by Kylie Parker
“Oh, my God…” She whispered desperately.
“I’m really sorry. I should have been honest with you.” Jimmy admitted.
“You put a gun to my head!” Anna yelled, blinking back tears. “Wait a minute. I’ve read about…” Her voice was shaking. “Three more heists. The security clerks were all killed. Did you…?”
“Yeah.” Jimmy nodded. “I killed them.”
“Noooo!” Anna cried, shaking her head downward and sideways, as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Those people had families! Children! How could you?!”
“I had to.” He claimed, looking down at his feet, his voice thick with emotion. Jimmy sensed her hands on his chest. Before he knew it, his back was against the wall behind him. Anna slapped him across the face.
“You son of a bitch!” She snarled. Anna attempted to strike him again, but just when she raised her hand, Jimmy grabbed it in mid air. Looking deep into her eyes, he tried to fight back the tears, but he could not force another word out of his throat. He pushed her back.
“I can’t believe I let you touch me with those hands.” Anna whispered.
“Goodbye, Anna.” Jimmy mumbled, as a tear rolled down his cheek. He then tried to walk by her.
“Goodbye?!” She exclaimed, forcing him to stop. “I’m going to the cops with this.”
“Again, I’m sorry.” He went on, standing next to her, the sound of her tears breaking his heart. “Take good care of yourself, my sweet Anna.”
Chapter Seventeen
Jimmy’s initial emotional reaction to his painful breakup with Anna was the decision to leave Highland Park. After all, why would he want to stay in the place where he had lost her? Nothing held him there. From then on, the mere mention of the name of that small town would hurt him deeper. As the hours went by, Jimmy realized how much his breakup with Anna had affected him. For the first time in his 28 years, Jimmy was feeling heartache. He was blaming himself for everything. With a bottle of whiskey in his hands, he reminisced about his few happy moments with her. Jimmy could only hope that Anna would find the strength to forgive him someday. He cried himself to sleep that morning, wishing he could see her one last time.
Other than heartache, Jimmy felt something more after he woke up: The desperate urge to write Anna a letter. Yes, he had shared his dark secret with her, but there were many things that she had no idea about. They would not make a difference; Jimmy knew that. However, he was so overwhelmed with emotion that he could not keep it all inside. Before leaving his small cabin, he sat down at the kitchen table, with a pen in his hand, a piece of paper in front of him and a heavy heart…
“My dear Anna,
It’s just been hours since we broke up, but man, it feels like years. I already miss you. I’ll miss you even more in the time to come. I’m not trying to win you back. I just want you to know a few more things about me.
I know it’s hard for you to understand why I chose this path. It’s hard for most people. I like to steal, but I don’t enjoy killing anyone. I just had to make sure nobody recognized me or my crew. I wish I could take back all the bad things I’ve done over the years, but I can’t. I never had any skills, Anna. I didn’t study anything.
I told you I grew up in an orphanage. You also know I had a brother. A twin brother. I forgot to tell you that. His name was Michael. I’m sorry, but whenever I think about him, I recall how I lost him. We were 12, playing on the roof of the orphanage, when we heard the fire alarm. We both panicked. He was always faster than me. He beat me to the roof door, but Michael was unlucky. He tripped and rolled down the stairs. The nuns said his death was instant. He didn’t feel any pain. Sometimes, I have dreams about that day. I still miss him. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. He was the only family I had. You see, my parents never gave a crap about me. I asked a nun about my mother. She said she was very young. She had no choice but to give us up. I never looked her up. I was mad at her. I thought it was just a lame excuse to get rid of me and Michael.
My favorite nun, Sister Maria used to say that growing up without any parental guidance is really hard. ‘Both parents are important. You will understand that better when you start your own family.’ I lost count of how many times she had said that. I loved that old lady a lot. She loved me too, God rest her soul. She was always pretty lenient with me and the other kids. But, Sister Margaret maintained that ‘criminals should burn in hell. They cannot seek redemption in Christ.” We always laughed when we heard that first bit. We couldn’t help it; she sounded a lot like a cartoon. But we were just kids, Anna. Back then, none of us could understand those words. Least of all, me.
Maybe I am beyond redemption. I don’t know. But what I do know is that the pain I’m feeling right now is very real. How is this possible, Anna? Why does losing you hurt so bad? I was hoping you could explain this to me, but I doubt you ever want to see me again. I can’t blame you there, baby. I lied to you. I failed you.
There is one more thing you don’t know about me. I have a photographic memory. You won’t like what I’m about to say, but I’ve memorized every line of your beautiful face. I didn’t do it on purpose. It just happened. I will remember everything about you, Anna. Your face, your body, your sweet laughter, your voice, the feel of your skin… God, that skin… But most of all, I will remember your words this morning. I’m sorry, baby. They hurt too much. But like I said, I can’t blame you.
You take good care of yourself, my sweet Anna.
P.S: I’ve never written a letter before.
Love
Jimmy
Jimmy put the letter in a white envelope, before loading his suitcase and the gray bag in the trunk of his old, blue Ford Taurus. He drove all the way to Anna’s house and slipped the letter under the door. Within minutes, he left Highland Park behind him, in the hope that one day, he would see Anna again…
Chapter Eighteen
A few minutes before midnight, Jimmy arrived in San Antonio. The long drive only added to his tiredness. But, as he stepped out of the elevator on the second floor of his building, his heart sank. Phil Morley, the elderly superintendent was standing on his doorstep across the corridor, looking inside Jimmy’s apartment. Someone had kicked down his front door.
“Hey!” Jimmy yelled, running towards him, his voice echoing. “What the hell happened?”
“The cops.” Phil croaked in his hoarse voice. “You’re going to need a new door. Among other things.”
Jimmy’s apartment was a mess. His TV was on the floor, among the couch cushions. The dining room table had been flipped over. Things were not any better in his bedroom. All the drawers of his nightstand were open and his clothes were lying on the floor, with a white sheet on top of them. This was not a typical raid. It felt personal, as Jimmy soon found the picture frame of him and Sister Maria shattered at the foot of his bed.
“This is retaliation.” He thought to himself. “Thomson, you sick son of a bitch. This had to be you.”
Jimmy went back to the living room, thinking that he had to find a place to spend the night. However, an even more familiar figure was waiting for him at his front door. Father Henry Howard, Sister Maria’s brother. The 6ft tall, 68-year old man and Jimmy didn’t get along. He was rather strict to him and often punished him and the other children for “being bad” as he used to call it. It had been more than ten years since Jimmy had last seen him, but he had not missed him at all.
“What are you doing here, Father?” Jimmy could not hide his frustration. “It’s a little late for a house call.”
“Hey, Jimmy. It’s been a long time.” Father Howard waved. “You’re right. I moved across the street last week. I was about to go to bed when I saw you on the street.”
“This is not a good time.” Jimmy grumbled. “I got to go.”
“I can see that.” Father Howard said with a nod. “Why did the police raid your house? What did you do?”
“That’s none of your business.” Jimmy put some more force in his voice. “Goodnight.”
“I’m sorry, I just got curious.” Father Howard said. “I come on behalf of Sister Margaret. She’s been trying to contact you lately.”
“How is she?” Jimmy asked.
“Not so well.” Father Howard shook his head sideways. “St. Mary’s orphanage is shutting down in a few days.”
“What?” Jimmy squinted at him.
“I’m afraid it’s true.” Father Howard whispered. “Budget cuts. The city can no longer sustain it. She thought you might want to see the place you grew up in one last time.”
Jimmy was taking one blow after another. Not only had he lost Anna, but he was about to lose the one place that he could call “home”. He was emotionally attached to that orphanage. It was one of the things in this world that he held dear, even though his brother had been killed in it. St. Mary’s orphanage would probably be turned into something else, like a shopping mall or even demolished.
“Shit.” Jimmy said, running his hand through his hair. “And there’s nothing you can do?”
“No.” Father Howard replied. “The budget of the orphanage is too high. We threw a fundraiser four days ago, but the money we collected was just $48,000. Less than half than what we need.”
“How much money are we talking about?” Jimmy inquired.
“A hundred and twenty-five thousand.” Father Howard replied.
“That’s a lot of money.” Jimmy commented. “What about the kids? What’s happens to them?”
“They’ll end up in foster care.” Father Howard sighed.
“Damn it!” Jimmy yelled, kicking the armchair on his right, his blood boiling in his veins. “Thanks for letting me know, Father. I’ll come by tomorrow morning.”
“I’m sure she’d love that.” Father Howard murmured. “She talks a lot about you, you know.”
“She was good to me while I was there.” Jimmy remarked. “Unlike some other people.”
“I’m guessing you’re referring to me.” Jimmy’s words put a bitter smile on the priest’s face. “I know I overreacted sometimes. I was a little too harsh on you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s a little too late for that, Padre.” Jimmy complained. “You seemed to forget that you were dealing with children. They’re supposed to do stupid things. You didn’t have to punish us all the time.”
“I know.” Father Howard assured him. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow. You have a good night.”
“Goodnight.”
“St. Mary’s orphanage is shutting down. And none of the rich pricks in this city gives a shit. Well, not if I can help it. It’s so sad… Some of the money I stole is going to be used to save the place I grew up in. I guess something good came out of that robbery. But I have a request. I just need a baby girl.”
Chapter Nineteen
The sight of the two massive oak trees that graced the entrance to St. Mary’s orphanage greeted Jimmy, early the next morning. Lush greenery, children’s voices… They reminded him of his own childhood. But they also reminded him of Highland Park, on the day he had met Anna. However, Jimmy was there for a very important reason. Reminiscing about the recent past could not help the thirty or so children that the orphanage housed. Jimmy walked into the old building, with a black bag in his hand, feeling his heart swelling with joy.
The white, flaky walls, both outside and inside the structure were a clear sign that it had been neglected. More than that, several tiles on the floor were broken or chipped. There were four classrooms on the ground floor. Their doors were open, but they were empty. His ears picked up Sister Margaret’s adenoidal voice and the voice of another female, from the classroom on the left corner of the large hall. He stepped into the room, as the unknown woman left it. Sister Margaret was sat at her desk, reading a newspaper. She had put on some weight, but other than that, she had not changed much. Sister Margaret was just 5’3”. The freckles on her face made her look younger than her 58 years of age. Jimmy tapped the knuckle of his left index finger against the brown, wooden door three times. She looked up at him.
“Jimmy Holden?!” She exclaimed, opening her mouth wide. “Oh, my God!” Sister Margaret put her hands on the desk and quickly arose to her small figure.
“How are you doing?” Jimmy asked with a smile. Walking up to him, the nun opened her chubby arms. He bent his knees and put the bag down, before doing the same, welcoming her in his embrace.
“It’s been such a long time…” A soft whisper escaped her. “How’s life treating you?” She asked, leaning back.
“Can’t complain.” Jimmy mumbled. “What about you?”
As one would expect, his question froze the smile on her face. Her eyes darkened. Sister Margaret glanced around nervously, squeezing her lips.
“I know everything. Father Howard told me all about it last night.” Jimmy saved her the trouble of having to speak. “I’m sorry.”
“The economy is really bad, Jimmy.” Sister Margaret said with a sigh. “We should have seen this coming.”
“Tell me about it.” He agreed. “Are there any…” Jimmy faltered. “Babies here?”
“Why are you asking?” She got curious. “Are you interesting in adopting one?”
“No.” Jimmy responded. “Well, are there?”
“Three.” Sister Margaret said. “Two boys and a girl. The girl is the youngest. She’s just seven months old.”
“I’d like to go see her.” He requested.
“What’s on your mind, child?” She wouldn’t let up.
“Just take me to her.” Jimmy insisted, unwilling to reveal why he wanted to see the little girl.
“Follow me.” She spoke in a lazy tone.
He smiled to himself, as the nun passed him by. Sister Margaret started towards the stairs across from them. Jimmy walked behind her. They climbed the stairs and went to the nursery on the right. Indeed, there were three babies there, all sleeping in their bassinettes.
“Here she is.” She whispered, pointing at the pink bassinette between the two blue ones. “Can you please tell me why you wanted to know about the babies?”
Jimmy did not dignify the nun’s question with an answer. Instead, he slowly approached the baby’s bassinette in the middle of the room. Then, he bent his head towards her. The baby girl was beautiful. She only had a few strands of brown hair on either side of her head and looked peaceful in her white romper. What really struck Jimmy though, was her curly eyelashes. They reminded him of Anna.
“Cute little thing.” Jimmy smiled. “Have you named her?” He asked, returning his gaze to Sister Margaret.
“No, why?”
Jimmy’s smile grew wider. Nevertheless, he had to explain himself.
“Father Howard said you needed about $77,000 to keep this place open. Here.” He said, handing over the black bag to the nun.
“Jimmy, what are you doing?!” Sister Margaret was too moved by his gesture to keep her voice down anymore. A rush of excitement sent color to her pale cheeks. She covered her mouth with her hands. “Where did you get all that cash? Seventy-seven thousand is a lot of money.”
“Don’t ask.” He urged, his voice stiff. “It’s yours, on one condition.” Jimmy brought his right index finger closer to his face. “That you’ll name the girl ‘Anna’. By the way, there’s a hundred thousand in that bag.”
“Of course.” She nodded. “A hundred?”
“Yeah. Use it to fix the place up. It doesn’t look so good.” He commented, with a hint of disappointment in his voice. “I think it’s enough to buy the kids some clothes, too. If it’s not, give me a call.”
By the time Jimmy finished his sentence, tears had welled up in Sister Margaret’s big, brown eyes. Two, large tears rolled down her face as she shut them. Her lips tightened. She opened her trembling arms and collapsed into Jimmy’s embrace.
“God bless you, child.” Sister Margaret whispered. Jimmy wrapped his arm around her back, as the nun’s body shook violently. Bursting into tears, she soaked his shirt. But Sister Maria was not just crying. She w
as sobbing. Jimmy caressed the back of her head over her black veil, biting his lower lip, desperately trying to fight back the tears. It was hopeless. He closed his eyes, wrapping his other arm around her back as well. His grip grew tighter, as he squeezed a tear out of his left eye.
“Sister Maria would be so proud of you.” The nun sniffled. “Thank you, child. Thank you so much.”
Jimmy sensed the muscles of her arms flexing on either side of his midsection. Sister Margaret was too emotional to leave his embrace. But he wouldn’t complain. Jimmy had missed feeling loved. He needed people to show him that their love. The type did not really matter. He rolled his eyes right. Jimmy fixed his gaze on the baby girl.
“Hi, Anna. I’m sorry you’re here, little girl. I really am. You should know that these women will look after you and they’ll love you, like they did with me. Be nice to them. Don’t cry all the time, ok? I hope they find you a good home. I never got so lucky. Sleep tight, Anna. I’ll come visit you again soon.”
“One last thing.” Jimmy whispered. “This stays between us. If anyone asks, just say you got the money from an anonymous donor.”
“Ok.” Sister Margaret sniffled. “Thanks again, Jimmy. I will always remember what you did.”
“Just make sure the kids have everything they need.” Jimmy urged. That day, he would leave the aging building, knowing in his heart that he had saved it. No child would end up in foster care and he could continue to visit it, every once in a while. Jimmy was happy. Before he made it to his car though, he received a text message from Anna’s brother.
“I’m waiting for you at your place. Looks like a bomb went off in here. You and I need to talk.”
Chapter Twenty
Andy’s text message pretty much ruined Jimmy’s day. He did not want to face him. Andy would probably be mad at him for breaking Anna’s heart. Her brother was quite mellow. Jimmy did not expect things to get out of control, but a lecture was the last thing he needed. Whatever it was that had brought Andy to San Antonio, had to be very urgent.
