonight when Merlin worked her magick. He would go where he couldn’t hurt anyone. Where he wouldn’t have to choose sides or be used as a pawn. Where he’d be a danger to no one.
He’d spend the night in Glastonbury…with Dafyn and the others, and in the morning, he’d wander off and never be a part of this world again.
If only Varian had known then that it was his destiny to be a Merlin. By his going to Glastonbury, it had drawn the dark powers Merlin had tapped into toward that town and caused it to be sucked into the veil along with Camelot and Avalon.
It was his fault alone that Dafyn and the others were cursed, and it was a burden he’d carried ever since. He had destroyed the lives of every person there. But for him, they would have been as ignorant to the veil as everyone else on earth.
His heart heavy, Varian tried to banish the memories. But they refused to go. And this time they settled on the last time he’d seen Guinevere. It’d been at Fey Hollow. That nether time between night and dawn when the doorway to the Adoni world was open and thin.
Guinevere had sent word to him to meet her there at that time. The sky had just been lightening with the dawn when he’d seen her climbing the hill to join him. Pink and orange had laced the dark clouds above as the wind whipped her long, unbound hair around her shoulders. She’d been dressed all in white, her eyes tinged by dark circles that told of her long, hard journey and sacrifice.
Her face stern, she’d stopped just before him. “Your father is dead.”
“I know.” He’d felt Lancelot’s passing earlier that night.
Guinevere’s eyes had betrayed her own grief as she patted his arm affectionately. “He was a noble soul who wasn’t always good, Varian. None of us are. But he wasn’t as bad as you believe him to be either.”
Unwilling to hear her at that time, he’d snapped at his queen. “Why am I here?”
“Because I trust you with the most sacred of all secrets.” Guinevere had held out a small, tan scroll toward him. “I did as I promised. I’ve hidden the grail where it can’t be found, and here are the clues for my Draig. Clues that will only make sense to my son.”
He’d frowned at her. “Why give it to me?”
“Because Narishka would never think I’d be foolish enough to hand this over to one of her bloodline. But I know you, Varian, born of the fey. You won’t betray Arthur any more than your father did.”
She’d stumbled then, and would have fallen had he not caught her against him.
“Your majesty?”
“It’s the poison,” she’d whispered in a shaking voice. “I was hoping it wouldn’t spread so quickly.” She placed his hand around the scroll. “See this to Merlin. All our fates are in your hands now.” She started shivering uncontrollably.
Varian had removed his own cloak and wrapped it around her.
“Take me home, Varian,” she’d whispered. “Let me die beside Arthur’s tomb.”
He’d nodded quietly before he did what she asked. Using his powers, he’d taken her straight to Arthur’s final resting place under the castle at Avalon. Her face had lit up the moment she’d seen his gilded image on his sarcophagus.
Two heartbeats later, she’d died in Varian’s arms.
Varian had held her there for the longest time as grief overwhelmed him. He’d wanted to cry at the loss, but the tears never came. Only a thick sadness that seeped through his body and permeated every part of his soul.
He’d wanted to change the way things had turned out, but of all men he knew that he couldn’t.
After a time, he’d laid his queen down beside her beloved husband and looked at the parchment he held. All he had to do was open it and he would know the most valuable secret in all the world. He could claim the grail and use its powers for himself.
He could make everyone who’d ever insulted or abused him pay…
And by doing so, he would disgrace the lives of the only two people who’d ever meant anything to him. It would invalidate the sacrifices Arthur and Guinevere had made.
So he’d tucked the parchment into his pouch and taken Guinevere’s body to her favorite place. The hill in Cornwall where she’d played as a girl.
When he was a boy serving in Arthur’s house, she’d told him of this place and of the happiness she’d shared there with her sisters. If she couldn’t be buried beside Arthur because of the cruelty of others, then he could think of no better place for her to rest.
He didn’t use his magick to dig her grave. He’d done it by the sweat of his brow to honor a decent and kind woman who had given everything she had to save her people. It wasn’t until he’d finished burying her that he happened to look up at the oak tree that shaded her grave. There in the bark was an old jagged carving that had been distorted by the years.
Forever Guinvere’s Arthur.
Those words had burned in his mind as he’d traced the runic letters while pain washed through him. He would never in his lifetime know the love the two of them shared. He would never even begin to comprehend it.
His heart broken, he’d returned to Avalon then and handed over the scroll, unread. Merlin had stared at him in wonder. Like him, she was new to her role and uncertain.
But there in the first hours of the day, she’d proclaimed him to be the first of the grail knights who would carry one of the sacred clues.
Varian had tried to argue. “I can’t do this, Merlin. I’m not—”
“You are of the bloodline. You might be born of Narishka, but you are also Lancelot’s son. I can think of no better protector than one with your strength and power.”
“I didn’t even fight with Arthur.”
“But you didn’t fight against him either. Half of anyone’s strength is knowing one’s limitations and weaknesses. You chose not to put yourself in a situation where you would be tempted to evil.”
He’d shaken his head. “I should have been strong enough to fight.”
“And you will be one day soon, Varian. That is why I’ve chosen you.”
Varian had bound himself to her then. To be her tool. To be the one who would carry out her orders without question and to use his connection to his mother to find the traitors who would betray Merlin and the others.
He’d spent centuries wondering if he’d chosen correctly that day. He knew full well what would happen should his mother or Morgen ever learn of the symbol he bore in secret.
Now his mother’s servant most likely knew the truth of him. Merewyn had already told him that she would bleed for nothing. That she would sacrifice anything for her freedom.
She would sell him out without a single thought.
Kill her.
It would be the safest course of action. It would save both him and the others.
Gripping the dagger in a tight fist, Varian made his way slowly back to camp.
Chapter 14
Merewyn was doing her best to feign sleep when she felt Varian standing over her. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel his sharp, penetrating stare like a tangible touch. The scent of leather and man filled her senses, overwhelming her with the power of his presence.
What was he going to do?
Would he kill her?
Her heartbeat sped up as her panic rose. Refusing to be a coward and allow him to strike while she lay there, she opened her eyes and looked up at him. If he intended to kill her, then she wanted to see the deathblow coming. The darkness cast his entire face in shadows so that she had no clue to his mood or thoughts. He stood over her like a giant dark malevolent specter. The only thing she could see clearly was the dagger he held in a tight fist at his side.
He held it like a man bent on slaughter…
Her mouth dry, she licked her lips, waiting for him to lunge at her with the weapon.
When he moved, she would have screamed but for the fact that fear lodged itself in her throat and kept her soundless.
And before she could move, he pulled the cloak from his shoulders and laid it out over her. The weight and warmth of the black leather banished the chills on her body as he laid himself down by her side. His spicy scent clung to the material, making her heart pound even more.
He placed the dagger and his sword on the ground beside him, with his hand resting on the sword’s hilt.
Did he know she’d seen him while he’d bathed? If he did, he gave no clue.
“Good night, Merewyn.”
Still unsure if he intended to strike her or not, she whispered her reply. “Good night.”
To her complete shock, he closed his eyes. Bemused by his actions, she crept closer to see if he were merely toying with her before he struck. It was something his mother would have done. Narishka loved to lull her victims into a feeling of comfort before she viciously cut them down. The evil Adoni lived to see the look of shock on her victims’ faces before they died at her feet. Merewyn had no intention of giving Varian that satisfaction if such a thing was his intent.
She snuggled a bit closer.
Opening his eyes, he pinned her with a suspicious glare.
“It’s cold,” she said truthfully. “I was thinking we should share your cloak so as not to give you a chill. After all, your hair is soaking wet.”
Varian frowned at her words. Truthfully, he had enough magick to summon another cloak. But before he could tell her that, she scooted over to him and covered their bodies with the heavy leather.
Then she did the strangest thing of all.
She laid her head on his shoulder and settled down to sleep.
He couldn’t move as he felt her there, like a lover, by his side, with her hand resting gently at his ribs. The scent of heather was strong from her hair, and her soft breath tickled the skin of his neck. He’d never lain with a woman like this. Never trusted anyone enough to sleep beside him.
And she knew his secret…
If he were smart, he’d shove her away from him and rid himself of her threat, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Trust was an alien concept in his life. Yet what choice did he have at present? They were tied together until the end of this journey. Not to mention that there was no one for her to tell his secret to here except for Blaise, who also shared his cursed status…
With no one else around for her to tell about his mark, he should be safe for the time being.
Even so, he slid the dagger beneath his thigh so that she couldn’t reach it without his knowledge. Then he moved his hand to his sword.
Just in case.
After a few minutes, he felt her relax against him as she fell asleep. He didn’t move; hell, he barely breathed for several seconds as he waited for her to open her eyes and betray him.
She didn’t. She merely slept as if all were right in the world.
Could it be she truly intended no malice toward him?
She shifted in her sleep, raising one leg to rest over his thighs as her arm spread out over his chest, and in that instant he realized that her malice on him was far more insidious.
She was going to kill him with lust.
Desire speared him sharply at her actions. The weight of her body, combined with the peaceful look on her beautiful face, was unbearable.
Now how the hell was he supposed to sleep like this?
Unable to take it, he rolled to his side, away from her.
She snuggled up against his spine, spooning her body to his. Yeah, good move. Now all he could feel were her breasts against his back and her thighs against his buttocks. Even worse, her breath was falling against the nape of his neck, sending heat straight to his groin.
Unable to stand it, he pressed his hand to his cock in an effort to alleviate some of the pain. He considered taking matters into his own hand, but then decided against it. He wasn’t some callow youth who needed to masturbate in bed. He was a man full grown, and t
he last thing he wanted was to have Blaise and the others wake up and know what he’d done. Not to mention he didn’t feel like taking another bath in the freezing river.
No, he could control himself.
He raised his leg to get more comfortable. At least that had been his plan, but when her hand fell down to touch the skin that was bared by his jerkin riding up, he learned what true torture was. All he could think of was having that small, delicate hand cupping the part of him that was desperate for her.
Grinding his teeth, he could already feel himself sliding slowly between her fingers. Feel her cupping his sac as he feasted on her breasts…
Stop it!
He had to put it out of his mind. He was acting like one of the sex-starved triplets. If he didn’t get control soon, he’d toss her over his shoulder and run off with her himself.
Then again, given how long the triplets had gone without sex, he honestly felt sorry for them. If they were in as much pain as he was at present, it was a wonder they hadn’t killed themselves.
“Varian?”
He cringed at the sound of his mother’s voice in his head and knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep the rest of the night. Asleep, he was weak against her, and she might be able to manipulate his subconscious into telling her what they had planned or where they were.
Resigned to the fact that his life was seriously sucking at the moment, he rolled again to his back. Merewyn’s hand dipped to just below his waistband to touch the tender spot on his lower abdomen. Sucking his breath in between his teeth, he was grateful she was asleep. Little did she know that if she were awake and touched him there, he’d have no resistance to her.
Not that he had much as it was.
Especially now that she knew about his mark. The fact that she might see it while they were having sex was no longer a deterrent. In fact, he held a delectable image right now of her nibbling said mark…
He clenched his teeth at the thought.
Merlin had been a fool to choose him as a grail knight. He might yet prove his father right by switching his allegiance to the Adoni. Morgen would reward him well for such a thing, and he knew it.
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